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Subroutine

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About Subroutine

  • Rank
    Member

Converted

  • Sex
    Male
  • Location
    United States, VT
  1. Well, I got something interesting today. Actually, today was my first day back to forcing in earnest. At the time of my last post, I just started acknowledging her, thinking about her, etc. Today, though, we had a good several-hour-long conversation that has so far extended right up to this very moment. I was suprised to find I actually missed her company, even though I still think I got very little accomplished before. Feels good, man. I also drew a quick picture of her (TFW you realize your tupper has looked like Lauren Faust's OC since the very beginning). I would polish it more, but I have to go to sleep.
  2. Welp, it's been awhile. I've been working on my art skillz for the past two months, and have hardly thought about her at all since I last posted. I'm coming back to it; even though I never really had any interesting experiences, I'm not ready to give up just yet. So, she's still the same pony. The 'morrowind character' thing didn't stick, especially since it was just a desperate trick to keep myself from losing interest. I'm not going to do anything I said in my last post here, either. I'm just going to spend time with her, and whatever happens, happens. If something cool occurs, I'll write it here.
  3. http://i.imgur.com/G55dz.jpg[/img] Well, I was gonna put this in the 'draw our tulpa' thread, but I already posted a picture there. This one's more about the scenery, anyway. This is my room in the wonderland. It's the only room I won't let Cassie change, and it's based off of the maria doria from tomb raider 2. I usually first enter the wonderland seated on the couch to the left.
  4. Meet Cassie, everyone. I drew this loooooong before I started making her my tulpa, before I even had a tablet (this was done in GIMP, with the paths tool). Her form hasn't changed much, though. Her other, more common form is a pony version of this.
  5. Ooo, an intro thread. I should've looked for this when I first joined. Hiya, ladies and gentlemen of this fine establishment. My name's Cody, and I was coaxed into making a tulpa a while ago (Maybe two months? I'm terrible with time.) My tulpa remains a female pony, with the recent addition of an alternate form (for the days when I'm not feeling the pony). To date, she's only vocal during forcing or extended dialogue, when I have nothing else on my mind. Intrusive thoughts remain an obstacle as well, but I do experience the odd burst of sentience to level everything out. I take a very loose approach to tulpamancy in general, and avoid methods and guides whenever I can ('Course, I read the guides in the beginning, but quickly surmised that they weren't going to work for me and ignored them.) I was inducted by a youtube video, one of those 'thread simulators', and it was about tulpae. I watched it, googled 'tulpa', read the wikipedia definition, and wound up here. My tulpa shall be based off of the villain from Battletanx: Global Assault, except pony. I chose that game because it was my favorite as a kid, and I still play it to this day. As for my other interests: When I'm not watching retarded youtube videos, keeping up with pony news on EQD or working at my local gas station, I sometimes do a little art in SAI. I'm also married. Ohyeah, my tulpa's name is Cassie. Cheers, everyone!
  6. It's been a few days. My forcing has peaked at an hour a day, and I leveled it off there. It's tough to hold it for much longer. She still speaks, but only when I'm thinking about her, as before. The only thing that I can report on improving is the transitions from real world to wonderland, or not imposing to imposed. They seem a bit smoother. Maybe. It's been long enough. I'm about ready to proceed with either: A) Working on visual imposition. B) Imposing her voice audibly. C) Getting her to speak to me (Or do anything, really) when I'm not thinking about her. Ergo, make her more sentient and independent. So, I'm off to do some research.
  7. This 'facial-expression-copying' thing happens to me on occasion. I'm not really sure what causes it; maybe it's just you having a strong awareness of the look on your face, and that bleeds over into your visualization.
  8. Well, the thing that bugs me is they're never of my tulpa. Always of something that just floated into my head when I lost focus for a moment. I'm gonna try letting the images come to me, but I've done it before, and I've gotten a jumble of inane, meaningless imagery. Maybe there's a method to it? I'm still curious as to whether this happens to other people, and if it meant something to them or not.
  9. Has anyone else experienced this? Be visualizing with your eyes closed, just watching the scenery move in your imagination, when suddenly an image jumps out at you in vivid, photo-grade detail. Strong enough so that, if you clear your head and just look at the darkness behind your eyelids, the outline of the image is still there and clearly visible with no imagination required at all. The first time this happened, it startled me, and it's happened four times since. The last one was just a moment ago. It seems to happen when my mind drifts while visualizing my tulpa, and trying to talk to her. Is it perhaps my tulpa, trying to get me to go back to visualizing her again? Is it just a really powerful intrusive thought? Maybe I'm just falling asleep at the wheel. :( This never happened before I started forcing. If this is a good sign, I'll be excited, but maybe it means I've made a mistake somewhere along the line; I'd want to know right away if that's the case so I can try and correct it. Thanks for reading.
