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About BirdyThePhoenix

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  1. Late post from yesterday 9/09/17 Satoshi has finally become vocal. I ended up doing a few exercises with him. I asked him to name an animal while I said the word bird, in hopes of learning to separate our mindvoices better. On his first try he said elk, and then on his second try he said "tree". That response had shocked me, which I suppose is a good thing! He has a sense of humor. Satoshi and I both want to try possession, but I personally am afraid that we are moving too fast; I tried to let him possess my legs for a walk, but I'm not sure if that was truly him or not. He thinks we aren't moving too fast. I went to see the movie "It" last night. When I told Satoshi it was a scary movie, he said he didn't really want to watch it, but he ended up being okay with the movie.
  2. So... perhaps writing a progress report will help to move things along. I suppose I'll track information here. Milestone Tracker 09/03/17: Satoshi was born. 9/09/17: Satoshi becomes truly vocal for the first time. Also, if I am posting and Satoshi wants to speak temporarily on my post, he will write in [brackets like this].
  3. So I need to change the e-mail that I signed up with, but whenever I enter the new e-mail it says that it is delivering something to my inbox but I never get anything. It's not in spam either. Am I just doing something wrong or is something bugged? Thanks.
  4. I really appreciate the feedback. Also, I don't believe that suicide, egocide, or anything similar is an "easy way out". I believe that it's truly one of the hardest things you can do.
  5. Yep. One thing I've tried to avoid my whole life is being close minded. I used to be relatively close minded, and believed that whatever I thought was best. I'm glad that I no longer think that way. I've even been able to live a somewhat happier life due to that now than before. And I truly believe that everyone should at least listen. You never know when you'll hear something that you had never considered before, and getting fresh perspectives on situations is always a good thing.
  6. I don't believe anyone would be completely okay with it. But understanding it would be good enough. I mean, there is a chance that this whole experience could change my mind. It's not impossible. As it currently stands, I don't believe my mind will be changing, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it is completely out of the picture. I would never enforce an "end of argument". Honestly, I would be kind of expecting fair talks about it. And I would take what they say to heart. I'm not sure if this seems selfish or not, but honestly I do believe it would be worth the time; they could possibly even help me through a lot of the problems I struggle with on a day-to-day basis. I don't plan on doing it any time soon, so it wouldn't necessarily be a short life. If anything, knowing when you would die would be reassuring to me; I could plan things out accordingly. I'm not sure how it would be for them though. I try to enjoy the time I've given. It's hard at times. Really hard. And it's something I struggle with. But regardless of that, I still try. I want to enjoy the time I do have. Yeah, there's no way to know in advance.... I could hope for the best, that they wouldn't live in constant dread. I want to enjoy my life as much as they would want to. I'll keep thinking about it for a while. Because something like this is a big decision, and I know that it's not something to be taken lightly.
  7. Before I get into this post, I have one important thing to say. I don't want anyone commenting "don't do it" or the like. This is something I have thought about for a long time, and comments like that will mean nothing. I've seen it all before anyways. Now, for the actual question. Would it be cruel for someone like me to create a Tulpa? I have been suicidal for years now. And, through rational thoughts and months of thinking, I have decided that I will one day end my life. It doesn't matter how old I am. But I know that I want to be in charge of my own death. Now, knowing this, would it be cruel for me to create a Tulpa? If I were to create one, I would notify them of this and make sure they understand. It's something I feel very strongly about, and has become a core part of my personality as well. I imagine that with a tulpa not prepared for this, that this would be insanely cruel. But, if I were to create a tulpa who is aware about this all from the beginning, would that be okay? I am just worried about creating another being in my mind, and then when I ultimately do decide to act, that they would view it as murder or something similar. I don't want that. I have no intention of being cruel. Thank you in advance for any replies. And again, I'll restate, please post things related to my question, not related to my thoughts. I will say up front that I will ignore any posts that try and discourage me from doing it. It's not going to happen now anyways. It's simply the choice I've came to based on months of rational and philosophical thought.