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About kotanoises

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    Michigan, USA
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    Hi, my name's Kota! I'm 19 years old and I enjoy drawing and anime/manga. I'm particularly obsessed with Evangelion.
    My tupper's name is Kastor and he's pretty new right now! I'll have him write his own little bio when he's ready.
  1. Hello, everyone! New host here, the name's Kota. This is my first progress report, as well as my first post to this forum in general, so I'm a bit nervous... Regardless, I'll start you off with a little background information before I get started (sorry if this is unnecessary). I first learned about tulpas through an art account I follow on Instagram, they have an original character who developed a tulpa in their early childhood. I didn't think much of it for a few weeks till one night I just suddenly got curious and decided to search up "tulpa" on the YouTubez. After a few hours of getting sucked into the guides and informational videos, I was hooked. Now, not to seem like an attention seeker, but this is crucial information as to why I wanted to make a tulpa. This year I've been in a huge slump (I mean, my whole life hasn't been that great either, but this year has really been quite rough). In July of 2018, directly after I got out of high school, I was kicked out of my guardian's house. I am now living with my mother again (which is good). For a while, all was well. I was finally out of a household that treated me poorly and I was living with my mom again, but I knew no one, I couldn't leave the house (not a safe area and no transportation anyway), and the only way I had to communicate with the few I was friends with from my old town was the internet. As I'm sure most of you know, humans need a certain amount of social interaction to be happy. The loneliness, among other things I won't get into, was really starting to get to me in July/August of this year. I was the lowest I've ever been, I lost almost everyone. I'm doing better now, but I could have really used friends at a time like that. I still can use more friends now. I want someone to always be there for me no matter how low I get, and someone who knows why I act the way I do better than anyone else does. And that's why I decided to make Kastor. Rest assured, I am not making Kastor as a substitute for human interaction! My boyfriend comes up and visits me every other weekend now and we go places and have fun, so Kastor is simply enriching my life, not substituting for something! Now that I've got my reasoning out of the way... time for the actual progress report. I started developing Kastor on September 28th. I started off by giving him the form and personality of an original character of mine of the same name. He may obviously change and develop as he pleases, and he has (more on that later). I'll now start copying the entries I have so far from my notes app on my phone here to make this easier: (09/28/09) First heard his voice during vocality hypnosis session. (09/30/19) Woke up from a bad dream with tears in my eyes and suddenly visualized him flying to me and hugging me in third person view. This seemed to calm me down because as I would usually contact [boyfriend] and tell him about the dream, I instead went right back to sleep. I view this as his biggest communication to me so far. (10/01/19) I've been making sure to visualize him as much as I can remember to. When I leave a room, he leaves with me. I rub his head often and rustle his hair. I played with his ears and squished his cheeks, then asked him to go *chomp, chomp, chomp* with his teeth, and he did it seemingly without me having to force. Since then I've gotten pretty lazy at journaling my progress, but I'm hoping that making reports like this will fix that issue. 2 weeks since making him now, I can visualize him with almost no problem (it's easy to do, but I could still get better at seeing more clearly), but we are still working on vocality. I just need to get better at narrating and speaking to him as much as I visualize him. His hair has gotten longer than his template (a change I quite like, actually) and we gave him some clothes that make it easier for me to visualize him (adding a color that pops more than his original all white clothing). So that's the Kastor Progress Report #1! Thanks for reading!