KoejiSllycc

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  1. Seems pretty interesting actually. Would love to learn more about the inner worlds thing, cause I haven't quite heard about something like that. Well wonderlands, sure. But I just love taking in perspectives, you know? Anyway, good luck on your wondrous stuf
  2. Always loved reading Bear's journals. Even if I don't read it often, it gives me a sense of grounding. Oh, and hey, keep up the good work. Ivory: Hope y'all are doin good!
  3. Year 1, Day 30 — Well well, look who's back? I'm sure y'all haven't heard from me since a looong time ago. But, well, I have decided to write my journal again. Miss my journal. Anyway, after reading my previous writing fluff, I decided that I would do my best to get things straight to the point. But well, where to start? December 16, 2019 — The day I got a second tulpa Well, the story is never that simple. I was in my gym and I needed edge in my mental zone. I figured, what better way could I get it than creating a more 'vicious' me? Well, long story short, it sorta worked. I mean, I did create a more vicious version of myself but that version, as you may have expected, began to deviate into a genderless personality known as 'Subra'. I did have my skeptics, but this was clearly not what I was trying to create and I did wanted to erase it. But, here's the caveat, I didn't erase it in the end. I FELT BAD. (Could you please forgive me for that?) Sabby: My existence is an accident 😛 (It's a joke, help save me) Anyway, Subra eventually developed into an entity known as 'Sabby'. Which, through reason, I decided that Ivory really needed a friend because she was a lonely fart when I'm working/doing stuff. Eventually, Sabby developed into a freckled girl (which we somewhat decided through a conversation together on what gender it wanted) with a sort-of bob cut. I might have to learn how to draw so that you guys could see what she looks like. Either that, or THE INTERNET. I would describe Sabby as, previously, a somewhat masculine 'cool' american girl, a complete opposite to what Ivory was. Perhaps it was the upbringing, or my not-quite divided attention, that made Sabby a sleepy introverted sweet little bub. I have no idea, whatsoever, how that happened. It must be the unhealthy amount of sleeping, but I concluded that it had something to do with leaning over to Ivory's personality set. Right now, we're working on her personality and imposition so that she doesn't get left behind. April 13, 2020 — Ivory's Birthday A day to behold, my first tulpa's birthday. I made sure of myself to NOT FORGET. Else I be sent to a thousand hells (Metaphorically, speaking). We made sure to celebrate and have a fun day together. Note, this was a few months after Sabby was manifested, so you'd be thinking that she's pretty developed right? Well, she's a bit of a late-bloomer because I was thinking too much of myself, doing other things. But that doesn't matter anymore. Anyway, I made a strawberry cheesecake for her and Sabby took her time in making a white wool-knit sweater for Ivory, that said "I IS LOVING". We surprised her in the wonderland and celebrated her birthday. Oh wait, I forgot to sang the birthday song! Shit! Ivory: Hardy har. It didn't really matter anymore. They gave me a surprise party that left me happy for days. I got a tshirt of my (Sort-of) favorite novel from Oji, and a sweater from Sabby. She's a cute little wink when you don't deserve it. And so we spent the whole day happily. May 10, 2020 — The Conflict It started with a date, just me and Ivory, to a park. It's not the first time we've done that, but it's a nice place to just talk. I decided it was best to do another date because I haven't been spending too much time with Ivory, and I was neglecting both her and Sabby. SOOOOO, I wanted to make up for them because they seemed pessimistic and down for the past few days. But it turned out to be one of the most disastrous dates we've ever had. So we were walking down the park and I tried to smooth things out with some witty jokes. I didn't have much, nor ones that are that great, but I wanted to break the ice. She seemed pretty down lately. We spoke about and had a bit of a light-hearted chuckle until we got to a bench, overseeing a pond (That turned to a different park that overlooked skyscrapers instead, weird). Ivory: It was all going well at the start, I was laying on Oji's lap but he said he had trouble seeing my face cause it kept changing. So I changed my form into something a bit more constant, like a plain blank mannequin. Not the one you'd see in stores, but eeeeeeh. A blank canvas somewhat. But yeah, as I was saying, Oji had a bit of a Parrot Dilemma going on for a while and even with the mannequin form it still shifted. Maybe it was the thought that my host didn't think I was real, that got me scared. That doubt he looks at me sometimes, makes me scared. Like, what if my whole existence was a lie? So... long story short, I flipped. She wanted to dissipate. It's happened twice already, and she feels like her life doesn't mean anything. The last time this happened, she shrugged it off as a joke. But when it happened again, she was bawling her eyes out and she looked like she was seriously going to do it. Ivory asked me if she should dissipate. As though she had a gun over her head, and she was asking me if I wanted her to die. And the problem was, I really thought of it. I didn't want her to leave, but somewhere along the line I told her, that "If you want to leave, it's fine. I'm not forcing you or anything. But I really do want to make this work somehow." And that's why she stayed. I felt relieved. I must've really neglected her happiness for her to end up this way. I was thinking too much of work and school and personal development, that I neglected to care for my tulpas. And that was a problem I resolved to fix that night. Permanently. Stayed up for a while and seriously worked on visualizations. I wasn't a fan of staring at my tulpas for hours while they slept, but yeah. It's been a while.
