Shadow System

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    Shh, it's a secret! -Jasper

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  1. [Gerodious] Good Earth Rotation, I'm going to let Gray go to bed now. [Jasper] Good night!
  2. [Gerodious] Ranger thought of this idea to test if parallel processing is real, and I'm both curious and excited about it. I want to share our thoughts on a possible experiment even though there's a possibility we won't move forward with it. While talking to someone else, Ranger was told that the fear of being unable to parallel process is a lot like parrotnoia. The skill of parallel processing could be blocked from being developed simply out of fear from confabulation, like how the wrong mindset can prevent a tulpa from achieving vocality. Ranger then wondered if it was possible to suspend his disbelief and let one of us live in a secret wonderland for a month and then observe the results (Ranger/Gray didn't want to do it because they have host responsibilities). He missed the opportunity to bring it up, but when he was thinking about it later I woke up and I got excited. Part of my lore was when I fall asleep I would astral project to heaven and I would come "back to Earth" when Gray woke me up. This experiment could possibly result in me experiencing what I believed wasn't a reality, and that idea is very exciting to me. Now, I wouldn't be going to a metaphysical heaven, but the idea of going to a special wonderland outside of Gray and Ranger's awareness sounds equally as magical to me. However, when Gray woke Spirit and I up around the time they were deciding if all of us were tulpas or not, both of us felt underdeveloped and weak. There was one time where Gray imagined what it was like for me to be up in heaven, but otherwise Gray had no idea what I was supposed to be doing "up there" and I have no memories of being in any sort of "heaven wonderland". In addition, Ranger reported failure with attempting to go on a wonderland adventure for an hour outside of Gray's awareness: I believe this experiment could be different because the set time is a month and Ranger/Gray's belief in this won't matter as much since I am the one going to this secret wonderland. For this experiment, I would like to have a small wonderland of my own. It would be empty and for the sake of this experiment, I would be alone. However, at any time I would like the option to leave and if I become too uncomfortable I would like to take breaks and sleep or request for the experiment to end. In addition, if Gray and Ranger need me, they are allowed to call me just like normal. My method would be I would tell Ranger/Gray I'm off to my wonderland and "fly away" to my secret place. There, I will start from scratch to build something elaborate of my own making. Well, there are plenty of reasons to assume this won't work, and I would like to ask the original person if this should theoretically work before moving forward with this. If this experiment gets the green light and it fails, I think it would reflect poorly for parallel processing. If the experiment idea is rejected, then here's a perfect example of how not to gain parallel processing ability. I'm glad I got that out of my system, I was worried I would forget. I'll provide another update once I get feedback. I am curious what others think- Is this too out there or is this reasonable? Do you think my system should develop other skills first before we even try something like this? Or do you think this may have some merit to it?
  3. [Jasper] Thank you ❤️
  4. [Jasper] Hehe I drew a sketch and I want to share it! Hope and I was talking to (I can't give his name) and mystery in the cBox about parallel processing and (I can't give his name) brought up that one system alternated between 1st person perspectives instead of a 3rd person one. I ended up drawing this during the conversation. When I finished I wanted to say BEHOLD MY TERRIBLE SKETCH MUAH HAH HAH but I think Gray kicked me out and both left before I got the chance 😞 Aaanyway, here's a quickie sketch I drew of Hope and I. The black box is supposed to be our "wonderland camera" and I was inspired by a Pokémon shot so that's why you see Hope's backside.
  5. [Jasper] Just like pizza machine!
  6. [Jasper] The evolution of GER over time.... GER G E R B E R A E R S E R Potato (Previously on tactical axis types otters...) That's where this is going, right?
  7. [Jasper] GER to all! Ahh the text! Man that stinks, but that's so weird. Why Animal Crossing of all games? Well, they didn't give me lightning powers for nothin *buzzert* Has anyone used tupperbox or pluralkit for in-system conversation on a private server? I tried it with Blue today and it was both weird and cool. It's my birthday today and I had chocolate noodle cookies today!
