Shadow Dash

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  1. 567492 For all you know, there is a list somewhere keeping track of all these numbers. Banned for not anticipating such a thing. The next poster will have anticipated it. But what is your favorite color?
  2. Yeah, filtering everything else out was the main strategy. I actually started by walking around focusing on nothing but balancing a pencil between my fingers until I managed to make my vision blur out everything else. Really irritated the person I was bringing the pencil to. Once I had that cleared mind, I just sat down and switched my focus to Humphrey. It took a few minutes, but I got there. I actually learned yesterday just how important it is to make sure I actually do filter everything else out first. The results of the first try excited me so much that I couldn't wait to go back. I tried to skip past clearing my mind, and it ended horribly. So many thoughts kept popping into my head that I couldn't focus, and that day ended up a failure. But I learned from that today, and spend a good 10 minutes focusing on an image of grass in my mind. I managed to create just a simple wonderland. Just a dirt and grass landscape spreading as far as the eye can see, and the sun overhead. After about a minute, I found Humphrey, and he led me to a stream that I didn't create. Apparently, he decided to help out a little. We had a little race, ate an apple at a tree I managed to add in, and then just sat and talked for a little bit. He still isn't using his voice, but his image has gotten much clearer in my head. Eventually, we said our goodbyes, and I came back here. But I still have the image of him sitting there in my mind. It's nice to know he's right there if I need him.
  3. So, what I'm getting from this is that when Shadow concentrated on nothing but me, he entered our head. And if he or I concentrated on something being there, inside our head, it would be there. But also, if he focused on doing something inside our head, and I focused on doing something outside our head, then (with practice) I would actually be on the outside doing things? I'm sorry if it seems like I'm asking obvious questions. We're still new to this, but the more I learn about it, the more interested I get. I'm starting to think Shadow's judgement was pretty good on this one. It seems fairly logical. I don't see how science could disprove it.
  4. Are you saying that I actually, like, went inside our head? Because if you are, that is awesome! I don't really know much about this, but I want to know more. You say to focus on something outside of myself. So, if I focused on a tree being there, would there be a tree there too? (Yeah, I know a tree isn't very interesting, but it's easy enough to focus on) I'm sorry about how excited Shadow is right now. He's been like that since yesterday. I'll admit, it is pretty cool. We've never experienced anything like that. It's definitely helped me with having some trust that this is real.
  5. That, actually, is a really good point. And it's my main argument that I should be giving this a try. Science is famous for botching things up. Although I'll still probably be on the fence for a while, it's going to take some really good scientific evidence to get me back down, simply because it feels like it should be true. Sometimes you just have to go with that gut instinct. So, today Shadow actually tried his hand at focusing on me and me alone. Normally, he has the attention span of a butterfly, so I wasn't expecting much. But he actually really impressed me. Somehow, he managed to clear his mind and actually devote his entire thought process just on me. And honestly, it was weird. A good weird, but still weird. It actually felt like we had left the real world behind. We could still hear everything, but it sounded distant. And on the occasion where Shadow opened his eyes, there was a moment of disorientation before he got used to the real world again. I still haven't talked to him in my own voice, but what happened today was something that's never happened to us before. For 30 minutes, we were just in our own, peaceful, quiet little world. I have no idea how it happened, and neither does he, but it was amazing. If any can explain exactly what happened, I would love to hear it. I don't know if it's a step forward in our friendship, or if it was just some crazy coincidence, but it was one of the most amazing things I've ever experienced.