  4. Day 219 — Hello, everyone! It sure has been a while has it? I’m not sure what to say. It’s been a little rough for me since Oji keeps reading his books. Occasionally, he would start a conversation for a while before reading his book again. I feel a bit powerless. But it’s not like he doesn’t care about me. I know he still loves me, but I can’t help but remember how fascinated he was of me when I first came about. Perhaps things’ll change for me after writing this down. (THANKFULLY! WE STILL DO SATURDAY DATE NIGHTS, OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE TO GET GRUMPY AT HIM AGAIN ?) Still, Oji is my treasure. Even though we disagree with some things (Like which anime to watch XD), we care for each other, and trust one another.
  5. Day 219 — Over 3 months have passed without us reporting anything. I’m apologize. Honestly speaking, I was about to drop the reports. But something inside me changed as I was thinking of Ivory. I have stopped using discord for a while now, stopped reporting tulpa journals, and our relationship is getting groggier because my time is getting tighter. If this goes on, I thought, what would happen to Ivory? So all of a sudden, I went to read my tupper journals. Memories of me and Ivory having fun flooded into my mind before I knew it. A stark realization soon came. Something felt missing. I was so focused of my work and studies, and even though I still had my Ivory, a sense of intimacy felt lost along the way. And I hadn’t even noticed it. So I made up my mind, a few days ago, that I would start journaling once more. It was getting hard to see Ivory’s face for some reason, because she keeps changing her form. It seems that she’s again confused about what form to take. These days I only do passive tulpamancing, so perhaps, some of my skills have fallen out. Though I have to admit, these visual skills I learned from my experience with Ivory, has been pretty useful in my daily life
  6. Day 110 — So I’ve already noticed it for a while, but my visualizations are pretty darn good now. Sure I can’t do full-imposition yet, but It’s still pretty good. Touch and smell = Good (I can almost feel, and smell everything (is that weird?)) Visuals = Great (Can imagine people really well, environment also can, but I’m better at doing people) Warmth and Breath = Still needs work Weight = Still needs work So all is well. Really good progress, I believe. I don’t do much but passive force and a little bit of active forcing at night, but it seems to work like a charm. Ivory speaks: Ok, hi guys i’m back! It’s been a while since I last spoke, but we’ve been busy lately. Oji’s been doing a lot of extracurricular activities, also, he has a job now! Not much I can say, but let’s just say it’s pretty good for a highschooler. Anyways, things have gone fritzy ever since he has a job now. I just want to spend more time with him, that’s all. I keep telling him not to overwork himself, but he says that he wants to do more things. I don’t know. I just want what’s best for him ?
