• Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About theguywiththeface

  • Rank

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. Day 92, wk 13 A bit late on this one but life happens. Not the smoothest of weeks, but I guess I've got it coming after two easy weeks. We're still practicing with other forms and I'm paying more attention to giving Katarina a separate voice. its not the most consistent but its getting much easier to distinguish somewhat iffy thoughts. The internal voice I sort of built her off of is still there so I still occasionally get the two of them crossed but now that I'm paying more attention to her voice its gotten a bit better. We had a couple of arguments again. I'd like to blame fatigue but it was well deserved on my part. Katarina has been frustrated that I don't take her advice to heart enough. I've been letting my laziness get out of hand lately. maybe its just the shutdowns getting to me and just been more cooped up than usual, but I've always been somewhat lazy. I'm going to do better with that for both our sakes. Katarina is ambitious and I want her to feel like I respect her and I want her to be proud of me. I need to stop just promising to do better. I need to actually improve. maybe this week I'll focus more on myself. It always feels easier putting effort outward than in. Skills Progress 1. Dedication: I've been going Kat more thought time lately 2. Narrating: Still going strong, voice training is progressing and she's more recognizable among other thoughts 3. Visualizing: Kat is still playing with more humanized forms 4. Passive Consideration: She's still popping in to chat on a regular basis which has done wonders. I'm getting back into the habit of carrying her with me again which she enjoys Tulpa Name: Katarina Tulpa (Main) Form: Red Fox Wonderland: NA Latest Milestone: developing sense of self Vocal: Yes! Moving: Strong when visualizing Sentience/Personality: YES! imposition: No Switching: No Katarina's Corner: Like he said, I'm getting more than a little fed up with the dynamic right now. it gets really old really fast giving advice, being told I'm right, and then still being ignored. I get self improvement isn't easy but still. His laziness is worse than ever and this shit needs to stop. I know he's sorry and I know he wants to improve but goddamn am I sick of hearing that ever damn day. I don't want to rant too much and get too personal but yeah, maybe a week or so of self focus would be a good idea. In more positive news. I am liking having a distinct voice again. We tried to establish one earlier in the progress but it didn't really stick and got overshadowed. Still working on the right balance. not much else to say, here's hoping for a better one next week. -Katarina -TheGuyWithTheFace
  2. Day 84, Wk 12 Happy 3 months!!!!!! I just realized we'll be hitting 100 days soon which is crazy. My last 2 end of month reports were all pretty major but tings have kinda calmed down a lot. Progress is much more gradual now that Kat has developed her own personality and things have calmed since our arguments in the last couple weeks. So not a ton to report this time around. She's still been popping in and out to chat throughout the day, and she's still trying to solidify her own conception of herself. She's been playing around with her form a little bit today but I'll let her talk about it more. A bit anticlimactic for the end of the 3rd month but not much happened of note. Skills Progress: 1. Dedication: Going steady Katarina is keeping me honest now a days more and more 2. Narrating: Still going strong, though I relaize while writing this that I haven't really been focusing on her voice much. maybe I'll let her play with it a bit during her though time 3. Visualizing: Still not much to do on this front, Kat has been playing with her form a bit but that's more her initiative than mine 4. Passive Consideration: She's still popping in to chat on a regular basis which has done wonders. I'm getting back into the habit of carrying her with me again which she enjoys Tulpa Name: Katarina Tulpa Form: Red Fox Wonderland: NA Latest Milestone: developing sense of self Vocal: Yes! Moving: Strong when visualizing Sentience/Personality: YES! imposition: No Switching: No Katarina's Corner: Hi all, Like GuyWithTheFace said, not a ton to talk about this week except my experimenting with my form. I'm not against my original form of a fox, but I do want to try other things out, though I'm finding Its sticking with me to some extent so I guess fox is still my theme. If I'm being perfectly honest it started as just a way to mess with/tease GuyWithTheFace. He doesn't like the idea of me being too human looking because he's a bit afraid of straying to far into waifuism (no offense to those who do walk that path. Just not for us.) I'm in agreement with him that I don't want to become his waifu but I am interested in experimenting with my form more seriously (plus its fun to tease him, not even a little sorry.) Still not sure what direction to take this in but 'll give it some thought. I don't plan on abandoning my fox form but have some alts when the mood strikes me seems like a good idea to me. That's about it. Any other tulpa's here have experience with early form experiments? -Katarina She's been significantly more smug and cheeky as of late as you can see, but I can't hold it against her. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. See y'all in month 4!!! -TheGuyWithTheFace
