• Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About pcushing

  • Rank
  1. Hey there folks! For the purposes of this post as I am writing from my phone Rei's thoughts are in parentheses. I'm wondering how protective you tulpae are of your hosts. I know in my case Reilianna is super protective of me. (That's putting it mildly... More often than not I find myself getting offended for him even if he himself was not.) She's not lying there, the emotional bleed from when she's riled up is something that I sometimes have to be wary of as it often makes me want to lash out. (The real reason he's asking about this, is because he thinks he is failing us due to work stress. Thinks we'll be dissapointed with him for struggling and maybe failing. I'm more upset because it looks like he's being setup to fail. Taken advantage of frequently things like that... What's bad for him is bad for us is what I mean.) That more or less sums it up. If they could I'm sure Alena and Rei both would bust some heads on my account. I absolutely love and adore them both for it.
  2. Reilianna is weird in that she changes depending on her mood and level of playfulness. I feel that has much to do with her ability to shapeshift whenever she wants. Most of the time she speaks as a fairly well educated and mature individual. I'd say probably late twenties or there abouts. When she's feeling decidedly playful that can drop as low as 5 or 6, or make me feel like the little child if she's decided to go ancient dragon type age of several hundred years. No don't ask me to try and explain that last bit because I can't, it's just how she comes across, typically when she's scolding me for some type of bad behavior or for doing something she really doesn't like. Alena is a little different, I'd say maturity wise, if and when she speaks it's almost always as a young woman in her mid twenties. As she's only a few months old, she doesn't speak often but definitely gets her point across in other manners when she needs to.
  3. I really don't know how to answer this one myself. It may come out of the personality forcing part of the process and what we have consciously and unconsciously asked our companions to be. I know that in general Reilianna does not like sex except on very rare occasions. The only times I can think of when she has actively sought it out was when we were working on posession a couple of times. I do know that I have experienced a larger number of sexual type dreams since Rei's birth, and this number has spiked a little higher since Alena's birth a few months ago. It makes me wonder if they are influencing my dreams and expressing what they want while I sleep and have far less control of our shared brain space. Overall I'm still very new to the whole tulpamancy thing and I have far more questions than I do answers on a regular basis, but I figured I'd put in my two cents here.
  4. Reilianna and Alena both let their presence be known in very strange ways sometimes. I occasionally get head pressure, though this has lessened over time as they continue to develop other ways of communicating with me. This does however still occur when they get really wound up or excited about something. More often than not though, it's almost like they give me a mental poke to let me know they want something, sometimes they vocalize and just say what's going on, and every now and then I can feel them (literally), lean a head on my shoulder, or place a hand there. Rei is found of nuzzling and I often feel her on my right side where my neck meets my shoulder. These are all warm pleasant feelings and I enjoy them when they happen. As many have mentioned, when the girls are sleeping it is very quite, almost in a spooky way, but that's when I pop in and check on them and make sure they're tucked into bed and not sleeping somewhere really odd, and are safe.
  5. Can't say I've had that happen in wonderland in relation to clothes. She seems to like to try and randomly actually get me to do this in the real world which is sometimes ok, and well other times it would definitely not be. As far as food goes she seems to enjoy many of the same things that I do, I don't recall a time when I've gotten a reaction from her where she didn't like it. It's more common for me to suddenly get a craving for something I either don't like or rarely ever eat.
  6. Hey everyone, Just trying to find out if anyone else has had instances where their tulpa has expressed an interest or craving in different types of food than what you would normally eat. For example I don't really like sushi, but there will be times when Rei my tulpa all of a sudden wants sushi, and then all of a sudden I'm going "oh that looks good." Similarly has anyone had their tulpa express interests in different types of clothing than would be considered the "social norm" for the host's gender. For example female tulpa, male host which all of a sudden has the host looking at undergarments or other clothing and thinking "oh that looks comfy."