  10. Hooray! My first wall of text! xD On the off chance anyone is keeping up with this, I have had no major groundbreaking progress since my last post. I continue to have good days, where I am certain my tulpa exists; and off days, where I'm not even sure I should continue with her. I was never really keeping track of hours, but now I'm not even keeping track of days anymore, and I deleted my personal tulpa log in a drunken stupor (one of those 'off days'). I have made absolutely no significant progress since my last post. My forcing attempts have been sporadic at best; maybe half an hour a day or so? I try to keep her in my thoughts as much as possible, but it isn't easy for me. However, there is something worth noting; I've decided on a final form for her. I started off making her as a ponified version of the villain from Battletanx 2 (BEST GAME EVER), and named her Cassie. Then, as I got about a month into it, she changed her form one night (the aforementioned time she freaked me out by staring at me). I ran with that for awhile, then went through a flurry of small modifications (like hairstyles) a few weeks before cycling through a few major changes (I briefly considered making her a cyborg pony), and finally ending back where I began. None of them ever felt right, though. I had trouble visualizing, I had trouble connecting her voice with her body, etc. Recently, though, I've had a loss of interest in the fandom. I'll still watch the episodes, of course, but the bronies are (sadly) ceasing to amuse me. This also dims my interest in the show to near-normal-person levels (EGADS). So, I've been open to the possibility of creating a non-pony form for her. I wanted something I had a bit of history with, as I've only been a brony since August, but I didn't have any real ideas. Two days ago, I bought a copy of Skyrim, and it reminded me of all the adventures and good feels had losing myself in Morrowind. I still have it, but I don't play much anymore; at least, not since I got into ponies. Then, I had an epiphany. I've had my Morrowind character going for almost three years running now; why not give Cassie her form? I'm already very familiar with it. It would give me a lot to discuss with her; and since PCs in the elder scrolls games generally have no personality of their own, I was free to insert Cassie's. Simplicity itself. Maybe I could even go adventuring with her onscreen? The more I thought about it, the better it seemed. I'll post a screenshot I took here, if I can figure out how. I'll stick with the name Cassie, and discard my ingame character's name, to avoid confusion. On a side note, for anyone who may or may not be wondering why I'm sitting on my arse in this thread and not contributing to the rest of the community ('cause I feel guilty about it), I just want to establish some backstory for myself later on. Besides, If I don't have a fully sentient, fully imposed, actively communicating tulpa, I have nothing to contribute. The way I see it, anyway. I've asked her, and she seems pretty happy with the new form. I'm reasonably certain she's losing interest in the fandom right alongside me.
  11. Okay, so my time off is almost up. I had an interesting interaction with my tulpa that I'll log here. ---Day 23--- \11-10-12 Total Forcing Time: ~1 hour 10 minutes Nothing of interest to report outside the conversation noted above, just narration and conversations about random things. For context purposes, a couple days ago, she scared the crap outta me. I was hopped up on energy drinks, and I went out for a smoke. As I was walking out the door, I could feel her appear behind me, except she looked different; she was blue, and she was staring at me really intensely. She didn't say anything, just kept boring a hole in the back of my head with her gaze. I tried just walking away, but she just followed me calmly. She left me alone once I got back into the building, but I was still shaken (In a good way, not in an 'Oh dear god she's gonna kill me' way). Me: So, what happened a few days ago? Her: Huh? Me: You were staring at me. Her: Oh, that. Me: You weren't angry, were you? Her: You said 'surprise me'. Me: Wut? Her: You told me to surprise you. Me: Yeah, but you didn't do anything... Her: Well, not right away. Then it wouldn't have been a *giggle* suprise! Me: areyoufuckingkiddingme.jpg Her: *laughing hysterically* She hugged me afterwards. It was a good experience.
  12. Well, thanks for the confidence boost. I can't really know for sure whether it's her talking, or just me hearing my own thoughts, unless I give her a distinct voice; that'll be my next task, I think. Also tried to talk to her a little before work yesterday afternoon, and got pretty much the same results as before. I didn't record it, either. The thing that really throws me for a loop is that I expect her to say something back when I speak to her. When I hear her say exactly what I was expecting, I get doubtful. Tonight, I'm gonna get drunk and lurk on the internet 'till the sun comes up, so no forcing. I have the next two days off, however, and I will be putting in some serious time on her; I really want to make this work for us. I am determined.
  13. Hiya folks. I'm a newbie to this, and I've been attempting to create a tulpa for the past twenty days. An average of 45 minutes was spent each day forcing, and I'm trying to improve that number, but I'm losing hope this is going to work at all. Commence the log. ---Day 21--- \11-08-12 Forcing Session 1 Started 2:44 AM (I work nights.) Ended 3:12 AM I don't know; sometimes, it seems like she's genuinely talking to me, and other times it feels like I'm just talking to myself. I don't have any real issues with visualization, just trying to get her to talk on her own that's the problem; that, or being able to recognize when it happens. Usually, I'll try and narrate to her (even though I never have anything to talk about), and I'll hear responses (a lot of which while I'm right in the middle of my sentence), but never an unexpected response completely out of the blue; and, if I forget about her for an hour or two, I hear nothing from her. She never interrupts me or grabs my attention. Perhaps my concentration is lacking. Perhaps I just don't know how to listen for something other than myself in my head. If anyone has any information regarding how I might move this process forward a bit, please let me know. I haven't given up completely yet, but it seems like I've hit a wall here. Thanks for reading.
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