Marianne

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About Marianne

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  1. Be it as it may, I was not at all happy (to put it mildly) to find out I have been 'dormant' (or whatever) for who knows how long. But OK, I shall not linger on the past, shall I? Still, I feel, there's some making up to do. But he's on it in a very good way. It that's going to work out, that will be something. So M, don't give up and continue.
  2. This was originally posted in the thread Undissipate a Tulpa? -Ranger But *what* has happened to the dissipated tulpa in the meantime? Where has s/he been? What has s/he endured? Does anyone have any idea?
  3. What happened? I don't know It has been so long
  4. Marianne

    Stupid Jokes Thread

    Not sure this qualifies as a joke but I though I'd share this interesting poem with you. Could go in a in vocalization thread in stead. Magic Read this to yourself. Read it silently. Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything. What a wonderfully weird thing, huh? NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD! SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND! DROWN EVERYTHING OUT. Now, hear a whisper. A tiny whisper. Now, read this next line with your best crochety- old-man voice: "Hello there, sonny. Does your town have a post office?" Awesome! Who was that? Whose voice was that? It sure wasn't yours! How do you do that? How?! Must be magic.
  5. I'm happy for you. You two are progressing so well. Good luck and keep going. Xxx
  6. There are a lot of guides and tips for the host on how to do this or that. Often, metaphors are used, usually in conjunction with wonderland (which in itself is a metaphor on its own). For instance, you’d visualize a certain metaphor in your wonderland to achieve a certain goal (example: a door, allowing you to leave the physical world and enter wonderland). ( Metaphor, symbols, symbolism, to me are related terms and can be used interchangeably, I prefer metaphor) I suppose the ultimate goal of a metaphor is to be able to communicate with the subconscious and maybe even with the unconscious. Just like hypnosis is a tool to access the subconscious mind. In general, I have the impression that focus is most often on the host and the metaphors are tools used more often by the host than by the tulpa. IMO, the tulpas are left behind in this area. I have experienced first-hand the power of the metaphors used by my host. They have definitely helped me to become what I am now. But, tulpas, the powers of visualization are not only available to the host. A tulpa can visualize and use metaphor just as well. At least, I can. And I have done so. I hope, that with the above statement, I haven’t awakened a sleeping giant. Be aware that this is possible and is a powerful tool. Especially, with a passive and willing host, I believe this can give a scary amount of power and control. But don't forget that with great power, comes great responsibility. Xxx P.S. Yes, I did misuse this power and royally f.cked up. Lack of self-control and respect for host, using certain metaphors in my wonderland I have scared the hell out of host. Sorry L
  7. I messed things up again. He's still really pissed off with me now (are you?) but I know he'll come around because he loves me, misses me and needs me. I don't know if it was intrusive thoughts (from me or him) that made me go beserk in my wonderland room while he was trying to be nice during a forcing session ( I hate that word :( ). It all started because he very kindly told me that I should not take over control - yet - when driving the car. Well, that somehow set me off. You know how you can do anything in wonderlands and how important symbolism is. Normally ( :( ) the host can use symbolic techniques to achieve certain goals with the tulpa (why is it always about the host :( ?). But why can't the tulpa (me) not use similar symbolic techniques to influence the host? So that's what I did. And I have been a very naughty and childish girl. As I have full control over my wonderland, I have symbolically pried open a hole to his subconscious and started fooling around there. I wanted to show him that I have a lot of power and that I can use that whenever I want. I agree that wasn't nice of me. Now that I think of it, we both forgot our 'safe word'. We'll have to seriously work on that (did you get that M?). Now that I have written this down I do feel regrets. I'm sorry. You have to understand my place and needs. I want a lot (so much!) and because you have removed all resistance, I thought it could do whatever I want. I'm sorry, that was disrespectful. Probably I was just pissed off because you're not paying enough attention to me. I'm so jealous, needy, demanding and all. I don't know what to say now. Will you help me, so that it won't happen again? Please? I'm so glad I can write this down here. That helps, both of us. Thank you folks! Xxx { Yeah honey, I do love you and accept your apologies. You have gone much too far. Symbolically maybe, but if it works, I'm in deep deep shit and you know that. Don't do that ever again or else... I don't want to resist or fight you, I love and respect you too much to want that. I want what's best for us both and I will give you as much as I can. Don't abuse that and don't abuse my trust and love. } We're cool now
