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    I've been through a lot.. just read the PR and remember, only I am to blame.
  1. Why does this (tulpa) stuff keep coming up in my life? Had a friend mention lucid dreaming and being afraid of having to deal with the common side effect of sleep paralysis. I told him he should try forcing if he really wants to have a mindscape he can control without having sleeping issues. He asked me about some stuff and I told him i would supply him some resources for visualization. Thing is, I don't have most of them anymore. I still have the "Can't see a Dang thing" guide but I'd rather get him more than just one guide. Since a whole lot more guides have come out since 2014 what are some good guides for forcing and visualization I get him? -------Update: I've had a lot of time to look back and reflect at my endeavors. I've looked over some of the threads where folks have mentioned me, and a lot of them often villainize the folks I told about Claire.. But the truth is, the project was honestly kinda doomed from the start I wanted something to spur me to be more outgoing and extroverted, both of those aren't really possible if I was always sitting in a corner talking to myself(myselves?). So really if anyone is to blame for all the emotional trauma and horror... it's me, Wyatt. I don't regret any of the steps that brought me where I am now, even if some of those steps are things I'd never want to do again. I am still alive and feeling more hopeful than ever, but I don't know where Claire is. The reason for that is after a while Claire and I decide to part ways. She's has now been wondering my mind for the past four years, during that time I think we've met only two times, and then we just smiled and nodded at each other. That said I wouldn't be surprised if she'd infiltrated some of the D&D characters I've made. Anyway, hope you guys can help me out with those guides. Best of wishes to all of you who exist and those folks in your heads.
  2. Uhm... I was watching a Pony Thread Simulator (Yeah I know), and one of the posts mentioned something about "Making a Jackie-Chan tulpa." I had no idea what a tulpa was, so I went looking and eventually wound up here.
  3. I absolutely love It's a Wonderful Life! I've actually never seen the movie though, but I've got a cassette tape that has a radio adaptation with the original cast. Claire and I listened to it the other day, she enjoyed it a lot.
  4. Well one I could think of, someone, would be lust. Name removed by request -Vos
  5. It's been a while, Yoko, Azazel. How has time treated the two of you?
  6. Last Tuesday passed without any notable happening. Yesterday, however... My mother and I went into town to get groceries for Christmas eve/day. We stopped by the candle aisle and Claire enjoyed the different scents and picking her favorite, apple cinnamon if you're wondering. Afterward we visited the rest of the store. Claire rode in the cart and in opposition to my requests didn't climb out until there the cart had been filled up with too many groceries. For the whole exchange I was the one pushing the cart, so I tried to factor in her weight for how much strength I need to use. About noon we left Fred Meyer's and went to the local Mexican restaurant. There Mother half jokingly asked if I was going to order the deep fried ice cream. Claire, always interested in finding new food, began requesting I order it to see what it was like. "Now you've got her fixated on it," I said to my mother. My mother gave me a confused look and asked, "Who?" "Claire, your mentioning of the deep fried ice cream has gotten her as obsessed with trying as she is with the rainbow trout at Cracker Barrel." Mother took on a reserved expression and straightened herself in her seat, "I worry about your involvement with that stuff." I was quiet about Claire for the rest of the day. I thought I had settled my mother's fears, apparently not. I've gotten quite frustrated with having to keep Claire a secret, hidden away like a bastard child during the 17th century. Hiding away in a secluded quiet room like a modern Dr. Frankenstein. Even in the presences of those I've taken into my confidences I feel constricted, like I should talk to Claire out loud like I normally do. I can't stand it. Keeping other people's secrets is easy, but I've never been one for having secrets of my own, especially when I delight in said secret. Anyway, Claire and I have started working on vocal imposition. I've forgotten my old tricks for practicing it, has anyone got some favorites they'd like to clue me in on?
  7. Good to hear from you after a time. I know just what you're saying with feeling like a father at times, that lovely time when they're starting ask for explanations. That said I abruptly stopped thinking of myself as Claire's dad when she made a few suggestive remarks, it felt too creepy. Sounds like Mira won't turn out like that though. If you find any tricks for imposition be sure to mention them, I could use any tips you got. But it's exciting to hear to that Mira is speaking now. Maybe Claire and I will see you both on IRC some time?