  3. day 77, wk 11 we're approaching three months now, time really flies. Somewhat bittersweet news. bitter because me and Katarina have been butting heads and fighting more often but sweet because I'm kinda happy about it. I don't like her being angry or sad of course but it's progress that we're fighting right? She's able to clearly express emotions now which is great all things considered. and she is expressing desires and principles too! Its not fun in the moment but I'm kinda proud that she's like this (she even seems embarrassed right now from the praise!). Like I said before, communication is key so this was good progress. plus her being able to speak her mind really dispels any lingering worries I get that I'm making this up (its much rarer now than before don't worry) Katarina really enjoyed her time alone with her thoughts so I'm going to make that a bigger part of our routine, its good for her development I think. I don't have much else to say and I know Kat has a hell of a lot. Skills Progress: 1. Dedication: Going steady Katarina is keeping me honest now a days more and more 2. Narrating: we've been having arguments but subject aside they are consistent back and forth, so progress I guess. 3. Visualizing: Honestly, I'm not sure what more progress will come here, I can't see much else until I try imposition 4. Passive Consideration: I feel like she's been butting into my thoughts more and more so this is going well I'd say, though less from my efforts and more from her development Tulpa Name: Katarina Tulpa Form: Red Fox Wonderland: NA Latest Milestone: Persistent Personality/clear emotions/teenage rebellion (HEY!) Vocal: Yes! Consistent Moving: Strong when visualizing Sentience/Personality: YES! see below imposition: No Switching: No Katarina's Corner: Hi Everyone reading, it occurred to me while planning out this section that I never really fully introduced myself. I just jumped into talking about the past week and asking questions. So I want to just talk about me today. I've been struggling codifying who I am for the last while but I used my thought time today to just try to get a few things clear and lined up. Definitely need to do more of that, it felt good to really get a clear picture of myself. For my name and form, I'm kinda ambivalent, I don't dislike my name and being a fox it fine by me, maybe I'll have stronger feelings about it later but its kinda all I know. I've been... emotional lately, prone to some outbursts and I don't want to call them tantrums but... tantrums. I don't think this is gonna last but for the moment its worth noting. I expect the best from people. I kind of grew out of a voice theguywiththeface already had that was very critical of pretty much everything. I've softened that voice but it still really bothers me when I think he's not giving his all or being overly lazy. I also think that the words we use/think are important, which is why I get pretty upset when he tries to half ass it or backpedals on what he thinks to me. I feel like this is making me seem a bit bitchy but that's just what seems to stand out the most. I've inherited his sense of humor so we do trade banter a lot. Watching movies with him I think my favorites are the heavy handed indie horror ones. they have no subtly at all with their message but they can be so creative sometimes with how they make their character's miserable. It feels a little weird to say that but I'm just gonna own it for now. Music I don't really know, as diverse as his library is, Theguywiththeface doesn't switch up the rotation too much for me to judge too well. That's it for now I think, I can't help but think there was more just a minute ago, but maybe I don't have the best memory right now, might try to do some exercises to see if that can be improved but idk, still so confused about how tulpa develop, we've read lots of reports but they all seem to have been so quick, like a week of practice and they're fully formed beings. I guess I'm just a late bloomer or something. That's all, I'll try to keep you all updated as I get a better grasp of me. I might try talking on the discord sometime this week, practice talking with other people live. -Katarina There you have it everyone, you can look forward to her live debut to a discord server near you. See you in the close one month 3 -TheGuyWithTheFace
