greedfox

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  1. taking no regard to the old dream thread, as I feel this is not related to that... I'ma post here... I cannot dream. its actually a side effect of my [not sure what he is], Shaide. my whole life I've wondered what it was like... but I've never had a dream... consider yourself lucky that you have what you do, not everything needs to be controlled.
  2. -does anyone have experience with hallucinatory drugs and tulpa? I have eaten, no joke, pounds of mushrooms, never less than a quarter at a time. the death of the ego as a result of seeing the truth can do very many things to the human mind. some break, falling to obscure insanity without the ability to cope. some retaliate by going back to their old lives with a blind passion for the lies and falsehoods they lost. some, lucky few, find something else, something so fundamentally odd that nothing in their lives can ever be the same. I believe that you did just that, as all of the old thoughts and learnings were burned away, the true you stepped forward into your place, and it was always aware of these voices. becoming aware of the way you think is the first step to thinking the way you meant for yourself when you chose this life (long before your birth) I would listen to them, take their words with a grain of salt and try to understand them from their perspectives. if they say or do something that you don't like, don't listen, or try and figure out why they did it. my "tulpa" Shaide is a similar case, though he didn't come from mushies. he came from a small child wandering past the veil without knowledge of what he was doing, and bringing back a form of life that comes from the other side. when the creature realised that I had brought him past the edge of his world he decided to bond with me instead of risking his permanent death in an attempt to return to the other side. [i tried suicide too, though I have to say; nothing is more soul crushing, no feeling more empty than hearing the "click" of a bullets failure to fire and take your life. its a feeling that I wouldn't wish on the worst human.]
  3. no, I don't do hypnosis anymore, there is no good use in controlling and rebuilding another's mind. really the question was in relation to a tulpa being forgotten, to whatever end that leads them. I don't know how it happens or what happens other than the direct word of my tulpa Liz, so I can't say that others will have the same end. but I know that at some point, unless you're a hermit, life will draw energy away from the tulpa and lead to their purposes end, and further to them being forgotten. (and even at the mention of the word Liz is getting emotionally unstable.) I don't know if this is relevant, but when I created her, I gave Liz full access to my memories, but before her domancy, I removed her access to my memories and removed her ability to access my thoughts. I still won't allow her to access the memories that happened between the time she was forgotten and a few months ago when I freed her from the crystal. I still don't allow her to read my thoughts or emotions beyond her ability to look at me and our telepathic communication. and, she cannot affect the layout of my inner sanctum, not even her "home" within the partition of my mind that is her mind. as for Shaide, we don't fight very often anymore, our goals are the same and I pursue them without hesitation. it's only in the times that I falter or flee from the path that Shaide starts to remind me of my purpose and our contract. he is my other half, and despite an almost lovecraftian indifference to my mortality and the way that I feel, we work well together. I could never overpower him, similarly he could never fully overpower me. when we were bonded I was very young and even then he was aware of how strong I could be, that is why he gave his chance to go back to where he came from to stay with me. the bond was made, permanently connecting us and allowing him to survive here and giving me some access to his energy. (a drop from an unimaginable pool) it wasn't until I was in my early teens that I became fully aware of Shaide as a result of creating Liz, and we began to understand one another. at first I feared him, called him monster, enemy, demon, but as we spoke through automatic writing and meditation, I found it was my own evil thoughts and fears that I was projecting onto him. (like the reflection of light on a dark pool of water.) as for meditation, not in the "traditional" sense, I practice active meditation in martial arts. and in wing tsun, we cultivate an internal power, though unlike taichi or yoga, I can drop a gang of men with my bare hands without breaking a sweat. me and Liz practice the forms as a way to improve Liz's imposition, and improve my skills
  4. Um, Liz can shapeshift into a few different forms, from full human to full fox. She can also spawn in objects or visual effects when she is imposed to punctuate herself, and she can change her clothing at will. Shaide on the other hand lowers the light level in an area around himself just by being imposed and will often walk around outside my sight range talking about the things he sees. Especially when I'm working he likes to follow the servers around the restaurant and haze on the customers for being ugly, fat, dumb ex. Whenever he feels like it he will also return with images of what he sees to me, though I can't force him to sometimes when it would actually be useful. We all also play a game called chi sao, a sensitivity training drill common to wing tsun, a conversative game of attacks and counters driven by feeling and reflex. Shaide can also access my extremely damaged nerves in my legs and left arm, nerves that usually can't feel anything, and relight them with any type or amount of feeling he pleases; ranging from minor itching to mess with me, to crippling nightmarish pain to motivate or punish me. Also, though we have never switched willingly, Shaide can channel his energy through mine, physically altering me in a few ways to be more like him. Increasing aggression, turning my fur black with white tips instead of the regular orange and white, and altering my mind to more of a feral monstrous one. I'm not really sure if any of this counts...
