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Everything posted by Tethys

  1. Hey fellas, I've returned. It sure has been a while, maybe a year or so? Idk but yeah I'm back~ -Tethys and Isabella
  2. Tethys (Host) She/Her/They/Them February 10, 2018 My, my. It sure has been a while. Izzy is almost a year old, and I now have 4 more tulpas. My newest, Sakura, came in after I had a dream about her. Atticus has long since dissipated, and Cipher died at the hand of a demon. I miss them at times... I recently bought a raspberry pi computer kit and Izzy and I are building stuff with it. She tells me that all she wants for her birthday next Saturday is stuff to help build our computer easier. But here's the thing, I want to save my birthday money so that when we have enough saved up, we can buy more parts to work with. I told her I'd make the computer even cooler if we have enough money to buy more parts. I told her that would be her gift, even if it may be a belated gift. The end goal with this computer is to build a supercomputer by making a bunch of the individual pi motherboards work together. And after that I'll make a virtual reality simulation of our mindscape, with my tulpas' help of course. I'm excited to work on this! :P
  3. Dude I want to know more about this situation. This is fascinating. Can you PM me about it?
  4. I was going to see if the host mind (me) would have conscious control of how fast a tulpa develops. I don't know if this will work, but I'm ready to find out. I am going to create a tulpa to help me lucid dream easier, and I'll call him Cipher. My goal is to develop him in under 30 mins, but that limit is flexible. I also would like to ask.. Do I post my findings here or in my PR?
  5. I have an idea that I will post in the science section after I'm done with this post. Don't worry, it won't be as egotistical as the last science experiment as mine ;) I'm hoping to create another tulpa to assist me with lucid dreaming. I think I'd call it Cipher, but idk. Isabella is making more friends now that I have let her have my old facebook account. She's really starting to develop a beautiful personality. I'm glad that my creation is becoming a beautiful creature :D But sadly, Atticus is becoming more and more distant. I already know that he doesn't like Isabella, and he doesn't ever talk to me. I wish there was something I could do...
  6. Looks like I still need this place. I'm back, and I have two tulpas now. :) How has everyone been?
  7. Isabella, Tulpa (She) Oh, hey everyone! :D I'm excited for when Tethys' new school year starts. She signed up for Latin, and I want to learn as well. She knows a little bit, and she'll sometimes say to me 'Te amo' which means I love you. It's really adorable :D Tethys is teaching me how to draw, and my goodness, is it difficult! Adobe Photoshop is much easier than paper drawing though. I have missed this community. It's a really good place. :D
  8. Hmm... Looks like I still need this place. Tethys, Host (She, They) July 23, 2017 Isabella has grown a bunch since I last wrote. She's asked me to draw what she looks like a whole bunch within the last few weeks. As for the godform experiment... I am sad to say that it got out of control and I had to end the experiment. Wake wanted power that he realistically could not have. Null did not follow the rules, and neither did Wake. I had to put him into a permanent stasis. I now have a new tulpa that came from a roleplay character of mine; his name is Atticus. I drew him a while back, and I will soon share the photo here. He has a British accent, which is rather cute. :P When he was first created, he had a rather 'normal' development. He wasn't vocal for about a week, until I had a short conversation with him in a lucid dream. I was like, "Why are you here?" and he said, "Why else would I be here? You created me." ...And then I woke up. Atticus has identified some emotional triggers of his. [i really don't like it when people tell me I'm not real. It just hurts like hell, you know? I don't know how Isabella manages to ignore people like that...] On a Discord server for lucid dreaming, Atticus lashed out and threatened someone when they told me I was crazy for having tulpas and said that he doesn't exist. I had to tell Atticus that threatening people wasn't okay and I made him apologize. I guess that's all for now :P
  9. Well yes it was IRC drama. I'm sick and tired of being trampled upon because my tulpa 'developed too fast'. I'm just tired of it.