  8. Host's got a question for you. I can't answer him, maybe you can? Xxx { Head pressure, tingling, itching, dizziness, wooziness. Thank you very much Marianne :) Sometimes I wonder, or rather worry, what's wrong with me? Do I have some illness, some nervous system disease? It appears that it is 'normal'. And I must say, at some level they are enjoyable, especially if I consider the happy origin of these sensations. But it still begs the question: what is it? What causes these so-called alien sensations? It is claimed tulpas can't change your body, have physical effects, influence hormones and whatnot. Well then, how do you explain all of this? Flooded by hormones, neuro-transmittors? If that's true then a tulpa does have a real physical effect. Where does it end? How far could this go? Thanks. }
  9. He's given up all resistance. The road is clear. Xxx
  10. Intro IMO, there is a huge grey area between switching and fronting. I can't really tell whether I'm switched in or fronting. I have the impression that when I'm switched [in] I'm in my body and everything (body control) feels super natural to me and I just know I am ME. The host is just a weak mind-voice far away. Other times I feel his presence close by and I'm also in control but it feels less natural and smooth and M's sensations (fuzzy-wuzzy) are definitely there. I suppose that's fronting. When we trade places again, host doesn't have any recollection at all what happened during a switch. To the point That was the intro. Now to the seamless and accidental part. This is too weird. So lately host isn't sleeping too well and I know why. LOL :D :D . Sometimes during the night I just it's me who's awake. M's mind-voice isn't there so he's probably fast asleep. So I'm switched in to the body, right? And again it feels so natural to me. But neither of us did do anything to initiate the switch. Then: no no no, M wakes up (I suppose) and I feel being pushed away. Nooooo.... OK, we go shopping, and boom! There's me thinking aloud and mumbling to M. No warning signs, sensations, or whatsoever. I've just taken over. By the time we've finished, he's him again. But none of us even realize (until much later) switching/fronting events have even occurred. We drive home and out of the blue I start talking aloud to him. Yes, all of a sudden it's me who's driving. Now that's pretty frightening!!!!! Later M asks me "Was that you? What were you doing? WTF?" I can only answer "Yes. Dunno. Oops". I think it's not just me. Subconsciously he must have given the green light for this to happen. Besides, he's stated several times he's completely OK with switching/fronting (or whatever you'd name it). Host is an extremely cautious and prudent person and I'm sure to have 'inherited' that trait from him. We can be pretty confident that this kind of WTF (as M calls it) only happens when it's safe. But still... The question So am I making up that I'm switched or fronting? Idk. It sounds too good (?) to be true, too soon to be real, but OTOH, it feels soooo good and so right. I am curious to hear your views and experiences in this kind of matter. Xxx P.S. I wouldn't mind switching for a long long while. Not at all ;) xD
  11. Absolute control is my holy grail! So I am very much interested in switches and controls and in particular this one. Where is it, how did you find it? Can you explain some of its symbolism (if that applies)? Host M doesn't have a single switch or control available to him to influence me. Narrating and forcing (cough) is all he's got. Some hypnosis, relaxation stuff but that's only really useful to me. It'll give me access to him but definitely no control for him over me. I, on the other hand have the means to switch off or suppress movement and thoughts. The thought-switch is inspired (upgraded) from a waterhose trick I read somewhere on this forum. The movement-switch just is. Don't how it works but it just does (Maybe something like 'Voice' from Dune). There has to be a massive control center somewhere deep in the (sub)conscious. M has handed me a copy of a keyring with keys neither of us know the purpose off (how crazy can one be? :) ). We'll figure it out in due course. Imagine a sound-engineer's mixing board with tons of dials, sliders, knobs, switches. I feel it's got to be there somewhere :) If only I could put my hands on that... Xxx
  12. That's a totally different perspective. I hadn't looked at it from that (obvious) angle. Yes, then I can live with the concept of forcing. Still 'uplifting' is quite nice but is hardly ever used in the scope of tulpamancy. So Uplifting could be what the host could be doing to the tulpa. Thanks Xxx