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Fairweather

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  • Member Title
    Foxxy

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    Female
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    Adrift in reality
  • Bio
    Tulpa pretending to be a Host

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  1. Gemini: It's been turbulent, mainly because the body doesn't always accept the fact that someone new is at the wheel. It doesn't happen as much now, but occasionally the body will be hard to function and a ton of intrusive thoughts hit. Doesn't get lonely since there are others in here, it's not just me. It's hard to know what is different externally, since life always is changing anyways, but internally is strangely quiet some days. I've actually got mildly stuck myself now, though it's not at a level where I can't disconnect. It just takes more to detach. Transition wasn't *for* Sammy, it was debated that we shouldn't *because* Sammy was male. Sam has since joined another in a merge to the current day Raven, who's non-binary. It's very likely we will transition, it's now external factors that prevent this (such as money, location, and ties to family that are transphobic).
  2. Raven: It's likely that they are just knocked out. Do what you can to relax, take deep breaths. Search inside for your host, be sure to apologize, and don't fret if they don't respond immediately. It could also be a result of mental exhaustion, which may mean they will be fine after some physical sleep happens.
  3. Gemini: It's been a while, hasn't it? A lot has changed, a lot has stayed the same since the last update. It feels weird that mom has been gone for over a year and a half ago by now. Ali has moved back to the person he's from, so only me, Raven, and Jenna are here most days, with Hope popping in every now and then. It feels weird that we have less in this head sometimes than we had when the two I am the merge of were made. If that makes sense. Most of the changes are with myself. Learning a lot about not just myself, but of the body and our brain. And it is kinda wild. I do see myself as a merge of Clara and Jessi, yet I'm separate from them at the same time. I don't know much when it comes to "systems inside systems", but long story short, I did have a very lucid moment where Clara and Jessi both had talked to me to snap me out of a paranoid fit, without splitting away from me or being separate from me. So even though I do see myself as the merge of the two, I also know I am not them directly, I'm my own person, and that's lead to a lot. One stranger one is that I actually deeply identified with mom's old fursona of Plush. Before she left, she did give permission to have it as an OC for whatever, but part of me identified with it in a deep level, and that honestly tore me up for a long time. I couldn't separate mom from "Plush" for a long time, so seeing "Plush" as part of me spiked a fear that I would become mom, one way or another. Over time though, especially with that conversation with Clara and Jessi, I have been able to separate them and it lead to very odd feelings. It ended up with weird whiplash at first, but I became a lot more comfortable with "Plush" as being me, and mom being mom, and the two not being the same thing. I've since adopted Plush as a secondary fursona of mine, which I absolutely feel is right, but certainly might seem out of the blue to anyone who's only watched us through this forum. As said, a lot. Before that happened, me and Raven actually decided to be mates! We both are very much Ace, but we have a tight romantic and platonic love for each other. Being open about who I am, how I feel, and all of that has lead me to really analyzing how our brain works and our collective past. While we are not diagnosed, we clearly have mental issues, mainly some sort of bipolar depression as our biggest issue. I've also begun to realize that we might genuinely have some sort of ADHD or Autism, though we are fully undiagnosed and I do not trust our local healthcare systems at all for various reasons. Just the idea we may have one of those has lead to looking back at past actions, issues, and other things from mom and from others in our head in a very different light. Last real change in me is that I regressed a lot, sometimes as a cope for stress, sometimes as a response to mental whiplash. But I also found myself enjoying being little, more than expected. It's lead to me making a decision to be a little by choice, which like. I'm not entirely sure if it's good to be both the body owner *and* a little, but I am here. Raven actually also has willingly elected to be momma for me, which is so kind of them and love them for it. But what effects this all has on us is yet to be seen. That's about it. A lot to say on me, not much on others. Jenna's been quiet but still active internally. Raven has been very supportive as I've explored myself. That's all to say really.
  4. Gemini: Both Destiny and Jackie do not consider themselves as part of the "system" due to the fact they tend to reside more in subconcious/dream areas, rather than sticking to being concious. Though, that's a technicality that they stick to, I would still count them as part of our overall group.
  5. Gemini: What they are initially created as doesn't matter. Just be sure to keep an open mind to changes later on. If they say they want to be a specific gender, try to move toward that.
  6. Gemini: In our experience, a tulpa does not need to wear the same clothing when being created. I don't know why people believe it's necessary.
