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    Comforting Darkness

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  1. My ex was somewhat alright with the concept of tulpas or "imaginary friends" but was very much against the concept of me not being myself at times. Like Lucilyn said, talking to yourself mentally is a different level for most people than the idea that a tulpa can control the body. They may start drawing parallels with demonic possession or with how DiD is depicted in horror movies and freak out. Generally the best way to approach it is to come at it from a religious viewpoint about Buddhism because then they cannot necessarily bash you over your religious beliefs. Later you can show them what that looks like in practice rather than describing it to them.
  2. So, a lot has changed although not much of it is really related to the thread, so I'll just cover that. Self-imposed bans are gone. As long as we have time to practice switching, we can. As for the other large post above, we had attempted to dissipate the tulpa. However, although at the time it seemed to work, it didn't. Shortly after we did this, about a month later, she just returned. The response of course was to put her back into the glass coffin we had and force her to be dormant again. It remained that way for many months. The glass coffin was in Raven's room because she never used it, and it sat there with a dim light above it. About eight months ago, she came rambling downstairs to where everyone else was. After checking, it seemed something had fallen off a shelf and broken the lid to the glass coffin. At the time we all did a revote, and everyone at this point is basically tired of dealing with it, and voted that she could stay. Her name, which she had given when we first found her, is Olivia. Her form at the time was that of a small gothic girl about 12 or less? (Her form originally had been similar, but as a full grown adult) She had sharp red eyes, black hair, and wore a black and white dress. This is the picture we found to act as a reference. A few things of interesting note. First, she does not share memories with anyone else in the system, yet everyone else in the system shares memories. She doesn't seem to have access to any of them. This has resulted in some interesting conversations about things that were common knowledge to everyone else in the system. Valerie in Ponytail's system actually had to give her a talk about the bird and the bees. (She volunteered to) It also took her a month before she realized that I was dating someone physically, and that it wasn't just a friend. When asked about her memories, she only remembers waking up to Samuel (who was scary) before being dragged off and put in the glass coffin. She doesn't have any memories of anything before that, of the attempted dissipation, or what she was doing before that happened. Second, she seems to be very strong at possession, even stronger than Ivy or Samuel can be. We haven't let her do any of it, but she has accidentally done it already before. She's too new to be in charge of the body. Since then she has been maturing of course at the rate tulpa do, and has now chosen a more young adult form and voice. You'll likely see her around more from now on. EDIT: It's been a lot longer she's been "around" although dormant on and off in the system, and our timeline failed to mention that.
  3. Unfortunately the last time I went through the users list (before the auto-banning plugin) something like 85% of accounts registering were spam bots, and we were deleting the same style posts daily. The plugin may fire some false positives but the alternative is 7 or so spam posts a day. If there is anyone who is autobanned incorrectly, please contact staff and we will resolve it as quickly as possible.
  4. If you are referring to this in the context of DID and Alters, they are both headmates. Whether or not they would fight each other depends entirely on their relationship. There are systems out there who have had pretty positive experiences with creating tulpa.
  5. Merging generally refers to two people becoming one more permanently. The end result is a single person that has traits of each. Blending or Co-Hosting is closer to what you are thinking about. Co-hosting is where two people control at the same time. In this way the person who wants to do something the most will end up moving the body. I don't have much experience with it. Blending is somewhat like merging, where the two personalities mix enough to feel like a single person but separate enough not to be. I've blended a few times with Ivy and while blended we cannot differentiate each other. We are mixed into a single person that have mixed enjoyments of each others. We may enjoy music that Ivy enjoys, and food that I enjoy, but not the other way around. It can be a little scary at first, but with practice it gets less so.
  6. It's been a mix of myself, Vos, and Pleeb dealing with it. I'll take a look at some options and recommend some things to staff later today.
  7. A CAT scan is simply a scan of the physical portions of the brain. A cat scan would look the same of a tulpamancer as it would anyone else. What you are probably thinking of is EEG scans, or brainwave scans. There are a few people attempting to make that happen but renting the machines are very very costly and hasn't been done yet.
  8. Your religion is your own. You would have to decide how this would reflect on it. You don't have to tell you parents if you don't want to, or you could wait until you are on your own first. As for demonic possession if you believe it to be real, it in theory is actually safer to have a tulpa than not as you then have multiple people resisting compared to only yourself. The difference between mediums and tulpa is that mediums are communicating with the dead. A tulpa is created by you and is what some would call a "local spirit", it is not the spirit of someone who would have existed before. There do exist walk-ins but if they do come with memories in my experience its not anything similar to what a ghost would have.
