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jeb0211

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Everything posted by jeb0211

  1. Disclaimer: I do not promote the use of any drugs and everything written in this post is fictional. Yes, I haven't posted any logs for a ling time. Once again, I was busy, but it was because I've been experimenting. We've been trying magic mushrooms. We had some good results, and I hope someone can find this report helpful. Before I really get into it, I have to tell you that posting this was a very hard decision. I still am not sure about this, because here in my country drug laws are very strict. A joint will get you locked in prison for about a year. I usually don't care about it when
  2. Sorry, I was planning to update this last Saturday, but I got sick. I feel much better now, still coughing a little bit though. So, we reconstructed our wonderland. Our plan was to modify her house and get rid of my house. Although my house was bigger, we wanted to use more familiar one. (I actually wanted to leave my house there or make some use out of it, but Jessie said it would probably disappear if we don't give it enough attention anyway. I got convinced and decided to focus on one house.) And our houses were in the middle of nowhere. We were surrounded by hundreds of miles of grass
  3. Week... erm... 21! I have been really busy so I wasn't able to write a PR. To be honest, I'm still busy and I shouldn't be writing this, it's literally 2 days left until my final exam. :( Although I've been busy, I tried my best to spend time with her. We chat while walking my dog, and before bed we usually spend about an hour cuddling and kissing so total of around 3 hours of forcing time per day. Plus some unscheduled passive forcing. Quite a lot of things happened, first I had few ego dissolution while active forcing. It didn't last long, but had a big impact on me. I'm still h
  4. Week 10. Now passive forcing is much easier. I can notice when she wants attention. I think our technique is good enough at this point. We can communicate accurately, so it's not different from a relationship between two people. Both of us don't find possession or switching interesting. Yes, it is a fun activity, but we don't find it practical. So we aren't working on that.
  5. Week 7. It has been a rather draining week. Seriously, I have to learn how to manage my stress. I can't passive force at all. Now her voice is mush clearer. And faster. We tried some philosophical questions and her logic and metaphors were really impressive. Imposition, especially visual, improved a lot. Now when she changes her clothes, hairstyle, accessories etc, I can notice the change right away. We didn't practice possession so no progress there. I really should update more frequently, since she really likes writing and thinking about ourselves. Maybe we should include this to ou
  6. Helloooooo! We're back! It has been a crazy week. I had no time to make a post. My skills (or her skills) improved a lot, especially tactile imposition and independence. Now I can feel multiple contacts at once. Hugging feels quiet real, I can feel her hands running up and down while I do the same. My sense of touch also got improved, although I rarely have the opportunity to use it. He is so busy ;_; She talks and moves in more natural but unexpected ways. She doesn't talk much tho, I want her to be more talkative but I guess that's who she is. She now can possess my hands easily, we'
  7. We'll try but she can't even draw a straight line :p Hope it gets better with practice. But I can insert one. Watch-*click* It's been 4 weeks! Yayyy! Today we went to a concert. We both really loved it. Nothing special tho. I see small details of her changing. Her hair style is the most noticeable and frequent change. It is fun. For the both of us. But it's not a shape shifting game tho, it is a permanent (pun intended?) change. I got not much to say but I just wanted to make a post for our 4 weeks special. And it's half an hour past midnight so technically it's 4 weeks+1 day. Bye.
  8. School went smoothly. Nice teachers, nice classmates. Everyone was much nicer then I expected. But school wasn't what I expected. I thought I could talk and learn together with him (which is very sweet) but no, he was very busy listening, taking notes, etc so there was no time to talk. Because I'm not an experienced host it's hard to communicate when I'm busy. I think it will get better with time and practice. And we're digging possession again, since we both don't like imposing in front of people (it feels weird, you know, it feels like people's watching us.). She was able possess my right
  9. Thanks for the explanation, being imposed sounds doable. Tulpa001, We actually read your guide. It was fun and helpful. Thank you! Although he sucked, It was fun :p Summer, That sounds fun, now we need to wait for a creative person to show up and decide us a form. :D We both suck at making random decision. Hehee, thanks for a new activity anyway :) Argh, it's tomorrow! Tomorrow, I go back to school. Well, now I should go and fully enjoy the last day of my school break. Bye.
  10. (This green tea is amazing.) (Nice intro, sir.) Hello, we're back. Well, I missed posting PRs ;) Let's get straight in, shall we. We stopped practicing possession. She thinks being imposed 24/7 is enough for physical word interaction. She is not wanting a body, yet. My host is very anxious about going back to school but I'm kinda exited, class sounds really fun. She still loves hugging and kissing. And still a bit lewd. Buuuut now she can control it. Well, at least she thinks she can. Now he eats a lot of chocolate because of his anxiety. Thanks to that he is becoming more cushion-y and c
  11. I'm going to try but 171 page book written in English might be a little hard for a Korean high school student to read. If my 9$ turns out to be too long or too hard to read then I'll blame you ;)
  12. I just talked with Jessie, about how bad host I was and everything. And her response was, "What? so you mean logic isn't beautiful?" Gave a second thought, and I realized that everything is beautiful. Thank you for throwing us such an amazing topic. And it's okay to be imperfect, imperfection is what makes us beautiful! Duality again. without ugliness, no beauty can exist.