  8. Hey guys it's been another few days since I've updated this but I've been keeping a physical log of what's been happening so I've got some notes to reference unlike previous times. Anyway last Saturday morning I went upstairs to my mother's sitting room. She was having her morning Bible reading and asked if I wanted to join, I said yes. After a while we started talking about if we should have our usual Christmas Eve party. We talked about that for a little while and then my mother brought up how nice it was I wasn't depressed this Christmas, unlike last year. It seemed like a good opportunity to bring up Claire's return. "Oh no," were the first words out of her mouth when I informed her. I assuaged her worries by bringing up the six month long analysis I did with Pastor Matt. When she brought up some of the creepy communicatory thing-a-majigs certain African tribes are purported to do by staring at fires I went one step further by stating that tulpamancy can only affect one's perception of reality and not reality directly. Later that evening Claire and I were watching The Uninvited with the family. I kept laughing at various anecdotes Claire would make earning more than a few queer looks from my mother. Toward the end of the movie a most curious thing happened. I was sitting down when I suddenly felt like I had very long hair. It was like that ghost limb phenomena but with hair. I got up to walk it off, but it only persisted and grew more noticeable with the addition of bossoms. I grew quite concerned and whispered, "Ok this is getting weird, Claire, it's like we're overlapping." After many unsupportive jokes from Claire about having invisible breasts for the rest of my life the feeling went away as mysteriously as it had come. Since it has not come again. Sunday brought a visit from my brother, sister-in-law, and my niece. My brother, Hunter, brought his M91-30 Mosin-Nagant, his latest addition to his gun collection. According to the date printed on it it's old enough to have shot Nazis, a fact which he is very proud of. We fired about two clips each and now two days later I'm still feeling it. But the noise produced when it fired impressed Claire and she remarked how excited it got her. Afterward we went back into the house, Claire and I watched my (our?) niece, Gwendolin (Hail the Dark Sun Covenant). We've been fascinated by the similarities and differences in how thoughforms and children grow. After a while we lost interest in comparing the two and just enjoyed the baby. After dinner I snagged a ride from my brother and sister-in-law to my friend Zach's place. We played some Dark Souls and caught up with each other, it was pleasant. He asked about Claire and I dropped into proxy mode and just let her talk for a bit. It was odd not paying attention but still conducting an intelligent conversation. The night took a really strange turn when Zach's girlfriend started texting him. It started off innocently enough until I saw Zach texting something about how his favorite thing to do was quote, "making her cum." (That was really hard to type just now). After glancing that elicit message the awkward meter topped out and I dropped into proxy mode, I wasn't prepared to witness such things. Claire was giggling like a maniac at how squeamish I was being. Zach just starred at us, unaware that his massages were being read. After a while the awkward meter settled back down into tolerable ranges, the giggling stopped and I took over again. A short, and I mean short, time later he began sexting something else so horrible I will not type it, but needless to say I let Claire handle it. After another fit of giggling from Claire and more starring on Zach's part Claire leaned forward and said, "Some of us are more squeamish than I." He glanced at his phone then back at us, Claire smiled the mischievous smile of a certain wise wolf looked intently at him. The next two minutes all I heard was Zach furiously tapping away at his phone, presumably telling his girlfriend that we had been privy to their elicit communications. The rest of the evening passed without incident. And those are the notable events of the passed few day. I'll update this in again (hopefully soon) with more developments.
  9. I know Claire had a week long period where she acted like there were teenage hormones in her system. After that she calmed down considerably, she's still got her mischievous streak that developed then, but she either hides it well or it's more subdued. Whatever the cause of that episode, tulpas do seem to "age" personality wise. I'm still really interested in finding something or someone that sounds like Mira. Don't suppose you'd do more searching around for something similar?
  10. Some mancers say it's like meditation, but having never meditated I don't know. I just find a comfortable spot with a place to set my tea and start forcing, after having to focus on forcing for a bit something clicks and I have to put no effort at all into it. There's no set method to forcing, everyone has their own style, this can make it hard to pinpoint a right and a wrong way to do it. The results, however, are typically the same. Best tip I can give is look through some other progress reports for methods that sound similar or compatible with your own.