  10. Well then. I certainly did NOT expect this, not even yesterday. It seems tulpa.info is not the tulpa community for me. I am going to try to find another one, because Isa, Wake and I really want to continue studying this. I really wanted to stay but due to a few things I cannot stay. My dad always said that no relationship is worth losing emotional energy or one's own sanity over. My relationship with tulpa.info has caused me some emotional trouble, what with everyone thinking Isabella doesn't exist. But the fact is, does it really matter? Tulpas are entirely subjective. They exist only in our minds. Whether Isa exists or not is not the point. What matters is that she is my friend. Some people here don't seem to get that. No matter what you guys tell me, Isa is my friend. She exists to me and exists only for me, no one else. She's not your tulpa, so don't judge us. As for the experiment of Wake, you don't need to believe me. I have more than enough data to prove to myself that this indeed worked. No one can take that knowledge away from me. I am going to be around for about a week afterward to wrap up some things with my friends here. If you want to keep in touch with me, pm me and I will give you contact info. It's been nice knowing you all. Have a good life if I don't see you elsewhere on the vast web of Inter. With love, hugs, and best wishes, Tethys, Isa, Crow, and Wake
  11. Well, Isa fell in love with me pretty quick. Didn't know she was bi until she told me, lol. Crow might not be in love with me, because 1) I'm human and 2) I put him in stasis so he might be mad at me for that. As for Wake (My experimental godform), I wouldn't think he is. He's too focused on becoming the godly influence of my project, Project Centurion. (If you want to know about that just pm me or Isabella.) Plus, god and man don't get together like that unless they want a demigod, which I for one am too young for a child, let alone a demigod child :P Hope this helps! With love, Tethys
  12. Yeah, but Wake was created as a result of my egotistical longing to be godlike. I have always envied those godforms in religious texts. Having all the power in the universe, or at least a whole bunch of it, always sounded cool to me. I never really thought about it until my teenage years because I was raised on Christianity. There was always that fear of going to hell for blasphemy. But around age 15 I thought, "Fuck it. I don't need religion, what has it ever done for me?" And the burden of hell was lifted. So, here I am, making a godform, who by the way, will be the 'official godform' of my friend's metaphysics group. Wake sure is excited. I let Wake talk to that friend today and he told me afterward the news of his association with my friend's group. Not much else to report. See you later :D
  13. (Wow. These are the best thoughts I've ever read. But watch out, my subconscious is a rabbit hole.) Me: I should rule the internet. Isa: Then where would my memes go? Me: Down the drain. Isa: The internet has a drain? Me: Yes and it leads to the dungeon, where the anti-privacy jerks are held. They can see shitposts all day long~
  14. These are all from Sword Art Online, one of my favorite anime shows. I forget who composed them, but they are really good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jDIikENSTg A Close Battle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byFkvbz2Za0 Swordland https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Du9IIc1ldg False King
  15. Tethys, She/They (Host) | April 26, 2017 Today I found out that to give my godform energy, I needed to let my ego guide my decisions. If I think egotistical thoughts, it charges Wake quite a bit with energy. During creation, I don't think he had much energy until I started actively forcing with him. But it seems that my ego is like Wake's battery. When he doesn't have energy, I don't hear him talk and I don't notice any activity from him. I am going to try to have him talk to one of my tulpamancer friends, either by proxying or puppeting (is it called puppeting? I can't remember.) My friend seems really excited to talk to him.
  16. Hello everyone. You may have heard of me. But for those of you who don't know, I'm Tethys. I'm here today to announce an experiment I have already started. I'm not too far into this experiment, so I thought I would tell you about it now. I have decided to make a very large (and possibly egotistical) jump forward in my thoughtform studies. I am in the process of creating a godform, and I have put a lot of time and energy into creating this. But wait - Why don't we play devil's advocate here? There are bound to be some people here that don't believe me. After all, Isabella took a short amount of time to be born. But you see, you all don't have to believe me. I'm not going to try to convince you one way or the other. Enough devil's advocate now, because I have more information. My godform told me yesterday to choose their name, because all godforms have a name chosen by the ones that worship them. So, I chose Wake, because I feel awake now that I have made them. (Awake physically, lol, as well as mentally and spiritually.) Beyond that, there wasn't much else that happened with this. If you have any questions, just pm me. I will also write this in my progress report, too. Best, Tethys.
