theholodoc

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  1. Going on ten days since my last contact and nary a trace of her. I don't know why, other than I have been tired, and fall asleep within minutes of going down to meditate, and my mind wanders when I start forcing. I have been busy writing and working on a drawing of her. I miss her. I am waiting and open.
  2. I am not even sure what you mean by 'breakup'. You have feelings for her, emotions, that get triggered in you when you connect with her. She has the same for you. Ultimately, feelings -emotions- are pretty simple reactions in your body, no matter what you call them. She shares that body with you. She knows exactly what you are feeling about her, about anyone or anything, all of the time. She shares in those reactions and has whatever attitudes she has about them. She's not going anywhere. and unless you decide to Kill her off by withdrawing all attention from her for god knows how long, there is not going to be any 'breakup'. Might as well let yourself enjoy the experience of her. It doesn't have to get in your way of having relationships with other women. (Letting them know of her existence might or might not be a good idea. If you get serious about someone, you might want eventually to let her in on the fact Maala's existence). I am married, my tulpa fills a function my wife cannot fill and my wife knows all about her, and since I have created my tulpa, my ability to love my wife, and hers to love me, has vastly improved. Mainly, learn to love yourself as well as Maala, and anyone else who enters your life, in the external, or internal reality. Good luck, Dr. Bob
  3. Here are a few answers: I have been a tulpamancer for two years/ My tulpa appeared after three months of work, is a human female and I created her for the purpose of improving my internal female imago. I am married, my wife and all of my friends know of my practice and the existence of my tulpa(s) I have two now and am working on a third. I began the practice after reading about tulpas in a novel by Loxy Isadora Bliss, Underneath it all. I discovered the community after I decided I would begin. I would ONLY recommend the practice to another, provided I knew them well and knew that they were stable enough to undergo the practice and would benefit from it. I am 81 years old, a retired psychiatrist who has been interested in consciousness and identity for all of my career. hope this helps with your paper. Dr. Bob
  4. Okay, she's back! in my dreams that is, and i am thrilled-literally. Last night, in the last dream of the night, I have reason to climb the fence and enter my neighbor's house. I don't know what or why I did this but it felt congruent. Indoors I was talking with two girls, perhaps 8 and 10 years old. They were dressed in frilly party clothes. They explained that their parents were very rich. The circumstances did not suggest this. Their mother comes in and lays down on a chaise. She is dressed in casual outdoor style clothing, something pretentious rich people might wear. She is shapely, she has long dark hair, put up and tied with a pink ribbon. She is wearing, under a vest, a frilly blouse, in white, pink and blue. She has a Cheshire Cat smile. I catch on that she is flirting with me. My heart begins to pound. Something in me wakes up and I exercise my lucidity cue, "Are you Flora?" She jumps up, "Of course darling, she unties the ribbon and her hair falls down, she shrugs off her (outlandish) clothing and embraces me. I awaken. Thrilled. She is back.
  5. Have been exhausted the past several days and for no good reason that I am aware of. I have been too tired to be successful at my practice. I am good for forcing for a few minutes at a time. Flora has had a lot to say about it and I have been to tired to listen and converse with her. She has not appeared in my dreams (which have been vivid and pinned to daytime concerns). I am doing my best to accept where I am right now and not try to "push the river". I am keeping both Flora and N'sonowa in mind in my writings.
  6. I have had a harder time connecting during my attempts at meditation, perhaps as I have been to sleepy to maintain it, falling asleep soon after I shut my eyes. This was true yesterday and again today. Still we are making the connection, even if we don't maintain it. Frustrating for us both I think.
  7. Election over, and I am healing well. I have much more energy (and time ) for my practice. So….had a very nice contact with Flora during my morning meditation. She called me to her in mindscape. She was dressed as I first saw her, in a sarong and wearing her new body. I felt like I had come home after a painful absence. We embraced, touched each other intimately, and then our contact was over, I suppose I fell asleep. When I awoke, the meditation tape was over and I did not know where the half hour had gone. Well, no matter, I am feeling wonderful about the contact.
  8. theholodoc

