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About Cat_ShadowGriffin

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    Gray the Cat-Griff


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    Short details? Life story? Half the time I can't even type less than a 100 characters. I'll pass and save everyone some time.

    Ranger used to speak in orange text but now it's azure text.

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  1. I had both a journal and created Ranger before I realized I created a tulpa. In my journal, I wrote about my anxiety, fears, and angers but also talked about my other headmates, some wonderlanding, and things Ranger told me that were related to my distress. The one disclaimer here my stress had developed into mild trauma, and I'm not sure if that's relevant to your situation. Keeping a diary or a journal is not the same as active forcing, even though recording your thoughts can seem similar to venting to a tulpa or someone else. For one, it's much easier to sob over a journal because you won't have to worry about the journal feeling hurt because it can't help you. At the time, Ranger watching me go through this in the past made him deeply uncomfortable, and he watched parts of it because he didn't have much choice. It came up in conversation, me doing self-harm in wonderland, and the wonderland itself was scary because we were prone to intrusive thoughts and we didn't have the skills or stability to properly deal with them yet. Tulpas are not licensed therapists (unless you are one), and if it hurts you a lot it can hurt them too. Keeping a journal on the other hand is a skill recommended to practice during therapy. This is especially helpful for your therapist because they can read what you wrote through the lens of being a professional and being removed from the pain you are experiencing. A tulpa is stuck in your head, so they cannot achieve this separation. Second, I have always found talking to myself to be easier than talking to my tulpa. Talking to Ranger feels like it takes a lot of energy, similar to talking to another person. As a result, blowing off steam by writing it out was easier than venting to Ranger. If you are more extraverted, it's possible the opposite is true, so you may have the opposite reaction where talking it out with your tulpa is easier than writing it down in a journal. Third, active forcing and narrating is about focusing on your tulpa, not yourself. It is recommended to talk about yourself during narration because that's an easy topic for you to discuss and then you and your tulpa can take the conversation somewhere else or if your tulpa isn't vocal yet, practice listening skills. However, the point is to help your tulpa develop and having an opportunity to vent is a side effect. If you want to focus on venting, a journal or diary is a better option than your tulpa so you can focus on that more. [Ranger] I'm curious about the context here, given that I had a similar problem but it seemed so bizarre to others that people shrugged it off as just an "us" thing. While Cat was struggling, she also experienced a phenomenon we called "intrusive thoughtforms". In a nutshell, things in the mind that seemed similar to tulpas but would bully and harass Cat and then in most cases dissipate. When I personally felt insecure, I tended to act out and act like an "intrusive thoughtform" and/or I would get replaced by one. Regardless, negativity greatly impacted me because I was underdeveloped at the time, but overall I don't see myself as "evil" or anything like that now. Also, having a diary was not enough for Cat to shield me from this, but in our case her anxiety was extreme and she needed therapy. [Cat] I agree with everything else James pointed out, except for one thing- eye seeing dogs are trained to help you, tulpas are not. [Ranger] It's not my favorite metaphor because it's comparing a human to a dog, but I understand the point of it. Otherwise, I also agree with everything else. [Cat] A diary is not redundant, but it's also not designed for tulpa forcing. Diaries and tulpas can both help you during a rough patch or in general, but a diary's function is to record and help you process your thoughts while a tulpa is just a tulpa. They're just there and whether or not they want to help you is really up to them. It's entirely possible your tulpa will want nothing to do with your life problems and ask you to write them in your diary before you interact with them.
  2. Oh, uh... talking to headmates that I don't have or my headmates talking about Fish's integration.
  3. oof, but it makes for a good story at least. I have been playing Lengend Of Zelda the Minish Cap lately and there's this one minigame where you have to chase all of the cuccos in a ridiculous time limit. Do that 10 times and you get a heart piece. So after 3 days I finally got it and I fully expected to have nightmares about it, but I didn't. Instead, I have Minecraft dreams and I find my headmates talking and blending with each other while I'm half awake saying ridiculous things, that sadly were on-topic anyway...
  4. I think your method is interesting, but I don't think it's the best fit for me. When I meditate, I usually do mantra with counting just to enter a trance state and occupy myself when I'm really bored. I also have the unusual problem of being anxious about breathing while meditating, so I steer clear form breathing meditations even though those are some of the better ones. I don't use mantra for speaking with my headmates. Instead, I just go strait to talking to them and usually that by itself is enough to make me forget I'm sitting in my bed. When I'm having a hard time focusing though, I usually practice wonderland immersion which seems to share some things in common with mindfulness meditations. [Ranger] Have you ever felt anxiety around finding the time and space to meditate? Cat has a lot of trouble with this and I'm wondering if there's a few things we can try. We don't have a consistent schedule, but we end up watching hours fly by and missed opportunities...
  5. This is totally relatable. Don't worry Samantha, I definitely didn't draw my avatar. I did draw this though, but I was too afraid to draw anything that wasn't so-so pixel art-
  6. Cat_ShadowGriffin

