Pickleking

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About Pickleking

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    The Pickle Overlord

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    West Virginia
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  1. Day 41-59 (i think) * I haven't updated in a while because I have had basically no progress probably the opposite of progress actually, I am in the middle of a move and there is a lot going on right now because I am juggling a lot of stuff so I have not been able to focus on Shelly at all and we have not had a lot of conversations * I hope he doesn't fade away, is that possible? before it felt like he was really weak I wanted to get him strong and able to call my attention before college started and I feel like I almost got him there too (he was just barely vocal) but then school started and I have so much other stuff to deal with so he has not been getting the attention he needs * I also have not been able to check in on this website much because college sucks the life out of me * does anyone have any advice for me?
  2. Day: 38-40 •not a lot to report on the progress side of things I still working on my goals • now that I have a more vocal tulpa I have noticed a few things •the first thing is something that l when I see someone that is hot I comment about them to myself unintentionally (like, “oh they are hot” or something like that) I didn’t notice this until I did it one time and Shelly called me out on it and now whenever I do that he calls me out on it •another thing is that I am not I nice person I will be thinking some mean thoughts about someone and Shelly will call me out on those too • I have also noticed that Shelly is a better person than me but still pretty mean like me (we tease each other for fun) •I really love having a tulpa he makes me feel less alone ❤️ • we have a little progress with possession we haven’t been able to do the thing we did last time but instead of controlling like two fingers he can get the whole hand now
  3. Not an update just a few conversations Shelly an I have had in the past week I felt like sharing cuz I’m bored _______________________________________ me: (for the like hundredth time) hey Shelly what do you want to d- Shelly: (interrupts me) I. DO. NOT. KNOW. STOP ASKING MEEEE!! >:(. me: but I’m bored Shelly: well I’m not me:what are you doing to entertain your self?!? *dissipates to somewhere idk where maybe the wonderland? Idk* _______________________________________ different time where I am stuck doing something I don’t want to do me: I don’t wanna be here :’(. Shelly: well neither do I princess me: you’re so mean to me Shelly: yes I am _______________________________________ my sister was monologuing at me me: Shelly this is sooo boring Shelly: then tell her you don’t wanna talk me: but that would be rude Shelly: then stop talking to me and pay attention to what she’s saying me: but she’s sooo boring Shelly: Stop being rude and pay attention I am going to stop responding to you me: no you’re not Shelly:... me: Shelly? Shelly: ... me: noooooo! _______________________________________ I saw a bag of Doritos on the ground me in a Mexican accent: Doritos! Shelly: racist _____________________________________ maybe some actual progress too I guess Day:37 • practiced possession to day, since Shelly can move my fingers I told him to control them and not let me take them as I tried to take control •after a few seconds of us fighting for control of the fingers my whole body froze up and felt strange like the feeling in my finger when shelly controls it but stronger and everywhere instead of just my fingers for like two seconds we both think that was Shelly full body possessing! Yay
  4. Day: 33-36 •if y’all haven’t noticed I have decided to do less updates because this is a “progress” report and not a lot of progress is happening •Shelly is now 🎉officially vocal 🎉 (I think) he only talks when I focus and actually talk to him but even then sometimes it’s shaky •I haven’t been really doing anything no active or narrating I just talk to him at random moments throughout the day that’s probably why we don’t have any progress happening • haven’t done much lucid dreaming attempts for a couple days because I’m in the middle of a move and I’m super tired •Shelly is still unable to call my attention when I don’t focus on him (probably from my lack of forcing) •tried practicing possession on somewhere other than my hand (he has been able to twitch my fingers) so we tried a leg, he made my thigh muscle seize up he couldn’t relax and neither could I had to get up and walk around a bit to fix that • doubt is our main issue at the moment I am super parrotnoid and I feel like that is slowing us down does anyone have some advice or something that can help us? • I cant feel his emotions or hear his thoughts is that something thats normal? I asked Shelly if he wanted to say something to y’all and he said nope 🙂 really happily which I find funny