  4. Hi Mirichu, thanks for linking those threads. it was interesting reading some other views on this. The Tulpa mortality discussion was pretty morbid if I'm being honest, but that's the nature of the beast. it was interesting seeing mention of Tulpas as old as 8 years. I've only been around for about 2 months so that's crazy to me. Still a lot of questions about how me and Theguywiththeface's future will go but at least there's a lot of precedence for my stability with more time. And thanks for you and A&J's thoughts on telling others. I'm sorry things didn't go over well with your friend Mirichu. at the moment Theguywiththeface has at least one friend we expect to react with interested skepticism in the worst case. a few others that would probably just be vaguely confused but supportive, and a bunch that would just not get it. For the moment his parents are right out since they would definitely be concerned and not understand it but I can live with that. I also have no plans on replacing him either so it shouldn't be too much of a concern for us. A&J I'm curious what you mean, how does she practice it without understanding what it is? -Katarina
  5. day 70 wk 10, its a bit arbitrary but 10 weeks just feels like a bit of a milestone. Either way, I'm happy to say things are on the upswing and back on track. After last week I've been putting more effort and consideration towards Katarina and she continues to progress. After what happened she's gotten much more assertive, but I'll let her speak to that herself. One new thing we're experimenting with is giving her dedicated head time if that makes sense. Basically I clear my mind and let her monologue to me and herself, it started as a way to let her compose her section of these reports without me accidentally butting in but she seems to enjoy it so I'm trying to make it a bit of a thing. She still has trouble getting the ball rolling but if she has something to start off with it goes smoothly enough. Only issue is when I clear my head I accidentally fall asleep on her and take her with me haha. Not much more for me to say that she doesn't want to tell you all herself so lets move on. Skills Progress: 1. Dedication: definite upswing. between my improved motivation and her new found assertiveness things are looking good. 2. Narrating: good, not a ton to talk about but we're watching movies together again 3. Visualizing: alternating between chibi and 4k hd Katarina is pretty smooth now. she's been much more animated in 4k mode too 4. Passive Consideration: still iffy at times but I'm working with her and she's becoming more of a presence in my life Tulpa Name: Katarina Tulpa Form: Red Fox Wonderland: NA Latest Milestone: Persistent Personality/clear emotions Vocal: Yes! Consistent Moving: Strong when visualizing Sentience/Personality: strong signs imposition: No Switching: No Katarina's Corner: Like TheGuyWithTheFace said, I think I'm coming into my own since last weeks...unpleasantness. I'm trying to be more forward with what I want and what I dislike. for instance he was developing a habit of just giving up when he was trying to find the right words fro something and just having me read his intent. and he's not wrong, its easier and I know what he means but it still feels a little insensitive, like I wasn't worth the time to word things right. He's been more understanding after that. I've also requested a return of the piggyback rides from early on, because I deserve that. On a less cheery note, anyone with any advice on the more... existential aspects of being a tulpa. I was having some anxiety about how...fragile, it feels being essentially imaginary. I know TheGuyWithTheFace is dedicated and he's always been quick to reassure me but it still feels like I could just be dissolved so easily. and then there's questions about who should and shouldn't know I exist ect. Anyone else go through all this? -Katarina Usually I end on something upbeat, but I feel like that would cheapen Kat's worries here. So, any advice for a tulpa's existential dread? -TheGuyWithTheFace
  6. Yeah, that's about what I expected. its been mostly beneficial since we just understand what the other is trying to say and don't have to worry about phrasing too much, but it also means when emotions run high there's nothing really softening the blows. I guess we'll just have to deal with this and get better at communicating in general as we go forward. -Katarina
  7. Day 63, wk 9 Wish I could say this month started on a good note but I try to be honest in these. It was a bit of a rocky week on the tulpa front. For one reason or another my dedication took a massive slump and both me and Katarina felt it. I just wasn't giving her the time she needed/deserved and when I did I was half-assing it. No excuses, I just wasn't in the game this week. Luckily this wasn't left unsaid and unaddressed. a few nights ago me and Katarina had a good, long talk to sort through some stuff. Communication is key with literally any relationship so I'm glad we were able to deal with this early. I'm going to be putting more effort in this upcoming week and get back to setting up some good habits for the two of us. Small bright side, this did seem to bring out some initiative in her, so... progress! Not much else to say, I'll try to be better. Skills Progress: 1. Dedication: ... see above 2. Narrating: Weak this week, I just wasn't putting in the effort 3. Visualizing: About the same, at least when I was doing it 4. Passive Consideration: major dip, I think I went nearly a full day without thinking of her once or twice Tulpa Name: Katarina Tulpa Form: