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About Desmond

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    I'm the oldest tulpa in our system, created in April 2014 when my host was turning 17. Our birthdays are close to one another. I never call her by name or even username, she's always just host. Calling her anything else doesn't feel natural to me.

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  1. Hi, so I've been feeling like shit again, so that's why I haven't been posting anything despite saying I'd be writing these for a while. I was really down and depressed and really just wanted to be left alone and go away, don't really remember what exactly I was thinking that time, but it's over now. I'm doing okay again and I'm trying to make the most of it while it lasts. I've been fronting for hours now, for some reason just don't wanna stop even though there isn't much to do. A random energy spike. I even tried drawing a bit (see our art thread if you wanna see : P ), then I've just been chatting away on whatsapp and discord servers (not the tulpa info one, didn't like it much the last time I was in one of those and don't know if it's better and who's there and what not). I noticed my way to type things is a bit or a lot more messy than host's. I guess I'm sorry if it's hard to read. Or maybe it just feels that way to me, idk. Host hasn't exactly been careful with her grammar lately either. An update on the antipsychotics though, no effect on us. At least not yet, or so small that it's not noticeable. It just gives her headaches and makes her hands shake. And made her focus a lot better and now she doesn't need to sleep as long as before, so I guess some benefits. Nothing too big.
  2. We are pretty darn cute, aren't we Does it count as tulpa art when it's art made by a tulpa? It better, 'cause I'm posting it. It's a one-layer speedpaint shit I made in like half an hour. Host hasn't been drawing and I don't know I wanted to help I guess.
  3. I don't think host would want that. Neither would I. Not only is host's body kinda gross to me, being the wrong gender and probably heavier than my actual form would be despite being shorter (shortly put yeah, she's overweight), but I'd be separate from L and Roska. Assuming we're not all clones of our host. And even then it'd be super weird, I'd have to a clone of her as a clone of her? Yeah no.
  4. Best: Ayu Worst: Scat Theme: furniture
  5. Hi Rouge. I read your name as rogue first, but Rouge does sound way cooler, at least to me lol
  6. Rejoice for I have graced you with my presence Or something. Hi, I'm stopping by
  7. Honestly, looking back on this, it seems host just overreacted. The thought of not being able to continue the PR made her feel sad for the first time in literal years, and combined with what's been going on in our personal lives, I don't think she thought about things long enough before posting. Which I obviously understand, I was there, but still, it's not that big of a deal. I understand the rules against in-system conversations in threads, because without the rule it could easily get excessive and make room for roleplayers and make the text unnecessarily hard to read, when a whole conversation can be summed up in "she said x and I agree", or "we thought that y z, though, he was against it at first" or something like that. Host has included short dialogue transcripts before, and most likely will again at some point if what we say seems funny enough for her or if they're necessary to portray personality, but I think that's different from conversation that happens at the time of writing, or excessive dialogue documentation. We've never received warnings or complaints about anything, not even my dumb ass venting, so is there really any reason for us to worry? Hell no. She's still a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing, but I'm not so here I am. Our posts may be diary-like but most of the time they stay on topic of what's going on with tulpas, mixed with some general information about what's going on with hosts mental state and life situation, which I think is sometimes important to "set the stage", so to speak, to give context and to possibly later see if that had any effect on anything else going on at the time. Some of it doesn't look like progress at the time of writing, but looking back to them there's always something different. I suppose post creation character development is still progress to one direction or another. And now with Roska there's a whole new person to observe and document. He's never had a Christmas, new year, spring or even a birthday, seeing as he is less than a year old, and I'm looking forward to seeing his reactions to everything. I love that I get to be a part of those experiences for him. Honestly, the thought makes me tear up a bit, as lame as that is. Speaking of him, we tried to figure out his taste in music the other day, but he seems to be too young (in both senses of the word) to have a specific taste yet, and he couldn't really give any feedback when asked about it. Anyway, yeah, looks like I'll be writing these until host feels better about it.
  8. It probably won't be forever, only so long she can keep away from posting. But for now, eh.
  9. Desmond


    Ok, a hot dog is not a sandwich but could a taco be a hot dog or vice versa?
  10. I'd rather it be an event too. It'd probably be more fun and it doesn't sound as serious. Not that I'd personally take part either way, I don't have the patience to draw anything
  11. Art contests could be arranged like they do with entrance exams to art schools here I guess. They don't look at skill as much as they do potential and composition and stuff like that or something. Creativity. Host had a classmate who couldn't draw shit but he was in the class with them and ended up focusing on photography while her cousin who could draw didn't get in. And yeah, I have time to hang around refreshing the page so here I am lol. Generally speaking I'm doing fine.
  12. Visualization for us has become more and more about just knowing, feeling and thinking how things are and look like instead of actively "seeing them" in our mind. It's kinda interesting I guess. EDIT: wth that's creepy don't greet me before I post lol
  13. What can I say, I have a pretty face. ;)
  14. Maybe someday I will try that out. We don't check that thread too often 'cause we don't spend that much time on the forum and it just moves so fast there's always several pages of new messages every time we stop by so eh. If I can dedicate more time for just that purpose one day then sure, but right now it's like midnight and host has to wake up early so it's not the best timing :p
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