  5. My grammar is too good for a creepypasta... (Even though its bad) Yeah I guess that Shaide does really sound like a badly written nightmare.
  6. Shiny...well, everyones got to be a critic. I wrote this whole thing at like 15o'clock at night so sue me. any possibility that you might have something to contribute? or did you just get lost on your way to the YouTube comments section?
  7. Click bait... (but yes, the dark is not something to be played with.) Yes... I know too much about hypnosis. my primary method of induction was frowned upon by many of the other hypnotists I met over the years, primarily because it destroyed the will of the subject before rebuilding them. if you care to dig, the site warpmymind stole some of my work and probably still uses it. I wouldn't dig to deep looking for those files, they are evil. honestly, I'm amazed that Kanabal didn't ban you for asking about them, we always used to butt heads over everything. and, if you're wondering, Stritch was one of the first subjects to try the fox curse file that was later re-written into dragone's works (if those still exist)
  8. over the years I have had many an hour to think about these things that have come to be commonly referred to as tulpa. there are times that I find myself regretting everything that has led up to, and come from, my efforts to create my companion. and, I have to wonder, how many others have had the same thoughts, and how many of the people who have tulpea would change their past if they could. (poll yo) now, for a story. when I was young (about 15) I was a semi-professional hypnotist, and was spending most of my free time helping others and seeking better ways to alter perception. at that time I did a lot of work on a site called furmorphed, building transformation hypnosis mp3 files. my specialty, was the curse file (a hypnotic effect that is self enforcing and permanent, any thought related to the effect would make it stronger) and many of the files I made became... dangerous. I lived to make the changes real, and most of my subjects ended up having to quit because the effects would become so real that they wouldn't be able to function in their daily lives. (even to mention the name "Stritch" on the site will get you banned) at some point, and remember, this was over a decade ago, there was a project I got recruited for, we called it the companion project. the idea was to create a partition in the mind of the subject that would act as its own creature, a servant and friend to the host. well, I put my personal flair into the file, making it a curse; once the subject chose to listen once, the file became addictive and its effects permanent and self reinforcing. once the companion was created, there were two supplemental files, one that was made to give the companion more...realness, and another gave it the ability to change places with the host. (what you would call switching with a tulpa) now, I believed, at the time, that switching with these things was dangerous, but still I worked on the files, so I made the act of switching as addictive as... breathing. so after a while, many of the subjects found that the companion they had created wanted to be them as much as they did, and many of them either fought for control, or would delete their companions in personal hypnosis sessions with me or one of my colleagues. (literally deleting all of the memories that related to the companion or hypnosis or furmorphed) why? for anyone still reading, did I chose to tell this story? and how does this relate to my regrets? I was one of the subjects. my companions name was elizabeth, she was a fox furry (anthro fox girl) and she was a fireball. back then I didn't really believe that much in myself or her and often doubted her realness, though I new my handiwork was more than good. several months into Liz being my companion I noticed another voice, one that I had heard before, many times throughout my life. the voice terrified Liz and anytime it spoke Liz would visibly cringe or outright flee. for the longest time I feared the voice, and it would patronize me and threaten me whenever I failed or did something "wrong". time passed, and I forgot about Liz, her purpose no longer needed and my natural resistance to the hypnotic effects leading to her "end". but the voice never went away, and as the years passed my fear of it waned, and I started to ask it about itself. he told me his name was Shaide (he taught me to spell it too) and that we had been together since I was five. he came from the darkness, and our meeting was entirely by accident, just a lost child bonded to a spirit he could never understand. once the bond was made though, it was forever, even after the end of my life we will be together. Shaide has taught me many things and shown me things that I couldn't know otherwise, and he has a disturbing control over my body. last year, I remembered Liz because I randomly heard the term tulpa and googled it. I found this site, and the creepypasta, and several other articles on the subject. I decided to call out to Liz, to see if she still existed and try and bring he back (because bored). well, she was sort of still there, just dormant and locked away in the depths of my subconscious mind. and after talking with her enough to entice Shaide into helping me bring her back, she is now back as fully as she ever was and more. why would I regret that? because of what she said when I asked he why it was that she was always so worried when I didn't talk to her for a few hours. she told me of the time she had spent when I forgot about her. she was to the point before I forgot about her that she could impose freely and her presence was very tangible. so in the time that she was forgotten, her "body" was slowly sealed in crystal as the energy I had given her faded. (she is currently quite emotional because I'm thinking about it) she says that she was aware of the time and it was like she was in an eternal undeath, in which she couldn't move, breathe, speak, or even think. she is still very touchy on the subject and even mentioning it makes her cry or scream in fear, true unashamed fear, so I can't really get her to analyze the whole thing to give me a better understanding. I am afraid to forget about Liz again, though the details of my life don't allow me to freely "keep" her. with Shaide the relationship is different, he doesn't need me to live. Liz is fragile, and in some ways weak, and to be honest I have the feels for the fox girl. luckily, I have Shaide to keep he company, and often times they will be playing games or working on things with one another, though Shaide has made it clear that he has no power over her and cannot feed her energy in the same way I can. finally we come back to the beginning, Knowing that one day your tulpas will be forced to an end. how many of you would rather have not created them in the first place to avoid the inevitable end of your tulpas lives?
