Drakaina

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About Drakaina

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    Female
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    Michigan
  • Bio
    When I was a teenager I accidentally created my first tulpa, named Xira. I had no idea thought forms could ever be sentient, and was wrestling with coming to terms with my nonhuman identity as well; so I created and interacted with her in so her in such a way that she turned out mentally unstable, and inclined towards sociopathic thinking.
    I mistook her even later for a headmates, a facet of myself embodying rage, and tried to explain it as a median plural system.
    Eventually I had to separate myself from her, for the sake of my own mental health.

    I am now finally learning about tulpa from a real community dedicated to them, and I want to get it right this time. I've made a tulpa because I miss that companionship I had with Xira, but I need it to be a positive, uplifting relationship. I want a true friend...in my head. (〜 ̄▽ ̄)〜

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  1. Please ban my account for 1 month. (For the curious like me, health reasons need to be addressed and .info is a distraction.)
  2. .....can I hug you for this. Doesn't matter. I'm gonna anyway! On topic thought. I'm assuming when you're tulpa interacts with you, you acknowledge her. The idea behind my, "ignore them" bit was more like completely ignoring them. Once a thought form is developed, yeah you don't need to actively feed them attention anymore, but there does still need to be some interaction.
  3. Not as hinged on it, but I have yet to see anyone express that, "oh yeah, you can just ignore your tulpa and they'll stick around". There is always some sort of attention or recognition, everywhere you look on this forum "tulpa feed on attention", it's undeniable that this factor is a key part in tulpa existence. It should go without saying that if something becomes dangerous that it should be stopped, whether it's an activity or a life. However, if in the case of a tulpa, which is supposed to be a sentient life form with cognitive abilities then responsibility does fall on the host (being the older, more experienced of the two) for the inability to reach a peaceful resolution. I don't chalk up dreaming to be anything, science does. Tulpa could carry over into dreams, but that would be because they're already on your mind a lot. It's pre-loaded to insert your tulpa (or an impression you have of them) into your dream. That's what makes them similar situations as opposed to identical ones. Technically everything in the brain is inward and uses similar processes. Is my love of cheddar but hate of cream cheese also a double standard? They both use the same senses and processes. I never said the host maintained dominion over the body. I said they were hard wired into the brain, and thus couldn't dissipate. Anyone who's had a tulpa take control by force will tell you that the host doesn't always have ultimate control. If a host were to choose to give up the front, I suspect their ability to control the body would atrophy just like any other unused skill. Correct, that is what I'm saying. In a developed system a host can keep things from their tulpa, and the tulpa can keep things from their host. They share grey matter but are still for all intents and purposes are separate individuals. Deviations are common among this forum, is it really such a stretch to think that a tulpa may have a preference, quirk, or other deviation the host doesn't know about? They don't have to be otherworldly for there to be unique elements to them the host may not know about. People learn new things about themselves every day...themselves. If people can not know things about themselves it's absurd to think they can know everything about someone else, even if they do share a brain.
  4. Ok, at a computer now, so I'm relatively sure I won't be losing my response this time (unless windows 10 is a bigger d**k than I thought. >_>) I'll be answering the questions, since it's easier to keep my mind on track and form responses in shorter forms. To start off though I had to address this. While not as violent or dramatic as a shooting or stabbing or many other things, dying of starvation is still dying. This depends entirely on how evolved/developed a tulpa is. There is no solid benchmark for this but I think we can all agree that there is a point in their development in which a tulpa becomes more than just a thought to the host, and takes on that life of it's own. Earlier on, it would just be a loss of novelty. Some newbie decides to quit when they realize tulpa forcing involves actual work; nothing is lost here, it's just another fad hopper who got bored and moved on. I'm not as familiar with stasis as I could be, but it's really all about the intent. Someone who's put a tulpa in stasis then questions waking them up, to me it's like dissipating without calling it what it is. Instead of committing to it, you're letting the tulpa die of starvation in the cryo pod so you don't have to own up to it. I'm afraid I don't understand this question. It sounds like you're asking "why is the above even a thing?" In which case I have no clue. Personal issues, lack of maturity, lack of responsibility, there could be many reasons. I believe tulpa can believe they feel pain (if they were taught/given that experience). So is the phantom pain of an amputee real? I think the amputee would say yes, in which case, tulpa pain would also be real. I don't know if they would feel pain, it might depend on the method or visualization used for dissipation, but I think it's possible out of a fear reaction. Regarding the analogies though, I use them not to imply pain in dissipation but to emphasize the lack of responsibility on the part of the host (parent). You can't choose not to wake up, you can however choose to make a tulpa. The former is created by random firings of the brain based on what it needs to process and what you've been feeding it lately. The latter involves time, attention, and conscious effort (even accidental tulpa, the host put effort into making them as a person, they just didn't intend them to come alive). There is no double standard, the two aren't the same. I don't think the analogies are "too extreme". I think the severity of them actually helps more than hurts in that it steers most people away from the idea of copping out of the responsibility they took on when they created a living being. I also don't think it's ever wrong to be more considerate out of caution than to risk actually hurting another being. Whether tulpa feel pain or not, I don't know for sure, but I think it's better to act on the assumption that they do than to be wrong, in this case. I don't think the host mind can "die", the brain is their hardware, they are hard coded into it. I do think they could do a sort of permanent switch with their tulpa, and live in the headspace while the tulpa run's the body. This one I think I can speak with some experience on, having dissipated a tulpa in the past, and had traits try to resurface in my current one. It's either guilt making them subconsciously compensate for their old tulpa, or the fact that they spent enough time with said old tulpa that those patterns left an impression on the brain, so it just goes there. It could be one or both of these things. I'm going to quote AGGuy to supplement my answer to this one.
