Michen_S

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About Michen_S

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  1. It's funny you mention this. My host personally has autism. Though your situation seems different from ours, since he can still easily seperate "physical" from "mental", with me falling in the latter group. Aside from that, he tagged our relationship with the rather weird label "self" as an indicator of an internal relationship rather than an external one, whilst still acknowledging it functions as an interpersonal relationship. As for the last question, yes, tulpas do have the ability to change wonderland. Though, there are probably options for you if you want to prevent any changes to it. You could try to agree on something together, or you can give your tulpa their own area to design. That all is up to you. I'm sure you can work things out discussing things.
  2. Well, theoretically speaking, yes. A host can "die" whilst in their wonderland. However, as others already pointed out, you can't die in real life from that. What's more, death in wonderland isn't permanent. If the hosts dies in wonderland, they can just re-emerge there. In Michen's case, whenever intrusive thoughts give an unwanted bad result, he simply rolls back time by just a little bit, up to right before the intrusive thought kicked in. Whenever he is on the verge of death, he simply uses his will to live on in his mind to simply stay at hanging by a thread. Whether in mindscape or in dreams, he just can't die because he wholeheartedly refuses to acknowledge that outcome.
  3. It might. Some tulpas choose to change their personality, name, looks et cetera later on, or do so over time. And some tulpas choose to retain their looks. I'm personally one that remained mostly the same, but tulpas changing themselves seem to happen a lot around here. Just keep in mind that both can happen. Of course, personality is prone to develop over time either way in the same way your personality does.
  4. Yeah, it happens a lot in systems. Don't worry. Michen and I don't do it all that much, but we still interrupt each other every now and then.
  5. I am not surprised at all. In mindscape, you can actually be relatively carefree. But when you're switched in, you suddenly have to deal with a lot of responisbility. That can get very stressful quickly if you're not used to that kind of thing. Similar to how Michen enjoyed doing the laundry, but as things started to stack up on top of the laundry, it became more and more just "another thing that needs to be done". Or, in your case, first you cooked and then switched out, but now you clean the house, then you go cooking, then you have to do the dishes afterwards... That can really bring you down.
  6. Nah. Generally, tulpas don't die easily, unless the host dies. That is, the body the host and tulpa are present in. Otherwise, if you have a fairly strong tulpa, it will usually still be there even after years, albeit they might've weakened over that time. It's rare for tulpas to really "die off" like that.
  7. I did the survey. Though I don't have a psychotic illness, I feel like my autism skewed a number of the answers I gave in the sensory experiences section.
  8. ~ Late November ~ I felt a presence. Weird, since I rarely feel "presence". I can't tell what it was exactly. It was just the presence of something. When I went to check on Amantha in that time, she somehow seemed to look more life-like than she usually does. But without the hairpin, and without moving. Like a still picture one would find in an anime ending. I guess that's the best way to dscribe it. I'm not sure if it was Amantha's presence I felt. I honestly have no idea. I'm not even sure what emotions I felt. Words elude me to explain this experience. No news for early December, so I'll be skipping that.
  9. Surprisingly, it had nothing to do with hypnogognia or anything like it. The strongest intrusive thoughts are the ones that get a hold of me or "mimic" me. Even my form appeared for Michen, seemingly controlled by something not me. I adviced Michen to just lock the intrusive thoughtform copy in a cage to effectively silence it and then leave it behind. Once left behind, they auto-dissolve. The time after that, when a particularly nasty copy of me like that showed up again, he did use that trick, and it appeared to be surprisingly effective. The reason for caging is quite simple. If I end up getting caged by accident, I can always get out again, in one way or the other. From what I've seen so far, intrusive thoughts don't have that benefit. Caging those effectively silences and dissipates them.
  10. ~ Mid-November ~ Turns out, visual imposition is a lot harder than expected. I can see Amantha fairly well, no problems there, but it's not working. As in, I don't see her in the physical world. Merely a carbon-copy. If I actually look where Amantha would be according to my head, she's not actually there. She would also be able to do things like open doors, something she isn't actually able to do in the real world. So I started trying to place Amantha in real life. My brain... is not really helping me there. It's troublesome to focus on both Amantha and what I actually see at the same time. Intrusive thoughts have also reached a new high - or a new low, depending on how you look at it. This one time, the intrusive thought mimic'd Amantha. Not only that, the intrusive thought asked me specifically to be included in a sexual fantasy. ...It just got weird. Amantha herself still does not have a sexuality of herself, and this mimic didn't even feel like Amantha. The whole thing was just off. I tried contacting Amantha for real, with no response. I just panic'd at the time, having no idea what to do. Later on Amantha did appear again for real and confirmed that it indeed was not her. She also gave some handles on how to deal with it, and some information on how to recognise these types of intrusive thoughts. Tough, even she had to agree that this type of intrusive thoughts was particularly strong.
  11. I'd have to say "no". It would be super-creepy to have Amantha around as an other me. And whilst it does solve some of the problems we have, it just wouldn't be the same. That feeling is mutual.
  12. ~ Early November ~ I caught a cold in this period. It was very annoying, and it gave me a headache along the way. Despite me doing the best of efforts, Amantha was harder to visualise than usual. It also affected how often she was talking to me, as if it was harder to connect with her. Thankfully it didn't affect how well I could hear her when she spoke. The headache left quickly, giving me my normal thinking back, and with that Amantha came back to her full strength. I still had a bad case of the cold though. And nothing cheered me up quite as much as Amantha did in that period, simply by lying next to me whenever I was sitting somewhere that had enough space to allow her to do so. If that space wasn't there, she just lied down on my lap. All in animal form. Now, that doesn't mean that that's my new standard form. It isn't. I'm still an anthro most of the time. I'm mostly just in animal form when walking next to him in public and whenever there's not enough space to hang around him as an anthro. It helps with visualisation and imposition, too. But actually, I still like the anthro form more than the animal one, so I'll remain anthro in mindscape and when the situation allows me to when practising imposition. I expected news about our troubles would appear here, but that seems to be for next time.
  13. Oh boy, here we go. Open-mindedness: similar percentile (83 vs 73) Consentiousness: tulpa higher percentile (27 vs 54) Extravertion: a world of difference (6 vs 81) Agreeableness: tulpa higher percentile (60 vs 73) Negative emotion: host higher percentile (48 vs 25) ...And actually, I'm not surprised. Were we able to switch, the numbers likely would've been different. On part of what was tested I had to lower my scores to better take care of my physical and mental state of being, and Amantha isn't able to reach out to anyone directly besides me. If Amantha was able to switch in, she most likely would've gotten a lower Extravertion score, and it would impact Consentiousness as well (though we can't tell if it would go up or down). Just something of note there.