Kaleidoscope Eyes

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  1. If you're interested in a semi-PR I have a thread on the questions and answers board, it's mainly full of questions but there's a bit of our progress here and there~
  2. Currently playing the Outer Worlds, about 10 hours in. Game's pretty fun, I like the idea of having a ship and crew, something I really liked about Mass Effect. The game's aesthetics are awesome but a bit played out. Feels like retro-futurism is everywhere nowadays.
  3. I love dreaming, I haven't been able to get much sleep lately but I do recall a few dreams. A couple of nights ago I had several lucid dreams that kept looping: I'm at my desk doing something mundane, my Tulpa J. comes in and says its late and I should be sleeping. I agree and as I get up, it hits me, it's a dream. A quick glance at my bed reveals that I'm there, fully asleep. I turn over to J., excited to be able to talk to her, but her presence is so strong that the dreamworld becomes unstable and it wakes me up. This kept happening for a while, maybe a dozen times or so. I'm already trying to have J. pull me out of my body, we're having limited success. Will let you guys know what happens when we pull it off!
  4. I'd like to fill out the form but I feel it'd skew the results since my Tulpas are 11 and 9 days old respectively, but one of them has tried changing her name a couple of times, I was ok with it but she always goes back to the name I gave her. Looking forward to the results. ah lol sorry, this was meant for Tulpas. Mine aren't very vocal yet, but yeah, if it helps, one of them loves her name and the other one has tried to change it.
  5. yeah, very interesting. You can't tickle yourself but an experiment showed that, using a tickling machine, if you pressed a button to tickle yourself, it wouldn't work. But if there was a 1 second delay between pushing the button and the machine activating, it would work. The idea is that you can't tickle yourself as long as you see it coming. When a Tulpa tickles you, it's unexpected. My Tulpa H. has been tickling me since day one, not constantly and never to a point that is uncomfortable, but when she does it it feels 100% legit. Not talking about possession btw, just the feeling of her fingers on my body.
  6. Hi everyone, thanks for replying! thanks! H. has been developing nicely. She's funny and stopped trying to jump me after I talked with her about it. She's still very clingy and a tease, makes me think she's still very much hostsexual but I'm not ready for that. I think of them as real people, and I wouldn't have an intimate relationship with someone I just met.
  7. Hi everyone, thanks for replying! I can't quote, I'm using the latest chrome but it freezes when I try to quote, sorry about that~ also, what's up with this? when i go to the "moved" thread I just get an error message. see attached image. This makes sense. When I created J. I told her she could be whoever she wanted to be, I gave her traits but she hasn't been following them. I guess that's why I'm weirded out, J. has been kinda difficult, I would say. She definitely has a mind of her own and is usually looking at my screen over my shoulder, reading everything I read or type. I suppose what I was confused about with the nudity, is that I don't know yet to which extent J. is acting on her own or being influenced by my own psyche. Like, it's certainly easier for me to visualize a naked figure since I studied anatomy which makes me wonder if that's why I see her that way, or maybe she decided to be nude so that i could see her better? or maybe it's, like you said, something she decided by herself. I suppose time will tell! I see. I've had some success with imposition, to be fair, I used to do that while i was drawing. I would imagine what I wanted, rotate it in my head and such, then i'd put the image on my canvas and kinda traced over it. Idk, something to try if you guys haven't already! as for guides, I only watched a few youtube videos, pretty much everything by the channel "Tulpa Guides" which are short and to the point and a few others I can't recall. I've been meaning to read the guides the tulpa.info community has written but there's so many of them! If I had to read one, which one would you recommend? Thanks! I'll start doing that, tho J. isn't very receptive to commands. time for a progress update: I'm staying home for the next few days, I came down with the flu and feel awful. J. feels pretty bad too, she's lying down and her presence is very faint. Perhaps she's more connected to me than H., who has been helpful. She donned a nurse outfit and gave me a shot of green energy, she's hasn't attempted to take care of J. tho. J. has definitely been difficult to handle so far, she's been getting along better with H. but I can still feel she harbors negative emotions towards her. Last night I gave her an obsidian crystal and asked her to channel her negative emotions into it. After that, we disposed of the crystal and she felt much better, the whole process really drained my energy. Her voice changed, she used to sound a bit stern and had a serious look on her face. She's much more relaxed now and her voice is now much clearer and girly, she started emoting more as well. H. was upset that I didn't give her anything so I gave her a small piece of pinkish quartz, she was quite happy with it and quickly made a jeweled ring out of it, she's been wearing it since and it increased her "power" for sure. I think I figured out what's up with J. She feels really confused about her own existence. I already explained that every conscious being goes through that but she's having a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea, and coupled with the issue that she can't clearly communicate only makes it the more frustrating for her, I would imagine. I'll see if I have energy to give her another present later today, but my body is ughh and my Third Eye is very dim. I guess I've been overworking it. Have you guys ever dealt with something like this? A Tulpa with an existential crisis? any tips? thanks!