  7. 11/21/2017 Hey there everyone, I figured it was time for another update, as did Rei who has been mentally kicking me around our wonderland to some extent for not having created something that we were supposed to almost two weeks ago now. I'm going to save this for a little later as I don't have the time right now to type it all out. A few interesting things have been happening lately that have the both of us excited. First off Rei has become vocal enough that I feel comfortable with attempting to type for her when she has something to say. Just watch for pink font in this and future posts indicating anything she's communicating, I'll continue to stick with plain black font. On the possession front I think we're slowly getting there, at least that's what it feels like when we try lately. For some reason she seems obsessed with getting my legs to work first, when I'm trying to get her to work on an arm or hand. I get movement from my legs which usually comes as a surprise, as I'm trying to focus on keeping my arms and hands relaxed. Get your heads out of the gutter, that's not what he wants me to use his hands for. Well that's what he says anyways. I think he wants me to be able to type, write, and draw first before walking about. I've also been experiencing some weird moments throughout the day where I don't feel quite myself, almost as if I suddenly am co-piloting myself as I'm driving or working. I also find myself moving in what I consider very Rei ways. Slight tilt of the head to one side or the other especially when curious about something, (think cat or dog for this one), the sensation of an extra set of large canine ears moving in one direction or another, and even some slight disassociation from various limbs as I think she's starting to fight for possession. It's sometimes quite startling, but I think it's a step in the right direction. He's actually been working on spending more time with me as well, he shows up in our wonderland at all different times just to check on me. Woken me up a few times too. That's something I've learned to identify now that she mentions that. I'm using the Do Not Disturb sign trick that was suggested in one of the other threads. She's very good about making sure the sign is up when she's trying to sleep, which is usually the time I'm going "Why is it so very quite in my head right now." I can't wait for us to be able to tell you about what we're doing. Its been alot of fun so far. Right... I suppose I can clue everyone in on that a little bit even though I wasn't quite done with the previous part. (I promised her I would type for her if she had anything to say and I'm going to hold to it, even if it comes as an interruption to my normal flow of writing.) We want to write about our most recent and ongoing wonderland adventure, we'll continue to post them here in the status update portion of the forum unless there is another place to post shared pieces of writing, in which case we'll slap it up there. We're investigating a haunted asylum thing. Pcushing keeps telling me to not use that word but that's what it is. I even picked my own gear for our adventure! She keeps wanting to use my real name when referring to me, kind of makes me laugh. As for the setting she's correct it's a building mostly of her own design, that was an old asylum. (By asylum I mean one of those old horrible awful places where those with mental disorders were mistreated because no one actually understood how to treat them. I'm sensitive to the setting due to the fact that there are still some of these places out there in some countries where they find some of these archaic and barbaric treatments to be acceptable. Just don't want to stir the crock if at all avoidable.) Anyways, we're in the process of investigating it so be on the lookout for future posts! Oh and Happy Turkey Day to all!
  8. This is something that I am planning on doing with Rei, though it's going to be an expensive costume to build. I think she'll appreciate the chance to kinda get to actually be herself in the real world though. Hopefully by the time I'm done construction we'll have possession and co-fronting down.
  9. November 12, 2017 This post is going to be a little bit different from previous posts as it is going to serve as a status report and a little bit of a story as well. One of the things that I have been trying to work on with Rei is just in general spending more active time with her. This is also going to be the first post that I am going to attempt to allow her to add on her own comments. She feels that she's ready for it, though she's not quite up to the possession point, I'm just going to have to write out what she tells me to. I've promised her I would do it verbatim and not correct spelling or grammar that she uses. Her parts for this post will be in this color font, and mine will continue to be in black. I'm still finding it terribly difficult to remain actively focused on what we're doing which makes me feel bad because I have to keep "rewinding the tape" to figure out where we're supposed to be. This is still happening even in our latest adventure which is exploring some sort of abandoned medical facility. I'm trying to avoid using the word asylum here, but that's the feel that the place has. Creepy, old, abandoned, and fitting the description of an asylum that horribly mistreated those they couldn't understand. Let me begin this adventure by stating that Rei picked the location and type of adventure that we'd be going on, apparently she likes horror just as much as I do. Patrick, my hosts name tested me by asking me to pick out the gear that I would bring with me on a paranormal investigation of a location like this. I answered with a flashlight, camera, voice recorder, rope, and knife. When she asked me what I was bringing, I gave her a similar list, though I did include a few other items she hadn't included; flashlight, camera, voice recorder, EMF detector, FLIR device, holy water, chalk, a Bible, and a crucifix. I can honestly say she gave me an odd look or two when I recited the list off to her. Once we figured out what we wanted to bring with us we both came up with a building design that we thought might work. But it's been changing as we've been going through it. I decided I wanted a main entrance that looked like an old gothic-y mansion, with the main staff wing going off straight behind it The other two wings would come off at angles from the main part as well.