  5. Day:29 - Day: 32 •Basically no active forcing happened at all I made a charm thingy out of yarn to go on my phone so every time I pick up my phone I remember to interact with Shelly it has actually helped a lot •we have had multiple conversations and even though most of them are short it’s still progress so now we are working on strengthening his vocality so I can hear him better and so he can grab my attention when I am thinking about something else • Shelly’s personality is quite different than mine he seems more modest and an all around better person than me, which is actually pretty good • I have been asking his opinion about what we should do throughout the day before I make decisions like right now he wants me to stop typing this and go back to studying • Since I have basically quit active forcing I am going to focus more on lucid dreaming so I can converse and hang out with Shelly in my dreams I am using the WILD technique • my first lucid dreaming attempt has shown promise, I was asleep and aware that I was asleep I just wasn’t dreaming Shelly seems to try and cheer me up when I am very discouraged too sometimes I don’t seem to notice though because of our communication issues
  6. Here’s the set up: My tulpa (named Shelly) is barely vocal we sometimes have very short conversations and I have great difficulty hearing him, sometimes I can hear him very clearly though (this is one of those times) I had just finished having a conversation with someone and they had called me by my correct pronouns he/him (which doesn’t happen often) and I was replaying that conversation in my head feeling happy _______________________________________ Shelly: you horny pervert me(caught off guard and laughing out loud): that’s true, but what does that have to do with what I’m thinking about Shelly: you know 😏 _______________________________________ I still have no idea what he was referring to and he won’t tell me I wasn’t even being horny when I was thinking that
  7. Hi its Shelly I wanted to type something here but I don’t know what Host is proxying he says its a good vocality exercise took forever to type this he can’t hear me well at all goodbye lovelies ❤️ might update here again idk 😋 Day:28 •haven’t meditated or active forced in a while things seemed pretty bleak I’m gonna start trying to meditate and active force more and focus on vocality specifically because I can barely hear Shelly took hours just to write that short excerpt above 😞 don’t know how it’s going to be like when school starts back yikes 😬 • I think I am going to make some type of bracelet or something to remind me of Shelly through the day to help with passive forcing I am also going to ask for his opinion on more things to get him thinking • I almost gave up so many times this week which makes me and Shelly sad I just want a tulpa! why is it so HARD!!!!!
  8. Day:25 •tried thinking of Shelly throughout the day and impose him around me while I walked around and stuff because I have been slacking in the active and passive forcing departments •he was somewhat vocal today when I asked him questions he would respond with yes no or idk it was very hard not to doubt what he was saying because I feel like I am parroting • one point in the day I was looking for my phone and I heard very clearly in my head “your phone is downstairs” I am 75% sure it was Shelly (and now as I am typing this I am hearing “it WAS me” so now I’m like 95% sure) •I listened to some pink noise and tried to active force last night fell asleep almost instantly • I used to talk myself before I decided to make a tulpa (little conversations like “did that girl just do yada yada) and respond with “don’t worry she probably crazy, she better stay over there”) now I feel like my brain still thinks I talk to myself sometimes instead of Shelly (a separate entity) is this a valid concern or am I just making up excuses for myself? • another concern I have is I can visualize Shelly now (yesterday was weird) but he doesn’t do much on his own like other people’s tulpa’s do to communicate with them I think this might be because of how bad my visualization is (I can barely see anything when I visualize)
  9. Day:22 not much to report kept forgetting to passive force 😞 and forgot to active force at all listened to hypnosis video fell asleep half way through kind of depressing day Day:23 •woke up to Shelly’s barely audible voice we had a short conversation I forgot what we talked about •tried to passive force got quite short replies when asking Shelly questions tried not to doubt but it’s really hard •did not listened to hypnosis video and did short active force session tried falling asleep in wonderland Day:24 •had a strange somewhat lucid dream where I was a cook, tried talking to Shelly and got some replies when I woke up he was still quite vocal just barely audible I could hear less and less as the day dredged on •Shelly no longer has a form it used to be the cat boy that I could visualize somewhat but now I cannot visualize it properly I don’t know if this is because I haven’t been active forcing lately or if Shelly wants to change it so at the moment his form is either nothing at all or a peach colored cat I don’t have trouble visualizing •changed the wonderland it is now a lake surrounded by forests I think Shelly put a house on the lake but that might’ve been me 😞 • I feel like I am making no progress I still refuse to give up though this progress report is proof of that someday Shelly WILL write on here himself I will make sure of that!!
