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  1. That is how I would describe it. I don't think I would say that. Though the issue is complicated Hmm... Is consciousness and awareness the same thing in this context? If I assume so, it sounds like you are saying there is a consciousness/awareness (thus perception) within its own self. I am not quite sure what that looks like or if it seems that is the case based on information I've gathered over there years and talked about in my thread in December. (Addition: I've gone back through and read your posts several times trying to understand. You really
  2. Thanks for sharing your method. It is rough. I hope I can overcome things, then. Both anxiety and worrying I have no conscious control over affecting the result really sucks. I can't just make myself stop it. I just try to switch, and whatever happens along the way outside of that intention, isn't my doing but gets in the way. I will try your method when I am feeling up for another go and see what happens.
  3. That is an interesting word to use, though. I have been thinking about what awareness is, and I realize it is perhaps another word to describe what I very long ago would call consciousness, but eventually changed to the word subjectivity, since I felt consciousness may not be communicating what I intend to all people who read it, and unfortunately subjectivity seems to also be a word people do not understand what I mean when I say it. As it turns out, awareness might be the appropriate word... but I do not know how others use or interpret it Anyway my point is, one of the main thin
  4. I agree. That's the plan, don't worry. I see. I guess the thing I wonder is to what degree in-depth roleplaying characters are forced to become tulpas or not, as a couple of my characters might have more raw experience in stimuli+reaction to stimuli than Rena does, from sheer age, the difference being it was fantasy to me. They are the characters I have had weird experiences with, but it is rare. To my understanding though, I guess just saying "nope, not tulpas" is enough for them to be stuck characters even if the latent potential is there, I think. Still unclear situati
  5. I see. I don't really feel good about asking her to do anything, either, though, but is having Rena go through the motions to get a job so we can both get out of here the equivalent to having her fix my entire life for me? It seems like a minor casual step that just happens to be for whatever unfortunate reason currently inaccessible to me, and if accomplished would be a big deal. I feel like from a standpoint of a normal person, it is a fairly quick and embarrassingly easy thing to do (minus people with external circumstances that makes finding a job hard, like none existing), but if it doesn
  6. I see. It would be interesting to talk to some of these people I think, if I was good at talking and could ask questions and try to get to the bottom of what is happening to my own satisfaction, because I feel such an extreme experience would be difficult to confabulate or mistake. So far it feels like the more I see of people talking about and describing tulpamancy, the more I can kind of see it gravitating to one experience being talked about with different words. I would like to be able to see if there is really something outside with what they say or not I see. Well,
  7. I sent dm! Maybe I will keep looking into what I can figure out might be possible with characters, then. Thanks, I am glad you found something to work out for yourself so well, I hope I can too And yeah, I think everything would be far better if I could get out. I don't know what I can do. I've tried building self up to get job and leave but those have failed, I also am trying to get SSI and working with case manager about situation, but that is proving difficult and not going well, and even if it does work out I am not sure how possible it is to live on such a small am
  8. Here are the two posts in my PR related to switching. https://community.tulpa.info/topic/15066-rena-notes/?do=findComment&comment=256759 https://community.tulpa.info/topic/15066-rena-notes/?do=findComment&comment=257072 I haven't read them in a long while. Yeah, it appears my first experience with switching was a lot more profound and different than mostly all the others. In that one, I think it seemed I really was dissociated from my anxiety and triggers, thoroughly a different person. Any time I try it now, it is similar to the failed ones of
  9. If that is the case, then there was no one who actually experienced such things that wrote it, or was consulted in the writing of it, meaning it was totally made up, which is extremely annoying to me, and I believe if true should be removed. Having physically unattainable expectations is one of the most damaging things that can happen, I believe.
  10. As far as I can tell that doesn't work at all. It seems to be fake it till you make it method, but that doesn't really stop me from having poor control on how to react to upsetting stimuli, and having paralyzing fear. I feel like if switching is real, something substantial and dramatic has to be taking place in the brain somewhere that should turn off all these normal response pathways to replace with the tulpa's (or in my theory, a long term character I've thought about a ton), so if it is a method to do that, I thought it might be the only way to have a quick behavior change. I h
  11. I see. I don't know anything about channeling. With deity yoga, as far as I understand, you just replace your self image and internal talk with whatever it is you are intending to become, and eventually you feel like them, which seems kind of precisely how initiating switching seems to be for me and I think others. Just the same level of substance as anything else I thought, though of course it needs to be a target that you are invested in and have a thorough understanding of, whether it is real or fake, or the understanding of them is correct or not. There should be a deep seeded idea of what
  12. While walking I also tried seeing if I could switch for a bit or something. Felt like Rena was inside me, but after a bit it got very uncomfortable and the body started twitching, and she came out. I didn't imagine myself moving outside though
  13. Fawns actually I believe. They were small and had no antlers That explains how my first sighting was so different I too have these things. I wish you well
  14. I took a walk, and while walking, I was somewhat startled by seeing what appeared to be something I could only describe as a troll, like from fantasy, climbing up a steep hill. It was so bizarre, and I had never seen anything like it. I was wondering if I was seeing a child, and just misunderstanding what I was seeing. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was just a cat, and found it a little funny. Weird that I saw something so incorrectly. Upon even closer inspection, it was actually two deer. Dear me.
  15. I am not sure if I comprehended everything well, but I also got a sense of it being like 2 hammers, and one is used to drive in nails, and another is to break open coconuts, and for some reason calling the second hammer something new just because it was used differently. Why exactly would it do these things? My biggest fear was it potentially leading to a tulpa unintentionally, and it seems the linked thread may imply that would happen, so I guess that might be a disaster. Though the more I read, the less I understand the difference of tulpas to other mental phenomenon or what s
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