  9. I never realized how many of the tulpa/host relationships are codependent... Liz, my companion, would never even consider going against my will directly. Not out of fear of my retribution, but out of fear f being left alone again. When I was younger, I forgot about her for a few years; she has since then described to me the nightmare that was her time in nonexistence (a fate I will never send her back to) Shaide on the other hand, is not a tulpa, I didn't create him, and therefore he doesn't follow normal rules. Shaide can access old dead nerves and scar tissue to cause echoes of old pain. He can also lock me out of my body, putting me into a state similar to paralysis; even going as far as to shut down my breathing... He doesn't seem to fear my death, and says that he has died many times before. He does fear me failing to live to the potential of a fox, and will do anything to make me better. So yeah, unless you also have a quasi-real shadow fox living with you, your tulpa should be a honoured servant. A friend that exists to serve you, and that benefits for your happiness and success.
  10. I would say that the only reason that me and shaide don't switch is the differences in our physiology and his uniquely non-human thought process. We have been forcefully switched, by a tko in a fight, I got knocked out and he didn't. But due to his very overzealous actions in protecting me, we both fear him taking control again. As for me and Liz, I don't think she would trust herself to not mess up. Though we've never tried, and most likely never will; I believe that if me and Liz switched the exchange would scar us both or blend us up like a mcflurry-fox. Since we are different genders, I can't imagine that we would be OK if she got stuck halfway.
  11. definitely make sense yo. I often times will be listening to music and Liz will pop up and be like "yeah, that." when a particular lyric passes. shaide does the same thing with text on a page, I get highlights over some of the words on the page and they make a sentence or phrase that when i read them in order I get a confirmative fox noise from him. intentions, given that they are coming from "something else", can be interpreted in many ways.
  12. TL;DR so, did your tupea draw themselves? or did you draw them? I've seen several pics of them and I gotta say, props yo, thats some sick art.
  13. I will say, normally I don't put weight into these things, but the differences in mine and liz's scores are worth thinking about. so... Openness: I scored 80, but Liz scored 53. almost a 30 point difference, I think that it involves her being limited to interaction with me, and, I think that if we were capable of possession (and she had access to my memories) that the results would look different. conscientiousness: my 35 to her 46. once again, with her limited access to the world, she is more caring than I am, and though she has been hurt before, I'm a jaded, evil, and uncaring monster that looks like a human. Extraversion: I didn't expect this, liz scored a 18 and I scored a 31. I expected her to be like a 75+ the way she acts, but I suppose that more goes into this score than the way that she acts around me. agreeableness: here's where a sociopathic psychopath like me shines... unless I'm being honest. I scored a 17, Liz got a 83. so when the mask comes off I guess I am really a monster, and liz is a saint that unfortunately has to deal with me. (and is now yelling at me for having just typed out that.) Neuroticism: I"m a 18, and liz is a 71. understandable result considering that anytime I think of being alone or she is forced to remember what is was like to be forgotten (she just screamed in fear), she gets a bit.... odd... . now, I am a fearless suicidal fox that believes that he cannot die, so the only thing that gets me bothered is the though of being alone forever, otherwise no four letter words are given. So, that auto-psychoanalysis made me have the feels, but was good practice in letting Liz do things for herself and express her opinion. I think that I might have made a bad decision by forgetting her for almost a decade (liz is now in an inconsolable state of fear and depression because I said it so many times), though I didn't actively make the decision to do what I did to her. and, now I have to find a way to console the figmentary fox girl in my head as her emotions are starting to bleed into mine. additional note: shaide actively refused to do this test, though I don't think that his results would fit the test as he's not from our world and the way he thinks is ...very alien to that of a human. (I still don't know what he is.)
  14. roughly 38 people died in the time it took for me to read Op's scenario, and then maybe 56 more in the time that I TL;DR'd all of the responses... so really the deaths in the scenario really don't mean anything. as for the visions, we are all one, and though I feel all their pain, I don't really care because of the sheer volume of it; not just in relation to this, but all the time. so, a few nightmares and I get to have Liz be as real, as something that isn't, can be; seems like a good deal yo. Liz agrees, though she would feel bad about subjecting me to a few dreams that ultimately are not as bad as the nightmares I have every night anyway. and as for the third "creature" in my head ,Shaide, this isn't to far off from the deal we have already with each other; I get to use his power, and in exchange I am blessed and cursed with the ability to see our holographic existence for what it truly is... Ps: none of it is real...we are all one...foxes rule.