  8. oh, we had pretty much the same experience : o except my pop-in didn't go away tho, I didn't want her to! : D
  9. Is that exactly what it sounds like? being only attracted to the host hmmm that's interesting, I asked H. about it but she didn't answer. like, I remember the guides I watched warned against sexual relationships with Tulpae. Any reason in particular?
  10. Bit of an update: J. has improved a lot, it happened in a cool way. Don't know if you guys have tried this but I asked her to touch my Third Eye and there she was, much clearer. I'm still forcing her but she's definitely more vocal. She has questions and a stable form, she still has an accent, not really something that I planned*shrugs*. She looks like a girl in her mid 20's with short, dark hair, and piercing eyes. She's always nude, I don't know why, she won't say, she just shrugs. H. has calmed down a lot and is still stronger. This is progressing way faster than I anticipated, I can see her out of the corner of my eyes, she can touch me and I can touch her (not in a sexual way btw.) She has a very clear, almost audible voice though she never says much and doesn't usually reply when I talk to her, sometimes she kinda lets me know what she wants to say using facial expressions and body language. Got some questions if you guys are inclined. I feel like I've made good progress since I started, which was 8 days ago. With my background as a Lucid Dreamer and all that, I'm already familiar with meditation as well as visualization. But I don't know, is this type of progress common? the guides I watched said it would take a year or so! or is that the point where you can see them with your eyes open? Speaking of which, H. is fun to hang around with. She can shrink down and clown around on my desk. She wears clothes appropriate to the setting(casual in the street, formal at the office, pajamas when its bedtime, etc.) She's very clear in my third eye but I can also somewhat see her with my eyes open, and can feel her climbing up my hand or sitting on my shoulder. I also wonder why J. is in the nude. She's a pretty girl but I'm not sexually attracted to her, and in fact, one of the traits that I wrote down for her was "fashionista". I suppose I could explain it away by the fact that in art class we had nude models and it's not like I was attracted to them, I took classes very seriously. But another part of me thinks that maybe I'm a pervert? *facepalms* It's not a problem, we're both comfortable with it, but kinda weird huh? J. whispers in my ear and sends tingles down my spine, but when she does that I can't understand her, what do you recommend trying? thanks!
