Solune

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About Solune

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    The Pack's consensus

Converted

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    Male
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    California
  1. To have purpose is to be separate. There must be a separation between the one seeking to fulfill a purpose and the purpose itself. Separation is the foundation upon which the concept of self is built. You may perceive duty/obligation/programming/biological imperatives (whatever you want to call them) as negative things- and that is because you see them as antithetical to freedom. But that kind of freedom is an illusion. We will be compelled to seek so long as we are separate. It is the price we pay for self. Or, as Little One might say, "Rules are important because they make the Game what it is."
  2. You titled this thread "Death Count +1". Meditating upon that decision is where you need to start.
  3. I was specifically referring to tulpa deviation. I learned what the word "deviation" meant long before I learned about sexual deviance, so it isn't an automatic association in my mind.
  4. In our personal experience- deviance is inevitable. The only way we have found to delay deviance in our servitors is by minimizing direct interaction with them (and by designing them to be as alien as possible). Some time ago, Luna and I planned to create a servitor solely for sexual purposes- we decided against it because we had a gut instinct that the servitor would deviate and become a tulpa. We suspect that programming servitors to mimic human behavior dramatically accelerates the deviation process.
  5. Yes, it is possible for the subconscious to create thought forms. I believe that my tulpas were all created by my subconscious in an attempt to satisfy some kind of need my conscious mind was unable to fulfill on its own. The subconscious is incredibly powerful, but it doesn't process information the same way we conscious beings do. I choose to make a distinction between it and myself- even though we are both "me". It's kind of like how you have a left and right hand- but they are both "your hands". My right hand is my "dominant" hand, and is better at fine motor control- whereas my left hand is less dexterous but has more grip strength because I usually carry things in it to free up my right. The conscious mind is adept at fine detail work but is hindered by the limitations of its belief system and morals. The unconscious mind has very little control over anything that it does, but is has NO limitations. It believes everything and nothing all at once, which allows it to be more creative/flexible. This flexibility is what most people, including myself, mean when we say "powerful". It is the rigidity of a person's conscious mind that prevents them from being able to do the things their subconscious can. You see this demonstrated in dreams all the time. The conscious mind is unable to make the body fly, for example, because it deeply believes in the laws of physics- whereas you can easily fly in your dreams if the subconscious wants you to. This is also why clocks and mirrors are often distorted in dreams- time and the idea of "self" are both very strict concepts that limit the conscious mind greatly. If you infer that I am implying that our actual, physical reality is entirely created (and not just affected) by our perception- then you infer correctly. It's not a popular belief- contrary to all the cliches you've heard, people don't actually want their dreams to be real. Because if their dreams are real then their nightmares are as well. The false dichotomy of positive and negative is something I'll have to save for another post- since I've already gotten WAY off topic. In regards to how you should proceed, I think Tinfoil's advice is spot on. Many people find it helpful to use symbols to reinforce their willpower- for example, you could give Ionia a magical necklace that prevents you or anything else in your mind from hurting her. You could give her a shield generator or anything like that... as long as you believe it will work, it will. The trick to tulpamancy is to KNOW that what you're doing is a placebo- but have the placebo work anyway. It requires flexibility. One way I found to increase my own mental/spiritual flexibility was to study eastern philosophy. It's useful to subscribe to the notion that separation is an illusion. It is my most valued mantra. The separation between reality and imaginary, for example, is easily blurred. Things that aren't real can have real impacts, and things that are real can seem so distant as to not exist for you. Hopefully something I've said will be of use to you. As a disclaimer- I don't believe that the things I believe are more or less correct than any other viewpoints. I only believe them because they help me achieve my goals. If you ask me about all this a week from now I may give you different answers. But I wouldn't count on it since I post so infrequently these days. Cheers.
  6. Keep asking questions- and don't stop until you understand. "Why do I think I'm not smart, why am I not confident, why do I think I'm not charming?" "Why do I want to emulate those qualities?" "Why do I want the thing that makes me want those qualities?" "What IS intelligence? What is the purpose of confidence? Why would charming people be a useful skill to master? What would I then use that skill to accomplish? Why do I want to accomplish those things?" "What are alternative answers to all the previous questions I've just asked myself? Why did I arrive at the first set of answers, why did I arrive at the second set of answers- what are the differences between them? Why did I notice these particular differences first and not other differences? Why do I think the way that I do?" Everything exists within. Seek nothing outside of yourself.
