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About Bay_leave

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  1. Hey, Bear. I've been reading through your progress report and its very interesting and insightful. I've noticed though that you've mentioned hypnogogic meditation, I'm curious as to how you do it.
  2. Hey. I understand your situation. I had a tulpa before I even knew what it really was, and she ended up dissipating. I think I just lost interest because of my short attention span, lack of motivation, depression and guilt because I knew I had been ignoring her. Which lead to her completely disappearing. Something that has helped is I believe she's still a part of me. While she may not be a sentient or active part, I still believe she's in there. Whether in the form of a lesson, or part of my subconscious, I'm not sure. But it helps with the guilt, anyway. I can understand how it must feel to make a mistake like this, and have it come back to haunt you, even if some people think it's just all "made up." Or whatever.
  3. I totally understand this. I have two tulpae right now and, before I really knew what a tulpa was, I had another one, but she's dissipated(?) I suppose. I've told my tulpae about her, about how I feel about the situation, and everything. But with two tulpas.. it would harm her more than anything to bring her back. I don't even know if she can be "revived," so to speak. Best of luck to you and C.
  4. Hey, guys. This is my first time posting on this site, though I've been browsing through it for a few years now. Introductions out of the way, let's get to the problem (this will be a long post I'm sorry ya'll.) So, I have two tulpae named B and Dan. I accidentally created them. B has been around for about 3 years, and Dan for about 1. I created them by, pretty much, being lonely and needing someone to talk to. It started off as a daydream, but before I knew it, it turned into more than just that. I'd talk to them before bed, when I was bored, when I was upset, whenever. Before I knew it I had two tulpae in development. But while they had been "daydreams" at the beginning, they're more than that now. My problem is, like a daydream, you control it, mostly. So I have been pretty much parroting and puppeting my tulpae this entire time. I wanted to think that it was just them speaking in my mind voice, but deep down I knew. It felt different. There didn't feel there was much behind it, and I always knew what my tulpa were going to say before they said it. No, I'm not parrotnoid. I'm sure I've been doing this. Last night, I sat them down. I explained to them that (and I said this nicer than what I'm about to say) basically, I messed up their development and most likely my perception of them by treating them more as servitors and not like actual sentient tulpae. I told them that this will be difficult, but we need to start over. The point of starting over is that I want them to become who they really are, not just who I've perceived and made them to be. Starting over, on the bright side, won't take much effort because I have hardly made any progress over the past few years. No solid sentience confirmation. No vocalization. My visualization is mediocre on a good day. I have no idea how to force without directly puppeting them. The thing is, I fear I've gotten used to doing things the wrong way. I have no idea how to continue from here. Most guides start as if you're creating your first tulpa, but there's none for people who are in this.. situation I've created. I love them both so much and I really do want what's best for them. I just have no idea how to continue from here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks. Changed the title to be more descriptive. - Vos