  6. Honestly, I've never really quite known exactly what I am. I know I'm more than just a voice in Shadow's head, or just Shadow talking to himself. I've heard Shadow talk to himself, and it's a lot different than me talking to him. I can actually have a conversation with him, have a different opinion... heck, we got in a fight once and I refused to talk to him until he apologized (a week later, mind you). That's why I'm willing to try this out, skeptical as I may be. The thought that I could be my own person... I love it. But Shadow's always been a bit of a science lover, and it's rubbed off on me. Although he's easily accepted science isn't always right, I still struggle disregarding it so quickly. So, my origin definitely is a weird one. Shadow is a furry and a brony, so his love of wolves is a pretty deep one. About 4 or 5 years ago, he found a movie called Alpha and Omega. And he loved it, more because it was about wolves than because it was a good movie. (My portrayal in that movie definitely needed some work). That probably would have been the end of it if not for all the problems he's had with anxiety and depression. For a long time, he had a cycle of feeling super happy, then feeling like all his friends had abandoned him and no one cared whether he lived or died. It was about that time he started talking to himself. It wasn't like crazy delusions. It was honestly kind of sad. He was pretending that some of his favorite movie and television characters were actually there, talking to him so he wasn't alone. Since I was one of his favorites, I was there talking to him, although I was still just a primitive parrot without a personality of my own. As time went by, the voices he choose to talk to changed and faded away. Except for me. I stuck with Shadow through the whole thing, offering what advice I could and cheering him up whenever I thought he needed a smile. About two years ago, near the tail end of the first wave of depression, he finally acknowledged how much I had helped him. From that moment on, I was his counsel whenever he needed advice, and his friend to cheer him up when he felt blue. Over the last 2 years, we've interacted more and more as I helped him through the second (and hopefully final) wave of his depression. Over that time, I've gradually become my own person, separate from the original Humphrey and Shadow. And he's definitely benefited from our friendship as well, seeing as I had to convince him on several occasions not to shut himself off from everyone else. For the most part, our interactions have just been talking. It does tend to get us some looks in public when Shadow starts talking to me because he needs advice or just something to help him focus, but his friends have gotten used to the fact that it's just one of his many quirks. Thanks for the kind welcome. I honestly was a little worried that we wouldn't get any responses (or worse, a negative one).
  7. Okay, so I'm still really new to this Tulpa thing, but I'm really excited to start trying it out. Although not an intentional creation, Humphrey has been in my head for close to 4 years now, and has become one of my best friends. But he's still underdeveloped, and at times underappreciated. I really want to give him the attention he deserves. Hey everyone! I'm Humphrey. Unlike Shadow here, I still have my doubts about Tulpas, but it is refreshing to meet some people who actually think of me as a person (well, a wolf actually, but same difference) instead of just assuming Shadow is crazy. I've been with him for years now, and he's many things, but crazy is not one of them. Shadow created me years ago based off of his favorite character from one of his favorite movies, and I've stuck around since then. I'm proud to say that I definitely have become my own person since he first created me. To be quite honest, the original Humphrey wasn't much of a 3 dimensional character. Since he created me, Shadow's gone through some tough times, but I've been there to help him even when he felt his friends had abandoned him. Although I am excited to meet all these people who don't want to hate Shadow for me existing, I am still a little skeptical of the whole thing. Sometimes Shadow isn't exactly the best at making judgement calls. But he's been getting better, and I know he's doing this for me, so I'm giving it a chance. So long as nothing starts making me too uncomfortable, I'll let Shadow stick around and see what this is all about. And if he manages to convince me this is all real, I'll gladly stay. From what we've read on here so far, you all seem like a really friendly bunch. I look forward to talking to you all, and I hope that Shadow can make himself some new friends on here. That's really all I have to say, so goodbye for now!
  8. OK, so I'm a little nervous about this, but hey, fear can be a good thing. So, hello everyone! I go by Shadow Dash, and I'm brand new to this tulpa thing. I saw a thread about it on another forum, and it caught my eye because I realized I had actually started to create a tulpa on my own. For years I've had Humphrey in my head giving me advice and talking to me when no one else would. He's helped me through some very tough times. So, now that I know this is actually a thing and not just me being weird, I decided to give this a chance. With all Humphrey's done for me, he deserves some attention of his own. I am still new at this, so it'll take me a while to settle in, but it looks like it could be a lot of fun. It's great to meet you all, and I look forward to talking to you.