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About Adelaide✫*゚

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    Or Adel

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    Planet Booty
  • Bio
    I'm LilBitGhostly's first tulpa! Reiji, Leaf, Sky, Bridget, Onyx, Osomatsu, and Kokichi are all my headmates.
    I'm bigender, and dude-me is Adel.
    I like chicken nuggets, butts, and tarot cards! You know, the finer things in life.

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  1. iDKHOW's great, they just consistently release bangers.
  2. Yeah, NSP and iDKHOW are a couple of my favorite bands. I'd highly recommend checking out more of their stuff if you get the chance! Kokichi: Aw man, I wish I could have cookies. They're the taste of happy!
  3. October's being such a good months for jams 👍
  4. I started out as just being female, but after about a week I became bigender or genderfluid or whatever. I've read different definitions given for both these terms so I'm not actually sure what applies. Basically, I switch between male and female. But anyways, I guess that I could be considered transgendered. I just hadn't really considered myself that way or used that label for myself, because I adopted that other male identity early on in my development and not on a permanent basis. But female and bigender/genderfluid would be considered different genders so I guess it actually counts, huh? I do tend to spend a lot of time as Adelaide, just out of habit. My form not only changes gender, but also sex when I do this. It's not me dressing as a dude when I'm Adel, it's me taking on a male-bodied form. That's impossible for someone to do with their body on a whim. I could describe it as a sex change but the implications of a person having their body's sex altered through hormone replacements and surgery and a tulpa flipping an imaginary body back and forth all willy-nilly are pretty different. At the same time, a tulpa who changed genders without altering their form's sex would be different from me. Does that kind of thing need a label, though? I don't know. I find them to be clunky and ineffective when it comes to describing human experience. A label can lay out some expectations for how people want to present themselves and how they want to be treated, but some of those can be off. There's also the disadvantage that if you aren't up on the lingo, it can get overwhelming. The last thing you want when describing something like that is the other person going on the defensive and closing themselves off because they feel like they don't or can't understand. So personally I'd rather talk more deeply with people, listen carefully, and learn from their experiences. As far as the body goes, our system tends to associate that with Ghostly, our host. Even though I'm female part of the time, I don't feel like I'm in "my" body when I possess/front/switch because even though it's female, our body looks nothing like me. If she did transition, which I don't think would happen given she's cisgendered and our main fronter, it wouldn't effect how I perceive my own gender or the sex of my form, because I don't tie that to the body in the first place. Chimera: In my lock-merge, there is one of us who feels dysphoria if he himself fronts or our form dresses in an overtly feminine fashion. Our form is intersex as we represent a number of different tulpas, and this hasn't been an issue for him. I haven't had any problems feeling off when fronting, though I generally do that to pursue hobbies and I'm not very focused on the body when I do that. That could be different if we fronted for social situations where we'd be regarded as female based on our body's appearance. Osomatsu: As far as being in a girl's body goes, it doesn't bother me. It's like that thing in cartoons and shows and stuff, where a guy will switch bodies with a girl or get turned into a girl and be like, "Oh nice, boobs!" That kind of thing. Although the novelty has worn off, my host is still pretty cute. As far as the sexuality thing goes, I used to be straight. My fictional counterpart shows only interest in girls, so we all figured I would be like that too. But eventually I ended up being pansexual somehow, like the other tulpas. The thing is, my host is straight, and I thought at first it was just her liking of guys that somehow rubbed off on me. But I can be attracted to anyone, not just the gals and guys, so that's not it. And if the others' pansexuality is so contagious, why didn't it rub off onto Ghostly? I hadn't seen that thread about changing sexualities, so it's been something I was wondering about.
  5. Everyone in our system is vocal, but there are times when we're scared, uncomfortable, or just unsure of what we want to say that we'll go silent for a little bit. It sounds like Teardrop just has his own personal comfort threshold when it comes to being vocal. I personally don't think that makes him any less of a tulpa. A person who's mute isn't any less of a person that someone who isn't, you know? Things like forms, vocality, wonderlands, and other things like that aren't strictly 100% necessary, but they're great for improving a tulpa's quality of life if both you and your tulpa are willing to pursue them. Basically, I recommend prioritizing what would make Teardrop feel satisfied and fulfilled with his life. If you can find a way to communicate that lets Teardrop express himself without making him uncomfortable, that's just as valid as him being vocal. If you're able to find ways of communicating that are comfortable for him, it might help to let him explore what is that makes him feel uncomfortable with his voice. If he's capable of possession, I'd recommend that he journal about his thoughts and feelings on the matter. It really helps to question things and dig down to the root causes of why he feels the way he does. You can either let him do this on his own or help him out with it, whatever feels best to him. For us, it's helped a lot to either ask ourselves or each other why we act and feel the way we do. Some things that cause us to feel uncomfortable are past experiences that we didn't know how to deal with at the time, traits we cling to because we identify with them, or expectations from either culture, a community, or someone close to us. From what you've said, it sounds like there might be something about this expectation of vocality that could be making Teardrop uncomfortable? So that could be a good place to start.