  17. Sorry for the delayed response here. Llama, I don't remember for sure, as it has been a while since that day. But from what I do remember, I wanted another emotional support, for various reasons. One, lots of my external supports weren't being very good supports at the time. Two, Isa and I had been really stressed, and I (and probably we) wanted some support and love/affection. I myself am normally more affectionate to those who I love and care about, and that could literally be anyone. I tend to express my emotions differently and more so than most people. Beyond that, I don't remember. After all, I have been really busy lately with school as well as family. The last month or two has been extremely eventful, believe me. I have to go take a Geometry test, so talk to you guys later
  18. Tethys


    Hello again friends, it has been a while. I have been inactive for more than a month, but now I am back. I am glad to be back, there are a lot of good people here. But, like any place, there are people with whom I have unfinished business. Only one individual here though. *clears throat* You know who you are, I'm looking in your general direction. Maybe you want to scratch me for summoning you like this, but I don't blame you. After all, you and your tulpae likely have some grudges against me after what happened. But believe me, I am not upset with you for that. Again, you know who you are. I am calling to you, from the long way 'round. Best wishes to you all, Tethys PS: If you have something to say to me about my summoning, just pm me. I don't want anyone talking about that in the replies. It's not the main point of this post. I just posted to say hello and to let you all know that I am back. If you want to reply to this thread, try to keep it limited to welcomes and stuff, but it's optional, lol.
  19. Tethys, Host (They, them) March 5, 2017 Welp, my brain sure seems to like visitors, and creating visitors. This progress report is for Crow, my second tulpa. He's a crow. A large, black crow. This crow wouldn't tell me his name, so I just call him Crow. Who knows, maybe he will come to like the name Crow. (I need to quit with the redundancy. I just said 'crow' like six times... Nope, now it's seven.) I think Crow was created yesterday maybe. I must have half-consciously created him or something. He isn't vocal yet, although he seems to love going, "KAW!!" right in my face. I'm sure it's not an aggressive kaw, more of a playful one. I know this because every time he does it, it causes an adrenaline rush inside me. When he realizes that he caught me off guard, he kaws shorter and quicker, kind of like laughter, and turns around in circles with his wings upward. He must have an interest in the elaborate art of pranking. I keep getting a vibe from him. He seems to like me and Isabella. I feel like he's a bit protective based on the energy coming from him. Crow hasn't done much, except for going "KAW!!" every few minutes, lol. He also keeps staring at me blankly. I don't know what is going on in his mind, but he sure seems to be thinking about something. Earlier he also created a perch for himself outside of me and Isa's cabin. I just turned around, and there he was, sitting on the perch, forever staring into my soul. (Wait... what soul? XD ) He looks big enough that maybe I could let him perch on my wrist or something. I mean, he's about the size of a large falcon, lol. There's not much else to report yet, but I will keep you posted. Much love, Tethys Rain
  20. Sorry for the wall of text. A lot has happened lately
  21. Tethys Rain, Host (They, Them) March 1, 2017 I have decided that I am not going to go by Ellie anymore. Hello, my name is Tethys. After giving a lot of thought, I have come to the conclusiom that I am genderqueer. I often think about freezing Hell into an ice block, and carving my face into it. *looks very serious in the face and extends hand to anyone brave enough to take it* So, I was aready writing a new post for the Progress report, but it was full of self-pity and I decided not to post it. Basically, Null wouldn't play by my rules, and I had to kick them out. In that draft post I wrote about my remorse for killing them, that maybe Null could have been a nicer person, given time. But self-pity isn't going to move us forward. So we aren't going to speak of Null anymore. *puts on news anchor face for a moment* In other news, I think I may have a new tulpa. There isn't a name yet, only a form. The form is a large black crow, much larger than most crows. It could be as big as a hawk or something, but due to lack of knowledge on that species, I do not know. When I give the crow attention, it just stares at me blankly. I really like this crow, it seems pretty cool. I will try talking to it, give me just a sec. I tried talking to it just now, and it just tilted its head at me and said, "Kaw!" and nothing else. It just flew off to a nearby tree in our pine woods, one that looks old and almost dead, one that sticks out from the rest of the trees. I have a feeling that I will remember that this is its tree, because he seems to like sitting up