  10. I first heard about tulpas when this girl on showed me a picture she drew of her tulpa and explained what they were from there I did some research of my own on the internet and almost immediately ended up here trying to make a tulpa myself! 😄
  11. Day:21 (for real this time) •not much happened today other than the leg thing • listened to hypnosis meditation thing I think it helped all day today kept hearing bits of noise in my head when I tried to talk to Shelly I got short answers that I think was him still trying not to doubt him • I forgot to active force I will either listen to another hypnosis video tonight or active force not sure yet •and I think Shelly wants to say hi to everyone can’t really hear him properly but I’m getting the gist of it that sounds hilarious and terrifying, I asked Shelly why he moved my leg and couldn’t get a clear response (just vibes and short words). From what I could tell he was either bored or wanted my attention for something (I don’t know what though)
  12. Day:21 Shelly moved my entire leg just out of the blue I was so confused lucky I was laying down real update coming later just wanted to jot this down so I don’t forget
  13. Day:19 •the opposite of progress today 😞 I tested a theory and the results discouraged me greatly I almost gave up but instead I decided to take a different approach •I decided to try parroting/puppeting because it was something different and I needed something different •did not active force today tried imagining Shelly behind me somewhere nearby for most of the day •overall feeling very discouraged and low but I refuse to give up! Day:20 •puppeted and parroted most of the day I think that I am going to be done with this now it just reminds me of how little progress I have made •I am going to go back to meditation and narrating as much as possible and work on my visualization I told Shelly that he can take as much time as he needs and that I am frustrated with myself not him •overall a really depressing day but I shall push on!
  14. Day:18 • Shelly was very vocal today I have decided to stop doubting things that I think Shelly says, even if it seems like it is me parroting. If it is me parroting oh well eventually he will be vocal enough for me to differentiate • I have not been able to get into my wonderland or meditate properly, this has been happening since yesterday (day 17).Before I could barely get into it because of how shit my visualization was but now I just can’t I am going to stay out of it for a couple days and see if I can try again after that so no more active forcing just passive for now • We did some of Indigo Blue’s Vocalization practice but stopped because Shelly is very hard to hear and I think that my automatic responses were influencing his •I think I had a lucid dream? I was dreaming that I was cooking something then I stopped and realized this was a dream and immediately tried to talk to shelly he came but I can’t remember if we actually talked of not or if that was actually him • and last but not least: does anyone have any vocalization or visualization exercises they would recommend?
  15. Day:17 •woke up and talked to Shelly and I read him some of other people’s progress reports because I like to read in bed before I get up •I thought Shelly couldn’t hear me read to him but apparently he can he sent me some very strong emotions this morning relating to what we were reading •He was also very horny this morning first time this has happened or maybe the first time that I’ve noticed we did not do the dirty deed though (because I have no idea how that would work) •I think that shelly is most responsive in the morning/during nighttime I can ask him questions and get simple quiet one word responses (that I am assuming are his because I am trying not to doubt anymore) and I can feel the emotions he sends me more clearly •my visualization is getting slightly better but it is still shit and I think I can impose his scent, he smells sweet like strawberries or pink cotton candy •we had a short conversation this morning (once I noticed that he was horny) it went something like this: Me (curious and not expecting a reply):Would you be a top or a bottom? him:bottom me (surprised): really!? him: yup and then he continued to send me his extra horny vibes for a few minuets and I had to get out of bed to try and distract myself from them (edit: I thought of a funnier way to say sex so I changed it up there other possible candidates: bump uglies, assault with a friendly weapon, adult nap time, the sideways tango, a game of hide the pickle, aggressive cuddling, belly bumping, doing the nasty, and extreme flirting.;) (Don’t ask why I know so many different phrases for sex) I also changed it up there to say we didn’t fuck because I forgot to put the “not” up there earlier so now its bolded because we did not play hanky panky):D