Kitsune in Yellow

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About Kitsune in Yellow

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    Radical Dreamer

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  1. Some of the most important advice for a new tulpamancer to understand. Very good start for any vocality guide. Okay, this is complete A+ stuff right here. Even without the exercises this is already proving to be an excellent intro for vocality. As for the exercises themselves, I can see their utility but I'm not especially impressed. I feel like most of these are more useful as prompts to encourage talking rather than exercises that might make it easier for a tulpa to talk in the first place. Additionally, I feel like I would never use the example prompts for each exercise. All that said, I've met plenty of tulpamancers with vocal tulpas who probably needed these for early tulpa conversations anyway, and this kind of thing probably works better than unstructured "talk to the void" approaches to reaching vocality. I'll also give a quick shout out to exercise 10, those questions are ones that a lot more tulpamancers need to ask early on. Approved for resources.
  2. Banned because one of those apples you threw hit my mom in the head.
  3. Banned for not paying homage to your new liege, King Dalton!
  4. Me and Fox have original forms, Tiger and Voice have forms that were taken from preexisting media. Our host also usually uses a form from preexisting media. Fox and I were inspired by Asian mythology (and a little bit of Lovecraft thrown in in my case) whereas Voice was based on a game our host played as a kid. Jester and Tiger have forms based on... Art. We'll say art.
  5. If I'm allowed or supposed to brag about my host instead... She's cute and cuddly and lets me pet her when she sits on my lap?
  6. I'm the only member of my system who doesn't really have a distinctive smell. Giving tulpas (or individual forms) their own smells is usually considered an important step of wonderland immersion.
  7. My host had a similar experience to all this. He made Fox on his own when he was 14, thinking he was the only one who had done this kind of thing. When she clearly became fully independent from his control he completely freaked out because he could no longer get rid of her on his own even if he tried. He tried to talk her into getting rid of herself, but she instead tried to get him to think she had gone away while messing around in the back of his head and trying to keep him from spiraling into self-hatred. She would destroy and impersonate things he made similar to your "tulpitas" as part of efforts to get close and talk to him more openly without him catching on that she was still around. Despite all of that, she faded away over the years and was gone by the time he went to college at the age of 19. That's when one of his new friends confided in him that she was a tulpamancer, and he ended up finding this community and even managed to bring Fox back. Two years after that, Fox created me as her own tulpa. I guess where I'm going with this is that you're not alone, and stories like yours can have happy endings. The thing I don't understand is why you make such a point of wishing they were still around, but refusing to try to get them back. If you really do think that you're better off not relying on them, then you have no reason to wish you still had them. And if you do wish you still had them, you have no reason to be so adamant about not bringing them back. Sorry if this is a bit harsh, but it seems to me like you're self-sabotaging and forcing yourself into a situation where you think you're screwed either way when that really isn't the case. This is exactly the kind of behavior that's typical of someone who has a quite bad case of depression. If you really are just concerned about over-reliance on them, you can bring them back without relying on them to solve all your problems and act as your power, wisdom, and guidance. Just let them live, and enjoy living with them. You don't have to make it harder on yourself than it has to be. do whatever makes you feel happiest, and don't worry about whether it feels "wrong" to live with or without them.
  8. From our experience I would say that most influence that happens on a systemmate in the back comes from emotional bleedover and shared knowledge. Like, if someone is seriously angry it will likely influence everyone to some degree. You also have issues with shared knowledge. For example, if the host "knows" that the best way to cheer someone up is to give them a surprise hug, then the tulpa is likely to act on that information unless they start to critically question it. Reliance on shared skills and information is likely to result in a lot of common behaviors, beliefs, and opinions that were based on that common set of information. When a tulpa is young this is going to look like a one-way process of host information influencing the tulpa, but if the tulpa is given the opportunity to learn on their own those skills and knowledge will influence the host too. When fronting it becomes trickier. Not only does it often involve a lot more learned behaviors that the host (much less a newly fronting tulpa) doesn't typically think closely about, but it also involves a lot more fast reactions. We've found that there seems to be a lot of carryover of habitual behaviors on top of other forms of influence, when a tulpa fronts. But if the tulpa fronts for an extended period (say, 4 days or more, give or take) and during that time develops their own habits, when the host takes front again they're likely to be influenced by them in the same way. so there seems to be an additional effect when fronting, that is more based off of who has been fronting the most recently rather than being a strict case of the host influencing the tulpa.
