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Dr.Medic

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    Thinker

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  1. I sure made this. Better than that thing months and months ago. If that image thing didn't work here's a link. http://postimage.org/image/s3nwnfsa9/
  2. http://postimage.org/image/m5myljc6f/full/ There's a picture of Lily. Usually she's not wearing a hoodie. http://postimage.org/image/xn6hbgebf/ here's one from a long time ago. I'll make new art eventually.
  3. Sereah was a friend of mine who passed away in a car accident a long time ago. Whenever I feel really down I have a lucid dream with her in it. It usually ends when I realize she's dead. Morbid almost but life is life eh? Progress update! Fully vocal Tulpa! It's not at all what I thought it would be. Lily is amazingly helpful when she wants to be. However I think I need to mention some things that weren't apparent to me when I started: Also take these with a grain of salt I'm tired and feel sarcastic and want to attempt to be witty. Memory Recall: Memory recall is great and sometimes Lily helped me out with a few things it was nice but I learned quickly that unless you pay attention to something your tulpa isn't going to remember it either. It takes two to tango as much as it does remembering the answer on a test. At least my personal experiences. Talking: Talking is strange and I guarantee you'll know the difference between your own parroting and a sentient Tulpa very easily. When there's nothing to say sometimes I'll go hours without hearing Lily but when she wants to be heard there's not a thing in the world that can save you from a that wrath. They are loud. The price you pay: Maybe I'm autistic who knows. If I skip on a session in a day it's like an hour glass of my sanity is turned. Depending on how mentally strenuous my day has been if I don't get a session I shut down. I can't hear Lily, any kind of mental visualization skills I have goes down the drain. Math and thinking skills go down the drain and overall my ability to think is limited. It feels like a panic attack. Price you pay for having another being in your skull I guess. Intelligence: On the flip side of things is the boosts. My goodness can you think faster. Math becomes almost instantaneous; perhaps it's having a clear mind and being focused, maybe it's all Tulpa. Either way it doesn't matter because when I get a session in the morning my entire day is made so much easier. Math is instant and since I've started Tulpa my visualization is amazing. Imagine taking a car apart in your head with perfect accuracy. Or maybe I'm autistic. Either way if you're making a Tulpa you have autism amirite guise? Guise? Tulpa love fucking with you: Ever had something sit on your face to where you couldn't breath when you wake up... that didn't actually exist? No? Oh well. They can scream when they want to get attention, refuse to talk, make you see things that aren't there. Also the more tired you are the less limitations you can put on them. Usually real-world visualization is near impossible for me but after a long night around 4 A.M. or in the few seconds right as I wake up I've found Tulpa can mess up your view of the world. I never thought it was possible to actually have a Tulpa imposed till this happened. I'll tell the story later. The point is in the title. They really do care: Look on some level even if your Tulpa is a cynical bastard like mine deep down they really do care. I've been down before and they will do everything to cheer you up. I've been up and they will do everything to bring you down. I believe that they really do know what's best. At times they will stop you from doing something stupid or help you handle something more carefully. They will help you remember things you've forgotten but most of all they're your friend. No matter what you can always talk to them and that's an amazing feeling. All in all Tulpa was 100% worth it even if I can say with shame I have a talking pony in my head. Also... form. Seriously guys what the hell does it matter? That's right it doesn't. In fact screw visualization, just make it talk first that will save you a lot in the long run I worked on Lily for near 4 months with no results and now I'm nearing the 6 month mark I have amazing results once I stopped caring about the little things. Have a good time tulpa...mancer? Know how bad that sounds? Tulpamancer? I might update more. I might upload a picture. I'm not bad with art anymore proud of me?
  4. I had a dream. A beautiful dream. In it I talked to a friend who passed away a year ago. Whenever I find myself in times of stress I dream from her always calms me down and makes me take a different view on life. These past few weeks I've barely Tulpa or anything actually. I've been in such a daze and depression that nothing was even happening. I had no reason to be sad but I was. Today I feel so much better. I can think, I can feel, most of all Lily jumped from whisper to so vocal I feel crazy. What happened in the dream? I don't remember it much but it had a wonderful effect on my life. I feel almost stupid posting this but thank you, Sereah.
