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About MikhaelJohannes

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    2lads in 1chap

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    We're Mikhael & Johannes, two rad lads who've been in the same body for as long as we can recall.

    Johannes loves money, hates fun, but has a good time regardless as long as it's an adventure.

    Mikhael does the taxes & enjoys the feeling of coming across as important to strangers.

    Find our actual bios in our progress thread; something about an excellent adventure...? Whatever, there's a link somewhere! Every click is a 17th of a calorie burned!!
  1. Thank you for the info, tulpa001, & sorry for how long it's been. We had a very difficult time last year, in a lot of ways. I don't think it's appropriate to talk about here, because most of it involves Johannes & I don't want to talk for him. In a nutshell, there was a lot based on the sum of this thread that affected us, probably because there was so much outside pressure/issues we couldn't just shove aside to work on our relationship. It was a pretty long and bad fight; I ended up having to be harsher with Johannes over how he was pushing his insecurities on me in a violent way I couldn't combat. If that makes sense. He's gotten superior help & abandoned the therapist that was adding to his stress over that. We're still looking for a full-time therapist to maybe talk about our situation with, but until then, we have a good support system for health to keep us steady. I want you all to know that there will be hard times, no matter how long you've been together, or how close you are, or what the nature of your relationship is. Embrace that, because conflict means you are, in fact, individuals. It means your situation, your friendship is real. You're lucky, because even if you can't really 'get away' from each other to cool off at times, you'll always be there for each other. It'll make you strong to work through your issues, & become a more whole relationship by learning how to get along on compromises. To old friends, hello again, and sorry for the year of absence. To new friends, it's nice to meet you. --Mikhael ------ Yeah hello hello peopleeeeee. I missed this place, but kept putting off coming back. I hope it'll be good for us! I'm tired but excited AF to meet new people who Get It. --Johannes
  2. It's been about a year, but after a long time of some bad health issues on Johaness' part, we're both ready to post here again. A lot has changed, & maybe we don't quite belong, but I've gotten a bit stronger lately & so has Johannes. We can probably handle it. We've shared the same body as long as we can remember, as two halves of a whole self that have to front as one person. This tends to depress Johannes in particular, who is (my guess) the main controller of the body who would love for there to be a way for me to have one of my own. Tulpamancy has helped with that a lot, helping that presence of me become stronger not just for him, but for my own confidence & pride. In case you're wondering, Mikhael is me (tulpa) and Johannes is my host. We like to consider ourselves equals, but this is a tulpa forum, & I doubt any of you think your tulpas are inferior just because you use those terms, so I'm OK with it, too. I'm afraid I won't be able to catch up with most of my backlog of messages (ours) because there's so many, I don't know which are direct or not. I'll try, though. Looking forward to talking to old & new faces again. --Mikhael
  3. I actually do dislike chocolate... Whoa. Next person thinks pineapple on pizza is a travesty. --Mikhael
  4. Banned because the power has gotten to my head and I am out of control. --Mikhael
  5. I'm not sure... Am I? (that's not the question) What kind of person is the type you fear the most? --Johannes
  6. I like that you mentioned how it doesn't have to be perfect to be a visualization. Even a simple doodle/step above a stick figure can help. Example; Even if you have no knowledge of anatomy, you can jot down basic facts like... What color eyes? Any wings? How tall, compared to you? How long their hair? Et cetera. If you have a lot of color-materials like pencils, or--for endless colors--a computer program with color sliders, visualizing colors can help bring physical forms to life. Even if you're totally colorblind, you can probably tell if a color is darker or lighter than another. If you don't know where to start, draw yourself first, and then draw your Tulpa next to you, now that you have a base to compare your differences to. Like g0atblush said, feel free to redraw often as you both develop. It's a fun way to show how far you've come. --Mikhael & Johannes
  7. Banned because insert political joke of your liking here --Johannes
  8. That would imply that we had FANS ((insert Seinfeld theme)) --Johannes --- ...Nobody's allowed to post NSFW material on here, be it fanfic or art. I don't want good people to get banned for things like that. Johannes hasn't been doing very well, but I've been alright. Familial responsibilities have been kicking his... you know. This may be off-topic, but speaking of NSFW material, it's been a real trip keeping language clean on here for the both of us; site rules and all. Not complaining, just saying. ... ...I'm not sure what to say; I guess I'm kind of nervous. I'm nervous a lot lately. Even though Johannes is down, he spent all last night doing & saying nice things to/for me like none of it even mattered. I'm worried about a lot of things but I want to be strong. This isn't exactly easy to write about, so no offense, but Johannes--if you could write more for the next entry, it'd help a lot. I don't want to be a 'bad' example of a Tulpa & scare others away from