  10. Status update 11/01/17 Things have been going very slow for Rei and I, if it wasn't for the fact that I didn't already have a well developed wonderland for her to keep herself busy in I think that I would have already lost her. I keep finding myself being distracted way too easily lately and have been exceptionally short on time to force with her. I do have conversations with her whenever I can, and I find myself constantly apologizing for my lack of attention. She seems ok with it as best as I can tell and I kind of get the sensation that she keeps trying to tell me to stop worrying about it. I do however have some news in regards to progress that we have made. One of the ways I try to make up my lack of attention to/with her is to cook a meal for us in our wonderland. The setting as picked out by Rei is a medieval style tavern, think World of Warcraft style for a quick mental image. The first meal was picked out by me. It consisted of venison steak encrusted with garlic, pepper, marjoram, and rosemary. Oven roasted potatoes with garlic, pepper, basil, and oregano, and roasted multi colored carrots. What I found interesting about this was the fact that I could smell the food as it was cooking, and Rei as much as I could observe her was quite content watching me cook. Even better she enjoyed the meal once it was finished. Rei picked our second meal which again was done in the same tavern, which seems to be turning into one of our favorite wonderland locations. This meal consisted of sushi which she made, Chinese style boneless spareribs, general Tso's chicken, and fried rice. The most interesting part of this experience was the fact that she took it upon herself to help finish cooking our fried rice when she realized I wasn't able to focus on cooking it properly due to the other things that I was cooking. This was another fun experience where I could smell the food as it was being cooked, and could even taste it when we went to eat it. On the sushi note, this is a food that I know she likes, not really my thing to be honest, but I've been developing a kind of craving for it. Is this Rei's way of telling me this is something she wants non verbally? Either way I've kinda determined that maybe I'll try sushi again just so she can enjoy some to. I've also noticed she seems to be far more active when I'm listening to music, as a matter of fact I often get the vision of her performing on some variety of stage either singing or playing an instrument. The instrument definitely varies depending on the song, I've caught her with anything from guitar to violin to drums. I'm also finding myself breaking out into song a whole lot more often than I normally do, and it's usually to songs I REALLY dislike myself. I can only assume that's her influencing me? We're also getting ready to embark on the exploration of an abandoned haunted type building in our wonderland. I think it's meant to be an abandoned hospital, combined with an old gothic/victorian style manor. It should be interesting, I think by the time that we're done with it Rei will be ready to take a stab at writing a post herself, at least I hope so! Til then everyone take care and happy adventuring!