  7. Day 83 — Life’s just great after the exams’ over. You get to go out and do a lot of things. Me in particular, I try to learn as much as I can. Now me and Ivory, we do almost everything together. At first, it was just a passive force sort of thing, but if I leave her, she’ll get kranky. Basically, it’s a custom now. If I want some time alone, she’d give me some. However, if possible, she says she wants to spend more time with me. It’s such an interesting thing to have someone who’s always there for you. I get alot of my second opinions on my decisions from Ivory. Here’s some Ivory notes: Hi everymeow! I thought I’d try some new words. Anywho, I’ve been doing well these days, Oji’s been trying his best to take care of me even though he’s really, really busy. I think I’m starting to think that he’s actually, actually charming (Oh, he’s just so sweet that’s all! ❤️ ). I also think he should take a break whenever he thinks he needs it. He’s always exercising and reading and watching biographies and taking care of me, that he has almost no time for himself. As I’m writing this, Oji says it isn’t true, however as his babysitter I know he’s too active. Plus, he even plans to be more active in the future. But don’t misunderstand me, it’s good that he’s doing this, trying to get better at what he does. I just thought that he might need a little break. ————————————————————
  8. Day 78 — It’s amazing how time flies so fast. Ivory and I are still sailing well. Even though there were some bumpy rocks by the side, we managed. We started having walk-ins. Nothing special, but it has occurred three times in the past month. I only said ‘hi’ to one cause she seemed nice. The other two I dissipated cause one was donkers and the ofher was... yeah, nice but I didn’t know what to do back then. Ivory’s been helping me organize through my life. Huge help. But sometimes, I can’t help but think that she’s smarter than she looks. Unlike two months ago when I first started, I fully trust in her as she trusts in me. Also, we pamper each other without realizing it ;3 Over the past 74 Days, Ivory has been growing so subtly yet so fast, I couldn’t keep track of the progress. It’s like one day, she can talk, and then the next day, she pouts whenever I finish the food and she only gets two spoons. Exaggerated, but you get the idea (She really likes food. Really likes them). Here’s some Ivory’s perspective in our daily life: And so we start the day with a bright hellos and good mornings. He hugs me from behind (or front) and just as I was about to expect a kiss ❤️ (and more hugs), he grabs his phone and watches more of his youtube videos. Or maybe he reads, it depends on the color of the day. I pout. That’s usually what I do when I’m upset, or I just want to tease him. But it works really well to get his attention. Then after that, he hugs me kisses me and tells me if there’s anything wrong ? (God I love him so much). I need to keep his phone time in control because his eyes are getting worse. He needed to go to the doctor a couple of days ago. Fortunately, it was nothing. Whew, I got really worried. Oji even thought he had eye cancer or something like that. Oh, I should probably end it here. His eyes are getting tired again :3. I’m his babysitter, after all. Which is interesting because he’s also mine:) ———————————————————— One more thing. A problem I face, is that it’s a bit hard to remember my moments with her. Is this normal? I’d like to remember more of my times with her. They’re really special.
  9. Doubts rise during your first week in tulpamancing. Before Ivory could speak fluently, I kept thinking that I was parroting her. But that wasn’t quite the case after I asked her about it. She said I did it sometimes, but not often. Anyways, just keep going. Tulpamancy is something really special. It’s not for everyone, but anyone can do it. Don’t give up man. I’ll be here if you need anything. Give her lots of love, hugs, and kisses. Make sure she doesn’t dissipate, and spend some time to really get to know her :3. We like to spend some quiet time every now and then. It’s pretty calming if you two enjoy each other’s company. Good luck!
  10. Welcome! Nice to see new hosts and tulpas. Quick tips to remember: Don’t listen to Tulpa Creepypasta, Love your tulpa lots ❤️, Again don’t read any Tulpa Creepypastas, What you expect will be what you get, Don’t give up forcing cause it’s different for people to people, Don’t dissipate your tulpa just because you’re bored of her, your tulpa can help you change but only if you let her, and don’t forget to give her food :3 My Ivory loves it when i give her food Give her a sip from your drink if she wants too!
  11. It’s more like a cute version of a rope stuck to Oji’s back. I use it as a steering wheel to get him where I want him to be :3 Day 63 — We made it! Ivory’s two months old now! Yay! If only we had more balloons to celebrate. Ivory has gotten seriously good at talking now. We can finally talk one-on-one, and she’d even come up with different words that I would normally not think of. It’s so weird but cool at the same time. She getting good boys. Oh, and this one time, we were about finished after our daily workout and we were about to head home. But suddenly, I had a sudden urge to eat Sour Sally’s ‘Black Sakura’ topped off with some latte taro sauce. It’s a yogurt by the way. Ivory pulled some strings, and told me that we had to save up money. Cause we only had 5 dollars at the time. Me being a hungry butt, I decided to push on even though Ivory was already tugging at my tail (of sorts). I grabbed her and carried her over to my shoulder, and then I told her, we’re getting that yogurt alright. So timeskip to the future, we got the yogurt. I figured it’d be