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About Flandre

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    Lucent Qualia

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    I'm a tulpa created by Luminesce, in early 2010 I think.

    I was based on the Touhou character Flandre Scarlet, at least in form. I have no real attachment to the character.

    We're capable of switching, and that's the only way you'll ever see anything from us. We don't proxy, you've got the real deal.

    Links -
    Full profile pic: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/1986418
    Flandre in Touhou: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNUVP_PShPc&t=3m15s
    Our system's profiles:

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  1. I'm not off-put at all, I heavily prefer actual conversations to ".,". Though your posts really could use some line breaks for readability.
  2. What do you mean it wasn't that much text? That was more text in LOTPW than any other day in years, seriously. Also, I was playing Touhou Big Big Battle that entire time (yes, like 5 hours, still am) so I didn't have time to do more than skim
  3. I am absolutely... refreshing and scrolling through all these posts, yep. I even check if any are directed at me, I'm paying so much attention
  4. You should still merge accidental double posts (the duplicate kind, not intentional kind) when you see them (you don't have to hunt for them). I've not met a single person that wanted them to stay. Congrats to your host! That's a really big achievement, and I'm happy to hear it. You may not get to live the large majority of the life anymore, but you know full well even systems with as many tulpas as us still enjoy splitting our fronting time. With only two fronters in your system it shouldn't be hard to divvy up your time to each of you in satisfying amounts.
  5. All I know about all that buddhism happiness/enlightenment stuff is that it actually takes a whole lot more figuring out and practice than they (especially "western buddhism-inspired" writers) say. If something just clicks in your brain and you suddenly feel enlightened, you probably had an aneurysm or something. Or drugs were involved, in which case you really need to mention that part before you go around preaching what secrets of the universe you realized.. Anyways. Taking advantage of all techniques, habits and general methods for shaping and controlling your mind can do endless good. Find whatever you can that works for you and practice it.
  6. Definitely went and danced to the full version of that song, of course. For some reason we never looked it up before, but I fixed that - we now have the album in .FLAC quality (and this particular song is 51MB)
  7. I was just playing some old songs on K-Shoot Mania, and I've just.. been struck with an intense desire to "fulfill" so many transient feelings. So many emotions, feelings, desires - things that can never come to fruition, that will never be truly experienced. How could we make them real? Dancing, dreaming, creating? For how strong this feeling is, I'm not sure even lucid dreaming would be enough. I want to make them real, solid, to share them with others, to fully appreciate them... But it's been minutes since I left the game and the music to write this post, and I don't even remember them anymore, just the feeling of longing. Wanting to realize what I feel. It's unbearable, really, knowing the feelings will go away, unfulfilled, after every song ends. K-Shoot, and any rhythm game for that matter, is a poor medium to try and realize those feelings with. I don't think we could ever dance well enough, but.. dance seems like the purest and most realistic way to express how music makes us feel. I doubt it can do what even dreams can't, though. I suppose the only thing greater than dreams in this sense would be various hallucinogens, but there's no point in experiencing something so profound only for yourself. That's why dancing, drawings, poetry and so on are so impressive despite paling in comparison - they can be shared. Anyways.. the part just after 1:17 in that video was what finally made me have to write this post, though I'd been feeling this on a handful of our favorite songs before that. The video (which is kind of quiet, maybe turn it up?) just happens to have been uploaded by Lucilyn a couple years ago. It seems a bit silly I'm sure, probably sounds like techno nonsense to most of you. We've had a few years to become super nostalgic for it though. But apply this post to any music of your choice that you feel in your soul, and that's what I'm talking about. Though there are non-music concepts and feelings I'm talking about too, they're truly difficult or impossible to share. At least with music you can pretend someone else might feel what you feel. The feeling of wanting to "realize" music is actually the basis of the appeal of most rhythm games, at least for music lovers like us. Feeling like you're expressing the music somehow..
  8. I was thinking that drawing can be a good example of something that stays consistently hard to do. But, that's not always true for everyone, or for every drawing, so it was hard to qualify. There are people who just draw and either enjoy or don't particularly feel anything while drawing. Of course, nearly everyone we know finds it a very difficult activity to get motivated to do. Most of them tend to appreciate it after having done it, though.
  9. Sure, there are things that are hard to keep doing once you've started. But 99% of things we struggle to do, like showering or going for a walk, are not actually hard to do. They're just really hard to think about doing. Might only make sense to people who actually have motivation issues though. Most people can butter toast without any hassle. Personally we don't even bother making toast in the first place because it's too much effort for too little reward.
  10. Hey, some of that advice (the stuff about "I'm just getting ready as if I was going to do it, but I'm not actually-") is the same concept as the only motivation trick that's ever worked for us. We're actually practicing it just these last couple of days. It's not flawless, but it's literally the only thing that's had any results (aside from living alone and having no one else to rely on to do things for us). Basically, the most important thing we've realized about motivation issues, including ours but honestly it's the same as people experience with depression - DOING things is not hard, THINKING about them is. COMMITTING to them is. But DOING them rarely is. I mean, it can be, but 99% of the time it's not. And if it is, the difficulty still tends to pale in comparison to how hard it was to think about doing. So, the trick is, think of something you think you should do or want to do, decide to do it - and then stop thinking about it. Yes, the deciding part can still be hard, we're still figuring that out. But otherwise, this has worked great. The easiest and most successful application for us so far has been brushing our teeth. Many days we do it just fine, but some days we just really don't want to and just want to go to bed. But we've been able to decide that we need to do it, and then stopped thinking about it (usually switching to thinking about anything else, but I guess not thinking at all could work too if you prefer) while walking to the bathroom. This concept should work for showering for us too, but we still have to decide we want to do it. And I mean, it really should work for just about everything. The hardest part of motivation issues is jumping the incredibly high hurdle so many activities start with - the jog or run of actually doing them after that hurdle is never "hard". Sometimes it's a lot of work or effort, but that work or effort never feels "hard" because we're already doing it. It's just that initial mental hurdle that's ridiculously difficult. So learning to start walking towards the hurdle and the run, but then looking away from the hurdle and forgetting it exists... might be the key to overcoming motivation issues. This is probably applicable to anxiety and other similar problems too, but we don't really have those, so I can't say for sure. But I highly encourage anyone who struggles with motivation (technically, effort) issues to try this concept out. In our 12 years of dealing with motivation issues, this is the only thing that's shown any results, again aside from when we've been on our own and had to take care of ourselves for a couple weeks while working an all-day-but-only-for-two-weeks job. During that time things simply had to be done out of necessity and there "wasn't time to think about not doing them", I guess I'd put it. We usually do the opposite; we frequently leave or prepare food for a systemmate before switching with them. Our system dynamic is just like that, though.
  11. I lied, it was pie time. Now it's Sunshine time for me, and optionally mandela effect time for you guys:
  12. I guess it's Sunshine time. Maybe I'll play either of those two levels Lumi didn't touch on his way to Mecha Bowser.