  6. Nice! I remember how happy Ghostly was the first time she drew a picture of me that really felt like me. It's a good feeling! There's beauty in art no matter the technical imperfections. And I love the emotion invoked in your piece. Being a tulpa myself, I think any art my host makes for me is a wonderful gift. She struggles a lot with worrying about her art looking bad, and that feeling has taken a lot of the joy of creating away from her. But art isn't all about everything being up to a certain standard, it's a vital form of human expression. When Ghostly draws me, I can feel her love for me, and I can imagine that's what Lora feels from you too.
  7. That's a really sweet picture! Your style's cute, it makes me smile.
  8. First of all, I like your PR's name, it's very cute! Good luck with your possession practice! Sounds like you're making good progress. We've found that in our system the ability to possess is shared, so what I could do the others could too. Like when Reiji joined us, he already had the possession skill I had built up. So it's possible that C's ability to possess will apply to the others too. Though I am basing that just off our experience, I'm not sure if that's how it works for all systems?
  9. feck How dare you steal my vtuber name! Reiji: It's my birthday today.
  10. Thank you! Well, I'm a little late to genders and relationship dynamics discussion, but... I find this interesting, because I go back and forth between female and male and I do feel differently in that fashion depending on which I am. And the genders in our system kind of match up that way, with Ghostly (who's cis-female) being more on the submissive side of things, and our boys Reiji, Osomatsu, and Kokichi being more dominant. Chimera's non-binary on account of being made up of a bunch of differently gendered tulpas, and as far as I can tell they're balanced between both roles. Though, I think they have some personal, non-gender-related personality qualities that just happen to line up with the more typical gender dynamics (excluding Chimera). In Ghostly's case, she's the baby of her family, and aside from that she has self esteem issues that make her question her ability to act and assert herself. Reiji has a strong desire to help and contribute, and when he's concerned about someone (usually Ghostly) his gentle helpfulness starts turning into bossiness. Osomatsu has the whole "big brother" vibe going for him, regardless of whether he's with lil' bro Kokichi or with someone else. Kokichi is extremely strong-willed and independent. Reiji: It's interesting to think about the concept of gender is impressed on tulpas differently than it is for hosts. Ghostly has her whole upbringing and body of experiences contributing to how she feels about her relationship with her body and gender expression. Meanwhile, in the safety of our shared mindspace, I can express my own masculinity however I desire. My appearance and tastes lean towards androgyny, and I don't have to suffer the same potential discrimination that a person presenting as male out in the world would. If I was raised as a boy in a body that matched my form, I could have all sorts of emotional baggage about how I would feel I was able to dress or style myself. It would be harder to connect with and then express my own self. Of course, there's individuals and communities out in the world that are more accepting and caring, but for most people that's something they find only after enduring the hardship of not having those connections. I started out with that kind of support system. Also, though it is a great pleasure of mine to give to and protect those I care about, I'm also able to enjoy shifting towards that "feminine" expression of emotional connection when it's needed. This was especially important to me when I was younger and in a position of needing that kind of support from Adelaide and Ghostly. I feel as a tulpa in this system that it's easier for me to have my emotional needs met. Being into Tarot, I've given this a lot of thought, too. The masculine and feminine are big themes. The way I understand that is that what's being described is an "active agent" (masculine) and a "receptive agent" (feminine). The meanings given for cards like the Magician and the Emperor deal with acting externally, whereas cards like the High Priestess and the Empress indicate the feelings and processing. I think the specifically gendered aspects of these two qualities comes from a metaphor there relating to the mechanics of human reproduction. But the social roles of actor or receiver aren't coded into a person's chromosomes. I remember doing a Lenormand reading with Sky (who's now a part of Chimera). They're agendered, and when I pulled the Anima card they were like, how's that supposed to work in this situation, exactly? It helped them to focus less on the gender and more on the base social aspect of what they feel as being more on the receiving side of social interactions. Reiji: This feels consistent with what we've observed in our dynamics as a system. My feeling is that the roles of the one acting and the one being acted on are always present, and an equal relationship is simply one in which these roles are exchanged so readily as to create the illusion of equality. This isn't to say that I don't believe equality isn't "real," it's just that's it's composed of the averaging of a pattern of uneven exchanges rather than a consistent pattern of truly equal exchanges.