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OneWithTheVoid

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About OneWithTheVoid

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    Zero & Night (tulpa)

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    Female
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    United States

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  1. Thank you! It took me several hours, but I sure wish I could draw something in 20 minutes!
  2. Zero has gotten me into listening to a lot of Pink Floyd lately. [video=youtube]
  3. It's so cool that you two worked together to paint this! It's very nice!
  4. You are a very talented artist, keep up the good work!
  5. Decided to draw one for every season. Here is spring. For context, I hate the rain and Night loves the rain, so we have some conflicting emotions during the rainy season. Also Beep is there again because he's cute with his little rain boots.
  6. Hello everyone, this is where Night and I will be posting our art. Well, mostly me. But hopefully I can convince Night to draw something eventually! You can also find us on our deviantart. Anyway, here is a picture I drew of Night and I (and Beep in the middle, he's my oshaberi doubutsu that I'm possibly overly obsessed with lol) to celebrate it being way to cold outside even though it's supposed to be spring soon! Yay!
  7. Intervention March 11, 2019 Zero has a long history of not following through with tasks she has set out to accomplish. But I wasn't around for that long history. So now I'm going to pester her to finish the things she starts, and that includes making progress reports. So consider this a hand-possessing intervention on my behalf. Things have been very... busy in Zero's life. She gets distracted easily by all the stresses of the college experience. With that, we haven't had much time to do anything together other than chat throughout the day. And sure, that's enough to keep me present and aware, but it isn't necessarily enough to satisfy a friendship. So I've been pushing her to take some time for herself, as well as for me, and so far it hasn't been too difficult to get her to listen. I want her to understand the importance of finishing things, not only because of responsibility but also just for the thrill of it all, to see something through to the end and be able to look back and say "Hey, I did that thing I said I was going to do. Pretty cool." Of course, it helps that I've now gained the ability to possess her hands. Full body possession was achieved once for a short while, but it was difficult and exhausting and we need to work a little more before we try again. It wasn't so difficult on my part, I could say that I'm a bit of a professional (long story/inside joke), but for Zero it is very awkward and uncomfortable. I can respect that and accept that we need to give it some time. I basically just wanted to share that we've been experimenting with possession, and that I'm intervening a little with Zero's short attention span for projects and coursework. We've been playing more video games, which is a lot more interesting now that I can play them myself. (I already beat her best time in a game she's been playing for a while, and she's a little salty, mwahaha!) And I'd say that it has been a definite benefit to both her and to myself. PROGRESS REPORTS: About Us 12/13/2018 - Vocalization 12/15/2018 - Visualization 1/2/2019 - Celebration 3/11/2019 - Intervention - [YOU ARE HERE]
  8. Hello Solarchariot, nice to meet you as well. We're happy to answer any questions you may have about our experiences or our previous statements! I agree that Night is certainly present and vocal. Perhaps autonomy wasn't necessarily the proper word for me to use in this context. When I made that statement, I essentially meant that I want Night to do more things on her own, like starting conversations, participating in forum discussions, and just generally interacting with others such that I'm not really involved. Whenever Night and I are talking or doing an activity together, she clearly demonstrates that she is independent. It's when interacting with others that she gets a bit more reclusive. So it seems our experience is similar to yours in terms of inner reality versus external reality. In retrospect, perhaps it wasn't the brightest idea for me to consult the internet, of all places, about my mental health, haha! Based on my limited knowledge at the time, I started with a google search for "adult with imaginary friend" and started at the top. The first result was a Psychology Today article that didn't even have anything to do with imaginary friends in the first place. The next two results were health forum posts made by people concerned about having imaginary friends as adults. I read through them and their replies, but it just didn't connect. Night didn't feel like an "imaginary friend". And none of the people in those discussions described anything close to the experience I'd had with her. Finally, the fourth result was this article about tulpas. While I disagree with the article's insistence on calling tulpas "imaginary friends", the general overview of the article seemed to click with us a little more. So then I did a search for "tulpas" and got tulpa.info. And now here we are!