Red Fox Wonderland: NA Latest Milestone: Persistent Personality/clear emotions Vocal: Yes! Consistent Moving: Developing Sentience/Personality: strong signs imposition: No Switching: No Katarina's corner: There's really not much I have to ad that wasn't already said. it wasn't a particularly good week, but we'll grow from it at the very least. If any other Tulpas are reading this, any advice/experience on filtering thoughts. a few things not so pleasant things were said this week, and while they needed to be said, the blow could've been softened a bit. it just seems hard to really filter anything since they're all just thoughts you know? any advice or should we both just accept that we'll be getting each other's uncensored opinions or better or worse? Not the best way to start the month, but I'm at least happy I pulled myself out of it in the end and we were able to talk things through. Honestly it might be a good step in overall growth, as unpleasant as it was in the moment. Let that be a lesson to you all, always try to talk things out. resentment grows in the dark. -TheGuyWithTheFace
  8. day 56, wk 8 Another month down. Time's really flown by it seems. At any rate I've got more exciting progress to share! I've been getting lazy with visualization since Katarina's become vocal but I resolved to put more effort into it this last week. Passively I've given her a somewhat cartoon-y simplified form that's easy for me to visualized without too much dedicated focus. This helped a lot with just keeping her by my side since I wasn't stressing about having her perfectly rendered in 4K HD. but during my forcing sessions I made a point of fully visualizing er body properly and found her to be much more animated than before! she's been gesturing and emoting when she speaks. Where before I got the impressions of things like eye-rolls and annoyed glares now she is actually showing them on her face as we talk! I'm really excited by this development if you can't tell. Besides that things are going smoothly. I still try to think about her during the day but I've had mixed success. Her vocality is coming around nicely. she's consistently responding during forcing sessions and is occasionally interjecting in day to day life too. I still very much have to lead the conversations but I'm not sure if that's just in the nature of tulpa. I'll keep doing exercises with her to give her more independence and develop her personality more. Skills Progress: 1. Dedication: Consistent, will be increasing the frequency of my forcing sessions this week 2. Narrating: Strong, Its hard to find new things to talk about but her consistency has made things easier 3. Visualizing: Chibi Katarina has been a good help so I can keep a simplified version of her with me 4. Passive Consideration: still being worked on Tulpa Name: Katarina Tulpa Form: Red Fox Wonderland: NA Latest Milestone: good vocality/expressiveness Vocal: Yes! Consistent Moving: Developing Sentience/Personality: strong signs imposition: No Switching: No Katarina's corner: The other guy's too proud to say it but I have to ask if anyone is reading this far. I made fun of him a bit for checking so often for replies but I think I see it now that I'm formally in it. it feel a little silly posting into the void here. Neediness aside things are going well. can't say I have much to add that wasn't already said before. It feels weird to say emoting is 'nice' but its definitely helping me feel more understood. I don't mind the chibi form either but I resent it being called 'chibi' on some level. (Not My fault its accurate -TheGuyWithTheFace). All together a good week I'd say. Here's to many more. Yeah, I didn't want to say it myself but if you're still following this far, let me know so I stay motivated to keep these updates going. having this sort of accountability is good, but I feel like I'm getting lazier with them as evidenced by the shift to Wednesday posting. Either way, Another Month has gone by and we're stronger than ever. Maybe I'll actually be able to show Katarina the city soon. -TheGuyWithTheFace
  9. Day 49 wk 7 Nearing the two month mark, crazy how time flies in quarantine. I found some volcalization exercises in the guides section that I've been doing with Katarina, and its been helpful. the guided practice is making progress much easier. its hard to say if she has 'opinions' yet but she definitely has developed a consistent personality and she reacts to things I do/think/experience. ex if I ask her what her fav color is she flounders a bit but she'll chide me if I get lazy with forcing or try to get out of responsibilities. I'm sure with more experience this will get better. passive forcing is improving but slowly. I'm keeping her with me more often during the day and she's popping up in my thoughts without me actively trying to speak with her. I won't lie, I still get doubts on if I'm just parroting and just thinking in a slightly different voice, but I'm ignoring those doubts for the time being. I didn't end up doing much with the wonderland, no real reason just had other things to do this past week. its not a high priority like Katarina