  13. That's very sweet! I never thought of showing my tulpa beautiful things, I feel like a bad host. ;_; I believe she became happy and enthusiastic because you are like that in the inside. I mean, the first thing you did to her is showing her beauty. The first thing I did to my tulpa is to make her go against my opinions. Now I feel like a bad person. ;_;
  14. Yeah, that was my answer too, but we (and other tulpas) are too separated to be one. Just because we share the body doesn't make us "one". And actually at that period she was a logic machine without much emotions well i had emotions but it was crude and uncontrollable. She didn't like physical contacts and felt uncomfortable about the emotions they bring. Frankly I really envy you and Alexandra's progress, since I believe emotions are much more complicated then logic.
  15. According to my log, 2 weeks it the point where she asked me about spirits and souls. She asked me "What if we die and becomes souls? Are we gonna be one ghost or two ghosts?" and honestly we still don't have a neat answer. I don't know, can we 'make' spirits? Really, what are we? Souls in the body or just complicated machines?
  16. Ah, I have the same issue! Impulsive, intrusive thoughts. This might help you but it's pretty basic, so you might already know this. What I do is acknowledging the thoughts. When I notice them I just observe. I know if I don't feed them with my attention, they'll go away. (And 'trying to stop' action counts as giving attention) I just let them flow. I Just try not to add anything to that thought. It's not easy, I know. Especially when you're tired. But when you habitize yourself, it's the most powerful way of getting rid of intrusive thoughts. Ooh, this is interesting! I'm really curious a
  17. Thank you for reminding me the forum rules, I read it all but I forgot and made a mistake. I'll make myself familiar with the rules. I'm sorry. And glad it's not a big problem. I hope this phase passes soon, but at the same time I want to thank it as it has been a good opportunity to think about love and sex. Both of them are so complicated things, and the complexity fascinates me. He is a sophisticated pervert. Talking about love. We went to the theater to watch La la land. He almost cried at the theater. Yes, the movie's ending was cruel. But also was an amazing movie, so go watch it if
  18. Hmm yeah it might be breaking the rules. So what do you think, would her action (or lewdness in general) be a problem? I don't think normal people (or tulpa) do this. She is.. weird. I heard tulpas being addicted to sex or confusing the consept of love and sex. Well at this point I highly doubt that she would confuse the comsepts but sex addiction is a real possibility. To be honest I like her teasing me but I don't want her to be a sex addict. Maybe I'm just overthinking this :p I don't know. And always thank you for reading and replying our log, it helps a lot.
  19. Had a pretty busy day. I finished all my mycology work. All grain jars sterilized and inoculated with freshly arrived shiitake spawns. And now all we have to do is wait. Yes, I know. Nobody cares about my fungi life. Only my tulpa life. Well, we also had a pretty fun time together. Our (actually her) chocolate intake tripled lately. She has been making me eat half a Hershey's chocolate bar (that 7 oz or 200 g one) a day. Jess, please think about our body. She has spend most of her time imposed, and she has been hugging me all day. She's in a good mood lately. I now understand why y
  20. Friends? You got one in your head. That's enough, don't you think?
  21. My tulpa here felt really uncomfortable reading this so I had to write this. Although keep in mind that we're also a newbie just like you. All below is her words, we won't use italic font as this is going to be quiet long. First, stop personality forcing! He looks sentient enough. He already has his own mind, you should not try to change it forcefully. Talk him out. Just narrate your feelings honestly. Even he won't answer just talk. He is listening. He is thinking and he is feeling. As a mind living in the same brain he can understand you completely. No misunderstanding will occur. Which
  22. Yes it might be tiring. Well you don't have to be aware of everything around you, being aware of yourself is enough for this purpose. Just try being aware of your thoughts, feelings, and senses. Just for an hour a day, while you do your cooking, homework, watching silly cat video, etc. idk, it helped me a tremendous amount. It might be rather unefficient for doubt issues tho. But I think it will pay off in the long run, so.
  23. Oh actually mindfulness meditation dosen't need time assigned for it. It's like passive forcing, you do it while you're doing other things. It helped me a lot, so maybe it might help you too. (And we're loving your log, I just wanted to tell you <3)
  24. I understand. But in tulpamancy (and altered state of consciousness practicing in general) being open minded and believing yourself is the most powerful tool you can have. Maybe belief implanting or mindfulness meditation could help you with doubth issues, I recommend you trying them.
  25. Well there's two known tests. First is to ask your tulpa to surprise you, and the second is the prism test. At the surprise test, if your tulpa can surprise you, you can think they're sentient. Prism test done by visualizing you putting a prism on your tulpa's head and then balancing a feather onto that prism. And then focus hard on that feather and visualize it swinging left and right. If your tulpa is sentient they won't let you do that, by tilting their head or in my case blowing the feather away. But I don't recommend you doubting your tulpa's sentience, just believe and they'll grow m
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