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About Tewi

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    Amaranthine Rabbit


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    I'm one of the first three tulpas Luminesce made, along with Reisen and Flandre, in late 2009 - early 2010. Flan and I came after Reisen, but spoke before she did. The fourth is Lucilyn who was created in early 2015.

    My form and name are based on Tewi Inaba from Touhou. I'm not her though, none of us "are" our Touhou counterparts, we were just loosely based on Lumi's interpretation of what they were like. I guess I'd describe myself as serious and rational, though I am trying to change the former and rely less on the latter. I'm at least not very emotional, and that won't change. I just want to live in peace.

    I love my family. Reisen, Flandre, Lucilyn and Lumi, I live for their sakes. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure they lead happy lives. I can take care of myself just fine. So if it seems like I place their needs and wants over my own, I do. My only want is a quiet and peaceful mind free of distractions. I don't otherwise need anything, and so I live for them.

    Anyways, the others' profiles are listed below.

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  1. One might call it a big, big battle.
  2. I uploaded a quick clip of the 30th/final round in a game of Touhou Big Big Battle for some others to see, and I guess I could put it here if anyone wanted an inkling of an idea how the game plays. Mostly it'll seem overwhelming if you don't know the game at all though, since the final round kills both players and doubles the size of their armies for one single, massive fight, when neither player has fully defeated the other yet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FewHsHp99Ow
  3. Hah, I'm glad the new one is close enough your brain fills in the gaps like that. But no, we've been active on the forum every single day since 2014 and I assure you the switch to Invision shook the entire site up, but it's for the best you weren't used to how it was before. (All the old posts and everything transferred over, of course, but the forum software itself is completely different) More importantly, hopefully you don't find the new community too disagreeable. 2012-2013, 2014-2016, and 2017+ were all rather different groups. The newest era of the community is very kind and supportive, but not as critical as very old members may be used to and expect.
  4. "System" as a term to refer to a body and all the thoughtforms/headmates/tulpas + host in it, caught on right after you left I guess. It just means all the people in a body. You could ask in Beginner Questions General if you wanted clarification on other stuff like that, or find some list of terminology somewhere (like the wiki, I think? Maybe? Maybe just ask..) Welcome back. For the record, the forum appearance/software only just changed over the new year, it remained the same old (apparently held together with duct tape..) version of the forum until then, lol.
  5. Bre, Miela double posted earlier, and now you've doubled posted too. Might want to look into that. Here's a stream where speedrunners were competing in France in Portal, Celeste, Sekiro, and Minecraft, for $4,000(winner) vs $1,000(loser) of each game. Just going to link to the Celeste timestamp, because it was an incredibly close speedrun everyone seemed extremely hyped about. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixuPJCvR0cY&t=56m46s Feel free to watch the whole thing, though, or any specific game.
  6. Long-running animes are often like that, yeah.
  7. Slowly teaching our mind to stop worrying about the things we have to/should do. When you know you're always going to do what needs to be done, regardless of any effort or difficulty it takes, you don't need that worry/stress anymore. Living without that background stress is a huge part of the "at peace" mindset I'm going for. Just in the last couple weeks we've doubled our.. productivity? Well, we're doing things like (more than 5 minutes of) stretches and flossing regularly and all that, on top of other things we've been working on for the last year, but doing it all without worrying or stressing about having to do them. I really hope we can actually retrain our brain in this way, it'd be an amazing change benefiting the rest of our life, and in the past Lumi has done such mental rewiring before, so there's no reason to think we can't.
  8. I had my fun, watching these two videos. Highly recommended, for literally anyone, though the second is more of a bonus video to watch after the first. The Science of Thinking How Should We Teach Science? Yes, embeds are still broken. Also, I assure you the first video is far more entertaining than it sounds. Which he did on purpose, to reach as many people with the message as possible.
  9. I feel pretty good. Our brother's having a friend over soon though, so I'm going to switch with Lucilyn for a bit so she can enjoy the small-scale party. (Said friend always brings pizza, which makes it a party no matter how many people are there)