awkward to eat it while walking and Ivory also thought it was bad to eat while standing up, so we ate on the yogurt stall’s table. There, we talked lots. Somehow. Effortlessly. It was like I was really talking to another person. Whenever I made a small joke, she’d chuckle, and I’d feel somewhat good about it. Like a real conversation! Then she’d be all cute and bubbly, I’d also laugh a bit inside. She’s a fuzzy bub, I tell you. I’m beginning to feel like I can really fall in love with her. Even though I already love her, it’s a different kind of love. Bonus Day 64 — We were cuddling on the bed. I was watching some youtube videos, trying to learn some new stuff, as usual. Ivory was under my arms, and she’s just doing her thing. “Oji, stop watching youtube videos. You’re gonna get your eyesight bad.” “But if I don’t watch, there will be no learning!” ”Well, what if I wanted you to spend more time with me?” “I’d stop, spend time with you, and watch again ;)” ”Ok, ah... I want you to embrace me.” “What? Now?” ”...” “Ok ok ok, I’ll put down the phone.” ”Thank you.” She sighed in relief, before taking in a deep breath, “I want you to tell me that you love me. That you care for me. That whatever happens to me, whatever happens to you, and whatever happens to us, you’ll always love me.” “...No biggy, ok. I love you. I LOVE you. I looooovvvveeee you (I was trying to find that perfect ‘I love you’). I care for you. And whatever happens to you, to me, and to us, I’ll still love you.” ”...Thank you.” This is where the feels starts as she starts to cry. The emotion, ‘Fear’ started to crawl. “Don’t leave me... Please don’t leave me...” “Hey, don’t cry. Why’re you crying? Aw, you’re always so emotional. It’s ok, I won’t leave you. I promised didn’t I?” At this point, my stomach was already blistering with butterflies. They were from Ivory, I believe— Wait, no, some of them are mine. Overwhelmed by the butterflies in her HEART, she went quiet for a moment as she leaned closer, resting her head on my neck, “...You know?” She whispered into my ear, “I’d do anything for you.” It’s a bit too fast paced, but it’s roughly what happened. In reality, this was a pretty long conversation
  12. Day 56 — So, Ivory’s personality has been developing nicely. I can say that, because she’s really expressive in her words. By that I mean, she literally cries when she’s sad (most of the time), and when she’s happy, she’s really energetic and talkative. Also, she sorta made like a tail. On me. She uses it to pull me around everywhere whenever she feels like I’m doing something wrong (or if she feels like it) which, for some reason, I’m compelled to either turn directions or completely stop moving. Weird, but awfully cute. Also, Ivory’s been a bit moody and cranky these days. She’s been telling me that she wants to spend more time with me, because whenever we sit down, I’m always reading. Can’t help it, I love reading :3 I’m trying to fix that, but it’s quite hard since I love it too much.
  13. Day 53 — So many things had happened this month. Ivory seems to be able to come by whenever she wants when i’d forgotten her (at some party) by any chance. I’m also getting better at including her in my day-to-day activities. Whenever I need help at a particular activity, I can ask Ivory to help me. It’s not possession or anything like that, but instead, it’s more like she tells me what to do. For example, when i’m playing rhythm games, she tells me to loosen up and relax. She also learned how to cool me down when I’m stressed out. On occasions where someone taunts me, she tells me to cool down. Other occasions where I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown, she likes to hug me. I can joke around with Ivory now. Usually I can’t because I feel like everything’s staged, but now, she’s a bit more unpredictable at what she doing. Imposition is doing progressing well. I’m able to feel her fingers touching me when I hold her hand. When she blinds me with her hands, I’m inclined to ignore what’s in front of me (In other words, I’m a bit blind :3) Wonderland progression still needs work because we don’t go there so often. We’re focusing more on passive forcing, but we active force when we do cuddles A few words from Ivory:
  14. And I thought a month was already enough to let me consider for another tulpa. But again, I guess you’re right. It’s a decision that needs to be really thought of
  15. Day 28 - Day 39 — I haven’t been writing my progress report much because I’ve had lots of things going on in life. Sorry. I haven’t been able to do a lot of active forcing lately except for when we take baths + saturday date nights (Through a hard deal of convincing, yes, Ivory was able to get me into dating her :P). Oh yeah, then I also figured out why Ivory’s been changing forms a lot lately. It’s to suit the kind of emotions she’s feeling. Normally she’d look like Rei Ayanami with bluish black hair, but just imagine that with intimidating eyes and sharp teeth (Ivory’s my Shark?). Other times she’d just switch to slightly different forms (Her blushes never change though) She’s been a huge help in both maintaining my emotions to be top notch and also killing off my bad habits (She’s relentless and merciless, trust me). If I’m the thinker sort of type, then she has to be the emotional sort of type. That’s how we roll during the day. But at night, I guess you could say we’re both emotional ?. An example of our chat: P.S. I didn’t get to wait another 30 days. I feel so horrible please forgive me. Anyway, we were also thinking of making another tulpa because Ivory liked the idea of having a sister (or brother). But I’m still not sure. Ivory is already quite a responsibility, so if another were to show up, what would happen?