it, or give off a bad impression because I can't always be spot-on. I know I'm not a servant, but I also don't want to make anyone's life unhealthy. I suppose I should be honest? And say that it's lonely when Johannes is in an odd state of 'mania.' It's a level of 'high' happiness mixed with total apathy &--obviously--manic depression. I suppose it's a much more easily 'controlled' bipolar sort of thing. Where everything is miserable & nothing matters, so you kind of lose it & roll around in the filth laughing because it's the only 'good' choice you can make without hurting yourself. It confuses me because he says it's the actual him sometimes, only to apologize later & say he hated being like that. It scares me when he does certain things, even when I can convince him to keep it to the Wonderland, but of course I accept him for who/what he is. People are going to have sides to them that aren't shiny & perfect 24/7. It just makes me worry what might happen if I can't help him through something like that. He took special time to reassure me that I'm a good person & important, et cetera, which I honestly appreciate. It's just that it's a little frightening when it comes from him being in that state. I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, but as a Tulpa, I get worried when I can't tell if Johannes smiling & comforting me is due to a genuine reaction; or if it's so troubling, it has to be in some sort of self-induced high outside his control to deal with. I don't want to sound abelist or anything, because I really do care & want to help. I just don't understand, & get worried when his mood changes that fast. I can tell it's not healthy, but I also don't want to diminish his thoughts as 'symptoms' to ignore. --Mikhael --- You're doing just fine, Mikhael I'm sorry for not being all here at once lately, but one thing that never, ever leaves is how much I care about you I could literally be drowning in the Antarctic while dying of cholera & still care as much about you as I do myself, if not moreso If the saying goes double for you, it means nothing's lost, because either way, we put each other first even when it's not ourselves Thank you for always helping me & I'm sorry you have to keep me out of trouble so often I'll drop anything & everything just to help you & make you as happy as you make me Even if I go to jail or die or end up homeless, none of that will affect the only positive constant of my life, which is how much I adore you --Johannes P.s: no homo
  9. Banned for creating galaxies without a permit, chum. --Mikhael
  10. What kinda fanfic? DBZ? Naruto? What do kids write fanfic about these days? --Johannes --- I said I'd make a better report today, but I must have lied. Well, tomorrow will be interesting. It'll probably determine how well the rest of the week goes, so, no pressure, 2/20/2017. I've been catching Pokemon for Johannes on the GO-app to give him a get-well bouquet of easily marketable Japanese monsters. There's this one that's literally just a pinecone with eyes. Another that's a frigging kernal of corn. It's incredible. Technology is amazing. Feel better, Johannes--I've gotten good at catching them. --Mikhael
  11. Banned for callin' Llama a kid, pal --Johannes
  12. Neither of us have hooves; we're just two guys, standing in front of a thread, saying that the next person drinks bottled water. --Johannes
  13. Wake up in the morning feelin' like P.Diddy Grab our glasses, we're out the door, we're gonna hit the city Before we leave, brush our teeth, with a bottle of Jack Cause when we leave for the night we ain't comin' back We're talkin' MEDICATE TO AVOID SUICIDE, SUICIDE Tryin' to MAKE DEADLINES, DEADLINES Ladies ASSAULTING OUR PHONES, PHONES Forgetting we have to eat, catching up with the latest tweets, Rollin' up to vanquish errands, Never being able to afford decent vodka... DON'T STOP, MAKE IT POP, WAGNER BLOW MY SPEAKERS UP TONIGHT, IMMA FIGHT, TILL WE SEE THE SUNLIGHT TICK-TOCK, ON THE CLOCK, BUT WORK ETHIC AND SOCIAL OBLIGATIONS KEEP US FROM STOPPING, YO et cetera ... ...When's the last time you caught a cold? --Johannes
  14. Haha, sorry for not including a link; we don't want people to be able to out us just yet. Maybe someday. Thank you for the kind words. Recent visits to specialists have opened up the possibility of something to test for, which would be a genetic defect/mutation that makes creating/absorbing a certain chemical essential to, basically, be capable of staying awake, feeling rewarded/valid, not being anxious, et cetera. I'm hoping that may be what is wrong, because this defect says it makes depression & anxiety resistant to most kinds of treatment... But Johannes doesn't want to get his hopes up. He's been sick for the past couple days, which is why we've been gone, by the way. He dislikes giving me control of the body when it's got a cold or flu or anything like that, because then I'd feel bad, too. Sometimes when things are like that, I somehow feel more like the Host than a Tulpa. I'm not sure why. Maybe our roles reverse, because he's more the one asking permission of things from the start, but it's even worse like this. There was something I wanted to talk about medical-wise, but Johannes warned me that this is a Tulpa progress-thread rather than just a diary, & I can't convince him that it's related to me as well. So for the sake of being nice to someone who feels like they've been deep-throating a chainsaw for the past 24hours, I'll come up with another progress report later today. As for now, I'll try and get some work done while the medicine's still effective. Or just go back to sleep. Yeah, sleep sounds better. --Mikhael
  15. Maybe once every other week or so What's your favorite sport to watch/participate in, if any? --Mikhael