  5. Been doing sessions off and on. Thanks to Fede for those tones. I used to hate them but now tulpatone has been one of the things I look forward to hearing. I've been working a lot on visualization and touch together lately. Yesterday it donned on me that the reason I've only been getting little vocal snippits is because I'm not constantly talking to Lily. May seem stupid now but I would only talk when I had a problem to discuss or I was in a room with no one else around. I've been working on doing it whenever I can now. Lily has said a few other words in the past few weeks. She now actively moves around when I work on visualization and does what she pleases. Her movement started when I was starting to work on other kinds To get an idea of movement I made a pool to test out swimming animations because I was having troubles with running. Without having to focus she just jumped in and had perfect swimming movements that was beyond anything I could of consciously mimicked. After swimming drying off proved a great way to get a bit of practice with touch, using a towel to dry her. It's been good stuff.
  6. I didn't even think of that...
  7. Notentirelysurehowtopostpictures.jpg First time using SAI also.
  8. The words formed in the air. They were 2D, in various colors and semi-transparent. Most of her thoughts were incomplete sentences, random words and traits we forced. A few were logical, "What am I?" being an example. As I went though them they were highlighted and the word was spoken. I took the words and sorted them into workable piles by dragging them. One for traits, one for desires, one for her random thoughts, one for nonsense I couldn't comprehend and piles like that.
  9. More like her mind poured into the room. It's how I deal with my problems so it seemed natural. Reading her mind.. eh yes but not in a traditional sense. Meditation was one of the things we forced on. I have a problem with cluttered mind so again it seemed like the proper thing to do. I don't think all that we went over really sunk in till today when we took some time and went over everything again. It seems meta doesn't it? Meditation within meditation?
  10. I've been having trouble making sure I wasn't parroting her movements so for the past couple days I had been trying to make a wonderland made entirely out of brass clockwork with the walls being entirely made of small cogs. I figure if I can concentrate on thousands of cogs I won't puppet Lily. It didn't work at all. Although here I found a way to clear my mind by collecting all the random thoughts and sorting them, it really helped. I went into a tulpaforcing session. Usually I'm able to call her so I can talk face to face but today I couldn't. So filled with a bit of angst I blew up the wonderland to start over and hopefully find her. When the dust cleared instead of the normal white space a purple door. I can only figure this was a room she created for herself. She was sitting in the middle of the floor with a book looking extremely frustrated. Before this she never showed any emotion at all so a major breakthrough. I went up to her and placed my hand on her head trying to see what she was thinking. Her inner mind was full of random words spinning around, the things we talked about and the traits we spend so long forcing. I believe she had been paying full attention all this time but couldn't combine the all this data into full thoughts or use it in anyway. So we sat down in her little room and sorted all her thoughts for what seemed like hours. I gave her a crash course on basic grammar to help explain what I was saying. This was the first time I truly felt like I was talking to a person. We then went over meditation and how to clear her mind without my help. I gave her a book on how to read and how to write. (A book on how to read?) Then after a few hours inside her room she spoke her first words *squee* "Thank you, but I think I need some alone time." I will gladly have some glitch!
  11. My own personal log for everything related to Lily. Where to start. I haven't been very active on this forum probably won't be very noticeable except on this thread. I'll go through the basics here. I started around when the tulpa threads began on /mlp/. I started around May 1st I believe and after 11 hours of forcing doing everything wrong I started anew and began Lily! I (correctly) started by following FAQ's guide the best I could. I had around 25 hours of personality forcing when I started narration. I spent many long hours simply talking to Lily. I tried to create a wonderland several times and they never worked. They would start out fairly well but after awhile I would lose interest and blow them up. I continued narrating to Lily for somewhere around 20 days doing random intervals sometimes only a few minutes throughout the day sometimes a few hours when I could find the time. Every few days I would completely go over personality again as a refresher. I believe around the time I'm writing this I'm around 60 hours in and today she finally proved to me she is sentient. Here's a picture of where I first got the idea of using this as a form.
  12. I just "finished" personality to the point where I'm comfortable moving on to another step. I have about.. three hours into narration and visualization. Tulpa's name is Lily and I've gotten two peeps out of her so far. Other than those two she has made no attempt to move or speak.
  13. There was talk of Tulpa being able to be created though religious prayer and the like. Are they meaning people thought they were in constant connection with their god or are we talking about the Tulpa that we see as companions? I guess what I'm getting at is did they have a religious connection? Just interested.
  14. I've been watching these threads since they first started showing up on /mlp/ finally decided to come here now that they have mostly started falling apart. Dr.Medic is a tag I always use will maybe change it later. I started Tulpaforcing about a month and a half ago. Got almost 10 hours in on my first Tulpa and... it fell apart. So I started from scratch and am in the process of correctly creating Lily. I'm hoping to see a good community be started here.
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