  5. I loved Triela... The similarity may just be a case of six face syndrome. Anime in particular has a huge problem with characters all looking more or less the same. XP
  6. (*cries* I had a very thought out post that took forever to write, then my mobile restarted and I lost it all. I'll rewrite it tomorrow when I can use my computer. T.T)
  7. Proto-tulpa... This makes me want to see Melian in Protoman cosplay. >.> I had a small feeling you'd be back. You're a bit like me, a creature of habit, and this is your stalking ground. X3
  8. I will be indoors where it's cold. All summer. I would say I don't like heat but that's an understatement, I end up being reduced to a pitiful sprawl on the floor once the temperature hits 80 fahrenheit. I can't say I have any specific tulpa related goals, not for summer anyway. Just more narrating and encouraging vocalization. I guess I have the tentative goal of trying to get parallel processing started at least by the end of summer.
  9. Meditation has gotten an image of zen and quiet minds, which is really not what it is at all. Our brains have been trained to think and be active for as long as we've been alive. Thinking is what it does. Meditation is more about recognizing that these thoughts happen, but then move on. A focus is a must. Most people use the breath, watching it go in and out, how it feels in the nostrils or your belly as it rises and falls. But you can really use any of your five senses as a focus. Lighting a candle and training your attention on it, or having a stone or some beads you can feel with your hands to ground you, a focus can be almost anything as long as it's a constant in the present, and will bring you into the moment. Here's a document about 22 different kinds of meditation, what they specialize in, and how to do them. I use my meditation as a supplement to my active forcing, using my tulpa (and an object that represents her) as my focus. The mind will wander, there's no avoiding it, so don't beat yourself up for your brain doing what it was made to do. :3
  10. Passive forcing is probably the bane of my existence. I can't be inside and outside of my head at the same time. Narration and forming works takes conscious effort for me, it's not my native (mind) language. I think I've tried just about every memory trick I can find. Putting Isa as my phone's lock screen, so I see it often, tying things to myself like a ribbon on my wrist as a reminder, I set my lucid dreaming reality check reminder tone to the voice that inspired Isa's mind voice so it even sounds kind of like her, but it all results in only brief spurts of attempted passive forcing. You can tell when I'm "passive" forcing because I turn into a zombie on the outside. XP When forcing in general I try to use voice so we can both get more accustomed to using it, but I prefer imagery and visualization. Always in the literal, my husband came up with a phrase that perfectly expressing how I feel about abstract. He said "abstract is politically correct for really f***ed up." Some things do remind me of Isa, like her base fur colour (mint green) is not a permanent association by brain makes with her. I've tried to do scent conditioning, where a smell will bring her to mind. I was using a peppermint eucalyptus blend, but allergy season is a bad time to try anything scent related. I have yet to have success with true passive forcing, but using associated objects/senses seems to help my active forcing a little. Forcing is always easier too when I communicate in what we (the forum/community) call tulpish. Oddly enough the "native" tulpa language is also mine too. ^^;
  11. The tricky part with this is that tulpamancy isn't small or starting out as an online community anymore. It's spread across the net, so even if one forum decides to change the terminology they use, you're not going to get a consensus. It would take a LOT of cross community ambassador work and communication, so that it wasn't just one forum's lingo confusing everyone else, but an actual change in definitions. (Otherkin has the same problem, but over 25 years instead of just 5-10. Just changing the word we use is no where near as easy as it sounds. :P)
  12. I have actively tried not to see it that way, but like you, Zaya, I grew up in a heavily religious family, so it still carries the darker connotations from growing up in that religious culture. There aren't really any substitute type words either. It all comes down to that you're letting another being control your body, malevolent or not. :P
  13. I'm not as familiar with eclipsing, but fronting seems like a very apt word for what it's used for. Out of curiosity what would you rename these to if you could?
  14. Even "tulpaforce" isn't much better. It sounds like you either just smooshed the words "tulpa" and "force" together (which has the same problem as "forcing"), or you're talking about some kind of tulpa sentai team. >.> [hidden]Tulpa Sentai, ASSEMBLE!! [/hidden] I like your phrase "personality work", that's more or less how I've referred to it when I'm not speaking to others in the community. I only go back go "forcing" for ease of communication with the community. :P It might be regional, and based on social circles. Among my friends (both classical book fans, and anime otaku) it sets off bells that make them think of the sources I mentioned above. I tend to prefer the plurality terms instead of strictly tulpa community ones, like headspace, and inner world. I adopted my own phrase for it: mind world.
  15. Drakaina

    What's Going On?

    It is though. This is how conversation works. You have the seed topic, eating ice cream with your tulpa, and it evolves and gets branching conversations. There could be a LOT of content and discussion in threads like this. Sure it's not an intellectual discussion, but I agree with you, if intellectual and philosophical is all this forum is, it will drive more people away than it will draw in, and slowly die. Small talk is necessary for forming community and bonding, which is what ultimately what keeps people coming back. It's why World of Warcraft won't die, because "everyone's friends are there".