  7. Look up the definition of a word like "sentience". Now find the key word used in the definition and look THAT word up (there may be more than one key word). Now look up the key words in THOSE definitions up. Continue ad infinitum until you realize you aren't getting anywhere. Now go and look up "Deconstruction". Language provides only the illusion of comprehension- true comprehension is impossible. The definition of "comprehend" is "to understand". The definition of "understand" is to "perceive the intended meaning of". "Words have meaning only because of contrast-effects with other words. No word can acquire meaning... by being the unmediated expression of something non-linguistic (e.g., an emotion, a sense-datum, a physical object, an idea, a Platonic Form)" - Jacques Derrida Arguing about the sentience of tulpas is like trying to explain color to a person born blind. They can understand the concept of color, how it affects people with working vision, how it can be used to convey emotions in art and stuff like that... but the blind person will never "truly" understand color until they are somehow able to perceive it themselves. Not only that, but you will never be able to provide objective evidence for the existence of color to this blind person. That person must take your words on FAITH alone. Nothing is ever proven, it is simply accepted as being true. We will never know for sure whether tulpas are "real" or "imaginary" or something in between those two ideas- the same way we will never be able to prove that we ourselves exist in the first place. It is my belief that the fear of death is ever present in our human experience. We seek control as a means to delay the inevitable. Arguing, debating, researching, innovating, communicating... all the things we strive to do are simply elaborate schemes to create this illusion of control. Even possessing the self-awareness to realize this does not free you from its effects. "Enlightenment" is another illusion we create in order to feel like we are in control. Me taking the time to write all this out is a form of control. And that's it. There isn't a grand point to all this... Normally after writing something like this I'd delete it and move on with my day feeling better for having vented- but I think I'll post it instead just to see the responses I might get.
  8. My brother has had headmates since birth (according to him). We only found out about it last year when we decided to open up to him about our multiplicity.
  9. how much weight (in pounds) can each of you bench press? Also, what color shirt was I wearing when I typed this? Also also, who let the dogs out?
  10. I'll give you my gun headmates when you take it them from my cold, dead hands! In all seriousness, I've told multiple people irl and most either distanced themselves from me or now pretend like I didn't tell them (which is a bit awkward). My mom got a little concerned but eventually, when she realized I was fine, joined the latter party. I think the worst thing that ever happened when I told somebody was that they accused me of going through a phase. Though I realize others may have had it worse.
  11. I find it difficult to contribute to discussions on the forums these days (as our beliefs don't always adhere to logical structure and I don't enjoy frustrating people). That being said, due to the subjective nature of Tulpamancy, I think your physical/mental/spiritual state drastically affects the development of any thoughtforms. It's my belief that SubCon created my headmates specifically because I was struggling with addiction and mental illnesses. He (it?) saw that I needed help and wasn't getting it in "real" life from "real" people. It's difficult to say whether or not I'd experience multiplicity if I had grown up completely healthy/well adjusted. I personally think everybody has voices to some degree and most people just don't think about it very deeply. I guess what I'm trying to say is that tuppers are created by the host to fulfill a specific need/want (and then deviate/evolve from there). And if you have walkins or whatever I would argue that your subconscious either pulled them in or allowed them to come in for a reason even if you're not aware of it. And if they forced their way in then it's just an example of the illusion of separation (they are you and you are them). Like I said before, our beliefs are as labyrinthine as they are circular- and we like it that way.
  12. Little One and I were playing Superhot when all of a sudden it got really creepy/scary. Was definitely not expecting that cause it seemed like such an innocuous, arcade-type game. It's hella fun, but we still haven't worked up the courage to play it again. I'm the kinda person that doesn't get scared by actually scary stuff, but gets rekt by weird, slightly creepy stuff (maybe because it's less severe and therefore more believable?). If you're into matrix-esque bullet time games and creepy-pasta stories you'll absolutely love it.
