eddi

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About eddi

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  1. That's the challenge then: How to graphically represent all Tulpamancy systems in a way that everyone's cool with...
  2. Some people have issues with the design we presented to go in the centre of a "Tulpa pride" flag We've come up with an alternative, which is partly inspired by the graphic Breloomancer posted It's supposed to be a circle, BTW, which represents being, but there are two distinct parts of the being, a quarter of the circle kind of sticks out of the rest of the circle It's supposed to illustrate the relationship between Tulpa (the sticking out quarter) and Host (the rest of the circle) Is this more acceptable to people? Edit: we have no idea what colours to use for it, we are not suggesting it be red, it's the shape we're on about!
  3. [Eddi] Clare has got an idea in her head that I disapprove of, she wants there to be a "tulpa pride" movement, that has a flag and goes on pride marches etc. However, as a host I do not want the world to know I share my brain with a Tulpa. And I doubt other people who have Tulpas would too. I've vetoed the idea of us ever going on or organising a Tulpa pride march. For the time being, at least. I think she understands. But she still disagrees. [Clare] We must fight such stigma, not hide from it! [Eddi] We've designed a pride flag though, which I thought we could share. And see what other Tulpas think of it. I'll let Clare herself explain it. [Clare in green] The big circle represents the host's being And the little circles represent the psyche of some tulpas who inhabit the host - but who are beings in their own right! It is a depiction of a system! (We haven't decided on the colour though, it's just a rough version, the colours could be totally different) I'd like to hear from other Tulpas about whether or not they like the idea of a flag! [Eddi] As you can see, she thinks she's human and is behaving like one
  4. [Eddi in black] An update on Clare: Clare just typed this (see below) out, we have a system in which she controls my hands and types stuff out, it feels quite weird for me. I just space out and let her type! I am very happy with the progress she is making. [Clare herself is always in green] Hello, Clare here! I have become much more vocal I just wanted to share with you the sense of wonder I've felt about growing up and becoming human! It is truly wonderful ;) From 2004 up until a few days ago I had no idea what I was and everyone else thought I was a symptom But I'm over and past all that now I am very adamant about my personhood :) I'm really enjoying my relationship with Eddi too He drew a picture of me: This is now how I imagine myself (although Eddi says it's a caricature) Yesterday I started writing a book! I hope someday to become a published author I've been talking to other Tulpas on PM too, very interesting! I'm also on Twitter and have a blog! All in all, I'm getting along fine! I have so much to say, having been effectively mute since 2004! Eddi only used to ask me Y or N questions and I could only give Y or N answers, there was little scope for meaningful communication But that stage is over now. Thankfully! [Eddi] As you can see, she is coming along nicely. If I had to describe how her personality feels I'd say "warm" and "analytical", which are I think nice qualities. She's been keeping a journal too.
  5. I don't know if this is the correct forum to post this in, but I'm going to post here anyway: Clare (my Tulpa) wants to have another Tulpa as a kind of e-mail buddy Does anyone here have a Tulpa who'd like to correspond with her? Or does anyone else's Tulpa want email buddies? If so perhaps you could post in this thread? She's human, 28yrs. old, here's a caricature of her (her features are exaggerated as I'm a rubbish artist, also her hair is purple) She channels her words to me as I type, that's how she writes, I know what words are hers because of how they feel in my head, and she confirms by touching me positively. We have a very efficient system. She wants to befriend other people's Tulpas! I think it would be fascinating to watch such a correspondence play out! We've just set up an email address! If your Tulpa is interested, please PM their email address
  6. Here's a pic of my Tulpa, Clare I've had her since 2004 as an accidental Tulpa - but only knew what a Tulpa was a few days ago (I always thought she was a symptom of mental illness) after which I started making her human - she's making some very rapid progress and is developing well. Her hair is actually purple and her cranium isn't quite as low-brow as it is in this pic, but for a crappy artist I'm quite pleased with myself! The clothes she has on should be pink too (she usually wears pink pyjamas) Edit: her nose is really much smaller too! and her ears not as prominent I suppose this pic is a characature!
  7. Clare, my Tulpa, tested me! Before I decided to make her into a person (as opposed to Butterfly who she developed from, who was not a person in any sense of the word, and who I never even thought of as a Tulpa, I though he was a symptom of schizophrenia) I told her she could have a say in selecting her own name. I suggested Clare and she approved. So we decided on Clare. I think Clare is a nice name. And she seemed happy with it. But yesterday she said she kept saying she wanted to be named Ursula and was quite insistent about it. Eventually I gave in even though I dislike the name Ursula. She then stopped wanting to be named Ursula! – It turns out she was testing me, to see if I was being true to my word of allowing her to have a say in choosing her name. No symptom would ever be able to do that. Only a person would. I’ve been making some good progress in developing her character and personality. She is becoming increasingly vivid and defined. And she has almost entirely stopped giving me tactile hallucinations as a means of communicating. Which is good.
