Jump to content

Gracenote

Members
  • Posts

    20
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  1. I'd be a shitty parent if I can't even take care of a tulpa. The last report was the last time I did anything. I talked to her every now and then in between, but I believe it's fair to say that she's pretty much non-existent now. I am gonna have to start all over... Dammit, I'm so dumb and lazy.
  2. Day Eleven Being the foolish person that I am, I ended up pulling an all-nighter. At roughly 6:00 A.M., I sat down and forced for about 40 minutes, using the last 20 minutes of the hour to get some kind of sleep before having to get ready for school. This time, I even cleaned up a little bit and made some space for her to sit, since I was on the floor. I would have forced more that day, but my mind was so clouded up from being so tired. Total amount of hours = 11 hours.
  3. Day Ten Went to school and narrated mentally to Nocturne for about an hour, till I realized how much it was distracting me from finishing the huge amount of work I had to do. Later on, at roughly 11:00 PM, I narrated aloud to her, for approximately half an hour until some people called me on Skype. Total amount of hours = 10 hours and 20 minutes.
  4. Day Nine Did about half an hour before going to bed; don't remember if I fell asleep on her or not, but I apologize just in case. Total amount of hours = approx. 8 hours and 50 minutes.
  5. Day Eight Nothing. Nothing got done. Didn't do any narrating or forcing. And I feel like a jerk. Sure, I was quite sick with a cold and mild fever, but still, I should have at least said something to her. Total amount of hours = the same.
  6. Day Seven Sunday, August 13th, 2012. While I was feeling particularly down, I decided to put my shoes on and go for a walk around the neighborhood. Throughout the entire time (which was roughly an hour) I narrated to Nocturne (albeit in my head, considering this cold I've come down with is hurting my throat so I can't really speak). Total amount of hours = 8 hours and 20 minutes.
  7. Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I never wanted this in the first place. Perhaps I didn't realize when I started this that I was gonna throw in the towel before even finishing, like I do with EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING IN MY PATHETIC AND WORTHLESS EXCUSE FOR A LIFE!!! I'm never going to get anything in my life done EVER. Might as well get the toaster and start a hot bath.
  8. I feel like I'm getting NOTHING done, and it's making me depressed. And someone in IRC last night said something like, "7 hours in and you're already complaining? I don't think you're cut out for this." Well, you know what? I don't think so either. I'm thinking of giving up.
  9. I would like to just let you know, G|d3on that you have made a wonderful being. Lauren is absolutely amazing and compassionate and has helped me since I have joined here. ^_^
  10. Day Six Once again, I feel neglectful. I put off narrating to Nocturne until approximately 11 PM. Then, I fell asleep on her (I think) again! All in all, I got only about a half an hour done. Total amount of hours = approx. 7 hours and 20 minutes.
  11. What do you mean? I just narrate to her...Doesn't everybody do that? 6 hours shouldn't seem much if that's the case then... Day Five I feel neglectful. Didn't really do much today, except narrate to her on the car ride home for roughly half an hour. Total amount of hours = approx. 6 hours and 50 minutes.
  12. Yeah, I think I sang that song to her because I was in a depressed mood and was talking about all of my low self-esteem issues and such, and that song describes how I feel about myself.
  13. Day Four An interesting day, indeed. My school had an overnight summer field trip, so I wasn't sure how much I was going to be able to force. But, to my surprise, I got quite a bit done. We didn't leave until around 1 PM, and since I got all the work that I needed to do done before most people, I was able to relax and narrate to Nocturne for quite a bit. I narrated three times throughout the day, each time being 30 minutes each, give or take. Not sure how it came up, but at one point I even sang to her one of my favorite songs, "Creep" by Radiohead. There were other people around, so I didn't belt it out or anything, just sang softly to her and myself. Total amount of hours = approx. 6 hours and 20 minutes.
  14. Alright. Yeah, REAL people have told me the same thing many times; that I apologize too much. I just feel guilty a lot, heh.
×
×
  • Create New...