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About Desmond

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    I'm the oldest tulpa in our system, created in April 2014 when my host was turning 17. Our birthdays are close to one another. I never call her by name or even username, she's always just host. Calling her anything else doesn't feel natural to me.

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  1. So like, remember when I said in the last post some weeks ago that we'd wait until January..? Yeah. Now there's six of us. The newest is still as much a tulpa as Roska's pet duck, but it's been a while since we've "manually" created a tulpa, so it'll probably feel like slow progress even if it isn't compared to the average on the forums or whatever. His name is Kaiku, which means echo, though it might change, to Danil or Danyl, 'cause that's a name that kinda wants to surface as well. His eyes are purple and hair... well it wants to be white but kinda black as well at the same time, so might make it grey or something. And that's all we know about him so far, we're trying to figure out a base for personality to grow into but it feels wrong somehow, so might just let it all come naturally over time, even if it takes longer. Roska is super excited, which is good 'cause I was worried he'd be jealous immediately.
  2. It seems we've decided to have another kid at some point, but we figured we wouldn't do it until at least January. Gotta focus on Roska for now and get him used to the idea so he won't be jealous or anything. But then again, January is a ways off, plenty of time to change our mind one way or another, maybe have it early or not at all. Been just thinking about gender for now, Roska says he wants a brother 'cause he already kinda has a sister in Misa. I guess I don't mind either way. Just a mini update to what we're up to lol.. Interesting though, we haven't intentionally made a tulpa since Nevira, so I don't know if we even know how to do that kinda stuff anymore. I don't expect it to take too long since we already got so many of us, don't have to start without any knowledge on the subject and already know how tulpas work in our head and stuff.
  3. Like we posted in the art thread earlier, Roska has grown wings. He's been watching and admiring all kinds of birds for so long now and suddenly realized there's nothing stopping him from learning to fly too. So he decided he wants to have wings, but because he's such a shy and... well, not insecure but maybe cautious, he felt the need to ask for permission from host, me and L separately. As if any of us would've told him no lol. He's been learning how to cope with two extra limbs now and trying to figure out flying, lots of falling and one collision with a window later he knows how to get up in the air but coming down smoothly is still an issue but he's getting there. He's been having a lot of fun with it, it's nice to see. His wings are completely black feather wings, he tried to experiment with different colored feathers and arrangements, markings and what not, but couldn't come up with anything better than solid black. It's hard to believe that in about a month he's been with us for a full year. In the meantime I've been dreading the absolute worst thing there is about summer; the goddamn thunder. I feel like I'm too old to be so scared of it but I can't help it, it's a dumb phobia. It was really hot yesterday and thunder was forecast for later today and I'm stressing the fuck out. Ok rant over, whatever. It's been ok otherwise I guess, I haven't been depressed in a while so yayy
  4. Hi, so I've been feeling like shit again, so that's why I haven't been posting anything despite saying I'd be writing these for a while. I was really down and depressed and really just wanted to be left alone and go away, don't really remember what exactly I was thinking that time, but it's over now. I'm doing okay again and I'm trying to make the most of it while it lasts. I've been fronting for hours now, for some reason just don't wanna stop even though there isn't much to do. A random energy spike. I even tried drawing a bit (see our art thread if you wanna see : P ), then I've just been chatting away on whatsapp and discord servers (not the tulpa info one, didn't like it much the last time I was in one of those and don't know if it's better and who's there and what not). I noticed my way to type things is a bit or a lot more messy than host's. I guess I'm sorry if it's hard to read. Or maybe it just feels that way to me, idk. Host hasn't exactly been careful with her grammar lately either. An update on the antipsychotics though, no effect on us. At least not yet, or so small that it's not noticeable. It just gives her headaches and makes her hands shake. And made her focus a lot better and now she doesn't need to sleep as long as before, so I guess some benefits. Nothing too big.
  5. We are pretty darn cute, aren't we Does it count as tulpa art when it's art made by a tulpa? It better, 'cause I'm posting it. It's a one-layer speedpaint shit I made in like half an hour. Host hasn't been drawing and I don't know I wanted to help I guess.
  6. I don't think host would want that. Neither would I. Not only is host's body kinda gross to me, being the wrong gender and probably heavier than my actual form would be despite being shorter (shortly put yeah, she's overweight), but I'd be separate from L and Roska. Assuming we're not all clones of our host. And even then it'd be super weird, I'd have to a clone of her as a clone of her? Yeah no.
  7. Best: Ayu Worst: Scat Theme: furniture
  8. Hi Rouge. I read your name as rogue first, but Rouge does sound way cooler, at least to me lol
  9. Rejoice for I have graced you with my presence Or something. Hi, I'm stopping by
  10. Honestly, looking back on this, it seems host just overreacted. The thought of not being able to continue the PR made her feel sad for the first time in literal years, and combined with what's been going on in our personal lives, I don't think she thought about things long enough before posting. Which I obviously understand, I was there, but still, it's not that big of a deal. I understand the rules against in-system conversations in threads, because without the rule it could easily get excessive and make room for roleplayers and make the text unnecessarily hard to read, when a whole conversation can be summed up in "she said x and I agree", or "we thought that y z, though, he was against it at first" or something like that. Host has included short dialogue transcripts before, and most likely will again at some point if what we say seems funny enough for her or if they're necessary to portray personality, but I think that's different from conversation that happens at the time of writing, or excessive dialogue documentation. We've never received warnings or complaints about anything, not even my dumb ass venting, so is there really any reason for us to worry? Hell no. She's still a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing, but I'm not so here I am. Our posts may be diary-like but most of the time they stay on topic of what's going on with tulpas, mixed with some general information about what's going on with hosts mental state and life situation, which I think is sometimes important to "set the stage", so to speak, to give context and to possibly later see if that had any effect on anything else going on at the time. Some of it doesn't look like progress at the time of writing, but looking back to them there's always something different. I suppose post creation character development is still progress to one direction or another. And now with Roska there's a whole new person to observe and document. He's never had a Christmas, new year, spring or even a birthday, seeing as he is less than a year old, and I'm looking forward to seeing his reactions to everything. I love that I get to be a part of those experiences for him. Honestly, the thought makes me tear up a bit, as lame as that is. Speaking of him, we tried to figure out his taste in music the other day, but he seems to be too young (in both senses of the word) to have a specific taste yet, and he couldn't really give any feedback when asked about it. Anyway, yeah, looks like I'll be writing these until host feels better about it.
  11. It probably won't be forever, only so long she can keep away from posting. But for now, eh.
  12. Desmond


    Ok, a hot dog is not a sandwich but could a taco be a hot dog or vice versa?
  13. I'd rather it be an event too. It'd probably be more fun and it doesn't sound as serious. Not that I'd personally take part either way, I don't have the patience to draw anything
  14. Art contests could be arranged like they do with entrance exams to art schools here I guess. They don't look at skill as much as they do potential and composition and stuff like that or something. Creativity. Host had a classmate who couldn't draw shit but he was in the class with them and ended up focusing on photography while her cousin who could draw didn't get in. And yeah, I have time to hang around refreshing the page so here I am lol. Generally speaking I'm doing fine.