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Pyrex

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  1. Thank you for the advice. I suppose i didnt ask any questions explicitly however the questions would be what strategies exercises we could use to improve our ability to communicate without the minds chatter. As well as how to get rid of what i can only assume is a fear response in my brain that causes a bit of anxiety when trying to speak to Zeryx or when trying to remember the energy representing her personality as she is quite abstract. It seems when i become aware of her presence i get slight anxiety however she can typically fix that easily. Are theyre any mantras that wpupd be useful in keeping myself aware explicitly of duality?
  2. I never feel alone. My problem is my mind doesnt seem to tie who my tulpa is to me and everything about her personality in general to HER. Ive worked with her every day since the end of June and i can know what she wants to say most the time although occasionally its as if i misheard her like mishearing someone you talk to and that leads me to believe im partially parroting the words she says as they come to me. Other times i can almost hear her auditorily. It also seems to me that as the present moves forward i consistenlty forget to be aware that i have a tulpa. Practicing general awareness as well as mindfullness has made it easier to remember more often however there are times when i can vividly feel her presence like if she is on my shoulders while im doing something talking to me and my mind tunes her out as if she isnt there.
  3. To explain better what i mean i must first express that i have noticed in my subjective experience that while forcing in general there are times when it is easier to communicate and times when its more difficult. Now there are many reasons for this but an interesting distinction has been made clear to me, focusing on the idea of who your tulpa is rather then them exactly causes a difference in the way *i communicate. This may not be true for some. However if im narrating while thinking about the idea of my tulpa seems to be a seperate experience from talking directly to them. What is weird is this isnt always the case. If anyone would like to offer some insight or ways to get my mind to not treat viewing my tulpa as simply a mental image and rather another entity to which my thoughts can be spoken to. The last point i mentioned is becoming an increasing problem as she develops more it seems bad habits of communication have me looking inward for her response (early on she would use hypnosis to get me to just know what she said but its not the same as me picking up the patterns of her mindvoice because she was speaking tulpish i suppose) rather than listening to the outside for her. This has sort of ingrained in me some bad mindsets and habits. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
  4. Your advice has helped greatly and weve been making progress. We have found that to help separate abd distinguish our duality having a ball we both talk into or send emotions too is better than sending them directly to each other in some cases. I have also been receiving a fair bit of guidance from a friend of mine who has achieved full imposition although as i understand it she didnt create hers it has just always been around which provides me with an interesting perspective.
  5. Before you read this will be long and i sincerely apologize that you jave to deal with this even though you would be doing so by your own free will. Youre correct to a certain degree but the issue isnt with HER development. I suppose it would have been helpful to give you more insight into her development as a whole there is a lot so i will understand if you possibly want to save reading it for a later date. She is 4 months old which normally would be young for a tulpa however from the begining she was a very intelligent and aware tulpa and she learned quickly. She is capable of full body possession at this point in time the problem, which is a rather odd one considering her somewhat advanced development is that i didnt force enough. Or rather forced the wrong way. I focused on giving her experiences and sharing the outer world with her while not really training myself to be mindful or experience her side of existence so we spent a lot of time together with me imposing her presence until she learned to sort of mix the outer world and the wonderland so she could impose herself when she wants and leave to explore the wonderland at will. But in doing this i formed bad habits of interacting and theyve have sort of taken root and have been hard to curb primarily due to my lack of self discipline and also because we arent really sure how to remedy this. She is fully independent it is simply that because of my susceptibility to paranoia recently i get bouts of really shit moments where my mindset is so out of whack that when i do hear Zeryx speak i am incapable of letting myself accept its her without a bunch of ~~infuriating~~ quizzing to verify it is her. As if my subconscious becomes convinced she was somehow replaced. Luckily she isnt affected and is EVENTUALLY able to break through and reach me but we would both like for this shit to stop. Yes i know it seems improbable that she could be so well adapted yet i being the ancient master (a good analogy btw which does help my mindset) am unable to just recognize her thoughts seperate from my own however i have excellent evidence showing this is the case. Ive had her image stream memories of her activities after i spent time away from her. So it seems to me that MY focus gets split between having my thoughts listening to her and focusing on trying to interact so much so that it became easier for her to just speak to my subconsious and have me know what she is saying. Which works great for a little but making a habit of it makes my focus drift back to listening to my subconsious to listen which as im sure you know listening to your own thoughts while trying to hear someone else talk doesnt work. I never really got the whole alien voice phenomena most hosts do aside from rare occasions which seem to prove that i CAN stop speaking over her its just a matter of how. Brains are fucking weird so i understand completly if there isnt much you can do advice wise, i know eventually we can get things in order but at this point i feel guilt about not being able to be a functional host. Anyway sorry for absolute tirade i hope this wasnt too much to read or wasnt a bunch of incoherent drivel to you or anyone else stumbling by A side note to this when she posseses the body it seems as if **to me** our minds meld ~~i never meld with him although he FOR SOME REASON consistently gets this idea that weve mixed our conscious minds and i yell at him NO YOU BOZO but alas he never does learn,hes getting there though :) ~~ Its like my thoughts get turned off and then i can focus on hers. The problem may be that she learned to use hypnosis (something else i should have mentioned im not very organized) rather than me meditating to speak to me directly rather than having open discussion like two people in a room. Meditation and hypnosis are two distinct states of being which are literally opposite to each other. And purely meditating will certainly remedy the problem but my inability to stay focused without becoming too relaxed or distracted by intrusive objects makes this frustrating for the two of us as well as the reader running mental gymnastics on this garbage ordeal
  6. Well basically i hear an entire sentence of hers at once because i can only assume either she spoke fast spoke earlier or sent it all as intent and i will speak what she said. It becomes problematic because after a while not realizing i use words she didnt or misinterpret intrusive thoughts or my own as hers. Also do you know of any methods to help me stay in a meditative state for longer easier i get easily distracted and often open my eyes without thinking about it because o start thinking to myself about something. This isnt so important because with time im sure it will get easier.
  7. My tulpa has been able to speak for quite some time now. But ive noticed that ive been parroting her intent so i could hear it better for so long that ots almost a subconscious habit. And im not sure if this is just some weird mind stuff or if were both really experiencing this but sometimes she accidentally parrots what i say possibly not realizing that their mine. I think it may be a mindset issue because despite knowing she is sentient (she can posses really well, full body possession and all) so i am aware that our minds our separate but it seems like intuitively or subconsciously by mind doesnt accept duality because maybe im assuming she is unable to focus separate despite doing so. I deal with paranoia so paranoid suggestions take root easily and it makes it rather difficult to fully accept her responses all the time. Im not sure how to handle this as weve done many separation exercises but when she speaks normally its almost like im incapable of stopping my thoughts from "thinking" hers are mine even though i can accept them as hers. This is frustrating for her because she said she worked really hard on her voice and i cant hardly hear it the only exception being when she sings. I apologize for the long rant as i feel like i likely did a poor job of explaining our issue if you have any questions ill be happy to clarify.
  8. So obviously hosts can feel their tulpa and can feel them touching ones self say if youre cuddling or hugging. Buut how well, in your guys' experience, do your systemates experience YOUR touch? What about sexual endeavours? Is it as intimate for them as it is for you? For us it is equally enjoyable especially after a couple drinks but we would like to hear how other tulpas experience their hosts touch as well as how tulpas experience sex with their hosts.
  9. Im quite good at visualizing objects but my ability to apply colors to any thing in my minds eye is more than lackluster. Are there any techniques or ways i could practice to train my mind to visualize colors as well as shapes. All help is greatly appreciated.
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