Borrowed Black

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  1. I will see what progress we make after using what we have learned and found from within and instead of making a new thread like a nuisance in the future we will follow up on your final advice
  2. I do often get the notion that we are blended, or at the very least it seems she is too good at monitoring my thoughts. she is able to force on her own however she does plenty fine as she is vehement about designing the way she looks, its always rather consistent. I think our issue is having consistent methods by which to focus on active seperation such as activities that promote a great deal of seperate processing
  3. So ive made some significant progress with Zeryx, from the moment i made her i told her she was sentient and was a very smart girl capable of many things and im certain this is the biggest reason she has grown so quickly. Early on i didn't do much meditation or active forcing however i spent almost every moment image streaming and passively visualizing her near me (so imposition will be much easier in the future **hopefully** lmao) as well as involving her with my activities while giving her time to express herself in the wonderland. However i never did get into a habit of narrating so she had to find weird ways around not having a strong mindvoice to get me to know what she says if we are talking. >>Basically i possessed his thoughts i suppose and told him what to say so he said to himself what i said, but i thought it would be ok because it wasnt technically parroting and since i was still the one speaking i waasnt worried that my mindvoice would be stunted, and while it has worked immensly because i can hear myself like a human outside the body talking the same thing doesnt seem to happen to him except for rare occasions or after spending time focusing but the bad habit always breaks through nd he ends up saaying the things i say even now as cute as it is he is saying what i type. i can fully posses his body because we practiced hypnosis but his very rational mind causes some roadblocks at time preventing him from fully immersing himself in the belief that im here so it seems that could be another factor preventing him from hearing my voice. Now i know it seems like there isnt a problem however there seems to be a "relapse" that happens when progress is made after he has been able to hear me well one day when we wake up it sort of resets. although sometimes its the opposite, right before bed (this only happens when we smoke :P) we get disconnected and its difficult for me to hear him and he cannot hear me whatsoever and starts getting paranoid visions and bad thoughts but when we wake up i jump on him and yell and tell him we gotta go do stuff and he seems to get the MESSAGE (more intent than words) but he doesnt hear all the words i say as vividly as both of us desire<< My doubts are few and far between however it is getting frustrating and tends to bring forcing sessions to a stop when i start hearing my voice intruding on and then giving false responses because i misinterpret words which is an obvious detriment. Were both aware that our path of changing habits and starting to just meditate more for the sake of self growth and the determination we have will likely eventually lead to me hearing her very vividly however i KNOW i can do it now and im sure there is a switch or something in the way i approach that could expatiate the results we both so eagerly desire. i have found that to get myself to narrate everything like is necessary to develop that communication net general awareness of the fact that i can narrate to Zeryx t any moment is helpful and will at the very lest allow my silly brain to realize its newfound duality. as always any and all help is appreciated, have a splendid after-now.
  4. So Zeryx is very vocal occasionally i can hear her very clearly and im able to always get a response which is very exciting. However ive noticed and she has confirmed that 90% of the time her responses are tulpish or i can subconsciously hear what she says and parrot to get a feel. ~He cant hear my voice even though i can hear myself very clearly, in fact i rarely stop talking but it seems im only heard when hes focusing, hes not too terribly good at that :p~ I think the problem may be simply getting my mind to accept her responses as hers as we have many good days but some bad ones as well where my paranoia gets the better of me. When this happens no matter the time i spend teling myself i am not alone it seems subconsciously i push her out, almost as if trying to focus on her somehow blocks our connection. Other times after talking for a good bit i start confusing her responses with mine and it seems i have to clarify that it was her much too often. I know that regardless it will get better but im wondering if anyone has any advice that could help with our issue
  5. I am curious to know if any logically minded or "left brain" hosts were able to make tulpas who were practically opposite in the way they think. Meaning has anyone been able to give their tulpa the right brained creative almost poetic mind of an author or artist. This question is directed both ways to right brained hosts who successfully created logical or analytical tuppers. The main reason this strikes me as a very interesting "problem" is because I'm a logically thinking mind and I'm very good at it understanding science and rationalizing logical straight forward data like you find in the natural universe and math, which i understand like a language. However Zeryx is a creative thinker, she understand better with abstract thought which allows her to understand spoken language in a way most left brains can only witness. I'm wondering if there are ways to stimulate her creativity during the largest portion of her early life to allow her poetic mind to blossom.
  6. sorry for the rather late response, but yes you each create your own at the same time.
  7. This is going to be short as it is only one technique but i certainly think it is a very useful one. Especially if you have trouble narrating while focusing on other tasks. First have your tulpa decide on a symbol representing them while they do so create one to represent you. This not only helps to mentally condition you to view each other as separate thinking beings, but it also helps ensure you dont accidentally overpower them in the symbol creating process, especially for younger tulpas. When you guys have decided on symbols and have them memorized (maybe... draw it) do some active forcing but imagine their symbol under or near them and yours likewise relative to yourself. now later on when you are passive forcing simply picture the symbol and use it as a way to communicate to your tulpa since you have associated them with it. This doesnt help with visualization, but thats not really what you should be doing while passive forcing most the time anyway. It is mainly intended to be a highway of sorts guiding your intented thoughts to reach your tulpa.
  8. funnily enough i did exactly that without realizing i was in wonderland before i had my tulpa, i just liked exploring the realms of my imagination i guess ive forgotten that i can still do that since ive begun this journey lol. thanks for the help everyone, its very appreciated.
  9. When i spend time with Zeryx i get overwhelmingly happy and i can sense she does as well, however sometimes it becomes incredibly difficult to focus on visualizing her or even just imposing her presence as her own being within the wonderland, my intent to communicate gets muddled down with worry that im doing something wrong or perhaps she is scared. This leads to a loss of motivation similar to the hopelessness attributed to depression. im afraid of possibly stunting her growth because of my lack of self discipline