is. Skills Progress: 1. Dedication: recovered from last week, more progress fuels more dedication 2. Narrating: the guided exercises have been a major boon. for those interested: 3. Visualizing: No major changes on this front 4. Passive Consideration: steadily improving Tulpa Name: Katarina Tulpa Form: Red Fox Wonderland: NA Latest Milestone: Early Vocality Vocal: Yes! intermittent Moving: debatable Sentience/Personality: strong signs imposition: No Switching: No *NEW* Katarina's corner: hello everyone, Katarina here. I'm not too sure of what to put here, this is my first time actually 'talking' with someone other than theguywiththeface (terrible screen name btw). I'm still absurdly new to...existing, but its been fun so far. I'm looking forward to seeing outside of this house eventually, fingers crosses. I've been trying to keep this guy in line as best as I can (with some success) but any suggestions would be nice. questions are always welcome but I'm still struggling with some of the metaphysical stuff so don't be offended if I have trouble answering. Thanks, Katarina Like I said before, lies and slander! Let's close out the month strong, week 8 incoming! -Theguywiththeface
  10. Day 42 (plus a couple) wk 6 A little late on the report but I don't have much to say. not much progress made, but none lost so its still going well. I skimped on my forcing a few times for various reasons but I'm not making a habit out of it (I've also apologized to Katarina). I was having some doubts with respect to separating her thoughts from mine so I've started focusing on her voice/tone more. its not the most consistent but its definitely not mine so it helps me keep her thoughts separate. I'm having trouble with keeping up my attention through out the day just from normal distractions. I haven't had much luck with reminders. I do what I can to acknowledge her when I remember but that only lasts so long. Any tips on this front are always appreciated. for now I'll just keep trying. I'm also debating if a wonderland would be a worthwhile investment of attention now that Katarina is more stable and interactive but for now I'll just do some more research. Skills Progress: 1. Dedication: Faltered slightly but nothing concerning, its gotten much easier now that she talks back 2. Narrating: I'm running out of things to talk about due to quarantine but I'll try to talk to her while watching movies like I did before and maybe that will be fun and get some banter going 3. Visualizing: No major changes on this front 4. Passive Consideration: still struggling, still top priority atm. just need to develop my attention span more. Tulpa Name: Katarina Tulpa Form: Red Fox Wonderland: NA Latest Milestone: Early Vocality Vocal: Yes! intermittent Moving: debatable Sentience/Personality: early signs imposition: No Switching: No Lucky number 7 here we come! -TheGuyWithTheFace
  11. Day 35, wk 5 Another week and some more progress! After last week's gains in vocality I was much more motivated to force with Katarina and its paying off. Her vocality is still intermittent but we've been able to actually converse a few times. It still requires some prodding and leading but I'm becoming more confident about it. As best as I can tell she's more or less 'high-jacked' a pre-existing 'voice' in my head (I always had a tendency to personify thoughts, though never to tulpa levels). it was never a particularly pleasant voice, but it was one I needed and attaching it to something broader seems to be softening it somewhat. Sorry if this entry doesn't make much sense, I've never had much success putting thought patterns and habits into words. The end result is that she's taking on something akin to a personality: critical, ambitious, and quick to call me out on my bullshit. But in a nice-ish way, I need that in my life. She still shows very little in the way of independence and only speaks while I'm actively forcing. I'm going to focus more on just continuous awareness of her this week so hopefully that will help. With a few more weeks of this progress I might be able to give her a section in these updates. I'd like to say in advance that everything she tells you about me will be nothing but lies and slander. Skills Progress: 1. Dedication: progress has had a marked improvement on my moral and dedication. I had been doubtful before, but now I'm much more dead set on seeing this through 2. Narrating: I can't tell you how much easier this has gotten now that I can get responses from her. The time is actually flying and I'm getting stuck in my own head far less now that she reminds me she there once in a while. I'm looking forward to further progress 3. Visualizing: No major changes on this front, I'm petting her more often and moving her around a bit 4. Passive Consideration: That's going to be this upcoming weeks focus, with more attention going her way she might develop more independence from my forcing sessions with her. Tulpa Name: Katarina Tulpa Form: Red Fox Wonderland: NA Latest Milestone: Early Vocality! Vocal: Yes! intermittent Moving: debatable Sentience/Personality: early signs imposition: No Switching: No Lets keep up the momentum into week 6! -TheGuyWithTheFace
