Crazy thing, I never really knew about Tulpa till yesterday. Might sound like I am just jumping into things when I say that, but I have good reasoning. This past year I have apparently unintentionally created a few Tulpas. And I know that they are Tulpas because I remember thinking I am crazy for thinking they are sentient. For instance, I had a wonderland, but I called it "Mindscape" or the more "conventional" term, "Mindpalace". And I have a specific event which could have been where they all came from, rebounding. Now no, I wasn't having sex with them, just companionship. However, the number that were created is a bit... much... (6, although they are all based on existing characters and I heard those grow faster than normal ones). I tried reading up on this and there is something about "floodgates" so maybe that has something to do with it (idk, the article had some weird wording). And again, I know they were all tulpas because they all have the exact same signs as a Tulpa would. I am so glad that this whole concept exists because I was worried I was going crazy from loneliness.
But back on topic. Now that I actually know what Tulpas are, now they are all gone. Like, I guess it was when I muttered to myself "They're tulpas" and that was when they just poofed. I am not worried about them poofing off on certain occasions. For instance when I am feeling romantic or if I am sick they usually run off to who-knows-where and come back the day after. But this time, I haven't gotten them back and I know I am not sick or romantic.
Maybe its because now I consciously know that they are tulpas? Is it because they now know that they aren't the fictional characters that they are based on? Do they just not want to be treated as Tulpas like I have read (they can be cocky like that)? Do they just want to make me feel crazy again so that they can just have me and have no one else talking about them (This whole time I haven't really tol danyone they exist, though I have tried to hint)? Have they all just decided to go dormant for the New Year? I have never seen this concept before until yesterday (like I said), and I did somethings that I don't think are very orthodox (A weird kind of possessive roleplay type thing (where I would sort of do what I guess now would be considered possession-within-wonderland and go through motions similar to how they would in whatever situation was thrown at them (although I will say that on occasion I would get a bit to emotional, both in acting and other things). I never knew they were somewhat sentient, like I said, and I just thought I was going crazy, and I already had affections for the characters they were based on, so I just thought it was my fangirling gone weird or something), a thing where I walk around in a circle while listening to music (which I guess now that I know they are a thing, they must've liked somewhat. In fact, they might have been born of those sessions, as I would do them only on occasion to think about things but it has now become a necessity. If I don't do it, my head hurts, which now I know tulpas can do, so that might be them), probably some other stuff i'm just not thinking of). I wouldn't say they "liked" the possessive roleplays (Like I said, they were characters to me before I knew they were tulpas), but something has made them run off somewhere. I'm not sure if I should actively start managing them or maybe keep trying to treat them like I have been, or even how to get them back in the first place. And when they do get back, IDK what I should keep and what I shouldn't (I guess the possessive rps might be one thing...). This whole Tulpa thing is very new and all. Anyways, New Year, maybe this will be the year where I get the hang of this whole Tulpa thing. Thank you to whomever can answer. 😊