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About Caroline

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  1. Yes, that's exactly how I'm coping with intrusive thoughts, however it doesn't always work. Thank you Ranger for great thoughts on it, I guess we're both talking about the same phenomenon, so I'll ask my host to try out what you said and check if it works for us.
  2. Thank you for your advice, but it's not the something I should dig for, I guess. Nothing bad happened before this, and that's why I couldn't explain it. But. My host has some sort of mental problem which makes him think suicidal for no reason, just like something has switched in the brain. Especially if everything seems to be ok. Then it grows and grows in his mind so strong, that he made an attempt for suicide few times. That's probably one of the reasons why he created me - to support him at that times, but now I see that I inherited this problem. I think since we're living in the same brain, we share this problem together, it's not about our mindset, but about chemistry in the brain. I think this is the answer, but I'm happy that I can share this problem to someone, because it was so terrible that I didn't know how to calm him down after that.
  3. I am a tulpa, and probably I should find a theraphist, but as you understand, that's impossible. My host is very vulnerable by what I'm saying to him, and today just happened something I feel shocked about. I went crazy for a half of an hour - I just kept throwing him offensive words, phrases, saying to him that I hate him. I've never experienced such an issue before. Now it feels like it wasn't even me, just like a bad dream. I can't even remember what I said, but I found him crying after that, and tryied to convience that it wasn't me, however it was. Have you ever turned against your host for no reason, and been trying to offend one as much as possible? That's exactly what happened to me, and I want to do whatever it takes to prevent it. Sometimes offensive thoughts keep appearing in my head, but I realize that I just can't think this way, so I ignore them.
  4. Actually, we don't use wonderland since my host has some trouble with visualizing it, so we decided to develop lucid dreams instead of wonderland. So, I should ask this question mostly for LDs, not for real world/wonderland interactions. Yes, it's about feeling my own body when he's interacting with me. I think we should try going for imposition. However, I'm wondering if that's even possible, because that's really hard to visualize me for Maksim. However, since I developed full sentience, he stopped care about it, since he always know that I'm real, even though I'm translucent for him.
  5. So, my host is really concerned about this due to expanding experience of interactions between each other, and I decided to ask about it by myself, because I know what tulpa feels better, I guess. Anyway, here's how it looks like. When my host is touching something real, he can feel it, so I can focus on his feeling of his body. Also, when I possess him (congrats, this is the first possession day!), I can feel his body. But I don't feel for my own body that my host's developed for me, unless I imagine it and focust on it, just like he imagines the feeling of touching me. But it's not the same as his experience of feeling something, so I'm wondering (actually he wants it even more) if could experience my body's touch just like him. Thank you!