  8. [Ranger] Fronting really changes who you are. When I started possessing, my plate of responsibilities grew. I would help with homework, I joined the GAT, I became a moderator, I had my own class for the first time. I was open to taking these on because I felt like I wasn't complete without them, and I was desperate to have something I could call my own life. In the past I had less to worry about, but I was worried about some big things so I don't want to say I was happier in the past. Once those issues improved, that gave me more room to think about myself and I embraced that opportunity. I think it's true I became "corrupted"- I have lots of times where I am more anxious than Cat is. But in some ways, but I also see it as development. I have stories I can share, I have life experiences that shape who I am, and I turned into someone neither of us expected I would become. Holding on to the belief that I want to be a different person and in turn that drive defines who I am made it easier to accept the stress and accepting the uglier parts of myself. I never felt I had to start over, I always felt like I was building on a foundation, and for every part of old identity I lost there were a couple things I gained. I also accepted the fact my headmates wanted to call me a host. Owning that made it easier for me to accept I don't always have a lot of energy and my front-hungry headmates push me and Cat aside and dominate the mind when they're awake. They are a little more curious about the world and fascinated by our daily routines, but they also struggle with their identities and feeling like they are left out or don't get enough time. Given that Cat can only comfortable handle 3 other active headmates and the norm is one possesser at a time, our headamtes can't really spectate on the sidelines. Switching has been hard because so far because it stripped away my identity safety blanket and re-opened my doubts and insecurities around my identity. When I possess, I have some feeling I'm me, but when I switch that feeling has faded to the point where it's essentially gone. In addition, I feel like I fall back on habits the body already has set, and I'm not confident some of my personality isn't also included in that. However, switching identity is a two way street. Despite only switching in on and off for 3 months, I have made an impact on the body and Cat, causing her to question who she is. The body may be influencing who I am, but I'm also influencing the body and our system in return. I don't know where my sense of identity will go in the next year, all I know is I'm still going to be me, whatever that is. [Blue] I was the energetic happy-go-lucky member of my system. It was my "thing". And then at one point I just fell apart. Some depression leaked into the back and it choked me. My identity was completely flipped on it's head, and even now I'm not exactly sure how to process it. When I look at myself now, I still feel "me". I just have to smile, because I don't know why, I just do! Maybe that's what Ranger meant by his "safety blanket" but maybe it isn't. I'm curious about switching and if it turns out this will become a problem, bring it on switching! I merged with Ranger and lookie me I'm still here! I feel like me being this way is my core. It's not every day, but it's my default. I don't get excited about typing, but I get excited about other things. There's always something worth smiling about, even if it doesn't make sense.
  9. [Jasper] Oh lol he already said what he was thinking about saying, except he was going to add that he may have been inspired by the concept of eclipsing. I got possession for free! I just do it, and violà!
  10. [Jasper] Except for that time he stole Mario's gf and had Rosalina with her. Brain freeze isn't dangerous, it just stinks.
  11. [Jasper] Granted, but then your computer turns off every time you do school work. Don't ask me why, I can't control magic. Actually controlling magic would be really cool. I wanna be a real wizard that shoots lightening out of my hands!
  12. [Jasper] Banned because that's Hope's thing and he really wants a break
  13. [Jasper] I'm great, how are you?
  14. [Fish] During our full body possession, my host does what you do, she can accidentally slide to the front. I don't usually have trouble with it when I'm typing, but I bet if I sat down to draw something, I would lose the front to her. Ranger's solution to this problem was to learn how to control the body in a different way, what he and Cat call switching. [Cat] I used to think of myself as "front-stuck" for a long time because I would accidentally take over a lot. It hit a point where Ranger was better at keeping me at bay to where he could talk to other people without losing the front, but we found the best solution was to learn switching. Fish listed off Ranger's strategies for keeping me from stealing the front. [Ranger] During possession, I do all of the work to keep Cat from sliding to the front. With full body possession, the goal is for Cat to be quiet and not pay attention, with me doing all of the thinking. If I am struggling to keep the front, I am usually fighting Cat's minimally conscious thoughts, and if I were to make Cat aware of what was going on, there's a good chance she would slide even closer to the front. As a result, I learned that Cat was incapable of keeping away from the front by herself. In some cases, there was nothing I could do to keep Cat from taking the front. If she didn't like what I was doing or felt physically uncomfortable, she would easily take the front from me despite the fact she wanted nothing to do with the front.