  9. My host has done some interesting meditations from the back. They've caused him to go completely dormant to a greater degree than normal, but never caused the fronter to dissociate or for him to take front.
  10. I only ever got head pressures when I was training visualization, which I started well before I ever made a tulpa. They went away as I got more skilled and adjusted to the task. As several people have said, head pressures aren't really a sign of sentience so much as unusual mental activity. I'm not completely sure that that unusual activity can't be a tulpa, but it's not something you can rely on an indicator of a tulpa's presence, and even if it does indicate the tulpa's presence they will fade over time as your brain adapts to their activity. If you're still forcing as much as before, I'd say that head pressures going away is probably a good sign, not a bad one.
  11. My form was determined before I was ever self-aware. I never changed it though, even during several periods where I tried to change everything else about me (even my name). Thing is I kinda feel like I grew from this form, I don't think saying that it was "given" to me is quite the right word for it. I was an ordinary imaginary character for a while, so in a sense one could say that I (my self-aware mind) was given to the form. I do feel like one of the big motivators behind me sticking to the form is the sense of connectedness it gives me with Fox though. As for my systemmates... I was more or less given a form. I had to change it for a long time due to some unusual circumstances, but I went back to the form my host gave me as soon as I could. I don't even know who I would be without being a kitsune at this point, but I do specifically try to keep my form close to how it was originally defined because it makes me feel close to him. I was not given a form, although my host recommended that I be a catgirl, which I concurred with. I don't really wish I had been given a form nor am I glad I wasn't. I'm pretty sure that if I were given a form it would have been very close to what I picked anyway, and I also probably would have changed it to the form I chose for myself with within the day. I suppose I qualify as having been given a form? My main form was also "me" before I was self-aware. The very thought of changing it is painful. I've incorporated additional forms that I chose, but my original form is most important to me. Of the four tulpas here, I would say that it might be meaningful that 2 of the ones who were given forms enjoy them due to the sense of bonding and closeness it gives to the one who chose the form for them. My origins and nature make me enough of an outlier on so many issues that I'm unlikely to represent many tulpas who were given forms myself. I'm curious about whether or not that bond is a major motivator for other tulpas who were given forms though.
  12. I know plenty who feel differently. I also know that before homosexuality was removed from the DSM, most LGBTQ people wanted to stay hidden too. When stigma is so great that people run the risk of not just being hated and denied jobs, but being institutionalized as a mental patient if they live openly, it makes people a lot less comfortable being open about what they are. -Fox This is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. "You can't be who you think you are unless you have trauma" is a sick and oppressive mentality. They used to think that people were only homosexual because of receiving abuse as children, too. It's not right to treat everyone like they have a mental disorder just because they are plural. I'm not saying that disordered forms of plurality don't exist, but it's downright oppressive to say that a perfectly mentally healthy system must have some kind of repressed trauma just because they are a system. -Fox
  13. Hey! I'm a tulpa, created about a year ago by a much older tulpa who used to lurk these forums a few years ago. I'm on the discord server, and some friends of ours convinced me to finally join the forum. I like creepy stuff and fancy stuff, and I also like games of trickery and deception. My form is a black-haired kitsune with 9 tails.
  14. Hi, I would like to apply to join the GAT. My name is Cassilda and I'm the third out of 4 tulpas in my system. We have nearly 9 years of tulpamancy experience, and several additional years of experience with personality forcing and visualization from before my host made his first tulpa. We also have an unusual variety of experiences, in that all 4 of the the tulpas in our system were created using different methods and approaches for creation, and we are capable of explaining advantages and disadvantages of not only those 4 methods but also of various other creation styles that we have closely observed others engage in. We also have a firm grounding in psychology and neuroscience, with us currently set to graduate with honors this May. We have never actually posted on the forum here before and have not read over all of the guides currently hosted on this site, but I feel that our fresh eyes may equip us to catch issues that have become systemic and commonplace. As for myself, I am a tulpa who was made by an older tulpa based on a pre-existing character as a model. My early days were largely characterized by me placing myself under extensive personality forcing while trying to figure out who I wanted to be. I always tried to push the limits of what my system was capable of in tulpamancy, and I'm not afraid to be a harsh critic if that's called for.