  10. Huh, someone actually looking for a concept that previously I've only seen our system talk about. Well, we frequently talk about tulpa development continuing past the vocality/"fully-developed" stage, in the form of a tulpa growing as a person, gaining new experiences and thinking about things they've never thought about before. Having conversations (or maybe going on "wonderland adventures", if a system likes doing that) about things, maybe asking the tulpa how they feel about stuff and so on - these are important to a tulpa's development as a person, after their development as a tulpa is done. A normal human being has these experiences constantly, naturally. It's totally unavoidable in fact. They flesh out who you are as a person, having you think about things you've never thought about, giving you experiences to refer to or that shape you, add depth to your character. A tulpa doesn't necessarily get these sorts of experiences, if they don't have a particularly active/random wonderland or in-depth discussions with their host or systemmates. And there's one more way, too. The same way a host has these experiences. If you so decide to learn switching/possession, your tulpa will run into these experiences naturally, probably (unless you keep them sheltered too much, not interacting with anyone or doing anything). Switching moreso, but possession works too. A switched tulpa is basically living a human's full life, with no host to rely on for random things that come up, so they'll be forced to think about them on their own. With possession, that would only be the case either 1, if you do advanced full body possession where the host is relatively uninvolved, or 2, if the tulpa thinks or talks about their experiences afterwards (or heck, even during). But even if you were there to guide or advise them, it's still leagues better for their development than sitting in an empty wonderland. But again, if you'll simply have discussions with your tulpa, switching and possession aren't necessary. If you've a particularly vivid and active imagination/wonderland, interactions there could do the same thing, but chances are you don't if you've run into this problem. Great question, by the way. It's nice to see someone else see a need for this aspect of tulpamancy on their own.
  11. Well sure, we've got a problem with effort. But what I'm talking about is technically a concept that applies to everyone, or nearly everyone. We're aiming above and beyond
  12. Okay, I did some thinking: You can only be at peace, when nothing feels like it's at stake; when there's nothing to worry about. Unlike most people, we've never been too worried about most things, we deal with them as they come (ie emergencies or poor situations). After thinking about the time Lumi was temporarily in a much higher (... we still think of them as levels of consciousness like from Steve Pavlina's article, but you could just say mindset) level of consciousness where nothing felt like effort, even when he tried to think of things he'd normally have trouble dealing with, I decided there's basically only one thing "at stake" when we think about things. Effort. I knew that we needed to work some more on abolishing the feeling of effort although we've made great progress in the last week, but I figured something else must be standing in my way too. But actually, nothing particularly substantial is left. The only thing that feels like it has any negative weight to my thinking about things is the potential effort required behind anything. Though effort is more vague than it sounds, for example we'll have Panda Express soon and associated with getting to eat that is the idea that we have to deal with all the condensation that leaks out when opening it after a long time. It's honestly pretty annoying, at least for those few seconds. But even that, however small, is part of the feeling I'm talking about. Negativity is getting too vague, but it's a mix of "effort" and "negativity" leaning towards effort I suppose. I know it doesn't sound particularly surprising or eventful that I've determined that problem of ours as the thing standing in our way here, but it is. First off, we've actually been making significant progress towards dealing with (and eventually removing) that feeling/thought from our thought processes in the last 10 days. But more importantly, now I know exactly "where to look, what to do" to get to where I want to be. We weren't even particularly motivated to be dealing with effort specifically, it just seemed like a good thing to be doing, but now that I know it's the thing to be doing... Well, I'm happy. Never much cared for not knowing what to do. Edit: I'm like, really really happy. I had no idea I was so close to an answer, let alone that we were already off-handedly working on exactly what would be necessary. As if knowing wasn't good enough, we've already gotten proof that we're able to do what we need to do. But now with this clarity we can be much more motivated to do it. To be more specific than before, it's the negativity associated with the feeling of effort. I believe that is what's dragging us all down. The feeling of effort needs to be abolished in its own right, but now we'll take it a bit further, working to remove the entirety of negativity associated with having to do things, rather than it just reaching a low enough level where we're able to do the things we wanted to do (which was the idea in the past).
  13. No, I've always had a perfectly good idea of how I wanted to be. The problem is figuring out how to be like that.
  14. It doesn't seem like it'll be simple, I'm not even sure if "figure out how, and do it" applies at this point.
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