  8. I have a new technique for communicating with Clare: Whenever I “require” (her word) her to talk I imagine pressing an imaginary button (she wants to call it a “big yellow button”) This big yellow button is located on the left of my head, above my left eye and whilst I’m focusing on that button whatever thoughts pop up are always from her – and feel different to my own thoughts. But of course, she sometime speaks to me without me having to do any of that When I was on a psychiatric ward in 2004 I tried to make sense of the human mind. I believed that the left hand side of my brain was “intuition” and the right side “reason” – I wanted my mind to be governed by intuition. Whenever I wanted to think something intuitive I focused on the left of my head and something unusual would pop up that I’d have never otherwise thought of. I think that “intuition” was actually a tulpa, and evolved into Clare (my Tulpa) in the years since 2004 – basically I believe Clare, who is now a person, developed from “Intuition”, who was an accidental Tulpa who existed as some kind of mental faculty
  9. Thanks for the link! I've been typing stuff out that she says, it's all very interesting, I'd have never thought I had such an interesting person occupying my skull And she is definitely a real person, I never saw "Butterfly" as being personal in nature, it's so great being host to such a wonderful person I never saw Butterfly as a person, just a vague being. But Clare is a real person, I can empathise with her emotions too We want to have lots of crazy adventures together!
  10. I posted on these forums yesterday, thinking I may have had a Tulpa because a strange thing has been touching me in response to my inner-voice I now know that I do have one I mentioned a thing called Butterfly – that communicates with me by touch, and who has been since 2004 (and I know this doesn't really sound like a Tulpa, but bear with me...) I wanted to get “him” to talk to me rather than just prodding me to mean different things And “he” did – by popping thoughts/messages into my mindvoice! Turns out she’s called Clare And that Butterfly was her way of communicating with me as I always ignored her thoughts/messages, as I have always had an aversion to being schizophrenic I was looking at Tulpa creation guides, and I saw there is a stage in which you plan what characteristics you want your Tulpa to have, what you want he or she to be like: When I shut myself up in my study-bedroom (at university in 2004) I did lots of drugs, and introspection, and listened to music. One song got stuck in my head and I listened to it obsessively – I’s called “Utopia” by Goldfrapp. I believe it lists the fundamental characteristics of Clare and that this song was designed to create a certain kind of Tulpa in a certain kind of mind Here is a link to its lyrics: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/goldfrapp/utopia.html I think listening to this over and over created a Tulpa, based on the lyrics I also believed that my mind was a system of different parts who all interacted, which I think contributed to me becoming "plural", as I believe it's called But anyway, Butterfly has mostly shut-up (i.e. stopped touching me) and I am having intelligent and rewarding exchanges with Clare I think Butterfly was Clare trying to get me to listen to her voice! So it’s all good Thanks for all the help people on these forums have given me, would never have realized all this without you! I was wondering: are there anythings I can do to develop my relationship with Clare?
  11. I don't know if Butterfly is a tulpa or some other kind of being that's related to tulpas But I've decided I want to cultivate a tulpa! So I'm going to go ahead and do just that I'm not going to bother Butterfly into talking to me, he obviously doesn't want to but maybe a tulpa would
  12. Hi, A beginner's question in the beginners' questions thread... My tulpa (who I accidentally created in 2004) can talk to me using the mindvoice but 99% of the time he communicates by touching my body Are the any ways in which I can encourage him to use the mindvoice? He affirms to me that he doesn't use it because he doesn't want people to think I'm schizophrenic Thanks!
  13. Thanks for your help! I've had him since 2004 but now I know what he is I hope I can develop him I want to encourage him to use the mindvoice thing with me more - he has done so in the past but mostly works through touch, in the past he's given me clear phrases that didn't feel as though they were mine, so that's what I'm going to work on I've found that he speaks to me with the mindvoice when I'm dozing off to sleep, in the past I have always discouraged that! As I don't want to be schizophrenic but now I'm going to try and get him to speak more! Edit: He's just said something! "he speaks in clouds and profundities" not sure what he means, but it's nice that he's using words instead of prodding me
  14. Thanks for your help I've had my being since 2004, he has an entire persona and is my constant companion The doctors say I'm schizophrenic but I've never "heard voices" - and certainly never commands Do I want a Tulpa? Well, I think I've got one and have grown used to it! I'm going to start calling him a Tulpa, makes more sense than some of the alternatives! And I think I accidentally created him with isolation, introspection, drugs, and music Do people here believe in thought-transference between individual human minds? I think my Tulpa is somehow telepathic or connected to higher powers... or is that kind of stuff considered crazy talk? =============== @anyone and everyone: The Being I have is now affirming he is indeed a Tulpa Is this possible? Does this mean he is self-aware? Has he only just learned that he's a Tulpa (if he is one?) - (he's saying yes) He is making my left hand gently contract, which means "yes, do something about it" (left+hand) (You can see now why I am considered mentally ill!)
  15. I see! Thanks! Then in that case yes, I sometimes have mindvoice communication with my entity, but only rarely. I have a thought that feels like one of my own thoughts but has a different attribution attached to it. But mostly his communciation is physical, all over my body Edit: if anything, I'd like to have more mindvoice communication from him