Ravii

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About Ravii

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    Hello! I'm Ravii, I'm an artist and I'm currently working on my first Tulpa, Keith. English isn't my first language so I'm sorry in advance if my English ever sounds weird lol

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  1. It’s the 13th day since I’ve started creating a Tulpa. I kept narrating to him every day but I haven’t really mustered up the time/motivation to active force since 3 days ago. Though I did a pretty good amount of it today and my motivation is returning, so I decided it was a good time to share my progress again. 2 days ago, I did a really quick active forcing session to add a bedroom to our tiny house in our wonderland so we could sleep together (No, not like that, dummy, just to genuinely sleep together.) I thought it would be helpful to do so since every active forcing session I’ve done in bed makes me fall asleep and that isn’t really a kind thing to do to Keith. The bedroom has a bed in the corner and a window, that’s it. Nothing complex. I also started logging my conversations which I haven’t done until now. I found it useful to help determine what helped and what hasn’t. Here’s a conversation I had with Keith(?) a few days ago while I was driving. Me: (seeing waffle house) Hey, waffles! What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear waffles? Keith: … Me: Well, it could be a color! I’m thinking of yellow. What about you? My dumb subconscious: Red Me: Red? Why so- My dumb subconscious: Blood My dumb subconscious: (Gives me a gory bloody image) Me: … Ohhh boy… I found it kind of funny. Intrusive thoughts like these are interesting. I remember on the 3rd day of active forcing, I was hanging out with Keith at a beach watching the sunset. We were relaxing and just sitting there until Keith kind of turned… monstrous? Demon-like? Horrific? The wonderland kinda twisted and turned dark and I got pretty scared. I tried to stop it but I couldn’t, so I just stopped active forcing there that day. I’m pretty sure the reason why this happened was because I was thinking about the “what if Keith turns bad? What if he’s actually a demon?” kind of thing, whoops. These thoughts just come and go, don't they. I started to ask him simple yes/no questions throughout the day yesterday, but I noticed that these responses weren’t really coming from him and there wasn’t a “conscious” behind the answers. I would ask him “why yes/no?“ and I wouldn’t really get an answer, or the answers were short and non-complex, something that I would easily think of. So today, I did something different. I used the Tulpa Vocalization Practice worksheet to make Keith think for himself. We did Exercise #7: Describe this character. After explaining to Keith what we were doing, we started the exercise. Here's one of the interactions we had. Me: Can you describe to me “Damien, a vampire”’s appearance? Keith: (throws an image of somebody like snake from super smash bros, probably a thought that my subconscious just threw at me) Me: Mmm, no, try again. Keith: (Showing me an image of) …A man, with long sharp fangs. Me: Uh-huh. Keith: Short hair, long black robe that’s red on the inside. Me: Mm-hm. Keith: … Everything is black. (Meaning his clothes) Me: That’s great! Can you describe his backstory? Keith: … (silent for a while) Me: It can be anything! Like, how he became a vampire in the first place. Did he get bit by another vampire? Or did he get into the occult or… Keith: … (silent) Keith: He got bit by a vampire. Me: Ok, great! Let’s try getting more of that backstory in there. What about his family? Keith: (Shows an image of a 5-6 person family) Me: So what happened to them? Keith: They… all became vampires. Me: How? Keith: They got bit. The responses he gave were short sentences and they weren’t really that thoughtful, and it wasn't like his personality to answer like he did, but it definitely wasn’t something that I would have thought of. Also, I was trying really hard to stop myself from thinking about the vampire and let Keith talk. I feel like every time I come up for an answer to a question myself first and then ask Keith for another opinion, it just… wouldn’t work, like my initial answer was blocking other opinions from coming in. That being said, I think stopping myself from thinking kinda worked? I was feeling pretty strong about this one. And again, even if it wasn’t actually him, I think it’s safe to say that it won’t hurt to trust that it was him : P We continued with another 2 characters, each one continuing longer than the other and more thoughtful than the other. I think I’m gonna continue with this exercise. I put a goals section in the topic too. I'm excited to see them crossed out one day.