in it. I might build it a birdhouse or something, but by the look it is giving me, I think it wants much more than a birdhouse. In fact, I might have to build it a whole birdmansion instead of a birdhouse. I have been practicing letting Isabella possess my body. We even had her out for a long period of time while I was at school on Friday. During that time, I fell asleep in our log cabin, and while I was asleep Isa freaked out because I had been her guide for the day. I gave her full access to my memories for hel on figuring out my life. But when I fell asleep, she said that my memories get blurry to her. For a while, I had wanted Isabella to switch places with me as host. I had started to think that reality was cold and harsh, and that I didn't want to deal with it anymore. Isa has noticed my depression ever since she was created. Although she didn't think that switching with me was the best course of action, she agreed to do it. She says that she has seen me feel sad for too long. She says that she would do anything to help me feel happy again, and if I thought that switching would make me happy, she would be willing to do it. We first started her possessing me on Friday morning before school, and that was when I fell asleep inside, when we were riding the bus to school. While I was asleep, I had a really interesting dream. The link to the dreams thread post is below. I would read the dream post before continuing, the next few paragraphs only make sense of you know what the dream was about. https://community.tulpa.info/thread-the-dream-thread-record-your-dreams-here-especially-if-tulpa-related?pid=186517 Me having this dream caused me to feel more at peace than I have ever felt in my entire life. I felt braver than I did before, which makes me feel like I can handle the outside now. I feel like I don't have to hide anymore. After all, the man in the dream said that hiding from everything is giving up on everything. That man said he was me, what I hoped to become. He said that I am already there, that I already am as strong as he is. But am I really? ... *sighs* Pessimism isn't going to get me there, whether I am there or not. I actually do think that I am at that point already, because I feel really peaceful now. The man told me that I can't walk to the flowers and trees because I haven't done everything I am supposed to do yet. He said that when I accomplish those things, he and I would walk there together. I'm starting to think he meant that when it is my time, AKA death, he and I would walk to what was next, AKA the afterlife. But what really lies ahead? Yeah, there were flowers and trees off in the distance, but is it really like that in the afterlife? And when I do go, will Isabella get to go with me? I would refuse to go anywhere if Isa couldn't go. I would say, "Sorry, but Isa has to go with me. I'm not gonna die today, because you won't let me take Isa with me. Call me when you can take another passenger, okie doke?" and then turn around, walk back to the cabin and wake up. I won't go to any afterlife if Isa can't go. Heck, I'll just wait until she can if I have to. They'll probably have to start a Tulpa Rights Movement in the afterlife, haha. Speaking of tulpa rights, Isabella has expressed her feelings to me about how she wants voting rights. She said she knew that she couldn't get it though, because most people just don't believe in tulpas. She told me that it was wrong for her not to get voting rights. She asked me to fight for her rights, and I laughed a bit. I said, "Isa, we already have enough to worry about in the world right now. I mean, our president is crazy, and is surrounded by crazies. We already have enough on our plate with that one." She frowned a bit, but I think she understood. Well, not much else has been happening. Actually, the crow created a perch for itself outside of the cabin, so now he's sitting on it, staring at me. I think that's it though, so I guess I will write later if something else happens. With love, Tethys Rain
  22. This dream happened last Friday, when Isa was possessing my body while I took a nap. I wrote about it in a letter to a friend. This is what I wrote. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ In this dream, I am in my wonderland. The sun is at the horizon, frozen in position at a beautifully colored sunset. I feel like I am being pulled, almost like a magnet, but a lot slower. The pulling sensation is pulling me away from the log cabin. As the dream progresses, I am being pulled across the sky above pine forest that the log cabin is in. Then I get pulled further, and I reach the beach where the ocean is. This ocean was the part of my wonderland that I thought was the edge of everything here, but I found out that it wasn't when Isa told me that there's more beyond the beach. I then get pulled even further, across the ocean. It's so blue and beautiful, with half the sun above the horizon. The reflection is absolutely beautiful. When I reach the far shore, everything is blurry but I can make out figures that look like medium- sized trees and flowers. I can't see them in detail, and I