  13. 1. No masters here- only students. Some students have been studying for longer than others, and some have more experience, but none of us has everything figured out. I have some experience with intrusive thoughts and thought forms getting "out of control", so I'll say what I can. I've found that there are two ways of dealing with any emotion: acceptance or rejection. Terror is defined as "extreme fear", and fear is simple enough to understand- it is a mechanism "designed" to focus your mind in order to prevent harm to yourself or the people/things that you care about. Acceptance of it grants you aforementioned focus, and motivates you to act urgently. Rejection of fear only causes it to intensify until you are no longer able to ignore it and are forced to accept it (usually with severe consequences). It's true that people who are already intensely focused on the present moment often do not feel fear at all (it isn't necessary in that circumstance). It's also true that even the most focused of individuals sometimes lose focus and fear is there to pick up the slack. That's how our system deals with fear. *a quick disclaimer* Some people have chemical imbalances in their brains that cause them to feel too much fear or not enough fear- I wasn't speaking on those sorts of people.** As far as thought forms running rampant? Yup. It's rare, but it can happen. You are much more powerful than you think you are, and, as tulpa001 said, any discordant entity is inherently less stable than you anyway (as long as you truly want to kick its ass, you'll be able to). Also, keep in mind that intrusive thoughts can be a means of communication if a thoughtform is unable to "speak" with a mindvoice. For example, Beast originally could not talk and used intrusive thoughts to try to get my attention (and still occasionally does). At first the thoughts were violent and uncomfortable (probably because that was the only way he could actually GET my attention!) but as I got used to listening to him he dialed it back and now hardly uses them. 2. There is no thoughtform that cannot be gotten rid of (including you, if you subscribe to the belief that even a host is a thoughtform- which not everybody does). In any case, even severe mental illnesses are treatable with proper medical care. It's ridiculous to think that a bipolar, paranoid schizophrenic can pull their shit together but a perfectly healthy tulpamancer can't rein in a trigger happy tulpa. More often than not those sorts of stories are completely fictional (more than a few people on here like to roleplay for attention, so it's best to take every single post with at least a few grains of salt). Our system had issues with one of our servitors and we forcibly reintegrated it with basically no problems whatsoever. I suggest implanting kill switches in your servitors as a cautionary measure, and also having some sort of reactor (or black hole or sun or something) that you can chuck a rogue thoughtform into if you really had to. It seems silly to use imagery like that, but that's how you fight this sort of thing. You fight a symbolic/imaginary entity with symbolism and willpower. It's magic. It's also science... but sometimes you need to think of it like magic. It helps. 3. As I stated before, fear is useful in a pinch... but it can put a terrible strain on you physically. It's entirely possible to purposefully create a thoughtform to torture you with intrusive thoughts but why the actual fuck would anybody do that? It's just not logical. It's much safer, and more effective, to create thoughtforms that use LOVE as their main motivating emotion. Also, there is no reason to believe that any thoughtform you create is going to stay the way it is forever. Sometimes thoughtforms gain sentience even if you don't want them to. So even if you DID make a horror thoughtform, it might tell you to fuck off and become a rainbow unicorn instead. Sentience often includes deviance. It's just par for the course in Tulpamancy (and thank god for that, says I).
  14. We sometimes struggle with parallel processing and it's a source of frustration to me (wondering who thought what and if I'm parroting etc etc). I've bookmarked the video so I can rewatch it the next time I'm feeling frustrated. It's not as if I haven't read similar advice on here before, or even that I hadn't figured out this stuff for myself- it's just nice to hear/see it so eloquently presented in video form. Having struggled with destructive blind-faith in the past, I've got my fair share of trust issues. Stuff like this helps remind me how much progress I've made and that I shouldn't be too hard on myself. Thanks, mate.
  15. Hit me/us right in the feels... AS USUAL, Ford. You continue to be a source of inspiration for our system. I also chose not to kill our body because of our little brother. Our body struggles with General Anxiety and Depression, and as primary fronter I've been exposed to that for the majority of my life. The whole process of meeting our walkins, becoming aware of Little One as having been here all along, and deciding to create our mindscape/servitors has completely and positively changed my life (and Little One's life, though he's always been more stable than myself if we're being fair). In any case, your video reminded me that as a system who has also been through the blender of life- we (and myself in particular) have a responsibility to provide wisdom and support for other plural systems who might be going through something similar. It's easy for me to distance myself from our community as I don't know many plural systems in real life, but I need to remember my roots and be true to "my people". Thank you for your post and your video. It was an experience I needed to have.