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About Solus

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    Pseudo-solace in Solitude


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  1. Hi. I think you made the right decision to keep yourself calm, despite her seemingly disappearing for a short while. I'm sure it was difficult to overcome your worry, but, if everything seems to be back to normal, perhaps there's no real reason to worry? I'm not sure if you meant she wouldn't tell you as in she chose not to disclose the reason why, or she didn't even know, but maybe you could try to compare those three days where she went missing to days when her presence felt strongest. Or, you know, it might be best to just forget about it entirely, and move on. I guess it would depend on how well you think you could handle that. If it seems like you would end up overthinking things in the midst of trying to figure out what could have gone wrong, you're probably better off disregarding it. On an unrelated note, how do you prepare to enter your wonderland, if at all? How immersed in your imagination are you on an average night? The drawings of Chrysalis and you are really dope; I'm just wondering how much focus it takes to be able to visualize all of that. Image-streaming might be a useful tool if you're looking for more clarity w/ your mind's eye; it's worked for some.
  2. I really like the color of his eyes. Are crows his favorite bird or something, or did you just add one in there because it suited the mood? Also, does the scar above his eye have any backstory?
  3. Hi. I don't think you should beat yourself up over what happened at the movies. Horror just isn't some people's thing, you know. Did Bithore know what movie you guys were going to see, or were you trying to surprise him? I have trouble remembering birthdays, too -- mainly because they're unimportant, imo -- but what I do to remember 'em is create events on the Google Calendar site. Maybe that'll help. Try to forgive yourself for what happened and -- if Bithore/Kara haven't forgiven you already -- work patiently with them to strengthen your relationships. It might take time, but that doesn't mean they've given up on you. Bashing yourself won't fix anything. I look forward to hearing about your progress towards switching.
  4. Solus

    Chat Thread

    I agree. I like how he addressed it that way, instead of downright advocating it or claiming it was fake. I'm not familiar with whoever this guy is, tbh, but... perhaps he didn't give a real opinion on it because he believes it could actually be real, yet he doesn't care to look into it further. Dunno.
  5. Being able to hear Summer's thoughts sounds cool. I'm kind of surprised you guys were comfortable with the merge so quickly, not that that's a bad thing. Most people find it disorienting and whatnot, though. Are there any particular lines of thought you can remember Summer thinking while you both were in the dream? Also, IIRC, dreams become more vivid as your recall improves more and more. You can also make your dreams clearer on command if you're lucid.
  6. Hi there. Welcome to the forums. Hmm. Well, first and foremost, I wouldn't worry too much about your feelings towards your colleague. You said it yourself, your interest in him likely stems from the fact he could provide that physical aspect of a relationship you're having trouble finding with your tulpa. I doubt he could ever truly replace what you have going currently. The history the two of you share, the way he understands you like no other; that isn't something you can find anywhere. As far as dreaming of your colleague, I, personally, take whatever message a dream could be sending me with a grain of salt; I would advise you to, as well. I feel they only really have as much meaning as you're willing to attribute to them. Nonetheless, let's pretend the dream did, in fact, mean something for a moment. It's quite clear you don't care for this guy nearly as much as your tulpa, if at all. I definitely agree with your theory that the 'colleague' you saw in your dream was an embodiment of your tulpa. An inner longing for him to be able to take on a corporeal form. This could be the case especially if you consider how you only seem to have these dreams when everything is going fine. Maybe your mind just can't deny how badly you want that touch. Just don't let the dream distract you from the more important things. Your tulpa can probably tell how much this is bothering you, but he might not want to bring it up until you're ready. I suggest you address this head-on. He understands you better than anyone else, so he will likely know you mean well. Explain to him you do have thoughts about this person, but they don't really mean anything. Assure him there's nothing to worry about at all. If imposition isn't working out for you, then, yeah, lucid dreaming is your best bet, in my opinion. Let me know if you'd like some help getting started with that. I know of a few forums you can join and can provide some tips of my own, too. : ) And, I mean, you could continue to try with imposition while you're getting accustomed to lucid dreaming. Who knows, you might get the hang of it someday. Best of luck.