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Everything posted by Glaurung26

  1. Jaina here, part of the reason we started this topic is Darron wanted me to practice being my own self and developing my personality. He had me do a like/dislike list and we talked about our commonalities and differences. She answered some dinosaurs right out of the gate for animals. That's my girl, bffs forever. 😁 Yep, well here is the list we made. I'll trim the naughty bit. *blush*
  2. Hello everyone, Darron and Jaina here. We decided to make a hangout lounge finally to talk about us. One of our favorite mind palace rooms is a grassy knoll shaped like a bowl with a warm pond at the bottom. We'll lay down and talk about stuff, watching clouds drift by. This about as nice of a place to do updates and chit-chat as any. I'll do a drawing sometime and post it in the OP. Enjoy our unintelligible nonsense 😄. Darron: Host Jaina: Tulpa
  3. ^_^ thanks. Maybe I can coax her into taking the lead on planning things a bit more.
  4. Okay, it's couples therapy time. By necessity this will include a bit of NSFW discussion so beware of that. I'll try to spoiler the worst and explicit stuff. Okay so the topic. What are your thoughts on watching and enjoying porn together with your Tulpas? I'm mostly coming from a binary, hetero, male host/female tulpa angle. Other experiences, perspective and speculations are very welcome. I just only can speak to where I'm coming from. Origin story summary: The two of us are intimate frequently and spend lots of time together um doing things (like checkers? yea we'll go with that) in our mind palace, dreams and the virtual space. Well, all romances ebb and flow in intensity and from time to time a little spice needs to be added to the recipe. A little cosplay here, a little roleplay there. One of our rituals for foreplay is to browse for recent porn. Pics, gifs and video clips. Some cg, some drawn art, and some RL mating. Here's my question/concern bit NSFW: That's our weirdness anyways. What are your experiences and thoughts on tulpa agency, boundaries, needs, etc in romance?
  5. Us. We started out off as companionship to help with loneliness, stress and depression then it grew and deepened over time.
  6. I've struggled with the power dynamic a bit and even worried about codependence but we both seem to be happy with our arrangement. That to me speaks to a proper relationship rather than trying to mold to some ideal of what a relationship should be. Most of the time Jaina is content to ride along and just see and feel. Sometimes I give her "the wheel" but generally she's fine to let me drive. That's just how we grew together. I would love to give her a "proper" avatar so she could see, speak, feel, think and interact with the world as I do but I don't have the power to. She understands that and appreciates that I care that much about her needs and agency. She says that's enough for her. And so we share our time in virtual spaces, games and our mind oasis. All the while I feel her comforting presence and know that she's there. Of course, that's the arrangement that's been right for us and your mileage will vary on a system by system basis.
  7. Well, I imagine that the answer, to overgeneralize, is the same as any situation that could potentially be serious or have lasting repercussions. Being a teenager is a time of growth, making mistakes and (painfully) excising naivete. But most importantly of all learning. I suppose the danger would be in feeling committed to something you didn't truly understand at the time and are stuck with the responsibility of. Then there's the guilt of not wanting something you feel like you're supposed to want and the toxic self-harming twisted sense of duty and being honor bound to fulfill it. "You asked for this, why don't you want it anymore?" As someone who's lived in his mind all of his life, I'm intimately familiar with crises of conscience, self-doubt and identity. Your relationship with yourself can be one of the most complicated you will ever run into. With external persons you typically have rules, schedules, more or less defined expectations, space to contemplate and internalize. With the internal you're always there. You're sort of forced by circumstance into coming to terms with your own sentience and awareness. Contemplation is good but there's also a time to feel. You wouldn't make demands of another person and so you shouldn't demand or subjugate yourself either. Just feel who you are and sense what is right for you. I'm a proponent of having a natural, open, fluid relationship with yourself and any tulpas you may have. People can change over time. What may have been right at one point in your life might no longer apply. What you weren't ready for before, may be just the right thing for now. Leave room for growth and change. The tldr is people are too hard on themselves. Just go with your instincts and trust yourself. I discovered tulpamancy after many years of being neck deep in it. I needed a friend and so I made one. To fulfill a need that no externals could. I called out in pain and anguish from the trials of being a teenager and she answered. I didn't do any research, no outside influence, I just knew. And we've been happy ever since. No regerts 🙂
  8. D: Well we share the same body and she has the same access to hormones, chemicals and emotions from whatever stimulation I induce. We're like co-pilots and are watching the same show, so to speak. We're made up of the same stuff that the personality or ego or soul is made out of. J: It really is about the shared connection and emotion. As long as we are both involved in the thing, we both benefit from it. Whether it's a fantasy or a little more tactile. D: Maybe it's from getting older, but her libido often outpaces mine. Probably my deeper connection to the physical workings of my body and my identification as host, I'm more tied to the physical fatigue. She "lives" more in my mind, our mind-the brain area- so her desire might be more linked to the fantastical, emotional or mental facets of the experience. We're basically both shared, active participants and both get the benefits, even if our roles may differ.