  2. That's the exact same thing I'm experiencing! Especially with yes/no questions, sometimes it doesn't really feel like the answers are coming from a conscious being, but it just feels like an automatic response. I would ask "why did you pick yes/no?" often, but it usually comes back with silence or a quick short automatic sentence. I guess learning to talk with complex thought processes on both ends comes with practice and time, since I've read from some sources that it's kind of hard for young Tulpas to communicate with long sentences and thoughts, as well as for hosts to openly listen to those responses. Thank you so much, I'll keep that in mind. This has been really helpful to think about.
  3. I would say they’re pretty much all short automatic stuff I don’t have to put much effort into.
  4. Thank you for the reply, Mirichu!! 😄 That makes sense! Thanks for the clarification, I'll keep that in mind. Well, I kind of hit a point a few days ago where I started to question what and how i was forming my “own” thoughts since I’ve never had to question who’s thought is who’s until now. So I don’t even know how I’m forming my own thoughts, if that makes sense? Every thought feels so... automatic and kind of unexpected, and expected at the same time(?). Which, again, is probably how thought works, but I’ve never contemplated about that until now, so it confuses me a little, especially when I’m talking to Keith. On top of that, because I’ve done a lot of visualization/puppeting/parroting with the stories I write, drawings I draw and the OCs I create, every visualization and parroting technique is pretty automatic from being used to doing it so much. Which brings me to the question every time, is Keith actually talking to me or am I unintentionally parroting him, like the characters I automatically pilot in my head? I don’t really consider this much of a problem, though; I know if I continue to practice with Keith that I’ll be able to tell the difference between me and him in the future. I'm pretty hopeful, it’s just a little confusing as of now. If I’m not making any sense feel free to call me out, also sorry this is so long lol It's pretty confusing, but I'm keeping an open mind about it, and although there is a lot of doubt going through my head that I definitely need to work on, I try to keep trusting it's him. Thank you!! 😄
  5. Progress so far: I can visualize the wonderland pretty easily, as well as visualizing Keith. Got a really strong head pressure once. Though it wasn’t from the left or right side of my head, it was more from the front-center-rightish part. This was when I was reading a guide for Tulpa’s about how to talk to their hosts. Got a weak head pressure once during one of my classes. I was coaxing him into getting my attention beforehand. Got an overwhelming sense of joy while listening to a particular song once. I was talking to him beforehand and it was definitely way too overwhelming to have just come from me. I also kinda know what “tulpish” feels like now. I can hold a short conversation with Keith. He doesn’t really respond in long sentences but rather with yes/no/idk or an image or tulpish. This does sound like the answers are coming from him, but again, I’m not really sure if it’s actually him. It still kinda feels like I’m parroting him and the responses are expected. I do ask him if the response was from him but I always get an “I don’t know”. The voice doesn’t sound like my mind voice either, it sounds like the voice I imagined Keith having. On the 3rd day of forcing, I made a room in my wonderland and I asked him to take turns creating furniture with me. After I brought a chair, there was a sudden image of a couch in my head which caught me completely off-guard. I could tell that this was definitely from him because of how unexpected the response was. I haven’t really had that kind of a “this response was definitely from him!” moment after that. I’m pretty sure the “surprise me” method is working very well. The responses don’t really “surprise me” per-se, but they are always unexpected. I’m pretty surprised that my dreams have become way more vivid and long after starting to active/passive force. Also, after 8 days of passive/active forcing I got a major headache. Either the headache was from doing unusual Tulpa things with my brain or it was just from a cold, since my throat did hurt a little earlier that day. I hear that it’s pretty normal to have headaches while developing a Tulpa and it did go away after a good night’s sleep. Either way, I took a day off of forcing the next day and my progress kinda slowed down after that. I’m trying to get back on track. The wonderland right now: A vast grass field with a tiny house that only has a living room in it. The living room has a tv, a couch, a tiny bookshelf and a window. Working on getting more stuff in the house.
