Miri

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About Miri

  • Rank
    Member

Converted

  • Sex
    Female
  • Location
    Spain
  • Bio
    I have two tulpas, both of them intentional.

    Akai: she was created somewhere in the first months of 2015, based off an original character I had, don't remember when she became sentient, we set up August 1st as her birthday even though that date has nothing to do with her.

    She's a 5'6 tall girl (looks like a 19-20 years old) with red hair, blue eyes and fox ears and tail. You may see drawings of her in anime style, because that's what I draw the most but she looks like a real girl in my mind. She's joyful, lovely and a sweet girl who's been always there for me. Completely vocal and developed.

    My other tulpa is Mirichu and she has her own account here: https://community.tulpa.info/profile/14464-mirichu/

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  1. The student teacher I had for history did the same literal thing with the group projects, like it was a special class if they were coming and wanted us to do different things
  2. It feels like I am both seeing whatever my tulpa is seeing from her pov but at the same time it feels like I am watching her from outside the body. Of course there's only one pov, but when recalling the memory, the pov is out of the body and can't recall it from her pov. I do actually feel like I am not in the body though, I am next to her.
  3. Usually it feels like I am my tulpa but that's because I am way too active in the mind whenever she controls the body, but if I stop thinking completely (hard to do) and just let her do her thing, I feel detached from her and her memories of when she fronted actually feel alien to me. I can't even think without her attention in this state and feel like I am actually out of the body. Some other cases I might feel like I am actually being controlled and actions will surprise me, like everything is really smooth and I am just a passenger. And in some rare cases, I get so detached that I don't realize she had a whole conversation with someone else outside my awareness, and I have to recall the events. I don't feel anything myself, I don't even realize I stopped until I came back and remember. Other times I'd get hyper disassociated from her for absolutely no reason and get scared that my body is being moved by someone else, 'hey hold up what?! who's this? oh it's my tulpa, hello'. Hah if only I could induce it whenever I wanted. Mirichu: I don't even know what I do. I've heard people say 'no, if your host doesn't lose awareness, it's not a switch' and then 'if you can live your host's life without problem, it is a switch'. What even, I never lose the front to Miri like other front stuck systems did, and the brain clearly sees me as the default personality, but the only missing part is Miri not being able to completely lose awareness on command. It's like we're both anchored to the front. And our possession (or whatever this is) was weird??? like, we had this 'remote control' thingy where we could will the brain to move x part of the body without controlling the mind, and it'd actually feel like it was moving on its own. Of course it is so dumb when you can just control the whole mind.
  4. I used to have really bad doubts and wondered what the heck I was doing wrong. Never doubted tulpamancy seriously, just my tulpas, how convenient. But then one of my tulpas started fronting 24/7 and doubts just vanished, tulpamancy's realness skyrocketed and I started experiencing lots of things that I'd never experienced before, which just helped to kill doubts. Hard to seriously doubt when there's a constant reminder of 'hey look, I am living your life'. Sometimes we think doubtful things but they're more like intrusive thoughts and I don't doubt my tulpas' sentience anymore, that's old, at most I'd doubt how separated we truly are. My past self never gave up despite the lack of 'wow amazing, tulpa just imposed our whole wonderland out of nowhere and then we lucid dreamed together!', and the process was slow but giving up was worse because I didn't have much else and I really, really, really wanted this.
  5. Mirichu let me post this, but it was her idea
  6. A Certain Scientific Railgun please. That anime has way too much emotional value for us. And Misaka's clones were what finally made me go 'yeah I want another me', I had already toyed with the idea of having a doppelganger (recurrent fantasy when I was around 11-12, even pretended 'she' had taken over my body lmao, foreshadowing I guess) but they were the last straw- C'mon , they're hecking adorable. What's your favorite anime OST that isn't the opening or the ending?
  7. Sorry I am holding back the collective consciousness of .info from entering the afterlife
  8. Miri

    Ashley's Lounge

    Oh boy where do I even begin. First off, both of them supported me emotionally all the way, and I am immensely grateful for that. The fun begins when Mirichu turned host. So you know I created her with the sole purpose of having her replace me so I can escape this world, but the plan failed and instead I got stuck (yeah, serves me well I guess) so that sucked. But on the other hand, sticking around and watch her go through life with a way better mindset than the one I had, kind of got to me 'maaaybe the world isn't sooo bad and you can be happy'. Sadly, she still got to deal with a lot of the crap I had to deal with before but she did a much better job than me at it. By fronting all the time, she managed to bring her mindsets with her to the front. I was a fan of solipsism and subjective reality (literal subjective reality) and oh god it was a mess, I used it as coping mechanism because I couldn't stand the way this world was, so 'erasing it from existence and starting from scratch with a better one' was my all-fix solution to everything, forgive the edgelord I was back then. I was so scared of being hurt and suffering that I saw no other way to cope, it was extreme escapism and thank goodness Mirichu became host in time, thinking about what my future would've looked like if she never did scares the hell out of me. Now she got us a wonderful partner, in a place far away from our stressful environment. You see, this is the kind of thing deep down I always wanted but had no hopes of getting. Ironically, permaswitch, even if failed, might've been the best decision I took in my whole life, because it literally saved it. In short, I came looking for cooper and I found gold.