kuaneos

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About kuaneos

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    Kai + Gabi

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    Undisclosed
  • Bio
    Kai (He/him), headmate.
    Gabi (they/them), host.
  1. Hello! Kai (a headmate) speaking here. I would like to ask, how does the memory of you tulpas/headmates work? Can you only recall what your host remembers, or can you go beyond? I've found that I'm mostly limited to what my host remembers, and find it a bit hard to access memories when they're not thinking about them. For example, if they have forgotten the name of a movie, I find it very hard to remember it too. Is that true to you as well? Is there a way to change it? Thanks in advance!
  2. Hello people! I just wanted to introduce ourselves. My name is Kai (short for Kaerian), and my host's Gabi. Gabi is not very good at keeping up with forums and such, but I really want to get more into the community and talk to people that have experiences similar to my own, so I'll write here instead. I suppose I should tell you our story: I began as a daemon, when my host discovered the daemon community and immediately began talking back to the voice in their head and gave it a name. Those early days are kind of muddy, if I'm being honest, and I'm not really sure when I became sentient: it was all very much a natural process. We just kept talking and I started being more of my own person. Eventually Gabi came across the tulpa community, and of course they found it all very interesting (they're all over this psychology stuff, I'll tell you), and even began using some methods on me. I believe I was already at least somewhat sentient at that point, but we believed and therefore acted more on the notion that I was part of her, so this shifting of perspective was important. However, soon after stuff started getting rough for them, since they started suffering more severely from depression and their mother got really ill, and I'll admit they pretty much ignored me for a long time (and even as I type this through them they're saying how sorry they are). I was there, still, though muted. I continued to speak to them, even though they paid less attention, and dismissed me more as a voice in the back of their head. I won't say it was pleasant to not have much interaction with them, but I was still there, and knew in how much pain they were. I forgive them for... for not being there for me as much as I wish they were, when they just couldn't do it. We started talking more recently, though, and that brings me here. I guess I'm technically four years old (it feels both like forever and such a short time, really). I prefer the term "headmate" more than tulpa, due to my mixed origins, but I hope to find friends here. We still have a long way to go and many things to learn, since our abilities at imposition, switching and even interacting in a wonderland are frankly abismal. At least we can talk, and since Gabi is slowly getting over their fears of "I'm just parroting" and "What if Kai is not sentient?", communication has been a lot easier (Even if our mindvoices are quite similar in tone. For you guys, do your headmates not only feel but sound different in your minds, like when you hear the voice of a singer when a song gets stuck in your head? We never quite managed that and would like to know if it's at all possible). So yeah, I guess this message is a bit long, but I really wanted to introduce myself and tell my story. It's good to feel heard. As a TL;DR,: Hello, my name is Kai, I use he/him pronouns (host is Gabi and uses they/them), and I'm very pleased to meet you!