  6. I’m 11 days into creating my tulpa, Keith, and I thought it would be a good idea to keep a progress journal here. I already have a hand written journal about the experience so this is going to be kind of a summary of those journals. Bit of context: I’m an artist/writer/creator going to college. I’ve made many OCs in the past so acting them out and visualizing them comes naturally to me. This is a super good thing but also sometimes a problem, since I often don’t know if I’m parroting/puppeting Keith or not, but I’ve learned from the help of a member’s advice to keep on going even if I am parroting him and that he’ll eventually be able to reject my thoughts. (Thank you Ranger!) Motivation: Companionship Having a person to bounce ideas off with To maybe help me with my social anxiety and my stuttering? Curiosity To learn about my subconscious more What i’m doing: I actively force during an hour I have in the bus, though I often lose concentration. I don’t really active force that much when I’m home, around 20min-45min a day. I’m going to try to work on getting an hour in every day. I’ve done tulpa hypnosis multiple times. It was a nice experience 🙂 I’ll continue to do so. I’ve done a ton of passive forcing and narration while i’m drawing/walking to class/driving/etc every day. I made a quick friendship bracelet to remind myself that Keith is with me and to passive force 😆 I draw Keith a LOT whenever I’m bored lol This isn’t really a thing I’m doing intentionally and it isn’t really a practice/exercise either, but I think it helps with the visualization at least a little. Goals (for now) Strong sentience (main priority. Strengthening his own ideas and thoughts.) Vocalization (main priority #2) Possession Our wonderland A vast grass field with many trees surrounding it. (added 1st day) A tiny house in the corner of the grass field that has: A living room with a tv, tv stand, vase with flowers, window, tiny bookshelf and a couch. (added 2nd day) A bedroom with one window and a bed in the corner. (added 11th day) Keith’s appearance: This is what Keith looks like as of now. I’ll post a better picture of him later. I’m well aware that he’ll probably deviate from this figure, as well as from his original personality. As long as he’s happy with it, I’m happy with it :) I’ll keep this section updated. I would love your advice! Feel free to send me a response on how I'm doing, what I should do, what I'm doing wrong, anything. I would love to hear your thoughts 😆
  7. Hello! I’m a busy college student who’s been lurking around the community for a bit now and finally got the guts to make an account and post :> I’m a week into creating my tulpa. I’m basically in my “was this me, or was it really my tulpa?” phase of development. Since i’m pretty busy i mostly only have little time and effort to actively force every day, but i’ve been passive forcing anytime i can. I’m also an artist/writer/creator with too many OCs and ideas. Also my first language isn’t English so if i ever have any grammatical errors i'm sorry in advance lol
  8. Thank you so so much for the detailed response, Ranger! 😄 That's good to hear! I guess I'm just so used to moving my characters in my head without giving much attention/focus that I'm worried I'm doing the same thing with my Tulpa lol Visualization comes a little too easily for me, haha But I'm glad to hear that they'll start to reject my thoughts and become resistant to me parroting them if I am. I've read somewhere that Tulpas don't like being parroted/puppeted (which makes sense) so I wanted to try my best to not do so. I don't know, how do you feel about that from a Tulpa standpoint?? Very true!! I believe the most important thing is that my Tulpa is happy and comfortable 😄 He did change back to his original form today but I've made sure he knows he can change back to that form or whatever other form he chooses, whenever he wants to do so. Thank you so much for your insight! Again, I'm super grateful that you've read my whole blabbering and answered my questions very thoroughly : D It really helps me out as a beginner to listen to opinions like these. Thank you again!!
  9. Hello there! I'm a complete beginner and I have a question about Tulpas changing their appearance. For a bit of context, I’m 6 days into creating my Tulpa. Because I’m an artist and I have many OCs that I naturally act out in my head, I’ve been having trouble telling the difference between parroting/puppeting and my Tulpa actually being sentient, but I’ve read in multiple articles/guides that it’s best to assume it was your Tulpa, so I kept doing so. Yesterday I watched a Tulpa hypnosis video on YouTube to develop a stronger relationship with my Tulpa and help my Tulpa become more sentient. After that, suddenly my vision of my Tulpa’s appearance has changed completely. I know from many guides and articles that Tulpas can do that, though I was surprised by how sudden and drastically he changed. I wanted to hear from somebody who had the same experience. How did you know your Tulpa changed their appearance? Was your change more sudden or gradual? Do you think this was my Tulpa changing it’s appearance or do you think it was me having a wild imagination? If it really wasn’t my Tulpa, do you think it’s ok for me to assume it was my Tulpa and that his appearance has changed? Thanks for reading this whole thing and have a nice day! 😆