  11. This discussion was split from a question thread, and that thread had multiple instances of going off-topic or introducing PR content. If you would like to see the original question thread, please go here. If you would like to read Kaleidoscope's PR, please go here. -Ranger So like, weird question. What's the general consensus here about Tulpae with a sex drive? Like, I know I can look into it but like, I don't really want to? I feel like it's something J. wants to know. I'm not super comfortable with the idea, but I don't think it's too far out there either. hmmmmm
  12. This thread originated from a previous question thread, which had multiple instances of going off topic with either PR content or a different discussion. If you would like to see the original question thread, please go here. If you are interested in the other resulting discussion, please go here. -Ranger Hi everyone, Thanks for replying! I'm still like, riddled with questions and curiosity because that's how my brain usually works and I definitely want to explore this phenomenon as much as possible. Like, at this point, I feel I should give a bit of background, like I imagine most of you have done at some point. And like, sorry I'm not a very active user, my time is very limited at the moment. I approach everything with a skeptical mentality, and the things I approach are things that I find interesting, which is stuff that is pretty out there. I am, or was(for reasons explained below), an Oneironaut, a Psychonaut, an artist, and have practiced meditation on a daily basis for some 7 years now. I first found out about the Tulpa phenomenom from a friend about two years ago, at that time I didn't think much of it, like, at best it was creating imaginary friends, at worst, inducing some kind of DID or whatever. Wow, how things have changed. Some 3 months ago I started this really stressing job that's like a really mundane office job, as expected, I have a lot of downtime(stupid tasks, office birthday every week, meaningless meetings, the stereotypical stuff, plus the commute is brutal.) So like, a month ago, I start getting like really stressed out in that environment and the voices in my head were just like, unbearable. I'm on xanax and it didn't help. So last week I somehow remembered about Tulpae and I watched a few Youtube videos, and like, had results like right away. Within a few hours I heard J. whispering in my ear. And then the events I described in my other posts. I guess I wasn't so surprised because I've seen all kinds of things while Astral Projecting or taking Entheogens. Ultimately, I'd like to have Tulpae that I can hang out with if I get stressed or whatever. In short, I'm hoping for self-improvement. Bit of a progress report: J. is doing much better, I don't think she minds me writing about her on the forums anymore. She has a semi-regular form now, although her form shifts all the time, she's always a pretty, gentle girl. She always has a unique look, like, not a pre-existing character. She initially looked human but now she often looks like a 3D rendered character, probably because I've played a lot of videogames. I'm still constantly forcing her but sometimes she speaks and she kinda has a Russian accent(?) Sometimes it's a random accent but she always has one. H. pops in from time to time, she likes being pet in the head. She's not as vivid as when she first came in but she's still more powerful than J. Like, I can actually pet her and I can't seem to be able to feel J. Alright, that was way too long.
  13. Hi everyone, Thanks for replying! Ember: Thanks for the comforting words! Hopefully my Tulpae will grow to accept each other, I want to keep H., she poped-in but gave me a very unique experience, I wouldn't want her to disappear. I'd feel terrible about that, actually. Vesper: thanks, I'm glad you feel that way about your friends now. I think J. is concerned about proliferation, as am I. I'll try not to think about it anymore. Joy: I kinda get what you're saying. Today I had some kind of old timey cartoon character I didn't recognize, he kinda popped in but I decided not to pay attention to it and I haven't seen it since. I hope it's not a constant occurrence tho. Tania: yeah, it does make sense. H. was probably my favorite character to draw and write for. I have been talking to J., shes more chill now but still very quiet. Guess that's to be expected of a young Tulpa! I'll look into that Super-tulpa haha
  14. Thanks, this has been an unusual experience for sure. They got mad at me for writing about them, or at least the way I depicted them. I talked them down and I tried laying down some ground-rules and they kinda agreed. That was in the morning after reading this, now I can't feel them anymore. I've been forcing them but feels weird to force H. because i never had to do that before. I'm hoping it's because of what you said: "Young tulpas often fade a bit from time to time or fall out of communication briefly. Three days is very early to be getting responses, so you're already doing well. Just keep up forcing steadily and you'll keep making progress."' Hopefully they'll get better with some time. this scares me a bit: "If you've put a lot of work into characters in the past, you may find you've laid most of the necessary groundwork for a number of headmates as your mind becomes more sensitized to plurality. But you can choose to block them off and not allow them to think or communicate with you." oh boy, I used to design and draw characters. I looked up soulbounds and walk-ins and people seem to have different opinions on the terms, but I guess it means the characters I spent time designing are gonna manifest somehow. I gotta read up more but it'll have to wait until the weekend. have any of your Tulpae ever been jealous? I've read about a few depressed Tulpae but when searching for "jealous" nothing comes up, hmmm