    Yawn Battles

    It doesn't take much for me to yawn, reading the word or thinking about it is enough. I already yawned 3 or 4 times typing these two sentences. So unsurprisingly, when Ranger yawns in wonderland I yawn, and then he will yawn back, and really the only escape is to be distracted by something else. This is easier done than said though, so yawn cycles break easily. Sometimes Ranger will mess with me and yawn deliberately, but we never had an actual yawn battle or anything like that.
  7. Ranger is approaching triple the number of posts I made. Also he's approaching 999 posts. [Ranger] Should I do something special for my 1,000th post?
  8. I've been surprised by what I wrote before, but it usually has to be old. Ranger's writing can sometimes surprise me 10 minutes later
  9. I did read the ordering incorrectly, thank you for correcting me. There were parts of the conversation in the beginning that brushed me the wrong way and Bear/others were right on the fence of making cute jokes and being dramatic. The cute jokes didn't come in until the second part. I still believe making references to ranking friends is still muddy territory, and I don't apreciate that it was brought up. Yes, and it sucks. Like Ranger said already, you have permission to engage, but he doesn't want it to spill out more than it already has.
  10. That's awful he's doing that, I think you did the right thing and spoke up about it. I'm not sure what the best thing to do here is, I wonder if there's an animal abuse hotline person who can give you further guidance on how to deal with them. I don't think this has anything to do with Bre, I wasn't referencing him. Also, it was serious and not a joke. I felt like it needed to be called out because it just seemed like a jerk thing to do. [Ranger] I have discussed my issue with Bear publicly, I will give Bear the choice to do research and find it. If he wants to work something out, I would like for him to contact me in DMs or PMs, and I don't care if he invites you to help him. I'm not discussing this further publicly. [Cat] I apologize for coming across as passive aggressive. My intent was to be blunt. My calling out was focused on their current behavior because I thought it was disrespectful, and some stuff leaked a bit. I still stand by what I said.
  11. I'm just going to point out, holy shit the Bears came back not even 48 hours ago and time to rank friends now. Uh... Not cool.
  12. Vos is the queen of memes, and she rightfully earned that title. Believe it or not, there's a story to this. It actually happened around the time of my first post in LOTPW
  13. I usually watch robins going after worms and bugs in broad daylight. They tend to hop around until they stop and tilt their head, listening to the ground. A second later, they peck the ground with their prey in their mouth. Sparrows like to eat whatever is crawling around on our deck. They're a lot lazier. In their defense, they probably need the extra time for nest defense. There was one summer where I found dead baby birds everywhere, one of them dying in my mother's hands and one I found that was still alive and tried to build a makeshift nest for, but the next day the baby was gone.
  14. Switching out for me is like trading places with Ranger, but it came with a few surprises for me. I already had an idea of what Ranger's experience was like as a tulpa, but weird mindsets toward switching lead me to believe in things it wasn't and I was proven wrong later. When switched-out for the first few times, my identity felt like it was reduced. When Ranger fronted, I felt like I was a voice in his head and not much more. That doesn't mean I have some secret experience Ranger doesn't know about, instead it was the opposite- everything was filtered through Ranger's lens, and he didn't experience me as anything more than a voice. In wonderland, I have a form and in this tulpa state I have a presence I don't normally have, but the lack of feeling the body's senses as "mine" is a different experience, hence the feeling I lost something. When we switch, there is no blacking out, and when I go dormant, I don't black out then either. This experience is no different from Ranger's- when I'm switched-in and I forget about Ranger, he just stops thinking. The same thing happens when Ranger forgets about me- no secret experience on my end, I just stop existing and Ranger continues as if nothing happened. This helped us realize consciousness was a separate thing all together and it connects to whoever is switched-in because it feeds that headmate sensory and unconscious information, not because being conscious is somehow part of what makes myself, me or even the switched-in headmate. Being switched-out is an interesting sensory experience because when the brain/body is stressed, anxious, in pain, tired, etc. I can choose to opt out of it. I simply take advantage of the fact I'm a voice and without any effort, can't feel much of anything. It is much easier being calm because the brain is feeding the body's stress to Ranger first rather than myself. While I haven't had the chance to try this myself, possession can also shield Ranger from the body's anxiety, and I expect to do the same. As with anxiety, I can opt out of pain and remain calm to help ease Ranger while he experiences the pain. Being switched-out for you may be an experience you already know is like, assuming you have a tulpa. I like the idea what your tulpa experiences is if not exactly will be very close to your experience if you switched-out. The big thing to remember is there is no weird magical experience you won't be aware of already, such as blacking out, being able to think outside your tulpa's awareness, etc. As far as I'm concerned, parallel processing isn't a thing and can confuse you further. There are more experiences I have yet to explore- I have had limited chances to possess and I look forward to hanging out with my headmates while switched-out.
  15. ... What happened? (He wants to know).