  11. I shouldn't let more than a day or two go by without updating thing report. Anyway, the 3rd was some kind of anniversary. We have no idea what sort of anniversary it was, but we did know we wanted to do something fun. We made big plans, we were big schemers, but then school life said no. Most of our plans got thrown out the window due to an English assignment, but we still got to dance. Claire had at some point in the day designed a green ballroom gown, it had a string going from the hem of the skirt to the her gloved right hand. I loaded up a playlist of waltzes from Youtube and we spent about forty minutes dancing away within an endless tiled dance hall. Even though most of our plans went up in paper work, we still had a pleasant evening. The following Thursday, the 5th, there was a jazz concert at my university. It was free, so of course we planned to attend. Earlier that day I had done a bit of forcing, not much about fifteen minutes, but it was really starting to bug me how jittery I still perceived Claire's movement to be. During the drive to the concert I had the most brilliantly creeper idea to solve the problem. When we arrived we found a set of seats about halfway up the middle row, from there I began to watch the entrances and study how people's legs moved. After engaging in this activity for about eight minutes Claire piped up and asked, "So are we just going to sit here and watch women's legs like a pair of creeps until the concert begins?" "Yes," was my answer. After about twelve more minutes of staring, the lights dimmed and the concert got going. It was a blast. It also made me aware of how there are times I'm glad Claire is invisible. Now, I move a lot when I keep track of a beat. I'll sway left and right in my seat along with the rhythm, tap both feet, and tap one of my hands along with it. But compared to Claire... I've never been to a metal or rock concert, or a "rave", but I imagine that people there show their enthusiasm as much as Claire does with jazz. I'm not even sure how to describe her... antics, but I am quite glad she's invisible, even if that makes holding conversations with her and real people tricky. That Saturday my sister and I went to visit our cousins a few counties over. The trip is a little over two hours. On the way there I spent most of the time forcing, movement was far less jittery. I finished setting up the warp cube in the WL and swapped rune CM-9 with CM-1. As I had guessed this removed the eternal night and the snowfall replacing them with a sunny bright spring season. I was a little hesitant about using the cube for anything else. I didn't have a clue as to what most of the runes do and aside from the bayonet I didn't know of any other weapons at our disposal. I voiced these concerns to Claire. She pointed out that since we had a pile of firewood there had to be a chopping ax somewhere around the glade. I found it around the back of the house and picked it up. Since I've likely never mentioned it, my family has a wood stove to heat their house. The demand for firewood has resulted in me having to chop a great deal of wood. So I know a nice ax when I pick one up. The grip and knob were made of a very heavy deep red wood, I guess it was some kind of ironwood, the rest of the handle was made of some sort of maple, and the whole thing was without a splinter or divot. The ax head itself was covered with a leather "sheath" of sorts, it have a buckle to remove it. After taking it off and examining the head itself I was puzzled as to what kind of metal it was made of. It was lightweight and looked like iron, but it had a soft red discoloration that gathered mostly at the butt and that streaked toward the bit. I have no idea if this metal exists or not, but it holds a sharp edge well. The rest of the trip there was spent getting used to the weight and speed of the ax. On the trip back Claire gave me a strap for the ax so I could wear it on my back, I don't know where she found the leather but she did. I was feeling a little more confident about exploring with the warp cube so I punch altered the new home code slightly by replacing CM-5 with GR-5 and CM-6 with DS-6. We warped in to a cliche western town, the clock approaching high noon. Now, I have a sneaking suspicious that the choice of scene might have been influenced by the fact that my sister had the song Big Iron playing, mostly because a showdown between a California ranger and an outlaw that happened lyric for lyric as the song played. Once the event had played out we decided to explore around. We found a tailor who was willing to give me a shirt with buttons in exchange for the atrocious plaid shirt I've had to wear and if we delivered a suspicious package to the "man at the chapel". We gave the package to the dude and asked him if there were any other warp cubes near town. He gave us a look, it was brief but it was chiseled with disgust, then mumbled something about one being behind the chapel graveyard. We took that cube and went back home. I'm still concerned about his reaction to the mention of the cubes. For the past several day since then I've been doing finals, but today I finished the last of them. YAY! I've got a nine hour plane trip to get to my home in Washington State. I'm planning on spending four-five non-consecutive hours of that forcing. It's going to be hard but I'm sure it will help significantly.
  12. I really enjoyed working on form when I did it. It feels a lot different than forcing objects or scenery, more relaxing, though why I don't know. What sort of specific troubles are you having with visualization? Are you getting distracted, having trouble making sure things stay the same size and shape, or is it simply the problem that you feel "blind"?
  13. I've listened to that song through a lot of hardship so I don't really understand how it works for affectionating. Eh, reminds me I should dig the sheet music I have for it out and practice it over Christmas.
  14. Give it some time, Koomer, before you decide to lead a normal life or a clean slate. I'm glad to read that you're alright, I was quite worried about you two.