Heckhound

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About Heckhound

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Converted

  • Sex
    Female
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    AR, USA
  1. Oh, nice! I read them, as well. Just wasn't too sure if anyone else did, haha.
  2. Does anybody read PRs anymore? I keep a log on my phone of shit that goes down both regarding general life stuff, as well as head ghost things, so it's hard to hop in here and update very often when I feel like I've already talked about what happened. I want to keep a decent log here, too, though. Maybe I'll update once a month. I'll start with saying I got a job last month. It comes with a lot of responsibilities and a lot of training, so I've been pretty busy with that. I almost let it get in the way of paying attention to him, but I'm doing my best to keep that from happening. Talking to him in the mornings when I'm getting ready, as well as on breaks/lunch, and getting right back to it when I'm off. It's difficult to talk to him at work proper, since I have to pay attention to all the training I'm undergoing, but once things smooth out more in that department, I should be able to talk to him during my shifts. Our goal is to have him help me out at work eventually, which would be great. I've been a housewife for too long, so this job will be good for both of us in the life experience/socializing department, for sure. There are two really big things I want to cover, and then maybe some small shit. First: I heard him very clearly the night before last. Probably the most distinct I've ever heard him, which is surprising. It was like hearing him from the outside rather than my mind, only it didn't come from any specific direction. It started with something faint, but intelligible enough that I responded to it with a "Thank you," because I try to respond to everything I hear bounce around in there just in case. What followed was a very clear, "You're welcome," in a male voice. It startled me quite a bit, as I didn't expect something so loud. After that, the conversation was typical mindvoice levels of clarity, but I want to try to work up to that volume from him at a more consistent rate. Because that was fucking nuts. And second, some possession happened. I asked him if he wanted to practice a bit, and when he confirmed he did, I relaxed and asked him to pick an arm to work with. After sort of mentally separating myself from that arm (the left), I told him to go for it. It took a few minutes, if I had to guess, but eventually my index finger shot up. It was surprising, and felt very "not me." I encouraged him to do it again, and it took a bit longer. After waiting some time, and just trying to relax with no expectations, it happened again. I congratulated him, and we continued the forcing session. (Which are more like focused conversations than anything. I don't feel the need to do anything too in-depth with him, since he's already self-aware. We also practice a lot of touch imposition during this time.) I've noticed he likes to change his clothes most days. Which is fun for me, because I look forward to seeing what he's picked out for the day. There's also some slight deviation in appearance, but it's mostly finer details like hair texture and height. I can visualize him pretty well now. It's nice, because I've always had trouble picturing more detailed things like faces, T-shirt graphics, and other shit, and that can be frustrating during forcing. Not so much of a problem now. I guess that's most of what I wanted to write out when it comes to progress. I didn't mention smaller shit like his music tastes developing, emotional responses I've been getting, etc etc. I guess I'll throw in here that I made him his own Discord account, and I've been proxying for him so he can have small conversations with my wife, both text and irl. She likes to interact with him, and it gives him someone to talk to other than me. Small steps toward him being ready to talk to strangers on the internet. Might throw him into a chat soon to test the waters. I don't know. I'm afraid of fucking it up. Next post will probably be an intro post. I'm off to actually spend some time with him now.
  3. Have you tried parroting for a while? Like, completely intentional "this is how you would respond to what I just said" kind of stuff. This may kickstart vocality, since you'll be actively showing her how to talk for while -- like training wheels. Do it until it becomes a habit, and then let go and give her the reigns. I know many people are against this method, but in this case, it may be necessary to try.
  4. If this thoughtform is taking complete control of you and "literally making you abuse your girlfriend," then that's disordered behavior, and no it is not a tulpa. It sounds like you're entertaining, and in doing so exacerbating, violent intrusive thoughts, and you need to take back control. If you're harming yourself or others, I suggest seeking professional help as soon as possible.
  5. I get head pressures in a particular spot, as well as tingles/tightness all over the scalp sometimes. Pretty neat. This isn't too common for me though.
  6. Oh my god, that was really good.
  7. Setting aside a lot of strange things about this post, I'm going to just ask: I still don't understand why you're under the impression that the FBI has taken interest in you, specifically. Lots of people are psychopaths. Many of them write stories and talk amongst each other. What have you done that would warrant government surveillance at a higher level than the base internet usage surveillance that most of the population is probably already under? As deviant as your fetishes and whatnot may be, you don't sound like you're much different than other people who are like you.
  8. Here's the guide. It's pretty simple, it just takes a lot of practice. We don't have visual imposition down by any means, but tactile is improving. I've hallucinated his voice a few times. Full-blown imposition is a rare skill that I'd say most people don't think is necessary.
  9. Pixie is very cute! And 15 minutes is better than nothing. You can always try again tomorrow. Just a heads-up, people usually log this sort of stuff in the Progress Reports section. There, you'll find lots of threads for other people's progress and whatnot. You can find it here.
  10. No problem. I'm glad that helped. As time goes on, you'll most likely be able to hold longer sessions. However, here's a tip for keeping conversation going: try to jot down topics that come to mind throughout the day, either on paper or on your phone. Doesn't matter. It can be random thoughts you had, something that made you laugh, or just a recount of mundane things you did that day. Then, when it comes time to sit and force, you have a list of things to talk about rather than just trying to wing it for 30 minutes. :)
  11. Basically: sit somewhere where you won't be disturbed for a while, relax, and think about your tulpa. Focus only on them. Talk to them about whatever you want until they start to communicate back, then you can begin having two-sided conversations. That's all forcing really is. They will respond on their own, and it's generally not advised that you put words in their mouth. Just be patient and persistent, and they'll start to reach out to you when they're able to do so. Look for signs of communication that might not be so obvious, such as head pressures or sudden strong emotions. Is there anything you're still unsure about?
  12. No problem! Yeah, it was definitely a gradual thing. Organic is a good word for it. I meant he no longer identifies with the backstory he had as a character. For the most part, anyway. He maintained the personality that emerged from it, but doesn't see it as something that actually happened to him. He does, however, remember things about himself that I came up with (when he was a character) better than I do at times. When I've forgotten a detail of his appearance, for example, he usually knows and can correct me if I've gotten it wrong. That's not to say I haven't learned new things about him. Although he's kept a large portion of his crafted personality, he's still able to surprise me with new aspects of himself. Which is to be expected since he's been able to interact, learn, and reflect on his own.
  13. Well, I've known about tulpas since early 2014, though I was mostly lurking around the community until around 2016. Since then, I've had a few failed attempts for various reasons. I've learned a lot from those experiences though, and have matured as a person, so I don't believe I'll be repeating my past mistakes. I've kept my current tulpa's personal details private so far, but I will say that he's been around for almost 3 years now. He started out as a character that I paid a lot of attention to during that time (daily even), and he underwent a lot of development as a result. It got to the point where I'd know how he'd feel/say about just about anything, to the point of sometimes getting clear, automatic responses if I were to ask him something. This year, I decided to "upgrade" him to tulpa status, and give him free reign of his life. No more controlling from my end, and he's now detached from his backstory. It's been an interesting process, and he's enjoying experiencing the real world. We've found that we're pretty good at touch imposition, too, which is neat. That was maybe more than a "little" about my experience, sorry! Anyway, I'm glad you two are bonding and I hope you'll keep having a good time with all this. I can imagine being so open and public about it can get stressful eventually. Stay safe.