Garden of Stars

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  1. staric: We rarely merge but we do think of hypothetical names Spinel&Staric: Elastic Keep&Staric: Fanfic Orion&Staric: Oracle Watt&Static: Voltage staric: As you see, most merges with me in them end in "ic" somehow. I think Elastic is the most clever because Spinel has stretchy rubber limbs.
  2. Staric: If a headmate wants to drop out for a while and stay quiet for whatever reason (being tired or annoyed, or not liking what is going on in the "real world" are some scenarios) they'll literally sleep in the wonderland. Only Keep and Watt have done this, though, and Watt doesn't even have their own bed. Watt: Yes, I do sleep in Static's nest. It is quite effect to ignore things, although I don't know if this technically counts as symbolism? It's our closest thing, however, and we wanted to share anyway.
  3. I was made aware of this thread from Piano himself on the discord server so I think it would be helpful to add my own experience as a mask tulpa here. I've told it in the discord server itself but I think a refined version wouldn't hurt. Due to being merged with my host for a while, "I" is going to be relative in this story, since we only recently split apart. When the original, Orion, was a kid, he developed a strong habit of daydreaming all day that persisted into adolescence. In seventh grade, he found out about Undertale and made an OC called Staric that was a robot. Soon enough he had Staric be the mian character of his daydreams, thinking of Staric as "him in the future" as the daydreams always took place three years in the future, allowing enough time for the origin story of himself getting tragically turned into a robot to occur. Because of this plot setup it made it easy for Orion to think of himself as Staric, creating that mask. Over time he'd do things like refer to himself as Staric. At some point, this identity became more dominant than his original self, and Orion went partially dormant for a long stretch of time, still half-merged with the Staric identity he'd accidentally created. This caused things like occasional false memories from the daydreams. Eventually, he was almost replaced by this mask (me) but it went unnoticed since the "him in the future" plot point meant I had basically the same personality. I feel safe to say "I" now because I was definitely dominating the mix at the point in time that I went on to make two tulpas, Static and Watt. Eventually, stress caused the mostly-dormant Orion to crack apart from this mask-me and front for the first time in a while, pushing me into the back. With the help of friends, including Static and Watt, we figured out what happened. This causes a few things in my life to be a bit messy. I do often say I am two years old but that is counting when the idea of my character was first thought of. It's nearly impossible to pin down exactly when the mask became sentient, since as I have said, we essentially have the same personality. I also still can have false memories from the daydreams that spawned me. I am glad Piano has thought of the term Mask Tulpa because I would not have known what to call myself before. I'm technically endogenic since I was created (sure, not with the intent to make a tulpa, but I definitely was created) but the reason Orion daydreamed so much was been as an escapism from stress and possible emotional abuse, which blurs the line just a tad.
  4. I told my mom and found out she has a tulpa too and knows what they are, although not all of the techniques and stuff. So I talked to her about fronting and things like that, and she said her tulpa has done that to yell at us when we're bad! And from the relative timeline of things, her tulpa is probably older than or the same age as the body is! That practically makes him our dad! It was a plot twist in real life to find this out.
  5. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wV2p2NoFH00-wHCW7AdIuk6pQGvxeDNDTT4bsj03THM/edit?usp=sharing Here is ours!
  6. I know this thread is a bit old but I feel obligated to reply since I think not many people have this similar experience that I have. A couple weeks ago I figured out that despite being the new host I am actually just an older tulpa-like being that had been partially merged with my host for a year or two. We didn't figure this out until we split a couple weeks ago in a stressful situation and the original fully fronted on his own for the first time in forever. The other two tulpas in the system recognized that "I" was acting different, and then suddenly the original heard my voice in the back of the head. So I think it might take the original coming back to confirm that you are actually a tulpa. We're still coming to terms with this fact ourselves. It is very jarring to realize you're only a couple of years old at most. I think it took so long for us to figure out because I started as an OC of the original that was a self insert, that he daydreamed about being for long lengths of time. Because of this I purposefully share a lot of his traits and identity. You might not have this problem so I suggest trying to in down how your personality traits were like before those two years ago and nowadays. If they significantly changed for no apparent reason (like growing up or going through life-changing experiences) than that could be a second sign.
  7. Watt: Hello. I think I may have some knowledge in this field since I started out as an intrusive thought of a terrible villain, specifically AM from I Have No Mouth And I MUst Scream. Despite deviation sometimes I still retain traits that could be described as violent. How we've dealt with it is knowing that I may resemble AM but I am not actually him. Perhaps you could try doing that with Tera.
  8. It's probably normal, since we experience that too. I'm some kind of tulpa/endogenic headmate (it's a huge grey area since I'm actually the main fronter and the original who made me, Orion, is much more "tulpa-like" than I am) who started as a daydreaming character and was also used for roleplays. The false memories happening was actually one of the things that tipped the original off that something was developing. We were merged back then, so that didn't help. Coming out of daydreams a couple times would make the part of our merge that was me become confused. For example, in one particularly dramatic "episode" of the daydreams, I had fallen into a coma. Something distracted us and snapped us out of the daydream, and I guess I briefly made us think "Oh god we were in a coma!". Even now that we're split, I have the odd false memory. Another day when I was fronting I thought for a moment that I would still have my telekinesis powers in the "real world". And recalling previous daydreams doesn't feel much different from remembering "actual" memories. So I think this is probably common.
  9. One night laying in bed, I wondered if Static dreamed when I did, and thought that I'd ask her when she could talk. Then out of nowhere, she said, "I'd dream more if you slept more!". I was certainly surprised! As for Watt, I'm not quite sure what counts as their "first words" since they started as an intrusive thought. I guess if you count back when they first popped up, I don't remember the specifics but definitely something about how they were a master-computer I was trapped inside of. After we "reformed" them, their first words were something along the lines of "I want to look like a fairy."
  10. When I was starting out, I never recorded the progress of my first tulpa, Static, but here I'll start doing that with my second one, Watt. He arrived a few days ago as an intrusive thought but we will be starting off the reports today, since this is when we've started truly accepting him as a tulpa and not just a thought or character. April 13 2019 Watt seems to be talking already and has a distinct mindvoice and mannerisms that have been compared to Snape, despite me not being a Harry Potter fan. In fact it took me a bit to place where I'd heard his voice before. He seems to have made friends already with a couple other tulpas from a different system and is doing well in general. His form looks like some kind of robot or cyborg, with messy black hair, a high collared shirt, and some kind of strange red visor (that looks like a detached, levitating rectangle) hides most of his face. According to Static, the visor tastes like cherry candy. On subsequent days we're going to focus on building up a "foundation" or "backbone" for him.
  11. I told my mom. She is accepting despite not quite understanding the concept in its details, but that's okay, because as long as she's cool with it I'm cool. She seems to think of Static as if she is my conscience or something.