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  2. do what you will. I'm not following this thread myself bc I don't like getting email notifications every 10 minutes lol, I just refresh the page every so often I already said how I didn't mean to really be an asshole or anything but I know full well that's how I came off. I think my point with that wasn't so much that I don't want you to take it like that because that'd be stupid, I was clearly being a dick, but moreso that I don't hate you and I'm not hellbent on shooting down everything you say. Nay, I'm just grossly confused by everything you say :D
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  4. I’m so done with you I’m unfollowing this thread
  5. thanks habibi like again I gotta reiterate I don't mean to be an ass. I mean I know I AM right now but that's because what you two are describing is illogical on every level. I'm trying to understand it but your explanations make no sense. like again I gotta say, who cares?
  6. I did and it lead to an answer that explained nothing and only raised more questions What does this even mean? I mean yea having some form of gender dysphoria makes sense for being trans like it's the main reason for transitioning isn't it??? Stop using gender to describe things that don't need to use the concept of gender. At the end of the day, like lumi said, Elsewise most people just don't care. You can use whatever labels you want for yourself internally. Just don't act confused or offended when you're met with weird look and a lot of questions. that may seem obvious to you. I'm steadily losing my cool but please understand me when I say that I'm not trying to be rude. I'm legitimately confused here on many accounts. And don't claim "I'm autistic you wouldn't get it" because I'm autistic too. Like I asked what gender means to you and you didn't even properly respond. Now, Bre, the gif above is addressed to you. Like... Wha?? Like I said just keep it all internal. It saves everybody time and effort. If you seriously want to abolish the concept of "gender" then just... stop making new concepts of what gender is and isn't. It is as complicated as you want to make it because it is such a vague term. I can't even say "we're beginning to understand it more nowadays than we used to" bc the meaning we have for it nowadays is just made up. People haven't really thought too much about it throughout history(please don't send some article refuting this point and go thinking you beat me, I really don't care) because they don't need to. Paradoxically, gender has become MORE solidified in our culture rather than less. I don't even think it's gender as a concept y'all wanna eliminate, I think it's just the preconceptions of "a man is this and a woman is this" which is fine and dandy but y'all can do that without reinventing the wheel. If you seriously need to find some unique label for your gender bc "I am me and that's good enough, what my gender is doesn't matter because I'm me" then that's a CERTIFIED SKILL ISSUE. Don't make it everyone else's problem.
  7. Thank you. It feels kinda wrong for those two to be transmeds if they were endo systems anyway, if you catch my drift. Feel free to pm me I’ll take a break from this thread
  8. y'all are making a lot of assumptions here. you keep saying like "you can't be both this AND this" or "this term is meaningless and you're just using it to feel special/fit in with some group/whatever". sometimes there are nuances to one's feelings that are hard to explain, and so people can use words that might not make sense to you at first. and maybe the nuance doesn't seem that important to you, but I don't see what the problem with trying to use more specific language is. specialness isn't a limited resource instead of telling people that their assessment of their internal experience is wrong, ask them to clarify about aspects that you don't understand or seem contradictory "filmgender" or whatever isn't any more meaningless than "female" in a culturally neutral sense, the only reason why "female" is more accepted is because people broadly have the cultural context to more or less understand what people mean when they say "female", and most people don't have the cultural context to understand what someone means when they say "filmgender". although even with the context that we have, the word "female" can mean different things to different people, and even a lot of people who identify with the term don't necessarily know what exactly it means to them, or why exactly they identify with it. is a female someone who cooks and wears makeup and dresses? a lot of people would find a definition based around that to be reductive and derogatory, but it would be misleading to ignore the association between those characteristics and femininity. same with trying to say that a female is someone who fits within a certain group of phenotypical characteristics that are correlated with one another, or who have a certain set of chromosomes, or what have you. I consider myself female, but it can be really hard for me to figure out what is really the core of that, and what makes me enjoy being female and uncomfortable being male. I learned how to do makeup not that long ago, and I enjoy it, but would I still enjoy it if it was associated with masculinity rather than femininity? and if not, isn't that rather shallow? that arbitrarily grouping activities and practices into different categories influence my opinion like that? there is a lot of baggage that goes along with the terms "male" and "female", and you don't have that as much with non binary genders. it's a chance to really explore who you are and who you want to be that you don't get if you stick with binary genders. it's sort of a tradeoff though, because, while for binary genders, it's very easy for people to understand the surface level of what it means, getting to the core of it is very difficult, for non binary genders it's the opposite. nobody really understands what "filmgender" means, so you don't have to worry about what it means for