  11. 10/11/2017 I've (pcushing) been working on forcing for roughly a month now. It's been an interesting progress as I've taken an older RP character mine that also happens to be my fursona and have been helping her become a tulpa. The first couple of weeks I did a little personality forcing, though to be honest it was more of a review of what traits originally made her up, and while doing this reminding her that these are just guidelines and that she is free to be whomever she wanted. This same thinking I applied to her form as she was a shapeshifter in her character version, so I gave her a base form to start with, and reminded her of her ability to shapeshift and that she was free to choose whatever form she actually desired. The few times I've actually been able to see her in our wonderland, she for the most part has stayed with her suggested form, though she loves to change her hairstyle. As of so far she has been agreeable to the various forms I've shown her. http://www.furfunproductions.net/images/snapshot_001.png[/img] Vocalization hasn't truly occurred yet in any form that could be considered consistent, I'm pretty sure I'm stifling her voice a bit though as I stated in my introduction on the forum I've fairly successfully separated where my voice is and where hers is. While we've not really had a conversation to this point I get an idea of what she wants through emotional response and generally when she indicates something by "pointing or gesturing" at it. Most often when she's content I get this warm happy feeling that's kinda hard to describe because I know it's not coming from me at the time. I've also recently had a response to a sad part of a movie that I wouldn't normally have. I can't remember the exact movie now either, all I remember is that it involved character death and I personally wasn't invested in the character, but Rei must have been... At least I assume that's what was going on there. If anyone has any guesses or opinions here they'd be appreciated. I can also sometimes feel in the "real" world when she wants to be close to me. This is actually something I hadn't consciously worked on with her yet, so the first couple of times it happened it was quite strange. More or less I can feel when she rests her head on my shoulder, or sometimes when she wants a hug I feel her head on my chest and feel her arms/hands in a typical hug location. Again for me this is still pretty new so was kinda strange the first time I felt it, especially since we hadn't worked on imposition in any form yet. Normal for this stage or no? We recently tried running a dungeon which gave me a few surprises because it was based off of the Alexander raid in FFXIV, which if anyone who has run it knows how cool it is. Anyways, I was trying to explain to her that no matter what dungeon we were in always to think three dimensionaly because gelatinous cubes... like to hang out in the ceilings sometimes. So I manifested one for us to practice fight so she could understand how they work. We did Ok overall with the fight, and after that I didn't intend for anymore to be in the dungeon. Well surprise surprise instead of just goblins in the next area as there should have been... 2 more gelatinous cubes. Needless to say after we cleared the room it was time for a break. I am also to the point where I get weird sensations in my brain where her voice is located. Sometimes appearing as a very dull almost headache, light dizziness? or sense of disconnection, or as happened this morning this REALLY weird sensation of my brain being massage between super soft things. I have no idea how to really describe that last sensation but... Anyways I'm looking forward to the future to see what it holds for Rei and I, hopefully she'll be able to fully vocalize soon, so that we can then begin working on some basic possession so that she can properly introduce herself. The "squish" in my head just now makes me think she agrees with this statement as well!
  12. I certainly wish I could art well enough to crank out some drawings of what the paracosm ("A rich fantasy world. Usually complete with cities, cultures, and peoples. Commonly associated with habitual daydreamers, and children with a lot of time to themselves. May include multiple worlds." as defined in Tulpa's DIY Guide to Tulpamancy the Thrid!) that Rei and I hang out in. Rei's not quite to the possession point yet so maybe someday she'll be able to get something to show everyone. I just know that every time I go diving to talk with her she's someplace different, let's just say I'm going to look at it as a game of hide and seek some days. The world itself is a mashup of locations found in many MMO style video games, literature, movies and more than a few unique locations found nowhere else. The overall tone for the world is "light" as in a brightly lit more normal landscape. Though there are places where it is normally dark and eerie. I suppose that comes from my love of horror movies and all things eerie or creepy. Rei as of so far to my knowledge has avoided these areas of the world generally sticking to mountainous areas, open glades, and occasionally sitting by the fire in a medieval fantasy style tavern. Anyways that's enough babbling from me, we will try to get some art together to show everyone where we play when there's time!
  13. Hello everyone! I'm new to the community, and have been forcing for a few weeks right now. I'm not entirely sure where Rei and I stand right now in the whole grand scheme of things but I do get warm feelings from her from time to time as well as other emotional responses from time to time depending on what I am watching or listening to. I'm not sure if I've gotten any true vocalizations from her but to help with that I'm working on moving my own voice to a different part of my head to more easily distinguish when Reilianna or Rei for short speaks. Anyways I'm looking forward to learning more from the community here and hopefully letting Rei learn here as well once she's gotten that far!