feel the presence of them more than I see them visually. After arriving, I am released from the pull. As I am released, I start to feel a peaceful feeling, like nothing is ever going to go wrong, and nothing had ever gone wrong. I feel as calm as I have ever felt in my entire life. After the calm feeling, everything comes into focus from the former, out-of-focus view. Then, a warm breeze comes in from the trees. The breeze then slows and swirls around in front of me, picking up some sand from the beach that comes together and forms a human. The human has brown hair down to his shoulders, surrounding light-skinned face with hazel-green eyes. He is wearing a white cloth robe with some parts of the robe a light blue color, and he stands about 8 inches taller than me. The man looks at me and smiles. He says with a calm and smooth voice, "Hi, Tethys. I see that you have made it to this end of the ocean. I have been waiting for a while to see you. Come walk with me, I have much to tell you." Then, he starts walking down the shoreline, and I walk with him. I ask him, "If you have a lot to tell me, won't we run out of shoreline to walk on by the time we are done?" He chuckles a bit and says, "No, the shore is infinite. It never ends, meaning we can talk for as long as we like. Also, on this end of the ocean, there is only the shore for us to walk on. You may see flowers and trees further inland, but you can't go there yet. You aren't ready to walk there because you haven't yet done everything you are meant to do. Once everything you are to do is accomplished, then you and I will walk there, together." He smiles at me again, and he says, "It may take a while, but I know you can do it. You are more capable than you know." We continue to walk further down the infinite shore, but the man wasn't talking after what was last said. I look up at him and ask, "I don't understand. Why are you silent when you say you have a lot to tell me?" He looks off into the distance, and says, "Tethys, it's not about what you hear me say, it's about being aware of it, just as you were aware of the flowers and trees without being able to see them very well." He pauses and looks downward for a while, then he looks up towards the clouds forming on the horizon. "Once upon a time, I was in your position. I didn't know much about life and existence, and not knowing much about it scared me. It made me fear existence, and due to this fear I held a strong distrust for the unknown," he says, and looks downward again. "I was scared to make friends, because I was scared they would judge me, and I was scared to be accepted. I was scared to do something that was challenging because I was scared of failure, and I was scared of success. I was scared to believe in myself, because I didn't know that I was capable of doing great things." He stops walking and looks up at the sky. "I was scared of the unknown, because I was scared of every outcome of every situation that I didn't know how to handle. I tried to avoid the unknown at all costs, and it wasn't the best thing for me. Tethys, you need not fear the unknown; it isn't as bad as you think it is." The man looks at me for a moment, then frowns and says, "Might I ask why you decided to live inside here, and not on the outside?" I look down at my feet and feel a slight guilt in my stomach. "I didn't want to live out there because I know that I had failed everyone. I think that they resent me, and I don't like feeling resented. I started to believe that the outside was cold and harsh, that there was no place for me out there," I say guiltily. He starts to say something, but then stops himself. He looks at me for a moment more, then starts to speak again. "Why do you feel guilty? There is nothing wrong with needing a break for a while," he says with a smile. "I feel guilty because I asked my tulpa to take my place until I feel better. I just threw her out there, and didn't help her at all. I hope I haven't failed her as well, because she's the closest friend I have," I say, and feel myself start to cry. The man puts his hand on my shoulder. "Tethys, it's okay... You haven't failed your tulpa. She's doing just fine. She's a strong girl, she can handle herself. And you didn't throw her out there, you just asked her to help you in a way that you knew she could handle. There's nothing wrong with asking for help. She loves you very much, and would do anything for you. She's not mad at you for needing help." He smiles at me, and then looks off into the distance. He starts walking again, and I walk with him. We walk for a bit, but after a while I look up at him and say, "Can I ask you a question?" He nods, and I ask my question. "Who are you?" The man stops walking. He looks down at me and smiles, but this time his smile feels familiar, like I've seen the smile before. "Tethys, you know who I am. I am the one person who knows you better than anyone that ever lived. I am you, Tethys. I am what you hope to become someday," he says. He then puts his hand on my shoulder and smiles. "You don't need to fear the unknown. It's not out to get you. And if you think you