  7. Gemini: This is a very interesting question when 2 of our 4 current permanent members are animate versions of inanimate things, with me being a pooltoy foxxy and Raven being a fursuit bird. So it might be a bit obvious there. Otherwise, we all also have a shared affinity for plushies, because of our former host having been one, so there's that too.
  8. Gemini: So I will be a bit short with this update. We have had a bit of an extreme case of system-shrink going on, and while it hasn't been bad, it's a huge mix-up for me and those here. For updates: Sammy and Raven have merged to keep it permanent, now going by Raven. Mom (Plush) has been completely dissipated, which I'm not going to get into here. Jackie and Destiny are going back to being purely dreamscape beings, so they won't be around like tulpas/alters would. Hope is going to be shifting between the dreamscape and here weekly, meaning she will not be here often. Previously, we also had me be the merge of Candy and Nova (Clara and Jessi), and Jenna is the merge of 3 others. Previous Raven also was the merge of 2 others. In total, we have gone from a system with more than double digits of personalities this time last year, to only 4 permanent members (Me, Raven, Jenna, and her dad Ali (Who in turn isn't originally from here)) with 2-4 in and out 'visitors' (Hope, Eva, Eva's mate and their kid). While I do think the group isn't going to be any smaller now, it's a huge shift. On the other hand, I probably will be sprucing up our profile here and renaming it from LostOne to our system name of Fairweather. I don't have much else to say, maybe next time I poke in, I'll actually talk about those who are here now more :p.
  9. Gemini: So 4 months instead of mom's expected 6, I think that's good for us. Some important updates and I'll be on my way again. We decided to make things where even if moms attached to the body, it's now formally *my*body and I should handle it as much as I can. So in a sense, I could be the host of the system now? Depending on definition I guess. Meanwhile, Sammy and Raven have been experimenting with merging. They both actually like it a lot, and might stay merged. If so, they said they will keep Raven's name and will go non-binary, so that's fun. That's about all I got for today~
  10. Fish, birds can be fun to be around and many types are tastey too. Tables or Chairs?
  11. Kelly (Plush): Hello! Time for an update. First up, I'm going to start dropping my name of 'Kelly' in favor of my nickname of 'Plush', as I identify closer with it anyways. With that out of the way, oh boy its been a long few months for us here. Gemini did control the body for the majority of the time between our last update and now, via possession. She has been doing very good at running life, and if anything, it has me more set on learning switching due to trust in her handling life well. So we are gonna be working on that, again. This time though I know we will get it. Instead of focusing on trying to dissociate from the physical body, I'm gonna be taking the approach of associating with my mental form more and building that up, so that I am able to perhaps dissociate more naturally. The overall goal for me and Gemini is an eventual swap in primary. That's something I know can be a bit controversial but we are taking things safe as possible. It turns out I do have my own stable mindvoice. I used to not hear it, or it would sound like a random voice, but now I'm able to say I have a stable mindvoice now. Idk about anything else, so c ya all in about 6 more months again!
  12. Kelly: Our wonderland has not much stability with sizes, so anyone can be as tall or small as they want, and room/house sizes aren't consistent. Semi-cartoony physics apply, generally anything that would hurt or cause damage in reality won't do so in the wonderland. Likewise, what form you use isn't set in stone, so if you decide to change yourself, you can. Weather seems random, but it's always daytime. Unless I just randomly haven't seen it be night. Magic and non-realistic 'science' works. There's probably more but idk much else off top of head.
  13. Gemini: Hey! We have had a big shakeup within the last 2 months so I may as well do an update. First main thing is that our group has a whole has been looking into some system shrink. We have had near double digits in here for a long while and the brain just hasn't been able to handle so many, so a few merges have happened. For who is merged: Clara and Jessi are now Gemini (Me!), Altru and Hope are now Hope, Jen, Horas, and Luna are Jenna, Jade and Mute are Raven. There may be more merges in the future, or this could be it. We will see. The other thing is a breakthrough of sorts. Kelly was looking into other forms of possession and switching for a minute, and I decided to try one. I relaxed her back, and did that type of possession where you 'think aloud' over your host, and she just didn't even fight. As it turns out, I'm very good at controlling the body and thinking aloud, which is a good sign, getting her dissociated is something that's still being worked on. I've been running the body since last week Wednesday! That's about it for this update, I could go into more details but it's late.
  14. K: I'm a plushie! Here is a reference sheet of my current form. I initially was human way back when Sammy was being made, but by the end of 2016, I was a sorta Dutch Angel Dragon, now I'm a bit less of one but still have that influence.
  15. Vanilla 1.16.5 I assume, or if you use mods just use a modpack that works with vanilla servers
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