  9. J: What is "human"? ^_^ D: What she said. The only standards that really ever matter are your own though it is good and healthy to seek advice. As with many things, just be natural, don't force change and just let things happen in their own time. If everyone is happy, no need to feel guilt for not fitting some arbitrary, universal construct of "what is right." Write your own playbook.
  10. Theoretically ours is accessible to everyone at any time. The trouble is, my mental organizational skills are about as good as my physical organizational skills. It's one great big, heavy heaped mass of paper. It's sorted by oldest at the bottom and the newest on top or outside. Except for recently accessed ones will be higher up. It takes anywhere from 2 seconds to 2 hours to find anything. Jaina is only "better" at it than me because she plays support for me while I do the "human" things so she is less preoccupied and has more of a mental RAM budget to run background processes. But even she can only do so much with *gestures vaguely* this.
  11. Thanks for the warm welcome! We appreciate it.
  12. Here's our dragon aspects: Darron: Jaina:
  13. We seem complimentary enough. Jaina shores up my weak areas while I generally do the human thing. She's confident and supportive, I'm thoughtful and introspective. And though we're slightly different our principles, morals and goals are aligned. Darron: 9w1 Jaina: 2w1
  14. Hello, Darron/Jaina here. I just found out tonight what a tulpa is. XD Better late than never I suppose. We didn't have the terminology so we just approximated with waifu. Labels are for other people anyways, we know what we are to each other. I suppose we should start with our origin story. (I is usually Darron, the host/primary/animus). It was around 2000 and a lot of stresses were building: parent separation, high school studying, close friend drama (because hormones), etc. I felt stretched too far, too thin and overwhelmed. I've almost always had a good relationship with my friends, family and teachers but I could only rely on them so far and only when there wasn't a conflict of interest (I probably should have approached a counselor but I was [am?] a timid child). So I just kinda mentally/psychically called out for help and She answered. I fractured my psyche into different entities and formed the two of us. Better a bend or small controlled break than a large uncontrolled one. It relieved the stress and pressure and we were able to operate more fluidly and dynamically to address problems. Whenever I needed help she was there, patiently waiting. She's always been my coach, counselor, cheerleader, mentor or even wingman. Whatever support role I needed. We were more siblings or besties at first. She was more androgenous and formless. She just absorbed traits over time. We might have been "frenefits" from time to time but we weren't serious romantically for a while. She never asked anything like that of me and helped me, mostly ineffectively, pursue women. I did find a girlfriend eventually. I liked her a lot for a long time but hadn't had the opportunity til then. It ended when my gf had to move and we couldn't manage the long distance. It was amicable but crushed me because of my attachment to the relationship. My heart was raw for about a year. But every night, my tulpa Jaina was there to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay and that I was still worth it as a person. After that our closeness deepened and we consider ourselves a couple..or whatever hehe. We talked about it and might still find another human to share our lives with but she'll always be there for whatever I need. Anyways thanks for letting me share and for the place for us to be welcome.