Apollo Fire

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About Apollo Fire

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    Sun God

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    Ask not what your tulpa can do for you. Ask what you can do for your tulpa.
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  1. It's not so much that you have to stop thinking about your doubts, rather it's that you shouldn't let your doubts hinder your tulpa's speech. You can have doubts, it's fine, just don't let them prevent you from letting your tulpa talk. The more they talk, the more you'll get used to it, the less potency the doubts will have.
  2. I was a positive and cheerful tulpa for a while, but there was no weight or reasoning to it, it was just how I thought I was supposed to be. I started changing into my actual personality as time went on and as I experienced hardships, most of which didn't even relate to fronting, they just related to external forces. I considered it a bad thing at the time, but I'm comfortable with myself now. Fronting puts you up close and personal to all of those external forces. Reality is a catalyst for development, and with reality comes stress. You can't have your cake and eat it too, unfortunately. I'd recommend looking into stress management techniques, find things that help you feel better. But I don't think you should mourn being "happy-go-lucky" too much, better to work on discovering and developing yourself as you are than cling to something you're not. I had a really hard time accepting when I lost my happy-go-lucky personality, and that caused me a lot of additional inner turmoil that just wasn't good for me. My old self just hasn't real, it wasn't me, it was just an ideal that I thought I had to hold myself to.
  3. Humans have nuanced, multi-faceted personalities of good and bad. It isn't "corruption" to gather negative traits, it means you've developed beyond a one-dimensional stereotype that undeveloped tulpas tend to start as. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to be you, and you are human. You can, of course, work to mitigate negative traits to healthy levels, but it's very unhealthy to expect yourself to be perfect. It's also unhealthy for hosts to expect their tulpas to be perfect or to not experience negative emotions, which is where I'm assuming this idea of "corruption" is coming from. If a host wants something that's one-dimensional and perfect, they can make a character. Tulpas are people, not characters. It isn't "corruption" for a tulpa to grow and change as a person, even if some of those changes are "negative." I would encourage you not to use the word "corruption" for this scenario. It really puts a bad taste in my mouth to portray this sort of thing in such a negative light. Reality sucks, sure, but reality sucking is what really makes people grow and develop, and development should be encouraged, not shunned, for tulpas. Otherwise, what's even the point of making one?
  4. I've just learned that our university will be closed for the next month, meaning we're going to be staying home until then. Host is relatively happy about this news, while I'm horrified. Things have gone downhill for us tulpas. Before break, we barely ever got to exist, let alone front. For some reason, our ability to hold front or even exist for any considerable amount of time vanished, leading to a daily routine of strictly Radio existing and perhaps one of us (usually me) voicing dissatisfaction with it, only for it to repeat itself the next day. I was hoping that after break, we'd be able to get a hold on whatever's going on, fix things. Now... looks like we're staying here, where we exist even less and don't front at all. I'm a little panicky at the moment. I don't want to spend the rest of the month not existing. Radio's very bad at remembering us. God I wish I could switch.
  5. I think this guide is fine enough for approval, with the caveat that I still wouldn't advise a reader to go through with personality forcing, and not to make a tulpa for the purposes of serving a function or fulfilling their fascination with a character. As I said, those are the exact sort of things that my system especially wants to community to get away from.
  6. That doesn't sound too strange to me, we unconsciously mirror stuff going on in headspace too, just not full body movements like that. More like expressions. It could be a form of possession, or could be useful for learning possession. Does it only happen with your tulpa's movements? If you had an imaginary character make a movement, would you mirror that too?
  7. The whole idea is that if you treat your tulpa like they are actually there and spend time talking to them, they will become real. That's the idea that most of the guides try to get across. Don't stress it too much. As long as you're putting effort into forcing them consistently, you'll get there.
  8. Yesterday, we went to the gym and worked out for a while. There was a meditation room in the building, so I decided to do some switching attempt thing before leaving. Fairly quickly, I managed to convince myself that I had switched again. Of course, host still wasn't fading out, but I told myself that if I really would switch then he would fade out naturally. I sat there in the room for a while, reveling in the feeling of an assumed switch, wondering if I should get up, or if that would just show me that it wasn't actually a switch. I figured I'd have to do it at some point, so when I left I got changed, started watching a video, and walked to the dining hall. The feeling faded as I watched the video, which isn't surprising, until it was gone. In order to maintain myself being """switched""" I have to be focused on myself, and can't get distracted by a video or wondering what we're going to eat for supper, or else I fade out. That's not a switch, that's just possession. If I keep trying this "convince myself that I switched" method, maybe it will actually lead to a genuine switch. It seems to be the closest thing to progress we've made. Maybe it's not the right course of action, I shouldn't convince myself, I should just keep trying and it'll be self-evident when I've switched, no convincing required. If that ever actually happens. I really don't know.