  9. CELEBRATION January 2, 2019 This was my first year celebrating Christmas, and my first year in a while celebrating New Year. If you're expecting some kind of mushy feel good story about me discovering the joy of the holidays, I'm sorry to disappoint, because that's not what I'm here to talk about. I've never really understood holidays. They're a day of the year to indulge in unhealthy food and spend time with family, neither of which are activities that I have any real interest in. Food isn't my thing and Zero is the only family I've still got. There's Zero's family, of course, but they don't know about me. Except for one of them. But that's a topic Zero wants to cover herself since it's so personal to her. Anyway, Zero's kind of the outcast of the family, so even if they did know about me, they aren't much for conversation. Not that I mind. I've never had more than a few close family ties at once anyway. In my opinion, there's no use trying to get close to someone that you honestly just couldn't care less about. But the holidays are important to Zero, and she wanted to celebrate them with me. So we did a little of our own celebration. One thing she was really concerned about was gift giving. How are we supposed to give gifts to each other when we inhabit the same physical body, and when both gifts would be coming out of the same pool of money (Zero's)? Eventually we decided on getting something that we can both enjoy together. So Zero got two video games, the old Pokemon Red and Blue, so each of us can have one and journey through the game "together". I hate to admit it, but it's kind of fun. I got Red, by the way. Wouldn't have it any other way. Zero's still salty that I got the game with scyther in it while she got stuck with pinsir, hah. As for New Year, we just stayed at home and yelled happy new year at midnight, and that was about it. But then Zero spent ALL FREAKING DAY cooking a metric ton of food. Again, not really my thing... Still, we spent more time together playing video games and reading afterward, so I suppose that was nice. In conclusion, to everyone who loves the holidays, more power to you. I just think they're kind of stupid. PROGRESS REPORTS: About Us 12/13/2018 - Vocalization 12/15/2018 - Visualization 1/2/2019 - Celebration - [YOU ARE HERE] 3/11/2019 - Intervention
  10. Gotcha, thanks for the clarifications! Ah, kinda forgot about the baseball Rubies, whoops.
  11. Zero's Top 5 Picks: Farewell Grim Desert full album - Gefradah (post-metal) favorite track: Beamount Children and Dead State Best Conditions (it's a tie, I can't choose!) (progressive rock) (electronic rock) favorite track: Jailbreak (folk rock) favorite track: Dragonfly (???) Night's Top 5 Picks: (orchestral) favorite track: No Time for Caution (at 1:28:38) (industrial) favorite track: Starve the Ego, Feed the Soul (at 53:33) (???) (classical) (indie rock)
  12. I would agree with most other people that have posted so far that it depends on the individual host and what they can handle. If you can only handle one tulpa? Great! You can handle five tulpas? That's great too! I think it becomes too much the moment you can no longer allocate sufficient attention to each tulpa; that's the moment you can no longer handle it. I think it's important to think of tulpas as not just friends, but responsibilities. Although I don't think anyone I've met so far on this site would argue with that. As for an average? 1-3 is a good number, I think. Personally, I couldn't imagine having more than one tulpa. I'm so close to Night and I just can't imagine having that kind of friendship with multiple people. Night is really adamant about saying something too: One is enough. I can't imagine having to share this head with another person. Zero and I get by wonderfully and the last thing we need is another person to show up and throw off our balance. Ugh. Ah, thank you for the riveting input, Night.