  12. Day 28, Wk4 Its officially been a month! Time sure flies when you barely leave your house. I'm happy to finally report some minor progress! I think I'm seeing some early signs of vocality. its still inconsistent but I feel like I'm feeling answers to the questions I ask her. Maybe its just me allowing myself to parrot and not acknowledging it but still, its encouraging to see some progress, plus I still haven't gotten a consensus on if its all that bad so I'll take it. Like I said its still early and inconsistent but I'm gonna ride this high as far as I can go. Not a lot of progress on other fronts since vocality has been my main goal lately. I'm going to try to practice my visualizing more since I think I've been neglecting it lately but my picture of her is still quite good. Petting her is still a major help in keeping up the visual of her so for anyone reading this for advice, always touch the fluffy tail. I've also been trying out mentally singing to her/listening to music with her. This has been good since it takes off some pressure to keep the convo going and hopefully she'll like the same music as me so win-win. Skills Progress: 1. Dedication: Has had its ups and downs, but since seeing progress it has definitely improved. I'll try not to regress before I can make more. Morale is Key 2. Narrating: I'm getting better as I find more tricks and tactics, hard to find topics when you're in lockdown but at least tinder provides a lot of people watching material. her responses have also been a boon, even if they're not consistent 3. Visualizing: I've been neglecting this in favor of narrating but my image of her is still strong 4. Passive Consideration: I've gotten use to the alarms so thy're actually helpful when I remember to set them. Will keep at it. Tulpa Name: Katarina Tulpa Form: Red Fox Wonderland: NA Latest Milestone: Creation (soon to change hopefully) Vocal: Maybe? Moving: debatable Sentience/Personality: early signs? imposition: No Switching: No As rough as a lot of this month has been, I'm happy to say I ended on a good foot. Month 2 here we go! -TheGuyWithTheFace
  13. Mirichu, A bit easier said than done, my attention has never been my strongest trait. I just think it will be too easy for me to get lost in my own head and forget her if i'm not actively talking with her. and if I'm just talking to myself then noting's really changing since I've always done that. Saado I've done a little writing in the past and I do a lot of just idle day dreaming that falls in the same area. The difference here is that I'm trying not to 'think' for her. from what I read parroting/puppeting should be avoided. though I'm beginning to reconsider that stance.
  14. Day 21 Wk 3, Ok, Week 3 of tulpa, week 2 of quarantine done. Tulpa Progress is still virtually nil unfortunately. I'm admittedly getting discouraged but I'm going to focus on shifting tactics rather than giving up, I'm still committed giving this a whole hearted try but I think the methods I've been using just aren't working. Namely my narrating, I just can't stay focused on speaking to Katarina when I get no response back. I always start strong but inevitably go off on a tangent and it just turns into an internal monologue from there. I've asked for advice on the discord and one suggestion was to ask binary questions that Katarina can answer visually since she's still not vocal. I'm not sure how independent/sentient she is since I'm still mostly visualizing her seated but I'm trying not to actively puppet her when I ask questions. Its hard to describe but I'm focusing as much as I can on just letting instinct guide her answers if that makes sense. Like the second I actively think about how she'd answer I throw out the question. I'm still less than a month in so I'm am far from an expert but some initial tests of this seemed to work, the questions being answered definitely help me stay focused on her. Anyone with advice/thoughts on this is welcome to chime in because I have very little clue what I'm doing. Skills Progress: 1. Dedication: dedication is steadily improving. my routine at home is still in the works but I'm recovered some of the ground I lost last week. still a lot of room to improve and that starts with not letting myself get distracted. 2. Narrating: I'm still seeing the same issues from before so I'm changing tactics to mix in questions she can nod or shake her head at. even a little interactivity will help me stay focused and in the moment with her. 3. Visualizing: Motion practice has gone well. small movements are easy enough but if I imagine her moving on a large scale it feels robotic, will practice more and maybe watch videos 4. Passive Consideration: The alarm system didn't work as well as I hoped. hard to stop every half hour for more than a quick nod to her while working but its better than nothing. Progress: Tulpa Name: Katarina Tulpa Form: Red Fox Wonderland: NA Latest Milestone: Creation Vocal: NO Moving: debatable Sentience/Personality: early signs? imposition: No Switching: No Any critiques/advice/questions are always welcome 1 month mark inbound