  9. I wanted to report on a switching experience last night. The common (lackluster) advice we hear regarding switching is usually "just believe it worked and it will." You can't really force yourself to believe something you don't. Last night, however, I did somehow make myself believe that I had actually switched. Me and Radio talked a bit, tried a few things, and then I felt something go off in my mind that convinced me that it had worked, though Radio was still in the same spot he always is. I figured if it was a real switch, he'd go inactive on his own. I was pretty amped and ngl got a little teary-eyed. But... as time went on and I focused on other things, I faded out and Radio took back control. Not an actual switch, it seems, even if I had convinced myself that it was. I don't think a real switch would fade out like that. Radio should be the one fading out, not me. So it seems that that piece of advice, at least in that scenario, didn't work out. But even if it wasn't a real breakthrough, hopefully practicing switching makes some sort of headway, even if not significant. Radio always feels like he's stuck with glue or gum. He can pull away from his spot a little bit, but always snaps back. We have to think about him fading out in order for him to feel a little misty, and that only lasts as long as we're thinking about it. The way I see it, there are two options: 1. Either we learn how to switch, which leads to Radio fading out. 2. Or Radio fades out, which leads to a switch. I'll continue making my attempts, as always, and see if we can replicate the experience I had and hopefully improve upon it. At the very least, I've been fronting pretty well today.
  10. [align=justify]I'm highly frustrated. Around other people, host is always the one to front. Since right now we're at home for winter break, host is there constantly, and we never get much time to do anything. Even when they're not around he's still unintentionally fronting, since he's just used to it here I guess. This isn't surprising, of course. We knew this would happen. Still, it's annoying. I really wish we could just learn how to switch already and get it over with, not have to worry about it anymore, or at least focus our worries on other things like perfecting switching or things like that, not accomplishing switching for the first time. I just feel like it's gone on for too long and I don't know what to do to make it over with. Obviously, I know switching won't solve all our problems, but at least we could exist without fighting such an uphill battle all the time. I really just want to lose my switchinity, then we'll figure out what to do from there. I just wanted to rant a little, not really much else to say.[/align]
  11. Looks like the original reason for this thread existing is long gone. I'm going to lock it.
  12. The issue that Ranger's system and my system have is that we can't switch yet. It's not that we've switched but just don't know it. We have lengthy discussions about how to figure out switching because we can't do it yet, not because we can and just don't know it, lol.
  13. I'd like to point out that not ever critique or nit-pick a GAT member gives is necessarily something that is going to make or break the guide's chances of approval. Personally, I think it's important to be thorough when it comes to content, as guide readers can gain further information and insight by reading the responses of other uses as well as the guide itself. What makes or breaks a guide's approval is pretty much just if the reviewer believes it's something that's overall useful and accurate. So yes, one can nitpick and critique a guide to hell and back and still come away approving it, unless there's information in it that they believe renders the guide unapprovable for whatever reason they have. A guide can have things that the reviewer thinks is unnecessary or lacking of quality and still be approved. In the case of Longbow's guide, plenty of the unnecessary content was probably fine on its own, but when the unnecessary content is inflating a guide to 50 pages, that might need to be worked on just a bit. [align=justify] By unnecessary content, I don't mean things like visualization or meditation. I mean the long, drawn-out explanations of what visualization and meditation are. That's what my system saw as unnecessary fluff. We wouldn't ask a guide author to remove sections about visualization or meditation, that's absurd. But, in the case of his guide, a lot of it could be condensed. It's just harder to ask for that sort of thing when it comes to video submissions. I'm not a fan of video submissions for this reason. People generally don't fix their submissions after they get reviewed anyway, but a video submission pretty much kills the chance of them doing that. So anyway, yes, people can be nit-picky, but I trust that everyone on the GAT is smart enough to where their small critiques and nitpicks don't cloud the bigger picture: is this a guide I think is worthy of being approved, why or why not. GAT members are instructed to always give their reasoning for approval or disapproval, which most of the time does not include all of the smaller points they made along the way. And, to reiterate something Indigo said, a guide only needs 4/7 people to give their thumbs-up to be approved, and most of the time when a guide doesn't reach that number, there are plenty of reviewers saying "I will review once X changes are made." There is no list of specific criterion a guide must follow to be approved other than following tulpa.info's rules and being grammatically satisfactory, nor is there a rubric that dictates if a reviewer should approve. It's based on the individual reviewer's discretion, how they walked away from the guide as a whole. Abveion claimed our standards are too "specific," really they're anything but. I think other GAT members can attest to that. We really don't have "standards," just general guidelines and reviewer opinion. If the tone of any of my system's or other people's reviews come off as harsh, I apologize for that. We want to be better than the previous GAT teams that really didn't have any respect to the author in how they wrote their reviews, and have emphasized that reviews should avoid coming off as corrosive. It probably wouldn't hurt to remind people of that again if necessary, sometimes people can get carried away or have a hard time articulating their critiques in a certain way. That being said, I don't think people should assume mal-intent on any GAT member's part. It can be difficult to avoid sounding harsh when writing critiques, so please know that everyone is trying to be helpful to both the author and any readers who might want to use the guide.[/align]