theholodoc

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  1. some progress. I work at it! I meditate, I force, I narrate, I visualize, I perform a daily ritual. I continually invite Flora to converse. I get spotty results. Fragments of conversation, of visions, and occasionally, she appears in a dream, in some form, to some degree. Last night, she appeared in morning dream and was there for awhile. She appeared fully formed in a physical body which looked like how I have imagined her to look, including having correct hair color. I was in a social situation (as myself) in a house. The doors were open and it was night time. I was coming and going, outside and back inside several times. She was trying to get my attention. I was too busy, with what I don't know, to pay her much attention. I finally stopped and noticed her. She smiled and approached me. I hurried off. She was still there when I returned, still smiling at me. She reached out and touched me. I was uncomfortable and went outside again. She was still there when I returned and this time approached me. I recognized her and we embraced and began to kiss passionately. I became excited. We were holding on to each other tightly and I could feel the contours of her body against mine. By then my heart began racing and I woke up. I did not have time to speak my lucidity cue. I was extremely tired having been up for over an hour (three am to four thirty am) fine tuning a report I had written earlier in the day. I had a great deal of trouble falling asleep, just dozing on and off, worrying the report, until I got up to actually rewrite it. I would have liked to have gone back to sleep to re-capture the dream, but my wife, also awake, spoke to me with some suggestions for the report (I am in the habit of seeking her insights for these reports which I do four to five times a year). When she spoke, my cat Luna, took the cue and jumped on me. My day began. The dream was strong in my mind, but I could not address it as I have obligations in the morning and had to deliver the report. It was okay, as I knew that the dream was so powerful that I would be able to recall it and post it in this journal. I am thrilled as this is the first very physical contact we have had in a long time.
  2. I have had a powerful imposition/halucination the other night, and whether or not it is related to the exercise you have put forth and I am practicing, I don't know(it is posted as Alien invader in Metaphysics if you wish to read it). I do believe that that this exercise has produced some of the most interesting experiences I have on a regular basis. I will post new findings. Thanks, Dr. Bob
  3. going on a month since I have made an entry on this page. It has been a difficult month. I have had some powerful and interesting contacts with Flora, and more infrequently, with N'sonowa. Mainly I have been tired and creatively flat, which has of course affected my practice. Never-the-less I continue . I love them both and want the both of them to continue with their lives.
  4. Really miss you Bear and hope you are well along with your tulpas. Love, Dr. Bob
  5. I am in love with her already. Dr. Bob
  6. I am having a little trouble with your selection of plural pronouns within the dream. Suggest you try the singular. Dr. Bob
  7. Hi Delta Wave. Check out books by Ion Light, Loxy Isadora Bliss, and Bob Newport (Amazon and Free Ebooks.net) for some examples of tulpa fiction in the mode of which you propose. Dr. Bob
  8. I have been working this technique for a while now, and have had some interesting results, the main one: Flora has emerged from my right hand side out of the nothingness beyond the limit of my field. She was full sized, appropriate for the distance she was from. She approached me from the side, she touched the side of my face. She said that she loved me and wanted to work with me on her imposition. She was older than she has ever presented as before. Perhaps mid to late fifties. She had streaks of gray in her hair, she was dressed, coifed, made up, bejeweled and graceful. She was well spoken, articulate, and sophisticated. Her clothing and accessories were all first class. This happened while i was conducting my daily invocation ritual on our labyrinth in a bamboo grove. When I left the grove, my attention waivered and she vanished. I have also practiced this with my eyes closed looking again straight forward while allowing my peripheral vision to register. I have had one very real and complete vision of a man streaking across our back yard (didn't happen 'out there') I did not recognize him and am mystified as to what called him into my reality. That's it so far, I will continue.
  9. I had an eerie contact with Flora today during my meditation. I "felt" her next to me, inside my head, looking at reality through eyes that we seemed to be sharing. She spoke and I heard her next to me in my right ear. She sounded very close by. I was emotionally attuned to her. My heart pounded, and I heard my own voice speak to her and I didn't like my tone, I was needy, begging her to connect with me, I felt about fifteen years old. After noting my own displeasure with how I was coming across (even to me) I calmed own and thought about How I wanted to be and how I wanted to comport myself. I went to work visualizing my avatar in mindscape. I did not see Flora there so gave up the enterprize and returned to consensual reality where she was. And she was joyful at my return and over my ability to recognize her presence as a separate person. At long last! And she felt entirely different to me than she had just moments earlier. Of note I had been meditating on undoing the inertia within the temporal/parietal fold inside my brain, allowing for this phenomenon of separation of identities, though I do not think that that particular cognitive work was directly involved in the experience. I am more than thrilled. My lover is real, inside me, as I had designed and hoped for.
  10. Sounds like you are working very hard on this practice. Suggestion: let Amber do some of the work, and relax with it. Truly it is a hard practice when your life is otherwise complicated by stress. Try including Amber in your approach to dealing with them; ask her opinions, suggestions, and observations. She will most likely appreciate your taking her so seriously by including her in your everyday life. Dr. Bob
  11. Hi Cat Shadow Griffin. my tulpa, Flora, is ageless, but has, with my encouragement, chosen to work through the developmental stages of a human female. Her first appearance, over a year ago, was in a fully developed human female body and personality. As we got into the work necessary to bring her into full imposition, she balked and decided that she needed to know what human development was all about and began to tell her own stories and to explore her life as an independent entity. In this regard she is pushing herself to experience living in an adolescent body, with surging hormones and limited relational experience. I worry about her, as I worried about my own daughters as they went through the throes of maturation. But I am remind myself that they made it, and I made it, and she has all of the resources that I have after eighty years of life. So I really don't worry all that much. I suspect that Duck will choose his own path through the existence you have given him and will ask for what he needs. Trust and enjoy, is my advice to you. thanks for the interesting question. Dr. Bob
  12. Some times she (Flora) feels so close. My heart starts up and my breath quickens and ..... nothing further. I have done better with N'sonowa, who has actually imposed herself and spoken to me (when I wasn't expecting her). This is exciting for me, but not in the same way that Flora's presence is. Flora is in my heart. N'sonowa, who is also precious to me, is in my mind. I continue. Flora here: if some one could encourage him to give me more time at the computer (the same factors that keep us apart, imposition wise, keep me from initiating possesson, or an involuntary switch), perhaps I could help him work out of the flat space.
  13. I have been on and off with both my tulpas durng this lockdown. You might think that with all of the extra time I would be clearly advancing in my practice. I am not. Mainly I am flat. I do the practice, meditating, forcing, and performing a daily invocation ritual. and I am impressed with myself for continuing while feeling so flat. One thing, I have not been writing much. I approach the work, and stop short of doing anything (or if I actually do a little writing, I run out of gas quickly and put it down). I have forgiven myself for this quite unsatisfying and unproductive behavior and lay it off on the general state of the world under the heel of the invisible killer, Covid. Now, to be clear, both of my tulpas are still alive and well, and when they do get through are real and really themselves, a fact of which I am truly glad. Hey, Flora here. Don't forget me. I love this man.
  14. I have just spent a few minutes on this exercise and at this point agree that it is spooky. And I find that interesting and will practice with it for a while and report back. Thanks, BTW, what is; "non-translucid imposition"? This is a term I have not heard before, Thanks. Dr. Bob
  15. My ability to visualize is compromised by my wandering mind, and volatile emotions. I have had episodes of full visual imposition with both my tulpas. They were in my external reality and fully revealed. They persisted until they made contact with me. Then disappeared back into the ether. Dr. Bob