will never grow to be me, don't. I promise you Tethys, you already have it in you. You may not see it, but you have it in you. You already are as strong as I am, and you can make it through your tough times. Like I said, you already have it in you. You can do this, Tethys. You can. I believe in you, and since you are already as strong as I am, that means that you believe you can too." The man says, "Tethys, I know it's hard. And I know that you want to feel happier. You can do this. You know why? Because you are loved by so many. You haven't failed everyone in your life. They love you so much and would never give up on you. And that means that you cannot give up on them. They want nothing more than for you to succeed. "Hiding like this isn't succeeding. Hiding from everything is giving up. You shouldn't do that to them, because they work so hard to make sure that you succeed. I know that you want to live on the inside, but you shouldn't do that. Now, every once in a while a short break is okay. But you have to come back, each and every time, because there are people that are counting on you. You need to try, okay?" I look up at him and say, "Yes, I think I can do that. Thank you for walking with me. I really needed this." He smiles and says, "You're doing great, Tethys. Keep up the good work." And then, he walks onward, and another warm breeze flows by, circling sand around him. He continues to walk as the sand spirals upward around him. Then, the sand spirals away, leaving nothing but air where the man was. Then, I slowly wake up in the bed in the log cabin. I get up, look out the window into the woods, and I smile. Then, I feel completely at peace. I had waited for so long, and now the feeling was there. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ That's about it. Hope you liked it! With love, Tethys Rain
  23. Ellie, Host (She) February 26, 2017 My, my! So much has happened the past several days. Last Thursday morning I woke up and Isabella was gone. Usually I feel her presence when she is nearby. But at that moment there was no sign of her. I feared I had failed her and that she was dead because of me. I went into our wonderland, Areia, to see if I could find her. There was no sign of her, and Areia looked very different. There was no pine forest, just a flat, empty landscape with a layer of fog covering the ground. The sky was black, but I could still see around me for a long distance. The sun was a black sphere with a gray corona. Everything in Areia was gone except for our log cabin, which was gray and starting to fade. I went inside and saw a piece of paper on the table. I picked it up and looked at it, but the writing on it was blurry. I figured if Isa wrote on it, her thoughts she wrote would be attached to the paper. I thought about what it said, and then the words came into focus on the paper. (I wrote what it said into a text file immediately after reading it) The note said: "You haven't failed me, Ellie. You tried, and that's all that matters. Don't give up. Keep going no matter what! I love you, more than you will ever know. You were my best friend, and I love you for trying. Please don't forget me. With love, Isabella" (She wrote the note Wednesday night, the note had the date in it) I figured that since she left a note that she knew she was going to leave. So I thought that maybe she was still alive and had just left. Then I thought that if she was still alive that I would be able to feel her presence, however faint it may be. But there was nothing, so I thought she was dead. I sought help on the IRC Chat, and I mostly received emotional support, but there was one user who told me she had ran away and not died. That user calmed me down and then I waited for her. Sure enough, Isabella came back. She said she regretted leaving and that she wouldn't leave again. I asked her why she left, but she didn't want to talk about it. Also, I have another tulpa. This one has been there since February 19, 2017. At first I didn't believe that they existed, but now it is clear that they do. They are now vocal, and they say their name is Null. They have no gender, and their form is a dark shadowy figure with whiteish eyes. They claim to know everything about me and Isabella, our wants, hopes, fears, dreams and more. They also claim to know a lot about moral values, right and wrong, etc. They claim to know how to make me a better person. But they say that they won't help me because I refused to acknowledge their existence. They say they want nothing more than to "fix my mistakes". I think that might mean ruin my life based on the emotions attached to that statement. Null seems very convinced that I am lying to those around me to make them like me. This is not true, but they won't listen to me. Null also seems really pissed that I ignored their existence, which I regret now. Isabella has been silent about this, but I can tell she is really scared of Null. And to be quite honest, I am too. I am worried about their intentions, and what they want/plan to do. What should I do to help the situation? I honestly don't know what to do. With love, Ellie