other people, you just have to worry about what it means to you. for me personally, I wouldn't know where to start with a nonbinary gender, and I would just default to whatever I was doing before, while binary genders being already defined works great for me because it is a set of expectations that are already layed out for me. when I started transitioning, I thought to myself "I know that being male doesn't work for me, so I'll try being female. I don't know whether or not that will work for me either, since I've never tried it before, but at least I'll have gone through the experience, and if it doesn't work out, then I'll have more context to find somewhere in between that works better for me", and so far, I have enjoyed the things that being female has allowed me to do and the ways it has allowed me to be, and I haven't missed the things that being male allowed me to do and be, so it has worked out well for me, but I can understand how for some people, a non binary gender might be best for them, and I can understand how someone could be non binary but still prefer she/her pronouns and I don't think that it is particularly contradictory. the pronouns don't make the gender
  9. There are a lot of trans girls who are also non-binary. Like a certain celebrity, Casey Mongillo, who uses she/they. I happen to use she/it
  10. Yeah this. I didn't know how to word it so I just omitted it 🥴
  11. "Nobody cares but you" isn't the best way to put it. Other people trying to create a unique display identity for themselves might also care. It's more just that this is a hollow way of dealing with the modern struggle to feel special in such a huge world. There are healthier ways to go about it in the long-term that don't rely on a specific subset of people constantly telling you "The things we made up are definitely meaningful!", like simply working on yourself, your mindset, the quality of your automatic thought patterns... Things that will build up a real sense of sureness in your identity, things that'll support you even when others aren't there to reassure your sense of self for you. Very much speaking from experience. My unshakable mental foundations I've built up are something I wish everyone could have, and even if I'm bad at wordsing or not coming off wrong, that really is the intent behind most criticisms and advice I give on many similar topics like this
  12. fair enough ya ditto like Lumi said, the whole affair feels largely pointless, like people just want to make new terms to make themselves sound unique. But like... it doesn't work. The whole idea of coming up with all these new descriptor words is so silly to me. Why does it matter for everyone to know exactly how you're attraction works? It doesn't. Nobody cares but you. it's not healthy, either. if you don't like labels like "male" and "female" n stuff, then stop making new labels and just let people get to know you for you, not whatever labels you come up with. you are more than the words in your twitter bio! 😂
  13. Nonbinary means they/them by default, but there's room for the neopronoun-oriented to say you can be nonbinary and still use a different pronoun, like with an x in it or something. But you definitely can't be nonbinary and she/her. What you're saying sounds more like being genderfluid, between she/her and nonbinary specifically? I don't really encourage the use of terms like genderfluid either, but it's a lot more established than xenogenders
  14. I think Roc in xbc2 is nonbinary biologically but identifies as male. the ball is in his court, really. he isn't male or female so he can choose. okay "gray" sexualities make little sense. Like... you don't need a special term for it. I may very rarely feel romantic attraction to people (except Layy <3) but I think that's because I'm self-aware of my own attraction and I know what I like. Does that make sense? I feel like having a special term for that is just pointless. what does it *really* matter, at the end of the day? who cares but you? who are you helping by having that term?
  15. Also I prefer it/it’s as my gender neutral terms
  16. There’s a lot more nuance to that. Xenoblade Chronicles 2 has a character who is he/him but identifies as non-binary, and for me I am grey-aromantic, which means I don’t normally feel romantic attraction but certain things can trigger it. It’s a similar thing you’re implying called gray-ace
  17. yeah to me it's the same thing as saying "asexual people can be sexually attracted to people too!" like that's a literal contradiction of words right there. ^ nonbinary means they/them bc those are gender neutral. she/her are feminine pronouns that mean you're a woman.
  18. Hey now wait just a gosh-darn minute, even WITH the specifying of gender/sex split you definitely can't be she/her AND nonbinary! Now I'm back to doubting if you even know what these words mean again
  19. (oops, I didn't see posts on the next page, hold on) There's a few newer terms that are still fine, since they describe a specific thing that suits tons of people and didn't really have a word for it already. I see nonbinary as a necessary "Opt out" of gender in general, though uh.. I guess you're very deep in the gender rabbit hole if you can somehow call yourself nonbinary and female in the same sentence. I won't get into all that though
  20. But it’s just. I feel euphoria as a woman, and can be butch or femme depending on the day
  21. For me I use neopronouns specifically but I’m fine with she/her, just not they/them. Same with Vee, as well as us together
  22. That's nice anywho What does gender mean to you?
  23. Sorry…I don’t take well to criticism but I’m trying my best
  24. I AGREE WITH LUMI "Gender" may be a vague concept but what you're describing doesn't even fit into that term. Like Lumi said, just say you're a cinema enthusiast and in particular you like the vibes of 1920's hollywood. that's all you gotta say. no one is gonna know what you mean when you say you have a great cinema xenogender or something.
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