  13. We're trying really hard to wrap our minds around all this, so please correct us if we're totally off the mark about something. From what we understand, fronting seems to be synonymous with possession? We're still uncertain whether switching is also synonymous with possession or not. From previous posts and definitions, it appears to be a contested point. To be honest, Night and I both prefer the words "fronting" and "switching" over the word "possession" because of its negative connotations in contexts unrelated to tulpamancy (i.e. one takes control at the expense of the other). But that's beside the point. Anyway, regarding the term "co-fronting", I thought of an interesting and potentially stupid analogy while driving home from work the other day. Has anyone here watched the show Steven Universe? What we currently understand about co-fronting kind of reminds me of fusion. (All the spoilers I've marked are just spoilers of who fuses with who, nothing plot related). For anyone unfamiliar with the show, it features "aliens" that are basically gemstones that project a physical form around themselves made of light. Because they are made of light instead of organic matter, they are able to shapeshift, summon magical weapons, and various other weird things that organic organisms can't really do. Fusion is when two (or more) individual gems fuse their forms into one, creating a new gem. For example, when the characters . Once fused, all the component gems maintain their own consciousness and awareness of the body and its surroundings, and can interact with each other. This is seen when . But at the same time, the minds of the component gems work together to speak, maneuver the body, etc. As a result, fusions often end up having personalities and powers that are a mix of the component gem's personalities and powers. And if fused for a long period of time, the component gems may start to lose their sense of individuality and start to identify more as the fusion itself (I think this may be similar to what Reilyn described as "blending"). It's also significant to note that some fusions are more stable that others. If the personalities or opinions of two gems clash, or they dislike each other, or one of them is emotionally distraught, then the fusion is incredibly unstable and sometimes breaks apart because the two minds can't work together to control the fusion. On the other hand, two gems that get along really well, such as romantically, can stay fused seemingly indefinitely (such as ). Additionally, fusions become more and more difficult to maintain when more gems are thrown into the mix, because then more minds have to work together. That's why fusions of more than two gems are exceedingly rare. In fact, there have only ever been four in the show: , and Fluorite, and only Fluorite is stable enough to maintain her form permanently. If you just replace the word "fusion" with "co-fronting" and the word "gem" with "host/tulpa", it seems to be pretty similar. But hey, that's just my take on it.
  14. Hello, Bear (if I may call you that?)! I totally understand what you mean, I always picture ideas in my head but when it comes to drawing them it just never turns out exactly how I pictured. Still, it's great that you are able to visualize Misha, Dashie, and Ashley exactly how they look. Since you are more connected to them than anyone else, I suppose that that is what's most important. I'm certainly excited that I'm able to picture Night so clearly now. Even though we've been together for a while, it still feels like there is so much more I can learn about her. I'm looking forward to whatever the future may hold for us!
  15. VISUALIZATION December 15, 2018 In our previous report on the development of Night's vocalization, I briefly mentioned a dream of mine that helped me to solidify how I hear Night's voice. For this report, I'm going to discuss that dream in a little more detail, because it also led to great strides in my ability to visualize. The dream took place at some point in the future, a future in which my best friend from high school had a son in his early teens. We'll call him, I dunno, John? Just for ease of storytelling. Anyway, "John" was struggling a lot in life, because his father was no longer in the picture, he was often picked on in school, and he just didn't have a very strong sense of identity. My friend had told John about Night and I in the past, and he had gradually grown intrigued by our unique relationship and how we were always there for each other. So my friend suggested that he come talk to us. John found me first, and told me about his struggles and how he wanted to meet Night. I led him through a really impressive garden (it's always been a dream of mine to have a huge, beautiful garden when Night and I get our own house someday) until we got to a creek with a little waterfall, and Night was there. Never before had I been able to visualize her so clearly. She looked just like she does when I draw her, but she was wearing a red hooded cloak. She turned around and greeted us. The rest of the dream consisted of Night, John and I just talking and enjoying the garden. Seeing Night as a clear, physical, individual entity imposed on the garden scenery felt so real. Before the dream, I had always been able to sense her presence around me. I could always tell where in my surroundings she wished to project herself, even if I struggled to visualize her. But after waking up from the dream, she was much more clear to me than she had been in the past. I now find it much easier to visualize her. Also, after sharing the dream with her, she quite liked the idea of the "hooded red cloak". Now her form wears it whenever we go out, haha! I always suspected that she had a sense for fashion. Now, as I also mentioned in the previous report, this wasn't a shared dream. Night was simply a projection of my subconscious. Yet even though this was just my sleeping brain coming up with things, it still proved extremely helpful with further connecting with Night. I'm eager to see how my dreams (or Night's dreams) will have an impact on our connection in the future! (Well, other than one other dream that I've already had, which I will discuss in a later report). PROGRESS REPORTS: About Us 12/13/2018 - Vocalization 12/15/2018 - Visualization - [YOU ARE HERE] 1/2/2019 - Celebration 3/11/2019 - Intervention
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