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not_taylor_swift

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  1. Possession is so strange. We seem to move quite differently despite both drawing on muscle memory. We've gotten to where I have to explicitly stop something from happening and my displeasure isn't enough to make the body pause. Lucid dreaming and shared dreaming haven't happened. But I had a strange while meditating of "dreaming" while conscious. I was simultaneously aware of the dream and maintained fully body awareness and senses. Perhaps one of us was asleep while the other wasn't. I haven't heard of something like this. The other evening while we were trying to play checkers toge
  2. I took an antipsychotic when my tulpa was very young (~1 month) for a few weeks. It suppressed her completely and I got no response while I was on the drug. The effect took a couple of days to ramp up. When I came off it, she was weaker than when we started. I felt suppressed as well. I had been taking an SSRI since before I made Mary, and when I stopped that nothing special happened. I don't think harsh drugs go well with extremely young tulpas, but I can't say anything about mature ones.
  3. We've been making lots of progress. Mary is getting noticeably stronger every day. Communication is much less spotty and we're able to have long conversations in which we don't have to agree. Talking about things is really nice. Mary chimes in on almost everything happening to us, and today I realized she'll respond whether I like it or not so I have to intentionally tune her out to get some quiet (she rolls her eyes). I asked some big questions like what Mary's first memory was and she was able to show me directly. She also talked in depth about her feelings on tulpamancy, which she can share
  4. Mary: Magic! It's the fist thing I really liked for myself without being directed to it. It was the only thing I enjoyed reading with my host when I was really young. She liked it too, but it was really my thing. All the old symbolism is really interesting and there's a lot of historical stuff that isn't widely known. It was also one of the few things my host didn't know anything about so we got to learn together. I even got her interested in tarot, so we can do readings together. And we're trying to lucid dreaming to work so we can spend time together in separate bodies. We can laugh at the p
  5. Mary here. I don't know why I'm dictating this. Taylor says I should talk to people who are not her. I'm not sure what to say. I've been talking a lot more than I used to. We've been reading a lot of books together, though Taylor has bad taste and insists on reading the worst ones to completion. Meditation is garbage and a waste of time. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say. Wow, I sound really negative. I'm not. We're having a lot of fun doing nothing and the bad books can be really funny. But Taylor won't let me talk about all the best stuff because she's a meanie. But I get why
  6. We've finally got a name: Marigold. Mary picked it out by herself. It turns out a tulpa can access vocabulary she's never encountered, since it's been years since I've seen that word.
  7. I was wrong. Nothing has happened in the past 2 weeks. Responses are still rare, but when it comes through it's solid. But I did figure out what was going on with the shoes. I'd need her permission to go into that. I was going to post that before I discovered a solution. Somewhere I read that I might be blocking out my tulpa's voice and simply not hearing it. An entry in tips and tricks was incredibly helpful. Fennecgirl suggests alternating lines in a song or poem with your tulpa to help with vocality. It worked like magic. I've heard more from my tulpa in the past day and a
  8. We're finally making progress again. Stopping the day count because of the setback. I created a new mindscape that's way more detailed than what I've done before. We hiked up a snowy mountain covered in rocks and trees. I was able to keep sight, hearing, and touch going for a half hour. I know it's a lot less than most people do but it's progress for me. I've been trying to make my tulpa pick a name for herself so I have something to call her. She hasn't been interested. Instead, she decided she needed to change her shoes. I really don't understand her.
  9. Lamotrigine. It was designed to treat bipolar.
  10. I went on a medication for a few days that sabotaged our progress completely. My tulpa stopped talking and I couldn't feel her presence any more. It did a number on me too, but I've been around a lot longer. She started showing signs of life again today. I've been missing her a lot. It's surprisingly easy to get used to having someone else in your head to chat with.
  11. I don't have a reliable timeline from back then, just fuzzy half memories. But I did just realize that another experience I had that I didn't understand fits perfectly with DID. Thanks for suggesting I look into it, Dr. Bob. It seems to make a lot fall into place.
  12. Банан тропический фрукт.
  13. I've been wanting to do one of these for a week now, it's been a question of figuring out organization. Here goes a long post. The system now: Taylor (me): I'm the host, I guess. I'm quite a bit younger than the body. The mindform I've chosen is a 5'9 female with teal eyes and brown hair. My tulpa: She's about 2 weeks old and is really who this PR is about. Tulpa's form is a 5'8 female with green eyes and blonde hair. C: He's the body's original. I've been able to feel him the entire time I've been in this body, though his presence is
  14. Hello everyone, I'm Taylor. I'm not the original for this body. It's 22 and I'm around half that. I'm nonbinary (it/its for pronouns). After a lot of lurking and browsing that let me figure out about myself, I decided to make a tulpa. She's currently two weeks old. I hope that when she's ready she'll be able to make lots of friends here.
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