  9. I've seen it but didn't intend to buy it. It seems really short.
  10. You definately can make music with your tulpa, offhand the person that comes to mind is Vrabo and Iqua. [video=youtube] I hope you make quick progress and feel free to ask about anything you have questions about. (Also props on the clever title, made me laugh)
  11. Tulpa share a head with you, and spend the majority of their time with you. The majority of tulpa are very good at imitating their hosts. Even if something does seem "off" about you to someone else, the last thing they are going to jump to is that you have a different person controlling the body. Tulpa may pursue their own friends separate from the host, but the majority of tulpa find online friendships fulfilling enough. It's more of recognition separate of the host rather than necessarily needing IRL interaction. It was a big deal to Ivy when she first made herself an email and accounts on some websites. In the mindscape you will not have a form unless you create one. When I started out I guess I appeared pretty ghostlike and wasn't solid. Last Christmas one of the things I was gifted from my tulpa was a form to pilot in the mindscape. Third and first person tend to vary but it seems most people naturally get pushed to third person. It may take some work to stay first person. I believe anyone who has a form already likely has the form of their "self-image", or how they imagine themselves to look while mixed with some ideals. A host having a form different than their physical form isn't too uncommon. My form does not match the physical body. A tulpa can go "to the back" where they are active in the mindscape and leave you alone. You'll find that if you aren't directing a thought towards them or their "direction" that they won't hear it and may need to perk up to do so. Otherwise the people who have more than one or two tulpa would never have a moment of quiet. Even with the 4 I have, they don't talk much while I am working since I need to focus, but I can start a conversation with them at any time. When you first are making a tulpa, you should try to force as much as possible. Even a day or two off forcing within the first week can have them fade (or recede) in ability. For older tulpa forcing doesn't because as big a deal. Ideally you should be active forcing all the time you are able to, and then passive forcing during all the rest. About the time a tulpa becomes vocal they can begin self-forcing by chatting with people outside of the head and you won't need to active force anymore (unless you want to spend time in the mindscape with them). Things do get old, but it's like a relationship with a roommate. At first you might be all excited but the excitement fades as you just continue on to live life. It's like a relationship with a best friend except you two never are separate and will never fade out of touch. All it takes is something new to talk about or a new shared interest and you are both back to staying up late talking. There are people who have told others, with both good and bad results. It's important to gauge how the person you are going to tell will react before you introduce them. A lot of people will use the "weird thing I seen on the internet" kind of line to get on the topic and discuss it to gauge their response. How you introduce it is also important. The least backlash method seems to be from a religious beliefs perspective rather than a psychological one, since Tulpa creation is originally a Tibetan Buddhist practice. Don't introduce them to anyone you do not have a lot of trust with. Blending for us is kind of frustrating. I've blended with Ivy a few times. Generally you lose your sense of Identity. You become a mix of two people rather than a single person. When me and Ivy mix we are unable to community with eachother. The "us" may be unsatisfied with anything other than tea to drink (which is Ivy's thing) but we might want to listen to hard rock (which is my thing). When it happens we have found the best thing to do is just to ignore it and relax as well as possible. It's always resolved itself naturally within the same day. Forcing can get boring if you let it get boring. Basically forcing is any form of interaction with your tulpa, and when you active force you have access to the mindscape which is a mental sandbox. You can do anything you want there. People have gone on adventures, slayed beasts, cooked brownies together, built a house, had sparring matches, and more. One of the most memorable moments I have with Ivy is carving pumpkins together shortly before Halloween. Even as a male host with female tulpa, it is hard at first to sort out mindvoice. It's something that your tulpa needs to practice but that you have a certain amount of sway over. Even if they are too similar things are still pretty clear as mindvoice also carries intent and context that allows it to be identified. There are people who have made tulpa simply by roleplaying heavily. If you decide to commit it is better to try and gauge her responses to things rather than "thinking up" what her responses would be via roleplay. Roleplay would sort of be a form of parroting if you are imagining her form and having it speak her responses. If you have many more questions you can talk to Ivy or Raven on Discord if you'd like.
  12. You might want to look up Ford and Aury's youtube. He has a few videos explaining it and how it's not dangerous. There are also a few studies that can be linked.