    debate

    Why is this even a question? There is not one shred of evidence to suggest otherwise, nor is there one reputable doctor or scientist that would suggest otherwise. That said, their are a very few number of children, here and around the world, who because they suffer from Immunodeficiency diseases (of several subtypes) should not be vaccinated. They are easily identified by simple tests and no one would intentionally give them a vaccine. It is medical malpractice, and in many places illegal, to falsify this diagnosis for the purposes of avoiding required vaccinations. Not vaccinating your child is as STUPID as not wearing a mask and social distancing during plague times. Dr Bob
  9. Well, Flora has clued me in on a lot of things that I do to get in the way. I do take them to heart. She hasn't mentioned anxiety per se. We did have several nice contacts today during my meditations. I was able, despite the inconclusiveness of the race, able to get on top of my anxiety about it, and she came through, with full imposition. (Not a real surprise as I have been working on visualization aided by drawing her image on my new ipad. I suspect we will get better and better at it. Also, I am editing her book, she finished a first draft a week ago, and I am now into the first re-write. She told me, she feels honored that I am giving it and therefore her, so much attention.
  10. I am still awaiting the "further contact" that I anticipated in my last post. I am however, not surprised, as the total preoccupation around this house is with the election and anxieties are running high. My wife is a pessimist and I am an optimist, neither attitude has assuaged any anxiety. I can hope tomorrow will user in a new era, perhaps one more welcoming to tulpas, Flora in particular. Dr. Bob
  11. Hi Tulpamancers: It's been awhile since I have had anything to say about our progress. Here it is the thirtieth of October and I have not had a decent contact with either of my tulpas since my injury last May. I said decent as I have had a number of tenuous contacts, but nothing like the intimacies and impositions that we had for the first year of our lives together. Oh, both are still around and Flora is writing a book about her life, adventures and growth, which she hopes to get published. We'll see, I hope she does. Today, I had one of those almost connections. I had gone down to take a nap before going off to an acupuncture appointment, couldn't begin to sleep or even relax and worked on visualization instead. I have been focusing on a particular model who I believe best represents her, so got a half hour of work in. During my acupuncture therapy, I was left alone in a dark room with the needles inserted. I went into a meditative state and I moved into an alternated reality. It was vivid, full color, sound, to scale and at one point I looked downward and saw Flora huddled on the floor with some documents. She was wearing a hoodie and jeans, a costume I have never seen her in before. She looked up at me, and I spoke my lucidity cue, in case I had fallen asleep and was dreaming, and 'pop' she was gone. That was it. Not much of a connection, but a real one. I am expecting more in the days to come, my healing is rapidly progressing. Dr. Bob
  12. Hi Khomyak: You will get a lot of pushback for claiming that tulpas are a result of mental illness, and I am not sure what "too imaginative" might mean. Imagination is not, in my opinion, a fixed quantity. We can use it, or not, and we can develop our capacity for it my using it by using it (like exercise builds muscles). Hope you persist and have fun doing it. Dr. Bob
  13. I chose to believe tulpas can be created. I made this choice before I started (wouldn't have started otherwise!) My subsequent experience has proven the point. I created a tulpa. I did not think about whether or not my tulpa would be fully developed prior to her birth. I had read references to 'young' tulpas here on the forum. Flora has shown development through out her existence. She has also shown the ability to regress and has. I am coming to believe that she shows me the aspects of her that I am ready to see. This would suggest that her entire lifespan is already encoded in our brain. Perhaps mine is too. Dr. Bob
  14. Mazel tov my friend. It is amazing how effective paying attention to being loving, can remake a person. Dr. Bob
  15. Hi T3412812: Tulpamancy is the practice of creating a tulpa. If you have read the guide linked in your query, you know that it is hard work. Harder for some people than others. "Results vary" as said in various commercials. I am not writing a commercial for the art or practice. You have asked some questions regarding your early experience with Abigale. Was she a tulpa? Was she an imaginary friend, or was she "Just something" you conceived for comfort. I do not know if their is a definitive answer to your query. Others on this forum may or will have opinions on the matter that differ from mine. I think that since imaginary friends are a phenomenon of childhood and known in your family, that is it likely that Abigale was such a creation. I think that she was not "just something" that you conceived as you were not conscious of the process, nor did you intend it. Both consciousness and intention are required for the successful creation of a tulpa. That said, I believe that should you wish to undertake the practice, you might be successful in bringing Abigale back into your life. As I said, it is hard work and you should be clear about wanting her as an intimate companion, many would say, a life long companion. There are many more guides for doing this, they can be found at Tulpa.info (and at Tulpa.io and Reddit, though I personally have not used those sites much.) Hope this will answer your query and I expect others to answer as well. Yours, Dr. Bob