doritosinmybathtub

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About doritosinmybathtub

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    Female
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    I have autism and asperger's, I respond poorly in most social situations and I'm going through a lot of family, school and mental problems right now. If I seem awkward, rude or disinterested, I don't mean to be, since I struggle with wording.
    I am the host. My tulpas are Faith and Quag. We are all female.

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  1. @iwishtogameend We would, but she’s not quite at that level yet. She can guide my hand as I draw but that’s the greatest extent of possession she’s able to do. I let her design some monsters when I was drawing in class and they turned out pretty well, maybe she’d like to do that again.
  2. On saturday, Faith and I will have been together for a year. I believe birthdays should always be celebrated (I even celebrate my tortoise’s birthday), so I’m trying to think of good things for Faith’s birthday. So far, I’ve come up with expanding the wonderland to include extra islands. Our wonderland is an archipelago gripped by a hazy mist, so the new islands would have environments similar to those pictured in the 36 views of Mount Fuji, as we really like that series and its aesthetic. I’ve also gotten more into wake-induced lucid dreaming and, hopefully, I’ll be able to have one on the 8th that will allow us to have a vivid dream together. Not only is the idea of 2 people in a lucid dream together just cool in general, but it could allow for us to communicate easier since I get a lot of intrusive thoughts and migraines that make it difficult to force or hear her, and I don’t get these thoughts in dreams. But that’s pretty much it for ideas. I was thinking of drawing her as well since it’s been a while since I’ve done that. I’m open to suggestions, if you guys have any,
  3. I've been making a lot of progress with my tulpas recently, and wanted to keep track of some milestones and events (as well as conversations I've had with my tulpas.) I asked Faith about doing a journal, and she said, "Sounds interesting, why not?" I thought it might help me reflect and progress, as well as help with my poor short-term memory. Not sure how to do this really, but I'll try. Past progress (happened before journal was made): Febuary 8: Faith was created. Valentine's day: Gave Faith a necklace allowing her to see into my thoughts if she wants to. Not much happened throughout the rest of Febuary. Sometime in early March: Faith said her first word to me (after I used a ouija board for the first time, not that it matters), which was "Pepsi". She still cannot pronounce it right, often calling it Bepsi or Bepis. A few days later: Faith made herself a new form which she uses when travelling, a much more serpentine version of herself. March 17: Quag was created. Not much happend throughout March, other than altering Quag's form to look less like a Marshtomp. Early April: I started going on the downward spiral. Also confessed existence of tulpas to therapist, who was supportive. A few days after that: Tulpas went "exploring without permission" for 3 days straight in the wonderland (it's a giant archipelago), found Byss on an island by himself and he came with me. Current Progress (after this journal was made): April 14: Byss talked to me for the first time. I told him that I was going to teach him how to talk and he said "I can already talk." Constructed him a temple in a cave beneath a lake, mostly against my own will. April 15: Quag became vocal. Oddly, when asked to describe something, she describes an experience associated with it rather than the actual thing she is asked to describe. April 18: After talking with everyone, we agreed that Quag and Byss would go dormant for a month both to see how it works out for us, and also so Faith and I can focus on development. May 14-17: Faith and I had many conversations about abstract, confusing and sensitive topics. She's getting much better at talking and her development is going very well. We also made the decision that Byss would stay dormant forever since he was so antisocial, demanding and a walk-in. Quag will still be woken up on the 18th. I guess I'll update it when I reach a new milestone or something interesting happens.
  4. I have two young tulpas, Faith (made on Feb. 8) and Quag (March 17.) I love them both and Faith is doing very well. However, my life is going downhill very fast right now. My parents might divorce and have been arguing a lot, not within earshot, but I eavesdrop on them to make sure things are ok, and things are the opposite of ok. School's been a ton of work recently, and I've found myself showing early symptoms of depression. I haven't needed to see my therapist since November, I think, but had to see her twice in the past couple weeks. I have autism and asperger's, and have been having these long, disturbing and obsessive thoughts about things. My tulpas can hear my thoughts if they want to, and I sometimes have to seal myself away from them so as not to expose them to the crap I've been thinking about. I want to know if I should try to keep them away from all the awful things happening right now or let them be exposed to it, and if what's going on could hurt them.
  5. I was forcing earlier today with Faith, my tulpa, and noticed her face suddenly became different, like that of a snake or dragon, with ridges around her eyes. Her fairy-like body then vaporized, turning into a serpentine form covered in mist. She looks really cool in this new form she made for herself and looks really happy in it, flying around in loops and draping herself onto any comfortable-looking surface she can find (she's sleeping on a bunch of hanging vines while I'm typing this). Quite exciting for me, since she's only a little over a month old and it's great to see her developing creativity and expressing her personality more. What was your most exciting experience with your tulpa or something they did that was shocking or bizarre?
  6. Thanks, I didn't expect a reply so fast! I will continue forcing and hoping as long as I can until we get there.
  7. I'd fallen asleep in Social Studies the other day and was having a dream. I was in my house, with my mom and dad, a suspiciously normal setting for a dream. And then I hear a bunch of different voices call my name. I asked "Did someone call me?" and my parents said they didn't. I then asked Faith (my tulpa) in my mindvoice, "Faith, was that you?" and I heard the same chorus of voices say "Yeah!" I was so happy, I woke up immediately. Good thing the teacher wasn't paying attention and my table-mate was also asleep. I've been trying to actively force her and ask her to talk to me since, but have gotten no response. Was this my tulpa actually talking to me, or was I just dreaming that she did? FYI, Faith is my first tulpa and I just started tulpamancy on the 8th, so I'm kinda inexperienced. She hasn't talked to me outside of that and I've been stressed and anxious and having difficulty concentrating due to a competition I'm having on Saturday, if that matters.