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LostOne

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About LostOne

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  1. Either way, Possession is hard and we haven't done a switch yet. And most here just kinda came along or were unintentional but should've seen coming. I don't know really how to reply past 'ok'.
  2. Thank you. The main thing is that we don't know how to make it a 'true' 50/50, as it seems most likely that I would accidentally take control repeatedly. It's a bit more complicated than just 'walk-ins', as a few were made by hypnosis meaning they didnt just appear out of nowhere. But a walk-in from what I know usually refers to any sorta person who appears into your mind on their own
  3. Kelly: You can archive/delete my old progress report thread if you want. So, hello everyone! It's been a long time since I've interacted with this community in about any fashion past updating my signature when more people join my head. My name is Kelly, although you can call me Plush or Kyle too. I am the 'host' of my group, being the original person and the main controller of the body. Some people may know me from that one guide I made and wish I worded better dealing with wonderland. I was born in 1997, and made my first tulpa back in 2016, who goes by Sam. He is my first Tulpa, and the only intentional one. Everyone else after him has been a variety of reasons, but it is most likely that you will only see me or him here. I have joined and left this community a few times. Many of the reasons are pointless to list here, but I will mention that I will only be checking this place once in a while as I don't have much reason to invest in it. I'm back more on curiosity than anything else, and that dies quick. I do have some goals I wish to do from tulpamancy again, but not all my goals line up together. Part of me wants one thing, part wants other, so I will list basically a few timelines of goals I could go for. Either way, I will have to get into meditation again, and work on going back into wonderland with immersion. This has been a big roadblock for me since I never spend time to practice such. Once this is done, then we split off into many of my goals. Goal 1: This one is a simple one that some may oppose. I would want to learn to switch, and basically no longer control for my life. I've had many conversations and the like about it, but basically, I would like to no longer have the responsibility and stress of life. I would swap places with Sam, and be more like him where I assist him and help out in wonderland. The main issue with this goal is how I cannot dissociate, visualization is poor, my focus sucks, and the fact that a switch like that is very tough to do. He would have free reign to do what he wants or needs by this point, which he does wish to learn to draw, and I think has a little more ambition than me, although perhaps also a bit more anxiety. Goal 2: If this is not an option, then what I would like to do is to focus more on changing my irl life. As it stands, I currently am living a life that may be more suited for Sam, as I'm physically a guy and all. I would spend my time working on making my body into a female instead, transitioning, and perhaps look into a job more suited for transitioning. I would also probably invest into a suit of my internal form as well. I think me and Sam in this scenario would keep control as how it is, where I do make the main decisions, with him possessing more only for maybe work and for him to learn to draw and whatever other hobby he would like. Goal 3: This ones a bit weirder. Me and Sam have on and off both wondered if me and him should try doing a 50/50 control, where me and him would have to basically agree on everything and share control. The downside to this is that loss of agency, to where me and him could become one person, but we already have had that scare before. I would be fine losing myself honestly. I will mention I wont be on here much. I work a night shift job that sucks and when classes start, I'll have even less free time. Im mostly here for help with possibly reaching that first goal, which is one that I do not believe most will help with. I can also chat, I'm always open for PMs, and would like to reconnect some with older friends. Also I'm a furry
  4. The main thing I could think is you are getting excited about feeling what you are feeling, or panic. One of the two. (No, I'm not back btw)
  5. K: If I asked to be banned, I would still come back under a different name likely so would rather not. K: My tulpas already, for the most part, feel free to be themselves already from what I know. Most, except Sam, are fine not being social with the outside world and I don't feel much need for talking about them most of the time. Discords have more problems than accessibility, like some get drama or such, and the reddit is more just info. K: I don't know what brings me back here really. Some of the people I am not exactly fond of are still around. My problems I had with here ranges from a general spread of mis-information (despite it being a 'scientific' or whatever forum, not saying there's a lot of it), people can't agree on terminology outside their specific sites, and there is a lot of toxicity and drama if you try diving into the wider community. K: I think on a deeper level, one thing I do dislike is this correlation I keep seeing between mostly depressed or suicidal hosts with people who make tulpas. While I wasn't exactly the most stable coming into this, just about everyone I know with a tulpa or some other thoughtform (Don't yell at me) are depressed and would rather fade away, some having almost or had tried to commit suicide, and many have so low self-esteem that they let themselves fall back while their tulpa does more of everything for them, which I was once guilty of doing and don't want to force on Sam ever again. I think the correlation just overall lowers my view of any tulpa place as a whole.
  6. K: I don't know what keeps drawling me back to this place when I don't want to be anywhere near it. Me and Sam have been focused on other stuff, I don't need the guides here, I dislike my memories of here and have a not nice view of most people here. I don't know why I am back, I'm not even staying. Idk why I am even making this post.
  7. That.. That is extremely unhealthy, I hope you know. Killing parts of yourself is pretty literal, I can see why she may have did it, but honestly it makes me more worried for her. Although this does add up a lot of things about her to me, you and her never mentioned this before.
  8. You know, I think I added it up. War, I think, had something extremely traumatic happen that likely broke off her emotional state long ago. This piece could be floating around lost somewhere in the mind or had faded away. Thus, she could be in a light state of depression without realizing it. Heck, I would be lying if I said I didn't think she might be depressed, and trying to cover it up even to herself by saying she only relies on logic. While you, Tulpa, did not get this depression. You could have gained the emotion that she lost or just started with emotions. Since you lived your whole life so far with depression lingering in the air, you are not used to what its like not having stronger emotions hit due to it. This may be one of the reasons for your anxiety on War fading, is you see this but don't want to outright admit it. The fact that anxiety doesn't seem to be with War also leads me to believe that she may have somehow disconnected it from herself and also given it to you without being aware of it. I think that the fact you are feeling the emotions from the breakup, to any degree, is likely making you freak out, which could be what causes the physical problems. You are freaking out whether you believe it or not. That's what I think
  9. K: All I am gonna say, is hypnosis can be useful, but keep an eye on yourself. It gets addictive.
  10. K: I think you're a tulpa. Hypnosis is a powerful thing and should never be taken lightly, especially nowhere near as lightly as I do. Unless you were formed specifically to be twilight sparkle, You are not a soulbond. But because of the hypnosis, it's likely somewhere in your subconscious that you have a link to the memories of the character which is hard to remove.
  11. K: Oh cool! Man I wish we found something like that. S: She's still wanting to be able to disconnect from the body. But it's cool that you now are getting to where you actually are able to disconnect fully at times. What do you plan on doing now that you know the switch has the potential to make you (War) practically the tulpa to.. well, Tulpa?
  12. I didn't want to really say anything on this forum after disowning it, but my tulpa pulled me back so I may as well try my best. I'm not in much place to answer this as my oldest tulpa is only a year and a half old, but my best guess goes to it depends on the type of person you are. You could live on with your tulpa or tulpas, or completely nullify everything you did and just be there. I wouldn't know. Also username.
  13. S: Reviving a dead thread because I can. *So this week, Sam tried imposing Clara at work* *Clara is following our boss* C: HEY! Don't walk away, I'm trying to tell you that the phone rang! Pay attention to me! You know I'm here so- HEY DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME! *We had a good laugh the whole time Clara was imposed*
  14. K: Hard to say. Sam's presence has been on and off for months and I only ever felt Clara and Jessi once or twice ever. So maybe? You have had them longer than I have had Sam and the girls.
  15. K: Every time me and Sam read something from you and Summer, I swear it's like a mirror almost in some aspects. I have been kinda in the same boat for a while, and I guess best I could say is what Kitsukrou has said with practice.
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